Declan
The unmistakeable sound of sex bangs through my apartment. A bed creaking as two bodies slap together, the headboard hitting against the wall every few seconds, muffled grunts and enthusiastic moans, pound, thrust, bang, creak, all of it. The worst part is it isn't even me.
Yeah, I'm just sitting in my living room, minding my own business, trying to do some last minute reading on my laptop. My roommate, on the other hand, is doing some last minute fucking in his bedroom. I mean, it's behind closed doors, so it's kind of whatever at this point, but seriously dude.
It's a common misconception that everyone in seminary school is some chaste, devout, and good person. And... I'm going to ruin this for you right here and now and tell you that couldn't be further from the truth.
First off, not everyone who attends seminary is planning on becoming a priest, let alone a Catholic one. I'm not going to get too much into the specifics as far as religion goes, because I like to be pretty tolerant there, but plenty of my classmates are here for other callings like volunteer work in non-profit organizations, spiritual directors, counselors, social justice, and some are planning on getting into government work.
Basically if you want to change the world for the better, seminary school is a decent choice. It just depends on how exactly you plan on changing it, I guess. That one's not up to me to figure out for you, though. I only know why I'm here.
Second, even if you're planning on being a priest, or more specifically a Catholic one, uh... let's just say that everyone has their own thoughts on the matter. Maybe in a perfect world we could all agree on one absolute set of rules, but the world is far from perfect. Which is kind of why we're here, right? We're planning on changing the world for the better, so...
Some people take their vows of celibacy seriously, too. By that, I mean they fully plan on staying celibate once they take the vow, but before that it's open season on whatever. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, right? I'm not sure it works that way, but then again I'm the guy who fucked around a lot in college just a couple years ago, so it's not like I have room to talk.
Anyways, there you go. My roommate is banging some girl in his room while I'm sitting in the living room reading.
Also, I kind of took a personal vow of celibacy after everything that happened, so...
I can remember it all, though. The feel of my cock sliding into a wet and willing girl that's laying there in my bed. The sounds we made, more up close and personal than what I'm hearing right now. The way her lips caressed against my cheek or my ear or my throat as she let out her next lust-filled moan. And then the sound of our bodies slapping together as I thrust hard into her over and over again.
Yeah... I'm not doing that anymore... I'm not jealous or anything. No regrets!
That's a lie. I have regrets. I'm not going to change my mind or anything, at least not over this, but I have some regrets. Don't worry, I'll get over it.
The sex sounds stop, and after a few minutes my roommate and his last minute girl come into the living room, mostly dressed and covered in sweat. The girl smiles sheepishly at me. I toss her a little wave, kind of like, "Yeah, hey, it's cool. Don't even worry about it." That just makes her blush, so I guess I'm failing at this.
My roommate just shrugs and acts like nothing's wrong. Which I guess is the truth. Nothing's technically wrong, it's just...
"Hey dude, we were going to go to a bar to celebrate or something. One last hurrah before heading home for summer break. You want to come?" he asks me.
"Nah, it's cool, Will. I'm good. Thanks, though," I say.
"Are you still on that purity kick?" he asks. "I get the celibacy part, kind of. But you're really not going to drink? It's not like you have to get drunk or anything."
"Ooh, you took a vow of celibacy?" the girl asks me. I kind of want to call her Vanessa. I don't know why, she just looks like a Vanessa to me.
And, yes, I took a personal vow of celibacy. It's not official or anything, unless you consider the fact that God might be watching me, and I had to make the promise to someone, you know? And then: no drinking, no smoking, and no whatever other bad habits you can think of. I had to draw the line at going with a vow of poverty, because I'm in seminary school, which is basically grad school in a lot of ways, and I'm already poor to begin with. College students aren't exactly known for their prosperity, so...
I could ask my stepfather for money, but I won't. It's the principle of it. My mom already sneaks me money here and there and I kind of feel bad about it, but who the fuck wants to eat noodles in a cup for half their meals and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest? Sorry, God, but I'm trying.
"Yeah, uh... it's just a personal thing," I say to the girl who might be named Vanessa. "It's no big deal."
Everyone thinks it's a big deal, though. Mostly what ends up happening is girls try to see if it's real or not. I've never had as many offers of pussy as I've had since I took a personal vow of celibacy. Seriously, how the fuck does that even work? It's got to be that whole "God works in mysterious ways" thing, I swear. It's a test or a trap or it's the most ingenious way to pick up women that's ever existed. One of those.
"Well, hey, if you change your mind," Will says. "One drink. It's not going to hurt anything. You can go to confession next Sunday when you're back home. I'm pretty sure any priest would forgive you for that one."
Yeah, about that, uh...
Me and confession have a sordid history. Unfortunately the confession I made almost six years ago is probably still true today. It's not for a lack of trying. It's just...
Fuck. That's it. I don't know what it is. It's just fuck.