A WEEK WENT BY AND time fucking stopped. I went through the motions of life—manning the club and signing paperwork—all the bullshit that came with the territory, but I felt crazy. Nothing was happening. I couldn’t find the person behind the letters, which meant I couldn’t go near Rosslyn. It was a slow death. A gruesome death. I fucking hated it.
I stayed away from the restaurant and let the employees run the show. Mac was responsible for bringing all paperwork to my office even though I had an office set up at Jessica’s, as well. I didn’t know why, but it felt wrong to be there without Rosslyn by my side. I’d opened the place for her—for us—and her not being there was making me insane.
But business moved forward as usual, and as much as I hated it, I had to take a trip to Jessica’s and to check the progress. I stood outside the restaurant looking up at the neon sign. The name Jessica’s shone back at me in cursive red neon making me feel sad and happy all at the same time. Sad because Rosslyn wasn’t here to see the place I’d built for her, and happy because the place was booming with a line out the door.
The restaurant had been open a week, and this was the first time I’d been back since the grand opening. Being there without Rosslyn was harder than I thought it was going to be. Doing anything these days without Rosslyn was harder than I’d imagined.
I wasn’t sleeping—not that I slept a ton to start with—but at least with Rosslyn, I’d get in a few hours here and there. Now, I’d lay awake and stare at the ceiling until I’d finally get up, take a shower, and do it all over again.
Also, I was finding it hard to eat. Food had no flavor anymore, and my favorite scotch was the only thing filling my stomach. I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her. I had to do it for her—for us—for just a little bit longer.
Giving her up, even for only a little while, was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but this was pushing the limit of impossible. I missed her with every breath I took, and the pain was nearly unbearable.
Some nights, I woke up reaching for her only to find her gone. I’d pull her pillow to my face and try to remember the smell of her skin. I was losing those memories—losing the things that kept her alive in my mind every second she was away from me.
Waking up and going about my day was torture, and if it weren’t for the fact that her life was in danger, I wouldn’t have lasted five minutes after leaving her in the bridal store. I shook away the memory of her standing in her wedding dress, her black tears ruining the sequined top, and made my way through the doors of the restaurant.
It was busy and that was thrilling. In many ways, I felt as though I’d brought a child into the world, and seeing that child do well was fulfilling. Even if Rosslyn wasn’t there to see the place thrive, I knew one day she would be, even if I wasn’t with her when that happened.
“Mr. Black,” Phillip, the restaurant manager, greeted me looking completely shocked to see me here. “Good evening.” He recovered quickly. “It’s so nice to see you here tonight. I didn’t know you were coming by.”
His nervous demeanor made me suspicious. I was in no mood to find any foul play going on in my newest establishment. The thought of having to hire another manager and train him wasn’t appealing. As it was, I almost didn’t hire Phillip in time. Going through resumes and the extreme background checks I pulled was so time-consuming.
Phillip was a nice guy. I’d hired him on the spot after a day of interviews with shady-ass wannabe chefs. He wasn’t the most qualified, but after looking over his background check and resume, I could tell he was a man who knew how to take charge.
He was short and muscled, but still had the energy to move quickly and keep the momentum for the team working beneath him. His alert brown eyes stayed on me unblinkingly, which told me he wasn’t hiding anything. Any man who could look you in the eye without blinking was comfortable and secure with himself. And that was what I needed.
Security.
I needed to know that when I left my post, my manager could keep the flow steady. I needed to know he could take care of things when I wasn’t around.
The ladies found him attractive, but since I was positive the ladies had nothing he wanted hanging between their thighs, I didn’t have to worry about him fucking my waitresses. I wasn’t sexist, but ladies tended to make better waitresses, as far as I was concerned. It wasn’t that I wouldn’t hire a male waiter; I just didn’t have the chance to interview many.
So Phillip wasn’t a shady guy, which was why his tense shoulders and tight smile made me worry.
“Phillip.” My tone alerted him that I was onto him and he swallowed hard. “How’s everything going tonight?”
“Perfect! Absolutely perfect. We have a full house, as you can see.” He waved his arm in the direction of the floor, and as he said, there wasn’t an empty table in the place.
“Give me a rundown,” I requested, making my way around the restaurant toward the back.
I knew if I took the long way, I would be spared the praise and pointless greetings of the customers I knew and didn’t know. I wasn’t in any mood to be the polite and courteous Sebastian Black tonight.
“We’re booked solid for the next six months. The reservations come in by the hour,” he began, following close behind me.
“Are you making sure to save tables for walk-ins? I don’t want the reservations to take over the entire restaurant.”
“Of course, Mr. Black. The wait staff is amazing at turning over tables for the customers who are lined up outside the minute we open.”
“Good. How’s Ricky doing?”
Ricky, the new head chef, was one of the best in New York City. I’d won him over with a full benefits package and an extra zero on the end of his yearly salary. The man cooked chicken to perfection and knew how I wanted my steak without having to ask.
“Oh, superb! The food is nothing short of heavenly, and the guests have only the best to say about our chef.”
“Good.”
I had expected nothing less of Ricky Alexander. His name was whispered in all the overpriced restaurants I’d dined at over the years. And while he’d cost a small fortune to employ, I knew he’d be great for my return. I spared no expense for this new endeavor, which meant only the best would be working under its roof.
“Numbers?” I asked, turning and leaving Phillip to follow.
“They’ve by far exceeded your expectation, Mr. Black. We’re doing almost triple from the original numbers you gave me for the opening month.” He sounded very pleased with that.
“Is the bar included?”
“Oh no, sir. The bar puts us over the top by almost thirty percent just in the week we’ve been open.”
The numbers for Jessica’s were more than any business owner could hope for in their opening week, but there would be no celebrating on my end. I listened to Phillip rattle on about other things he thought I should know about. Everything seemed to be running smoothly and I was confident I could stay away unless something desperately needed my attention here.
I stopped before we got to the kitchen and turned to face Phillip. Again, he had that nervous twitch around his eyes as he kept his view on the kitchen doors behind me.
“It sounds like you have everything under control here, Phillip. Not that I doubted you would. I only hire the best.” I made sure to lay it on thick and watched as the guilt made sweat bead around his forehead.
“Thank you, Mr. Black.”
“I’m going to make my way through the kitchen and then I have some papers I need from the office.”
“Yes, Mr. Black.”
I pushed open the swinging door and paused, giving him one more chance to come clean.
“Before I go in, is there anything I need to know, Phillip? Anything at all?”
I watched as the debate inside his head wreaked havoc on his facial expression. His thin, pale lips parted, but before he could say anything, I heard her voice. For a second, I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, but when her voice filtered through the hustle of the kitchen even louder, I knew they weren’t.
“What the …”
I pushed my way through the double doors and halted in place. I didn’t know what I expected to see, but Rosslyn standing there calling out orders and table numbers was not it.
“What’s she doing here?” I said for Phillip’s ears only.
“She’s been here every day following the opening, Mr. Black.”
“What?” My shock was genuine. “Why the hell didn’t anyone tell me?”
“I tried, Mr. Black, but-”
“You should have tried harder,” I hissed.
Rosslyn’s back was to me, so she wasn’t aware I was there yet, and that gave me all the time I needed to take in the sight of her. Her red hair shined under the kitchen lights, and she had it pulled up revealing her long, elegant neck.
She was dressed in a sleek black dress that hugged every curve. And the back dipped low, showing off the line of her spine perfectly. My mouth watered as I remembered kissing her from the back of her neck and down, making her squirm and whimper.
Stockings covered her long, shapely legs and simple red heels shaped her calves in a way that reminded me what they felt like wrapped tightly around my waist. Her hair was pinned flawlessly in a bun at the top of her head with not a strand out of place.
She looked like heaven, and all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and never let her go. I stood there, watching as she directed the kitchen crew with the dominance I knew and loved so well, and even though I tried to wipe it away instantly, a smile tugged at the corner of my lips. Seeing her there, in her rightful place, working the business I’d started for us, was almost too much.
I swallowed my emotions and cleared my throat.
My presence caused the kitchen staff to slow their motions and take notice of me. It felt like everything was suddenly moving in slow motion as glances moved back and forth between Rosslyn and me.
She’d been reading off an order when she finally noticed the standstill of employees around her. She turned to follow their stares and her confused expression became one of shock. It only lasted a second before she became all business again.
“These orders aren’t going to make themselves,” she said in a tone I’d never heard before.
A series of Yes, Ms. Harris’s filtered through the room as the staff became a well-oiled machine again. Hearing them call her Ms. Harris and not Mrs. Black was like a blow to the gut.
I didn’t like it.
No.
I fucking hated it.
She was Mrs. Black, dammit. She was born to be Mrs. Black.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, my voice cutting through the busy space sounding much meaner than I had intended.
“Working.” She shrugged, and finally a strand of rich, red hair fell from her perfect bun.
“We have a staff. You don’t need to be here.”
“I’m the owner, remember? Plus, I want to be here.”
“Part owner,” I corrected her. “I own half this place, too.”
I moved farther into the room, taking in the watchful stares of the staff around us. It was if they were waiting for us to explode. The tension between Rosslyn and me was palpable, as if you could reach out and pluck it from the steamy air we were breathing.
“I must have forgotten seeing as how you haven’t been here since the place opened.”
She was being bitchy, and it was the sexiest fucking thing ever.
Her tight dress.
Those red sex kitten heels.
Fuck!
I wanted to throw her over the nearest countertop and fuck her senseless.
“We haven’t made it official. The paperwork hasn’t been signed.”
“I signed it a week ago, Mr. Black. Would you like to see it?”
My jaw twitched.
Mr. Black.
When she called me that, it turned me into a madman and she fucking well knew it.
“Yes,” I gritted.
My teeth ached, my jaw stiff with tension. She turned away and my eyes moved over her plump ass. I wasn’t sure if my eyes were playing tricks on me or if I’d really just gone too long without touching her, but Rosslyn looking thicker in some places—heartier. I wanted to reach out and grab a handful of her voluptuous ass.
“Fine. I’ll be right back,” she told Ricky and then walked right past me and through the doors.
She didn’t wait for me and I was entirely aware of the fact that she’d made sure she didn’t touch me.
I made my way toward the office she already occupied. She picked up a packet of papers off the desk and turned, stopping short when I filled the doorway. A look of uncertainty collected around her eyes and I wondered what it meant.
“You didn’t have to follow me. I would have brought them to you.”
With my foot, I reached behind me and shut the door. The sound was loud inside the room, and Rosslyn swallowed hard.
“I don’t think the entire restaurant should be privy to our personal affairs, do you?”
Her entire body stiffened at my words. “You and I no longer have personal affairs, Mr. Black. This is business and nothing more.”
Hearing her call me Mr. Black without the usual sensual, teasing tone was like nails on a chalkboard.
“Stop calling me that, Rosslyn.”
“No,” she said without hesitation. “Here.” She shoved the papers in my directions. “They’re completely legit as you know since you had your lawyer draw them up. This is your copy. If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to the kitchen.”
She tried to sidestep me, but I made that physically impossible.
“What are you doing here, Rosslyn?”
“I told you … working.”
“Why?”
She wouldn’t look me in the eye, and it was pissing me off. I wanted to see those mossy eyes all over me. I wanted it more than my next breath.
“Because you made me quit my job before dumping me, and now that they’ve replaced me, I decided I’d work here. What do you care? You have your club. You don’t care about this place.”
“You’re wrong, Rosslyn.” I made sure she caught the deeper meaning of my words.
“Whatever you say, Mr. Black.”
In a quick series of motions between my body and hers, I had her pinned against the office door.
“I told you to stop calling me that.”
“You never minded it before,” she spat.
“That’s because I was usually fucking your brains out.”
“Yeah, well, you know how it feels then.” She tilted her head in my direction, but she still wasn’t looking at me.
“How what feels?”
“You called me Jessica.”
She said it like it was an insult.
It wasn’t.
Not even close.
“You’ve always loved it when I called you Jessica.”
“Like you said, that’s because you were usually fucking my brains out.”
Fuck!
All I could think about was fucking her now.
Over the desk.
On the floor.
Wherever I could get her.
I wanted her.
Finally, she looked at me. She stared at me for the longest time, and I hated how lost she looked. I understood that look because I felt lost as hell, too.
“What are you doing, Sebastian?” Hearing her say my name was bittersweet.
I didn’t have an answer for her. I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I shouldn’t have been talking to her. I shouldn’t be looking at her like I was seconds away from taking her in my arms and losing myself in the sweetness of her mouth. I needed to stay away, but it was so fucking hard. I was so fucking hard.
I was supposed to be keeping my distance. I needed her to think we were over, and I needed whoever was keeping close tabs on us to think the same. That wasn’t going to work if I was trapping her in rooms and holding her close enough to feel the softness of her breasts against my chest every time she drew in a breath.
With every ounce of willpower I owned, I took a step back and released us both from the temptation. I couldn’t keep doing this to her every time we were in a room together. I was only going to confuse her, and that wouldn’t help keep her distance from me.
“I’m sorry.” The words burned across my tongue with so much meaning.
I was sorry I couldn’t touch her. I was sorry I had touched her. I was sorry I couldn’t protect her. I was sorry for every fucking thing.
“For what?”
I was sorry for every fucking thing, but I couldn’t tell her that.
“I think it’s good that you’re here. This place needs you.”
I need you.
Her expression softened, and her green eyes moved over my face. I loved it when she looked at me, but if she were really looking, she’d see how fucking miserable I was.
“And what about you? Doesn’t this place need you, too, Sebastian?”
Her eyes searched mine, and I could see the words she didn’t say.
“No,” I told her firmly. “I have the club, and that’s all I need. This place was just something to pass the time.”
The hurt in her eyes was like a thousand knives to my gut. I wanted to take her in my arms, to comfort and take away all the pain I was causing her, but I couldn’t and that killed me.
“Good-bye, Sebastian.”
She was out the door before I could respond, and I didn’t try to stop her. No matter what I wanted, it had to be this way.