13 - Fiona
I have a coat, Daddy! I promise I'm still a good girl! That's how I'm going to rationalize this.
I mean, it's February, and it's kind of cold, and Emily and I are wearing dresses that could never ever possibly be called warm, so we have coats. We have them while we wait in line to get into the frat house, at least. I don't even understand the point of a line, because we have masks and everyone in the line has masks, so they should just let us in, right?
But, nope, we need to wait, so we do. And my legs are freezing. Coats are good for a lot of things, but they aren't good for keeping your legs warm.
“We should have worn leggings,” I say, my teeth chattering.
“Gertrude!” Emily says, calling me by the dumb name she made up since we're not supposed to tell anyone our real names at this party. “Leggings would ruin our outfits. I guess we could have put on pantyhose or stockings, but I didn't really think about it.”
“This is probably why we never wear dresses,” I tell her. “Why are dresses so complicated? You know what I like? Pajama pants and sweatshirts. Really big and fluffy ones.”
“You can't wear pajama pants and a sweatshirt to a single's party on Valentine's Day,” Emily says, as if she knows all about what you're supposed to do on Valentine's Day at a single's party.
But, nope, she definitely doesn't! I know that for a fact! You've never been to a Valentine's Day single's party either, Emily!
“Why?” I ask, trying to get her to admit she has no idea.
“Because that's not how you get a boyfriend,” she says.
I know how to get a boyfriend, Emily. I mean, I wore yoga pants for that one, but pajama pants are kind of like loose yoga pants? I would wear pajama pants to yoga, at least. Just maybe not bikram yoga where they keep the room really hot, because that would be way too hot and sweaty. I only like getting that hot and sweaty when I'm with Daddy, and usually we aren't doing yoga then...
We aren't usually wearing pants, either.
Usually. I'll leave that one up to the imagination...
I can't tell Emily any of this, though. Ugh.
“What if I don't want a boyfriend?” I ask her.
“What do you mean you don't want a boyfriend?” she counters. “I bet there's some nice guys like Daddy here. You should talk to them.”
“What wait why?” I stammer. “Um.”
“He's nice, you know?” Emily says with a shrug. “I mean, he's my brother, so if I dated a guy like him, that'd be kind of weird, but you could do it and it'd be fine.”
“Ha!” I say, sort of laughing? “Ha... ha... you're so funny... I can't date Daddy...”
“I guess technically you could?” Emily says, considering it. She purses her lips and quirks them to one side, making a funny face. “Then we'd be like real sisters, huh?”
“Only if Daddy and I got married,” I tell her.
And, oh my gosh, Daddy? Will you marry me? That would be so great. It's a little early and I know that maybe we should take our time, but I'll totally marry the heck out of you. Forever, even.
I don't tell Emily that one, either. I also don't tell Daddy. I don't think I can tell Daddy anything yet. I have my phone and I could text him, but I'm scared.
“Yeah, I don't know if you two could get married,” Emily says, nodding a couple times.
“What? Why not?” I ask, sounding far more offended than I mean to.
“Well, he works a lot, you know?” Emily says, nodding again. “And you're way too cute for him.”
“Daddy's cute,” I counter, mumbling. Daddy's cute, Emily! And handsome and sexy and nice and caring and basically he's the best, so...
“Oooooohhhhh,” Emily says, laughing. “You've got a crush! I've seen the way you look at him. Don't even lie.”
“I do not!” I say, my cheeks burning as red as her dress. She's wearing a coat so thankfully no one can compare the two right now, though.
“Do too.”
“Nope.”
“Yup!”
“Ladies, ladies, ladies,” a guy at the frat house door says, smirking at both of us. “There's more than enough Sigma Epsilon Chi brothers to go around. I'm sure I could find at least three for each of you right now if you're into that kind of thing.”
“What kind of thing?” Emily asks, oblivious.
Seriously, Emily? Even I know what he's talking about. Wow.
“Um, no thanks,” I say, shaking my head. “I'm just here for the candy.”
“We've got plenty of things you can lick and suck on inside,” the frat boy says with a wink.
“Whoa, how did you know there was going to be candy?” Emily asks, still oblivious.
“Alice, it's Valentine's Day,” I say, deadpan. “Really now!”
“Oh, is that an infraction I hear?” the guy asks, grinning.
“Nope!” Emily says, way more excited about this than I think she ought to be. “We made up fake names to call each other.”
“I'm Gertrude tonight, I guess,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“The name isn't sexy, but I'm sure you more than make up for it in every other way,” he says. “I'll be one of your hosts for tonight. You can call me Seventy-Six. All of my frat brothers are going by numbers, which you can use to find us after the party if we catch your interest. We'll be leaving clues all next week about our true identities. Like a scavenger hunt, but one that ends in love and passion.”
Yeah, no. No thank you! Also I just think that's dumb.
You know what nickname I like? Daddy. That's the best one, and it's only for one person, and I'm already in love with him, thank you very much.
“Now if you'll step inside,” Seventy-Six says. “Nine-Two will gladly take your coats for you.”
“Um, what if I want to keep my coat?” I ask, clinging to it.
“No can do,” he says. “Rules are rules. Let's see what you two girls've got. Or should I ask if any of my frat brothers want to frisk you instead? You both look like you could be extra frisky.”
“Nope, not today,” I say, reluctantly unzipping my fluffy and warm coat.
Seventy-Six or whatever his name is opens the door for us and lets us inside. “Good thing it's night time, Gertrude," he says with a wink.
Ugh!
That was kind of a good line, though. I'm not going to fall for it, but it was kind of good. I'm gonna steal it and use it on Daddy sometime.