Ashley
The alarm for my phone goes off and I panic and scramble to turn it off before Ethan realizes what's happening. Thankfully I set the volume on low so that it would be quiet. It vibrates, too, but I don't think that will wake him on its own. I'm not even sure if I needed to set the alarm in the first place, because it's been nearly impossible for me to fall asleep. I kept closing my eyes and trying, but then I would open them, look at my bedside table clock, and less than twenty minutes passed. The night went on like this, over and over, until I did finally fall asleep, but...
I'm not asleep now. I'm awake and I need to leave. I have a plane to catch.
I leave my phone on the bedside table and sneak up and out of bed. Ethan sleeps softly, breathing even softer. He's laying on his back and my hand used to be across his chest, but I managed to free myself without him waking up. I slide my legs over the edge of the bed and slip away into the dark of night. Tiptoeing to my bedroom door, I grab my bag, open the door, and slip outside.
I want to take a shower before I leave, but I obviously can't do it in my room. I didn't think about this last night. Maybe I should have told Ethan he needed to sleep in his own room, but I'm not sure if that would have worked, either. It's fine, though. It's just a minor setback, but I have an idea. I tiptoe down the halls and head to Ethan's room, then sneak inside. Once I'm in, I close the door behind me and flip on the lightswitch.
I can use his bathroom. I can shower there. This is kind of where it all started, isn't it? It isn't exactly, but this is where I came when I agreed to our one week arrangement. I stripped down right over... here. I step there now, standing firmly on the exact spot. Placing my overnight bag on the floor by the foot of Ethan's bed, I decide this will be where I leave, too. This will be the beginning of my end. I pull off my pajamas and undress in the exact same spot as when I came to tell Ethan we could try his agreement. When I'm done, I pick my overnight bag back up and step into his bathroom.
I keep the light off in the bathroom, preferring the cool darkness instead. I leave the door open, though, so the light from his bedroom washes in, partly slicing through the darkness. Creeping in, I reach for the shower knobs, twist them, wait until the water is warm enough, and then I step in.
I don't have a lot of time, but I want to enjoy this while I can. I'm not sure what's going to happen to me after this morning. I don't know what Jake will want me to do. I need to figure out a plan, though.
First things first. If I agree to this, he needs to agree to some things for me, too. I want to see him erase the text messages I accidentally sent him, and I want to see him delete the recording of our phone conversation, too.
What if he made copies, though? What if he doesn't agree to delete anything and instead wants to continue blackmailing me? I think I should be able to steal his phone, even for a little bit, and delete everything myself, but I'm not sure what to do if he made copies. I'll have to figure that out as I go. That's my only option at the moment.
I wash off quick and rinse my hair. I shouldn't have rinsed my hair. Ethan doesn't have a hair dryer, and I don't want to risk going back into my room to get mine. I can't ask my mom to borrow hers, either. It's three in the morning, and she'd definitely wonder why I didn't just use my own.
I dry my hair as best I can given the circumstances, then tiptoe back into Ethan's bedroom.
I packed a few quick things in the dark before I snuck back into bed with him last night. Hopefully it's enough. I grab a pair of panties and a bra and slip those on quick, then a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Nothing very fancy or nice. I don't want to wear anything nice for Jake. I used to want to, and sometimes I did, but not anymore. Maybe if I look unappealing enough, he'll give up this entire idea and let me leave.
I doubt it. I wish it were possible, but I doubt it.
I put my pajamas back in my overnight bag, turn off the light in Ethan's room, and slip away into the hall. Creeping to the stairs, then down, I sneak into the kitchen. I can hide here, I think. Sort of. I should eat something before I go, too.
There's a banana in the fruit bowl and a yogurt cup in the fridge, so I take those and grab a spoon quick, then go sit at the kitchenette table. I try to eat, and I do manage to take a few bites of banana and yogurt, but I'm not sure if I'm hungry anymore. I take one more bite of each, forcing myself, but afterwards I start to feel nauseous.
I'm really going to do this, aren't I? I'm going to sneak away, get on an early morning flight to a place I've never been, and let my ex-boyfriend blackmail me into becoming his sex toy for the next few days in order to keep the fact that I've been sleeping with my stepbrother a secret...
It sounds crazy. It really is crazy, isn't it? It is and it isn't. It's something that's actually happening, but I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me. It hurts to think about it. My heart hurts. My stomach hurts. I feel physically ill again. I start to gag a little, and then my mom walks into the kitchen, smiling.
"Really early flight, huh?" she asks.
I refrain from looking sick. I can't let her know. I can't have her trying to convince me to stay here instead.
"Yup," I tell her. "I thought it'd be the easiest."
"Did you sleep alright? It feels like we were talking in the living room just a few minutes ago."
"I slept alright," I say, lying. "I'm going to try and sleep on the plane, too."
"Is it a direct flight or do you have any layovers?" she asks.
"One stop," I say. "It's just for an hour. It won't be too bad."
"That's what everyone always says," my mom says with a wink. "Then there's delays for days." She grins and laughs. "I'm sure that won't happen. Ethan's father and I had a short delay on our flight back, but nothing too bad. Usually morning flights are a little better about delays. That's how it's always been for me."
For her. We never really flew much before she married Ethan's dad. After that, we all flew a lot more, though. In high school we used to take three or four vacations a year. I remember thinking it was crazy that we were allowed to miss school for a week like that, but I always made sure to get my homework assignments in advance so I could do it on vacation.
Ethan got his homework assignments in advance, too, but he never actually did them when we were gone. He'd always leave early, come back later for lunch, leave again, and be back for dinner.
Sometimes I thought about going with him. I was awake when he left, and I could have, but I stayed in our hotel suite instead. I stayed and I did my homework like I thought I was supposed to. I'm the good girl, right? I'm the girl who does her homework, gets good grades, and doesn't cause trouble. That's exactly who I am. That's always who I've been. It's not like I stayed in the hotel the entire time, but I always made sure to do my homework for the day first.
I think it would have been fun to go with Ethan, though. I never knew what he did when he left. I never asked and he never told me. He looked like he was enjoying himself, though. I don't know that for sure, but he always looked healthier and more vibrant to me, like an entirely different person than when we were trapped in a classroom.
And then when we came back home and went back to school he got yelled at for not doing an entire week's worth of homework, but that's another story entirely.
"Do you want the rest of this?" I ask my mother, holding up the remains of my banana and yogurt cup. "I'm not very hungry."
"No," she says. "Thank you, though. I just saw the light on in the kitchen and I figured it was you, so I thought I'd come say goodbye before you left."
"Thanks," I say, smiling. I do appreciate it, but it's hard to smile right now.
"Did you get everything you need? You're not forgetting anything, are you?"
I kick idly at the overnight bag by my feet. "I packed everything last night, so I should be fine."
"Alright. What time is the taxi showing up? I can drive you now if you want. I should have asked you what time the flight was last night. I didn't think you'd be leaving this early."
I glance at the clock on the microwave. "Oops, um... I should go wait outside. They should be here any minute."
"Might be easier that way," my mom says with a smirk. "The gates always catch people up. Especially this early. They might think it was a prank."
I laugh. "Maybe. Stranger things have happened."
"Give me a hug before you go, though," my mom says.
I stand up and go to her. It's so easy to hug her. I've always hugged my mother. I've always felt close to her, too. I've always told her everything about every part of my life. Even at college, I used to call her every single day to talk, and sometimes we'd talk for hours. My mom is like my best friend.
It would be easy to tell her everything right now. Easy to say, yes, but not easy to deal with it after the fact. I can't tell her. I don't want to. I don't want her thinking I'm a bad person. I don't want to lose my mother, and I can't lose my best friend. I need her so much, especially right now. I'm going to need her even more when I come back.
What about Ethan? What will he do? What's going to happen when I return? Is he going to hate me? Will he even ask me why I left, or will everything go back to normal once I'm gone? It's just like him, isn't it? It's just like those times where we were on vacation as a new family in high school and he left in the morning, then came back. I never asked him where he was going. I'm not sure if he'll ask me where I'm going.
That's what I want to believe, because it's easier, but I don't actually believe it. I'm not sure what I'm going to tell him if he asks, though.
A car honks outside. Oh no, it's the taxi! I hurry to grab my bag and my mom goes with me to the front door. She unlocks and opens it for me, leading the way for me to make my escape into the cool night air. I need to go now. I need to leave before Ethan realizes I'm leaving, because I'm not sure if he would let me. He would probably rather do something stupid and idiotic that would cause a lot of trouble. I kind of like that about him, but I don't know if that's the right way to deal with this. There's too much at risk right now.
"Have a safe trip," my mom says. "You're coming back soon, right?"
"Yeah, it's just a few days," I tell her. "I'll call you when I'm on my way home. Don't worry, Mom."
"Call me when you get there, too," she says. "I want to know that you got there safely."
"I'm sure I will!" I say, laughing a little. "Planes are pretty safe, you know?"
"I know," she says, grinning. "I'm your mother, though, and I worry about you."
"I know," I say. "Thank you."
The taxi honks again, louder and longer than before. Stop! I want to scream at him, but that would make this even worse. I heft my overnight bag up over my shoulder and run out and towards the front gate. I get there quick, then put in the code to open the little side door, and slip out and to the cab. A burly looking woman glares at me as I get into the car.
"Where to?" she asks. "Don't mean to be a bitch, but this is my last run for the night and I'd like to get home."
"Sorry," I mumble. "I just need to go to the airport."
"Sure, that works," she says. Before she pulls away, she taps a button on the meter to start the fare clock. "Should be close to twenty. You paying in cash or credit?"
I fish through my bag and pull out my cute little purse that I packed away in there. It's the only cute thing I brought, with everything else being plain. I grab my wallet from that and poke through. I should have enough.
"Cash is fine," I say, smiling.
"Sure thing, kid," she says, nodding.
The car pulls away, heading down the road to the highway, then to the airport. I'm gone.