Ashley
"Sorry about before," Julia says to me.
"Huh?" I ask.
After my heart to heart with Ethan, Julia and I left the house to get lunch and go shopping. Nothing too crazy, just a nice little outlet mall nearby. I like the dresses at this one store, and... they have a nice selection of lingerie, too. Which... I might go look at in a second... maybe...
Just for me, you know? A girl has to treat herself sometimes. I don't have any plans for this. It's not like I want to show it to anyone, or dress up sexy for anyone, or...
Yeah, um... I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I just...
"I didn't mean to be so um... open?" Julia says. "I don't know. I know Ethan is your brother now. That must be weird, huh?"
"Stepbrother," I tell her; and I feel like this is a good reminder for me, too. Again. "It's been a couple of years since our parents married," I add. "It's not like it's some all of a sudden thing."
"Yeah, I guess so. I never really thought about it before, though. Must be hard, huh?"
"What?" I really have no idea what she's saying.
"You know, um... with him walking around shirtless like that? Don't you stare? Er... that's weird, isn't it? Since he's like your brother and um... your parents are married now, and..."
"Yeah," I say. Be casual, Ashley. Cool and smooth. "Ew. Gross."
That's it. Ew and gross are proper words to describe staring at your brother with lust. Or having sex with him. Stepbrother. What the heck? I need to stop this. It really is getting weird. I can't just fantasize about...
Is he really going to do that? If I texted him right now and told him what store I was at, that I was about to try on some lingerie, would he seriously come here, drag me into a changing room, and...
Eat me out?
Oh my God. Wow. Um...
"I just think it'd be hard," Julia says. "I mean, I understand, you know? That it's weird. His dad and your mom. I don't know if I could help myself, though. I'm kind of interested, aren't you?"
"Huh?" Again, I'm confused. Where is she going with...?
"He's got a reputation and everything. I know he's kind of an asshole. Everyone says it, and he acts the part, so it's not like I'm saying he isn't. I'm just saying that um... if I know he's an asshole, and I don't go into it with any expectations, well... everyone says he's really good in bed, too, so..."
"Julia! Seriously? Why are we having this conversation?"
"I mean... would you mind if I...? I'm just curious!"
"Yes," I say. "I mind."
"Just once?" she asks. "I won't even tell you about it, I won't talk about it, Ashley, I swear. I just kind of... I mean, Ethan is hot! For real."
"I'm not going to give you permission to have sex with my brother," I say.
"Stepbrother," Julia adds.
"Whatever."
I'm done. This is done. I go back to poking through these cute summer dresses. They're nice. There's a few that I'm not too sure about. Strapless ones. I like those, but sometimes they can be a pain. It's not that I have huge breasts, but... they're big enough to sometimes cause issues with something like that. Ooh, but there's some cute strapless bras over there, too. I should try those on. And then...
Lingerie. I can rationalize this one to Julia, I think. I don't have to mention it's for anyone. I told her a little about what happened with Jake, so I can just say I want to get something sexy to make me feel better, to make me feel sexier even if I don't have a boyfriend right now.
Which is true. Sort of. I don't have a boyfriend, but I have someone I wouldn't mind being sexy for. Does that count? She doesn't have to know that.
"What if it's just a blowjob?" she asks. "Like, no penetration? If he fingers me is it alright? Or what if he goes down on me? Does that count?"
You know what, Julia? He's going down on me as soon as I get home! And, yes, I like hanging out with you, but, no, you can't have my brother. Ethan is mine. For this week. He's...
I don't say any of this, I just give her a nasty look. She sighs and shakes her head.
"It's just such a waste," she says. "I get why you can't do anything with him, but I don't know why I can't take advantage of it. We're friends, aren't we?"
I laugh. Yes, um... if only she knew...
"It's just weird," I say. "I have to live with him, too, you know? What if you fall in love with him? I know you say you won't, but a lot of girls said that in high school, right?"
"Yeah, well, we both know how he is," she says, matter-of-fact.
"Yeah," I agree.
"It doesn't matter who falls in love with Ethan Colton. He'll sleep with them for a couple of weeks, then dump them and never return their calls. Remember when we tried to figure out if there was some astrological equation to it?"
I laugh. "I can't believe we did that. It was so stupid."
"Yeah," she says, snickering. "Like, maybe it had to do with the alignment of the stars? If you go on a date with Ethan at a certain time of the month, during a certain time of the year, then you can figure out how to make him fall in love with you. Every girl would have loved to know if that was true."
"What about the werewolf theory?" I asked. "That was a good one, too."
"Yeah, didn't work, though. It was never the same time. A couple of times he ditched girls when it was a full moon, but it never happened regularly."
"Maybe we should have tried tea leaves?" I suggest.
"Shit, we never did that, did we?" Julia says. "I don't even know how to read tea leaves."
I shrug and giggle. "Me either. Could be fun to try, though?"
"You want to? We can get some tea and go back to your place?"
"Um... maybe another time. I'm still uh... I'm just not feeling up to it right now, after what happened with Jake, you know?"
Actually, I'm not feeling up to it right now because of what's going to happen with Ethan, but she really doesn't need to know that one, now does she?
"I understand," she says. "Ooh, hey, you want to look at lingerie? That'll make you feel better. Sexy and confident! It's cute, too."
You read my mind, Julia!
"Sure," I say, trying not to sound too excited. "That could be fun."
"I'll get something, too. You know, just in case. I wish I had someone to show it off to, though. Like, um..."
"Seriously, don't even say it."
She doesn't. Not for a few seconds. Not until we're standing next to a rack of sexy, sheer negligees.
"Like Ethan."