WEEKS WENT BY AND I developed a routine and fell completely in love with my new job. The hours weren’t compatible with Sebastian’s, which meant when he was home, I wasn’t, and when he wasn’t home, I was.
I missed him like crazy, but I knew it was for the best. We’d get a feel for our new schedule soon. Not to mention, absence made the heart grow fonder, and Sebastian was sure to show me how fond his heart was every afternoon when I got home.
Judy only gave me a few clients at first until I was comfortable with the job, but I was already asking for more work. A new probation case came in every day, and every day, I begged for the file making her laugh. Still, we grew to be friends as we worked side by side to help those who’d gotten off track get back in line.
My first client was a girl my age named Vera. She’d been charged with possession, which meant she had to do drug testing constantly. If she tested positive at any point, it was straight to jail for her. She was a nice girl who was dating the wrong guy, but I really felt like the judge made a good move by giving her probation instead of a jail time. Her boyfriend wasn’t that lucky and got three years, which meant she would hopefully clean herself up and realize her worth before he was back on the streets.
She was doing great so far. I met with her once a week for the first thirty days, and her evaluations were easy and straightforward. After thirty days, we’d meet monthly with the exception of random, unannounced drug tests that I was responsible for scheduling.
About a week after my first meeting with Vera, Judy gave me another client.
Kevin Brewer.
Something about Kevin made me feel uncomfortable at first, but after our first few meetings, I began to lighten up around him. Perhaps it was his dark, sinister eyes. Or the tattoos that worked up his arms and over his neck. He reeked of danger, yet somehow, I began to see the man beneath the ink and rap sheet.
“So who’s the guy?” Kevin asked, pointing at the picture of Sebastian and me on my desk.
It was a picture we’d taken while in Jamaica—him in a flowing white shirt and khaki shorts and me in a yellow sundress and a big, floppy hat. We’d just spent the day on the boat and were headed to a seafood dinner on the beach. It was one of my favorite pictures of us.
“My fiancé.” Quickly changing the subject away from me, I asked, “So did you have any issues this week, Kevin?”
He leaned back in his chair, his dark eyes scanning my face. “Nope. I even found a job.”
I clapped my hands together once in excitement. “You did? That’s great, Kevin!”
I could hardly believe how wonderful he was doing considering his list of prior issues.
“Yep. It’s nothing extravagant, but it puts food on the table and helps pay the bills.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “Well, go on then. Tell me all about it.”
We spend the next thirty minutes talking about his new position at a local restaurant. He was waiting tables and washing dishes between rushes, but it seemed to make him happy and gave him a sense of responsibility that I knew was great for him.
Kevin wasn’t a bad guy, even though he was on probation for assault with a deadly weapon.
Apparently, he’d gotten into a fight with a friend of his, and instead of using his fists, he used a bat. How he managed to get probation after such a violent crime and his past criminal history was beyond me, but it wasn’t my job to question the city’s judges. It was my job to make sure that Kevin wasn’t too dangerous to be on the streets. I was to evaluate him and determine if he was a danger to the outside world.
Kevin had a past that left behind a paper trail a mile long. So long, in fact, that I never really read about anything before the age of twenty-five. I didn’t have that kind of time in my life, and I was positive that nothing he did before then could directly affect my ability to evaluate him for the courts.
Nothing he did when he was eighteen would matter.
At least, I hoped it wouldn’t.
I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn’t blow off his past, but I had so many other things on my plate to take care of. My workload was starting to grow, but no matter what, I kept asking for more clients.
“So where was this taken?” He pointed at the picture of Sebastian and me again.
His questions were making me a little uncomfortable, but then he smiled and shook his head.
“Looks like Jamaica. When I was younger, a friend of mine and I went. Oh man, we had the best time. There was this little sand shack on the beach that had the best oysters.”
“You mean Jives?” I asked with excitement.
It was the same place Sebastian and I had eaten that night. We went on and on about how great their food was.
“Yes! That’s the place. It was like heaven in our mouths.”
“Agreed. The best fish, too.”
And then the strangest thing happened.
The evaluation shifted. Kevin and I went from talking about his job, to spending the rest of his appointment time chatting about Jives and how fabulous Jamaica was.
It was weird—making friends with someone with a past like his—but again, I knew people were capable of change. Kevin was a nice guy—regardless of his mean looking exterior. And it was just another time I learned that I couldn’t judge a book by its cover. Even if that cover was decorated in tattoos with a rap sheet a mile long under his belt.
Things were going great at my new job, even though I wasn’t fond of the location. I’d even switched gyms to one within walking distance to my office. The new gym wasn’t as nice as the expensive one close to our condo, but it was more convenient. I could leave work, run over and work out for an hour, and still make it home in time to see Sebastian before he headed down to the club for the night.
Driving across town to my old gym took way too much time. Especially considering the afternoon traffic and craziness. The gym wasn’t the best, but it made more sense. Plus, working out after work relieved all my stress from the day. I’d go home refreshed with a smile on my face having left the day’s troubles on the treadmill.
The only problem with my new situation was I hated lying to Sebastian about where I worked. I hated pretending that I was going to legal aid every day when really I was driving across town to the worst neighborhoods all alone. I knew he’d lose his mind if he knew the truth, and I didn’t want to fight with him. It was a guaranteed way to start Armageddon in the Black household.
Working at the probation office wasn’t the dream job, but I loved doing it. I loved being able to help people and Sebastian wouldn’t see that because he would never get past the location.
After a few weeks, it became more about waiting too long to tell him and less about the lie. He was going to be mad that I lied, but he was going to be furious that I’d lied for over a month.
It was the small lies to cover the big one that were sickening. The fibs about my day in my nice office or lunch at one of the expensive restaurants close to my nice office. I couldn’t very well tell him that I’d eaten at The Pit Stop a few days a week without him or that my office had a bug problem.
It would kill him.
I couldn’t tell him yet.
I wasn’t ready to give up on my job or the people who needed me just yet, so I kept lying. He couldn’t really make me quit, but I hated upsetting him. I hated making him worry when I knew there was no need for it. One day soon, I’d tell him, and once he realized there was nothing to worry about—once he realized I could take care of myself—he’d get on board. At least, I hoped he would.
THROWING THE TOWEL AROUND MY neck, I waited until the treadmill slowed to a stop, freeing me from the torture I’d just put myself through for the last hour. I’d come to hate the gym, but if I wanted to look perfect in my wedding dress, which I still had yet to pick out, I felt it was necessary.
Not to mention, my weekly visits to inhale The Pit Stop’s delicious heart attack goodness was starting to show on my hips.
Sweat dripped from every pore as I made my way toward the locker room to grab my stuff and hit the shower. I had a million things going through my mind. I was starving, exhausted, and all I wanted was to crawl into bed and surround myself with Sebastian.
Stepping into the spray, the hot water coated my skin, washing away the day’s events. While I loved doing my job, the paperwork was daunting. I spent more time writing out the evaluations than I spent actually doing the evaluations.
Some days, I had to visit my clients in their homes—I had to see how they lived and even visit with their friends and family. They weren’t in the best shape financially, and I hated to see so many people suffer.
I knew that kind of suffering.
I knew what it was like not knowing if you could feed the people you were responsible for or if you could keep a shelter over their head and clothes on their back. Kyle and I were in the same shoes as some of the people I meet on a daily basis not that long ago.
I felt for these people unlike some of my co-workers who looked down on them as if they weren’t worth the time. I didn’t understand what made them want to work in this field if they couldn’t find the compassion to at least try to understand what some of the families we met were going through.
Seeing these families made me want to work harder to help them—to help my clients better themselves so they could provide for the ones they loved or just for themselves for that matter. To show them there was light at the end of the tunnel and all they needed was a helping hand to get them there.
Turning off the water, I dried off and got dressed as quickly as I could. I didn’t usually stay so late at the gym, but I’d gotten out of work almost an hour later than normal. I contemplated skipping the gym altogether but decided against it since I’d added a milkshake to my order during lunch.
Walking to my car, I noticed how vacant the parking garage was now compared to an hour before when I’d run out to my car to get my gym bag. I tried not to let my mind wander, but it was hard not to jump at every sound that echoed throughout the garage.
I was only a few feet away from my car when I started searching through my workout bag for my keys. I’d been too distracted by my own thoughts to remember to pull them out before I left the gym.
I breathed a sigh of relief when my fingers brushed the uneven edges of my car keys. I pulled them out just as I reached the door and the jingle they made was music to my ears. I hit the unlock button on the remote but nothing happened. Panicking now because I swore I’d heard footsteps behind me, I pushed the button three more times before I realized why it wasn’t unlocking. I cursed myself for not getting it fixed like Sebastian had told me to.
A week before, I’d mentioned to Sebastian that my remote wasn’t working. He was busy with the club and the restaurant remodel, so he’d told me to have Martin take care of it, but I was too busy with work and the gym and everything else to think about even mentioning it to Martin. I was kicking myself now that I felt like someone was right behind me.
The footsteps were getting louder, and my hands shook uncontrollably as I felt completely paralyzed. I was afraid to move, afraid to look behind me. The footsteps couldn’t be more than a few inches behind me, so I waited, holding my breath.
Seconds later, the footsteps were walking past me and I was able to look in the direction they were coming from. An older man smiled and gave me a small nod.
“Good evening,” he said, walking past my car toward his parked two cars down.
“You, too,” I managed to get out lamely before he was out of earshot.
My unwarranted fear was like a splash of cold water as I realized I had nothing to fear at all. I took a deep breath and leaned against my car. Laughter bubbled up from my chest as I couldn’t help but laugh at myself.
My heart was still pounding loudly in my ears, but I managed to get the key in the door and unlocked. I climbed in and locked the door for peace of mind. I felt silly now for being afraid of nothing. I’d been using this parking garage now for weeks and had no reason to be uneasy.
I knew my thoughts had put me on edge, and I made a note not to let that happen again. Lifting my gym bag from my lap, I threw it in the back. The gruff sound startled me and I twisted to turn around but was stopped short.
“Ah-ah, sweetheart.” His voice sent chills down my spine, but I didn’t move a muscle. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep looking straight ahead.”
I watched as the man who had scared me earlier drove past my car. My mind raced quickly. If I were fast enough, maybe I could get out of the car before the man in the backseat could comprehend what I was doing. I could run toward the car, wave him down for help or I could, at least, run back to the gym.
“Whatever you’re thinking in that pretty little head of yours, you can forget it.” His voice was low, unrecognizable. “Put your hands on the steering wheel,” he demanded. “Slowly.”
I lifted my hands, letting him see they were empty, before wrapping my fingers around the leather wheel.
His body shifted, and I could feel his legs pushing against the back of my seat. He was tall enough that he barely fit in my small backseat.
“What do you want?” I was surprised at how calm my voice was.
“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”
“Money? You want money?”
“Do you have money to give me?”
He was playing with me.
I could tell by his tone.
So I didn’t answer.
“I didn’t think so. So I guess we’re back to the question- what do I want?”
I gasped, unable to help it when I felt cold, sharp metal moving down my arm.
A knife.
I didn’t have to look to know what it was, and I hated that I gave him a reaction. My stomach turned, nausea burning my chest as I fought to hold back giving him any further reaction.
“I’m not a mind reader,” I snapped. “Are you going to tell me?”
I felt the tip of the blade move through my hair, pushing it to the side. I didn’t make a sound.
“You’re so feisty. I can see why he likes you so much.”
His words made me swallow hard and my heart skip a beat.
“He who?”
“Whoever is keeping your bed warm at night, sweetheart.”
I slowly let out the breath I’d been holding. He was still playing with me, trying to unnerve me, and I was stupidly letting him.
“Do you plan to use that on me?”
He shifted the knife through my hair again, sending chills along my skin.
“Is that something you’re into?”
“No. You?”
If I could keep him distracted long enough, I could figure out how I was going to get out of my car alive.
My mind went over a plan.
If only I could get to my gun, then maybe I’d have a chance. But that wasn’t going to work. My gun was in my purse, and my purse was in my gym bag, which was in the backseat somewhere with him. The thought made me want to throw up, but I was not going to die tonight. I just needed to keep him talking until someone else walked through the parking garage.
“I think you’d be terrified if you knew the things I was into, sweetheart.”
“Like sneaking into an unsuspecting woman’s car while she’s in the gym?”
“Yes. Exactly like that.”
I didn’t know how I had expected him to answer, but I wasn’t surprised by the fact that it didn’t give me any comfort. I couldn’t read this man. I tried to tell myself that if he were going to kill me, he probably would have already, but I didn’t quite believe that.
“I’ll fight you,” I whispered. “I won’t make whatever you’re going to do to me easy.”
He was quiet for a second. “It wouldn’t be any fun if you just gave me what I wanted.”
“My boyfriend is going to come looking for me. I’m already late.”
That wasn’t a complete lie.
I was late.
But Sebastian would have no idea where to look for me, and that was my fault.
I wanted to see his face more than anything. I should have been honest. I shouldn’t have lied to the man I love. No job was worth it.
“Will he?”
“Yes, and I promise you, he’ll kill you if he finds you.”
He chuckled. “What man wouldn’t kill for the woman he loves?”
I ignored that.
“If you leave now, there’s no harm done. All you’ve managed to do is scare me a little.”
I didn’t want to admit that to him, but maybe if he knew he’d done what he’d set out to do, he’d leave.
“I’ve scared you?”
“Yes. Isn’t that what you’re trying to do?”
“Maybe. Maybe I’m not finish scaring you.”
“I won’t tell anyone. There’s nothing to tell. I don’t know who you are, and I haven’t seen your face.”
“Would you like to know how our paths crossed? How our fates collided?”
“No,” I whispered.
I could feel the tears beginning to burn the back of my eyelids, but I forced myself not to cry. He was talking like a crazy person, and it was starting to seem like a real possibility that this man could kill me.
“Wouldn’t you, at least, like to know who I am? I’m here holding a blade to you, which could kill you at any second. Wouldn’t it be nice to at least know your killer?”
“No. Please. Just go.” A single tear escaped and rushed down my cheek.
Again, he chuckled. “Well, I’ll tell you anyway.” He leaned closer, his hot breath moving the wisps of hair beside my ear. “They call me the boogeyman, sweetheart, and I’m your worst nightmare.”
And then there was silence.
The only sounds were my breathing, my pounding heartbeat in my ears, and the sounds of night surrounding me, calming me.
I pressed my palm to my chest to try to slow my racing heart. It felt as if it were seconds away from jumping out of my chest.
I looked in the rearview mirror, but I only saw darkness. I was afraid to move, so I sat as still as I could for the next few minutes. Cool air swept across my arm prompting me to finally brave the unknown.
I turned in my seat, my eyes finding my empty back seat.
He was gone, leaving my back door wide open and letting the darkness of the night hide his existence.
I’d been held up with a knife, yet he didn’t take anything or hurt me.
It didn’t make any sense.
But I knew one thing … Sebastian could never know.
Never.
THE NEXT DAY, I WAS jumpy. Gasping and twitching at every noise. Stopping by my favorite café, I ordered a coffee and sat on a bench out front to collect my thoughts. Looking off into the distance, I sipped the sweet brew as I watched the people of New York go about their daily routines.
“Rosslyn?”
I jumped at the sound of a male voice, and my head snapped up. I wiped at my tears feeling ridiculous for being caught crying.
“Kevin,” I said with relief. “Fancy meeting you here.” I smiled, trying to hide the fact that I was a mess.
It wasn’t professional to be on a first-name basis with your clients, but over the last few meetings, we’d grown as friends—socializing and talking about all the things he could do to better himself.
It was weird seeing him outside my office, but I couldn’t lie to myself; I needed the distraction.
His brows pulled down in sadness as his eyes scanned my face.
“Everything okay?”
I waved away his question and smiled.
“I’m sorry. My mind is a million miles away right now.”
“I can see that. Are you okay?”
I sighed and rubbed at my forehead in embarrassment. “Not really.”
“Want to talk about it?”
He was such a nice guy—understanding and friendly. What could it hurt to open up to someone other than Sebastian or Trish?
I nodded and sipped at my coffee again.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked as he motioned to the empty space on the bench next to me.
“Of course,” I said, sliding down the bench and making room for his large form.
“Rough day?”
I laughed, but it was humorless. “It’s actually been a rough twenty-four hours.”
“It might help to talk about it. I’m no therapist, and I’m not entirely sure I’m a very good listener, but I’m the only one here.”
He laughed, and while his words weren’t meant to comfort me, they did. I even managed to laugh a little.
I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I was attacked last night.”
His eyes widened, and his mouth popped open in surprise.
“What? Oh my God, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I assured him. “He didn’t actually hurt me. He just scared me. I don’t think he had any intention of hurting me really.”
“Did you get a good look at the guy?”
I shook my head. “No. He was waiting for me in my car. He was in the backseat.”
“What did he say?”
I didn’t want to repeat it. “Just a bunch of nonsense. He was just trying to scare me.”
“It sounds like it.” He rested his hands on his knees and shook his head in disbelief. “Have you gone to the police?”
“No, and I don’t intend to.”
If I went to the police, then Sebastian would find out. That was the last thing I wanted. So no, there would be no police involvement.
I doubted it would happen again, but I made sure I was more prepared when I entered the garage now. I held my gun in my hand inside my purse. I’d learned my lesson. No one would ever catch me by surprise like that again.
“Why not?”
“Well, because he didn’t do anything to me.” I made excuses. “And plus … well, it’s kind of complicated.”
“Complicated?”
“Yes, complicated.”
I didn’t elaborate.
I didn’t know Kevin well enough to get into a discussion about my relationship with Sebastian or the lie and secrets I was keeping.
“I know I don’t know you very well, but it takes a tough person to do a job like yours.” He bumped his shoulder against mine in encouragement. “I think if you can handle working with criminals every day, you can handle this.”
I smiled at him.
His words were kind and encouraging and honestly, exactly what I needed to hear. I knew if I had gotten up the courage to tell Sebastian about the attack, his reaction would have been the exact opposite. And I couldn’t handle that at the moment.
“Thank you, Kevin. Believe it or not, that’s exactly what I needed to hear right now.”
He smiled. “Good. I’m glad I could help.”
“You did, very much. Thank you.”
“Anytime. No more crying, okay?”
I nodded. “No more crying.”
And for the rest of the day, I didn’t shed another tear.