Declan
I never grew up religious. I knew religion was a thing that people did, but that's about it. Church? It's a place people go to on Sunday or something. Fuck if I know what they do there. Listen to some old dude rant about fire and brimstone, I guess. I heard something about communion wine, but when I asked a friend he said it was just grape juice. Maybe they gave the adults something else.
This was my life until I was sixteen. By that, I mean I hadn't really ever gone to church before then. My mom worked a lot, and I guess we could have gone sometime, but we just never did.
Never, that is, until she remarried.
Madelaine Hamilton was the prettiest girl in school. I'm not even saying that in an "I have a crush on this girl, holy fuck" kind of way. In our senior year, she was unanimously voted the prettiest girl in school. Yeah, even the girls voted for her. Even the second prettiest girl in school, who probably could have voted for herself, because, you know, pretty is kind of subjective sometimes and maybe she thought she was the prettiest instead. Except, no, she voted for Madelaine, too.
What you should also know about Madelaine Hamilton, otherwise known as Maddy, is that she's basically an angel. Besides being the prettiest girl in school, she was probably one of the nicest, she went to church every Sunday, she volunteered to help out at the local animal shelter as often as possible, and I heard she even went on missionary trips during summer break to help out starving kids in Africa or something.
The extent of my involvement with starving kids in Africa was my mom telling me to eat my dinner because there were starving kids in Africa. Yeah, uh... sorry?
So I hope you can imagine my surprise when one day my mom tells me I'm going to have a new dad. I think technically she said father.
"Declan," she says, all nice and sweet. "I've got important news to tell you."
"Mom," I say, because I'm immediately suspicious of what's going on with her being so nice and sweet all of a sudden. "I swear to God I ate all my brussel sprouts last night. If you found them in the trash or something, I have no clue why they were there."
She narrows her eyes at me and opens her mouth to say something, but stops herself for a second. Once she's recomposed and ready again, she decides to just ignore my comment about the brussel sprouts.
"Declan," she says. "I'm getting married. I know it's kind of sudden. They say God works in mysterious ways, though. That's all there is to it."
And I'm just like, "Oh, cool. When?"
Because, you know, what do you even say when your mom tells you that?
"Tomorrow. That's why I wanted to tell you today."
"Uh, what?" I was kind of expecting a few months.
"I'm in love, Declan. I know you're going to love him, too. Charles will be a great father to you. Actually, I think you know his daughter. Madelaine? She's going to be your new sister."
"Wait, uh... are you being serious? Maddy Hamilton is going to be my sister?"
"Mhm! I think this will be really good for you, too. I know it's hard being an only child sometimes, and Maddy will be a great influence on you. She's--"
My mom probably said more, but I was already remembering all of the times that Maddy influenced me, if you know what I mean. Last night, right before I went to bed, when I was thinking about the time I walked behind her in the halls and I swear to God the wind lifted her skirt and I saw a scandalous amount of leg. I'm talking mid to upper thigh here.
Or the time she smiled at me in English class after I read some passage out loud. We were all taking turns reading a paragraph or two of this book, and I took it super seriously, and then, yeah, what do you know, I get a smile from Maddy the Angel. That one smile lasted me at least two months as far as being able to instantly get an erection.
I'm not really sure if you're seeing a pattern here. I was sixteen, and a guy, so there's hormones and stuff going on. Come to think of it, I have no idea how Maddy managed to be sixteen and not have hormones and stuff going on. I guess that's neither here nor there, and then there's God to think about, and maybe the starving kids in Africa had something to do with it? I don't know.
So... that's how that went. My mom married Maddy's dad, and Maddy became my stepsister. If only that were the last of it.