HER WORDS BOUNCED AROUND MY brain briefly before hitting the sensors that made me understand. Everything ceased. The moment stopped completely. Surely, I’d heard her wrong.
“What did you just say?”
She chewed her bottom lip, obviously nervous. I looked down, taking in her body and the new round curves she’d acquired over the last few weeks.
“Um … I’m going to have a baby? I’m not really sure how else to say it.”
Still, her words only chipped away at my foggy brain. Two words played on repeat shocking me with each pass through my mind.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Rosslyn was pregnant with my child. The woman in front of me was full of my child. It was growing inside of her—tiny and needing someone to care for it. Needing her to stay safe and healthy so it could stay safe and healthy.
I was going to be a father. I’d never had a father. The closest thing I’d ever had to a parent was Clive.
What did fathers do?
Could I be a father?
Would I be a good father?
Father.
Father.
I was going to be someone’s father.
Rosslyn reached up and cupped my cheeks, her warm skin knocking me back into the moment.
“Breathe, Sebastian,” she said, her beautiful face coming in clearly. “Are you okay? You’re so pale.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead, tears rushed to my eyes, leaping from my lashes and running down my cheeks.
“You’re pregnant?”
Her smile was soft as she reached down, cupped her small stomach, and nodded.
My fingertips grazed her soft skin feeling the hardness of the tiny round pooch that was forming. Suddenly, I remembered how rough I’d been during sex. I’d fucked her so hard. Pulling and pushing her over and beyond.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, seeing what I was sure was a panicked expression on my face.
“Did I hurt you? During sex, I mean. Was I too hard?”
Her face had cleared before she burst into laughter.
I sat there, staring at her reaction and remembering all the things I’d done and said in the last few weeks. I was terrible to her, and the whole time she had been walking around growing my baby.
My son.
My daughter.
My child.
I’d live for this child.
Breathe for this child.
This child would never feel left alone—neglected. He or she would know what it felt like to have a good father in their life. This child would have a mother and father who loved it. This child would have the family I’d dreamed of my entire life.
“I’m serious, Rosslyn. I don’t know anything about this kind of thing. Did I …” The words got stuck in my throat. “Did I hurt it?”
Her laughter died and her face cleared. “You’re serious?”
I nodded, feeling more panicked than I had in my entire life.
She reached out and touched my face; her smile was radiant and beautiful.
How had I not noticed her amazing glow before now?
She was Mother Nature—she was the ultimate thing of beauty—carrying life within her. I’d never seen anything like it.
“The baby’s fine, Sebastian. You didn’t hurt it or me.”
I breathed, feeling as though it was the first time I had in days.
“You’re going to have a baby?” I asked.
I knew what she was saying. I wasn’t a total idiot. I just needed to hear it once more.
She nodded, her smile growing. “We’re going to have a baby.”
I pulled her to me and held her tight. More than ever, I had to find the person behind the letters. I had to find him, and I had to get rid of him.
For Rosslyn.
For our unborn baby.
“I love you so much, Rosslyn. I’m going to make everything okay. I’m going to fix this.”
She snuggled into my embrace and giggled. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Right now. At this moment. Everything is perfect.”
She had no idea, and I’d make sure she never knew. She didn’t need that kind of stress. She needed to stay healthy and happy. I’d make sure nothing touched her mentally or physically. I’d die before it happened.