HIS KISS FELT DIFFERENT. IT was soft, like a first kiss. It was nice. The one thing I could say about Sebastian, he was fantastic kisser—not that I had much to go on.
He pulled back and I felt his stare even with my eyes closed. I was still humming inside from his kiss when he spoke.
“What are these?” he asked.
“It’s paperwork for a technical college. I was thinking of taking some online classes.”
It was a quick decision when I’d gotten up that morning and had nothing to do. I’d always been obsessed with forensics and dreamed of a career in that field. Online classes would be something I could spend time on and it would be pushing me in a better direction financially. I was excited to do something for myself—something that could benefit my future.
“I didn’t know you were interested in going to school.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, it’s a smart choice. I don’t expect you to be my sexual benefactor forever. I need to be able to take care of myself. That means getting a degree and getting a job.”
“You don’t need to work. I’ll take care of you.”
“Come on, Sebastian. We both know this isn’t going to last forever. You’ve already made it clear that you don’t do love, and I’ve made it perfectly clear that I do. Plus, this isn’t what I want. I don’t want you to take care of me. I want to be able to take care of myself.”
He looked down at the paperwork and made a face a few at the pictures from a crime scene.
“What the hell is this?” he asked.
“Those are the classes I’ll look into once I do two years at the technical college. I want to get into forensics and help solve crimes.”
He looked at me like I was crazy, and I couldn’t help but giggle a little.
“What made you want to get into this?”
I didn’t want to answer. Twelve years later and my parents’ death was still a touchy subject. Probably because I never got closure. I wanted to make sure no other family had to go through that.
“The same thing that started my fear of guns,” I answered.
“Someone you knew was shot?”
“Yes.”
“Were you there?”
“No, but I’m the one that found her. They never caught her killer. I want to try to make a difference.”
He didn’t push anymore, which was one of the things I loved the most about Sebastian.
“If you think that’s what you need to do. As long as it doesn’t interfere with my time,” his cocky smile made his dimples pop.
He was definitely being different since we’d slept together, but I didn’t say anything about it. His smile was too sweet—I didn’t want to ruin it. I’d probably never get over how sexy he was, and after giving myself over to him so completely I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“Your time? Seriously?”
“Yes, my time. When I want you, I want you. I don’t like to wait.”
I couldn’t help myself. I giggled so hard my stomach hurt.
“Are you laughing at me?”
I liked how playful he was being. It made him seem like a normal everyday guy.
“Yes,” I chuckled. “Sir, yes sir!” I playfully saluted him.
“Go ahead and laugh,” he moved closer. “It doesn’t matter because this belongs to me,” he said, reaching down between my legs.
And just like that, the laughter stopped. I didn’t like his tone, and hated that he was more right than he realized.
I smacked his hand away. “I belong to no one.”
Pulling me to him, he leaned down and ran his nose up the side of my neck, before planting a soft kiss beneath my ear.
“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart. I licked it, so it’s mine. “
And then, he was kissing me. I wanted to push him away, and I wanted to pull him closer. His hands made their way down my hips and grabbed me, lifting me up as he pressed his body into mine. He was promising me another night like the one before.
He broke away. “How about taking a tour of your bedroom?” His voice dropped before he leaned down and took my mouth again.
I didn’t hold back, kissing him with all I had. With his hands cupping my face, he walked me backward, until my ass hit the door. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed into me and I broke the kiss and moaned with closed eyes.
He pushed the door open and we stumbled into my room, surrounded by all of my things. I’d cried happy tears when I first saw how organized my personal items had been, and now the place was home. That was something I’d always be thankful for when it came to Sebastian. He was an asshole, but he’d given me a home when I didn’t have one.
He pulled back and worked his way down the side of my neck. Stubble scratched against my skin and I lost my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. I enjoyed the difference in him. He was like Jekyll and Hyde. It was amazing what sex could do to a man.
“It’s going to be good. I promise I’ll make it good for you,” he said as he nipped at my chin.
I had no doubt about that. I’d learned a few days before, Sebastian knew exactly what he was doing. Laying me back on my bed, he followed me down, pressing me into my mattress.
Cool air brushed my stomach as he lifted my shirt. His heated touch scorched my skin and a hiss sounded from between my teeth.
Who was I?
I didn’t feel like the old me at all anymore. I hadn’t since he’d brought me to life on the couch in his office. It was like he was turning me into some carefree person, and I was all about everything he’d done so far. Lifting from the bed, he pulled my shirt off and smiled when my red bra was revealed.
“I like this,” he said as he slid a finger in the cup, running his finger across my hardened nipple.
“Of course you do, you picked it out.” I arched my back and whimpered.
“You’re so responsive to my touch.” He nuzzled in my cleavage. “I never want to stop touching you.”
He bit my nipple through the bra and I was gone. I latched on to his shoulders and closed my eyes as his hand worked its way down my side, to the top of my jeans. My stomach sucked in from his touch, allowing him to slip his hand past my button and into my jeans. And then he was touching me through my panties.
It felt so good. I lifted my hips when he took his hand away. He pulled my zipper down and peeled my jeans from my hips. His fingertips felt rough against the skin inside my thighs. I opened wider once my jeans were on the floor.
“I can’t wait another second to be inside you.”
His lips brushed the inside of my leg and then he was rolling my panties down my legs.
He sucked the soft skin on the inside of my leg. His hot breath skimmed my wetness, warming me and making me ache even more. And then he was on top of me, staring down at me with his usual cocky grin. I could hardly wait to feel him.
I reached up, running my fingers through his hair and brushing the back of my fingertips down the back of his neck and kissing him softly on the corner of his mouth.
His expression changed and his body stiffened above me
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“What do you mean? I’m kissing you.”
I was confused. I wasn’t sure how to answer his question. It was obvious what we were doing, and if he didn’t know, then I was obviously doing it wrong.
“This isn’t romance, Jessica. Stop looking at me like that. Don’t touch me sweetly. Be rough. This is fucking. That’s all. It’s not love. It’ll never be love.”
I stared at him. My heart tore in half, all of my feelings toward him spilling out, and pooling in a painful puddle in my stomach.
And then he leaned up, backing away from me. He grabbed my thighs roughly, flipping me onto my stomach.
Pulling my hips up to him, I instinctively followed and propped up on my hands. He pushed hard against me. “I’m going to fuck you so hard.”
His words stung, and I didn’t know how to react. I was still reeling from his other comments. Stunned into silence, I stared at the sheets below me.
Sebastian meant what he said, he was going to fuck me hard. My chest and the side of my head were suddenly pushed into the mattress, as he simultaneously pressed into me and pulled my arms tightly behind my back.
It was rough, and it actually felt good. However, I couldn’t help but think that it would feel better if my heart wasn’t dying a slow death. I just wished he would stop pushing me away. We obviously had a connection and I felt sorry for him and his inability to fully bond with another human being.
“You act sweet, but you’re really a naughty girl aren’t you, Jessica?” His body was leaning over me, allowing him to go deeper. “Tell me how dirty you are.” His mouth brushed against my ear.
I couldn’t answer. I wasn’t emotionally present. It did feel amazing, his smooth arousal spreading me open, filling me. But I didn’t want to reward his behavior from earlier, so I gave him nothing.
He realized I wasn’t going to play along. Leaning back, he gripped my hips almost painfully, and started to move fast and hard. Out of nowhere, his palm landed hard against my ass. The loud smack rang throughout the room, and my ass stung badly before he rubbed it away with his warm palm.
“Fuck me,” he rasped. “I can’t get enough of your body.”
His hands latched onto my breasts and he pulled me up, so that my back was pressed firmly against his front. His fingers plucked at my nipples before moving down over my stomach and between my legs. The pad of his finger rubbed sweet circles over my throbbing bud and it was all I could take.
Against my will, I called out. “Sebastian…”
My body shook against his, and I was coming, his hips continuing to work me. My body went limp and I fell forward. He held my hips in the air and continued on his mission for an orgasm.
Thrusting only a few more times, he pulled out, and came all over my ass. It was hot and dripping down my cheek. He spread the come around my ass with his tip, while milking his cock dry.
Letting his body fall next to mine with a huff, I quickly turned on my side, giving him my back. I couldn’t process my feelings and didn’t want to look at him for the moment.
My heart ached for what would obviously never be. And yet my body was in euphoria, coming down from a high like no other.
He’d been rough and aggressive, and if I was being honest with myself… I enjoyed it.
I felt his hot hand moving down my arm, but him touching me sweetly in any way felt like a lie. I didn’t want to be lied to. Shaking his hand from my arm, I slid further away from him.
“Oh so now I can’t touch you?” he asked.
“Not like that. Not with any softness. No romance remember, this is just fucking.”
I was fucked, in more ways than one.