Grey
I'm just sitting here, watching TV, minding my own business, when two eighteen year old girls plop down into my lap. One of them is my sister, so she barely counts. The other is Fiona, and I'm not even going to talk about that.
I was watching the news. The fucking news, guys! The way I feel right now, I might as well have been caught watching porn or something. I'm not even doing anything wrong. I'm just fucking sitting here. I was minding my own damn business! Fuck.
"Hi, Daddy!" they both say perfectly at the same time, as if they've practiced this. I wouldn't even put it past them, either.
"Hey," I say, trying to feign disinterest. Pretty fucking hard considering how close Fiona's ass is to my cock, though. "Are you two ready or what?"
"Yup," Emily says. "We are."
Fiona's about to say something, but then she almost slips. I only have so much lap to go around, you know? I reach out and grab Fiona's hip, pulling her back and helping to keep her balanced. This is great and all, but then I realize I'm sitting here, my hand resting on Fiona's hip, while she sits in my lap.
Basically I get an instant erection, which is awkward as fuck considering my sister is on my other knee. I stand up quick and slide them off, then make some bullshit excuse so I can go into the kitchen. They follow me, though.
"Sooo..." Emily says. "What's the plan?"
"I thought we could go out to eat," I tell her. "Somewhere nice. Then we can come back here and watch a movie or play a game or whatever you want. Nothing crazy, just something nice."
"Oh," Emily says, with this weird look on her face.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask her.
"Well... I'd really love to go to Lucca's for Italian food," she says.
"Yeah, I figured, which is why I already made reservations," I tell her.
"But..."
"Uh, but what?" I ask, confused.
There shouldn't be any buts here, though. Lucca's is Emily's favorite restaurant. We've gone there for basically ten of her last twelve birthdays, and a bunch of other random ass special occasions, too. Emily got an A on her math test? Let's go to Lucca's!
"Emily's trying to watch her figure," Fiona chimes in. "It's this new diet she's doing."
"It's not a diet, Fiona," Emily says, rolling her eyes. "It's a lifestyle."
"Whatever it is, it's dumb," Fiona says. "It's just some pasta, Emily."
"Yeah, but I'm going away to school and I need to have good eating habits. I don't know what they're going to have in the college cafeteria. Or what if I have a lot of homework to do for my classes so I can't exercise as much? This is important."
"Listen, I already made the reservations, and it's just one meal before you go away," I say. "I think you can make an exception."
"It's not about that," Emily says. "Obviously we're going to go. It's just that I promised myself that if I wanted to eat something a little unhealthy then I'd exercise first. Which means we have to exercise before we go. Is that alright? Do we have time?"
I look at the microwave clock. It's barely afternoon, so...
"Yeah, we've got plenty of time. Reservations are for four. We have like... three hours. I think we're good. You go do your exercise or whatever and I'll watch TV."
"What? No, you have to exercise, too," Emily says, pouting at me.
Like I've said before, my sister pouting at me has no real effect. She's my sister.
"Yup!" Fiona says. "Please, Daddy?"
Fiona pouts, too. We're not going to talk about this. I'm not going to tell you that my erection was mostly under control after a minute or so in the kitchen, and now it's a completely raging hard-on again. Not even fucking talking about it. No fucking way.
"Fine," I say, because I need them to stop pouting immediately. Mostly Fiona, but if Emily's pouting, Fiona's going to keep it up, too. "What kind of exercise are we doing?"
"Yoga!" Emily says, clapping her hands together and jumping up and down like a little kid. She's my little sister, so I guess it works.
"Why did I let you convince me to get into yoga again?" I ask her.
"Because it's fun?" Emily says. "Duh."
"Because Emily has a crush on one of our instructors," Fiona adds.
"I do not!" Emily screeches at her. "I mean, he's cute, but... he's Daddy's age, so..."
Fiona's cheeks burn bright red. I don't know what that's about. I'm not even going to ask. I'm still trying to keep my throbbing cock under control. I think it's working. I can do this. Willpower.
"I don't think we have time to go to a yoga class right now," I say. "We completely missed the morning one, and the afternoon one isn't until later."
"We're going to have to improvise," Emily says with a devious look on her face.
"Mua ha ha!" Fiona cackles.
"You two aren't the villains in some sort of fucked up spy movie that somehow involves doing yoga," I remind them. "Cut it out."