I WOKE UP DETERMINED NOT to spend another depressing day in this condo. It had been three days since my big blowout with Sebastian, and we’d barely spoken more than ten words to each other since. I couldn’t take the walking on eggshells for another day.
I wasn’t sure how Sebastian and I were going to fix this, but right now, we were both being too stubborn to be the first to cave and actually have a conversation with the other.
I’d called Judy on Monday after Sebastian had left for the club and lied to her. I told her a family emergency had come up and I wouldn’t be back in. She’d been really understanding and told me I was welcomed back anytime. That made me feel like complete crap, especially because she’d been so nice about it. Apparently, I was full of white lies these days.
I tried to tell myself it wasn’t a complete lie. Sebastian was my family, too, now, and our relationship was definitely in a state of crisis. I hated that he’d given me an ultimatum.
No.
I despised him for it, but I knew deep down I was also to blame for our situation. I wasn’t going to end my relationship with Sebastian over a job, so I quit.
I knew Sebastian was already down at the club, so I took a quick shower and got dressed. I had no idea where I planned to go, but I figured I’d roam around until something caught my attention. Maybe I’d find a good bookstore and check out the new releases. That sounded promising, and it actually made me look forward to getting out for the day.
As I took the stairs down to the club, my steps slowed as I passed Sebastian’s office. I figured he was inside and I wondered how pathetic I would feel if I pressed my ear against the door just to hear him inside. It would have been the most contact I’d had with him in days.
I bypassed his door with my dignity and almost made it out of the club without being stopped.
“Where are you going?” Mac stopped me.
His all-business voice, which usually comforted me, was annoying today. It seemed that not only were Sebastian and I not talking, but neither were Mac and I. I always knew he’d choose Sebastian’s side, but his avoiding me the last three days stung.
“Out,” I said without turning around.
“Does the boss know?”
“Seeing as how I haven’t seen him yet this morning, I’m going to assume no, but since you spend more time with him lately than I do, I’m sure you’ll fill him in.”
“Where should I tell him you went if he asks?”
“If he asks, you can tell him whatever you want to tell him. Tell him I ran off to join the circus. No, tell him I’m going to spend the day with a new boyfriend.”
He didn’t need to know I was referring to a new book boyfriend.
I didn’t wait for him to respond, and when I was outside and the sun was hitting my face, I felt better than I had in the last few days. Going off on Mac wasn’t exactly the most mature thing to do, but I wasn’t talking to Sebastian, so taking some of my frustration out on Mac was a nice outlet.
I didn’t have to go far into the city to find a Barnes & Nobles. I took in the book-scented air as I made my way through the store to the café tucked away on the side. I’d skipped my morning coffee in my haste to get out of the condo. My favorite mug was also now in a million pieces somewhere in a New York City dump.
When I was inside, sitting at a small table for two with my book and coffee, I instantly relaxed. The place was as packed as I would expect any place in the city to be, but it didn’t distract me from having a good time while I was out. I needed to forget about everything going on with Sebastian and me for a while.
“Rosslyn?”
My head snapped up at the sound of my name and standing above me was Kevin. He smiled genuinely down at me, and I felt the tension in my shoulders diminish.
“Kevin,” I said with surprise.
“I thought that was you. How are you?”
“I’m good and you?”
“I’m good.”
The conversation lulled, and I wasn’t really sure what to say next. Kevin was the last person I’d expect to run into on this side of town and in a Barnes & Nobles of all places.
“I don’t want to keep you,” he said with a friendly smile.
“I’ll see you next week.”
“Actually,” I said, stopping him. “I’m afraid I won’t be there. I had to quit unexpectantly.”
“Oh, no.” He frowned. “I hope everything’s okay?”
“Well.” I sighed. “Not really.”
He tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy.
“I’m sorry. What happened?”
Before I could respond, he held up his hands and stopped me. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s not that,” I started. “You’re fine. Honestly. It’s just kind of a long story. I don’t want to keep you.”
“If you’re up to talking, I don’t mind listening. I’m meeting someone but not until later, so I have some time to chat for a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
My plan had been to forget my problems with Sebastian, but talking it out didn’t sound so bad. Trish was my go-to person, but she’d been so busy lately and I hated bogging her down with my problems on top of her own.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay, sit.”
He took a seat and set his coffee down on the table. “Spill,” he said.
“Remember when you found me outside the office upset and I told you I wasn’t going to the police because it was complicated?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
I didn’t realize how much I’d been dying to talk this whole situation out until I started talking. Forty-five minutes later, I’d pretty much filled Kevin on everything. From lying about my job to quitting and everything in between.
Thankfully, he didn’t judge, which was really nice for a change.
“It sounds like a tough situation,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Tell me about it.” I shook my head. “We haven’t spoken in the last three days, and I don’t know how much longer I can take of this.”
“I’m not sure if this helps or not, but I probably would have done the same in your position. You have every right to work if you want to. Not to mention, you have every right to work wherever the hell you want. I might be a little biased, but you really made a difference. I can tell you care, and that’s rare these days.”
His compliment made me blush.
“Thank you, Kevin. That really means a lot to me.” I shrugged. “I don’t know, though. I feel like I should swallow my pride and just apologize first. I was the one who lied.”
“True, but you lied because he put you in the position to have to lie, and then instead of talking about it with you when he found out he just demanded that you quit.”
“I think that’s what bothers me the most. If we had talked it out the next day like I had planned for us to, I was already prepared to tell him I’d put my notice in.”
“See, but he didn’t have the respect he should have had or the faith in you to even try. I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be the first to apologize. Make him suffer just a little longer. It’ll be good for him.”
I laughed when he winked at me.
“The only bad part about that is I’m also suffering. Sebastian and I … We've always had this deep connection and I miss that. I have needs, ya know?”
“Well, the good news is you’re a woman in the twenty-first century. You can take care of some of those needs on your own,” he said. I blushed again, but this time for a totally different reason.
I was starting to think that Kevin was definitely gay. I was also pretty sure he meant for his comment to be funny and nothing more, but it made me uncomfortable all the same.
“Actually, I was speaking more mentally, not physically.”
I took a sip of my coffee to mask the awkward moment.
“Oh,” he said with an embarrassed grin. “Well then, I meant it just the same, sweetheart.”
I didn’t know why but having him call me sweetheart gave me an uneasy feeling. It wasn’t Kevin per se but the name itself. Perhaps I wasn’t as over the attack as I thought I was.
“So how are things with you?” I asked politely.
I wanted to end our conversation soon and transitioning to something lighter was going to be my ticket out of there.
“I’ve made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”
“No!” I said a little too loudly. The lady at the table next to us turned her head our way. “No. You’re totally fine.” I smiled around my cup. “Really.”
I could tell he didn’t believe me, but I forced another smile.
“Life is good,” he answered. “Everything seems to be going as planned for me.”
I was truly happy to hear it. Kevin was a nice guy who’d gotten into some bad things with the wrong people. But I really felt that he had a brighter future ahead of him.
“That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.”
His phone chimed then, and I hoped that was going to be my escape.
“Sorry,” he said, pulling his phone out and looking at it. “Looks like my friend will be here any minute.”
He stood then, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.
“Oh, okay,” I said awkwardly. “Well, thanks for chatting with me. It was nice to have someone to talk to.”
He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. I wasn’t sure I liked it very much.
“I think everything will work out in the end, Rosslyn.”
I gave him another smile and nodded.
“Of course. The next time we run into each other, I’m sure we’ll have more pleasant things to talk about.”
I laughed.
“Hopefully.”
We said our good-byes, and I watched as he made his way across the store. He stopped at the entrance and stood there as if he was waiting for someone. It wasn’t long until another man joined him. They smiled at each other before leaning in for a hug.
Kevin turned around before they walked out and waved at me. I waved back and then he was gone. Everything else aside, I was now a hundred percent positive he was gay.