TEN
“SAY YOU’RE SORRY,” I growled, pressing my palm into Darrell’s chest. “Say it, or I’ll rip your fucking face off.”
I could hardly believe how angry I was. I’d never felt this kind of rage before, but hearing him call her slutty was my undoing.
Too much was happening at once, and I was breaking.
First, Deloris, the only true mother figure I’d ever had, was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. I was for real on my own now, and I knew the hurt I felt for her loss would send me spiraling down the wrong path.
And second, my feelings for Jane had shifted over time, and after our little talk upstairs, I felt like I could express those feeling more freely with her. That freedom only enhanced my feelings, and hearing Darrell speak to the woman I cared about that way had sent me over the edge.
I could imagine what it looked like when he walked into the foyer. Me, embracing her like she was the only thing holding me to Earth, and her, sliding her slender fingers through my hair to soothe the heartache from losing Deloris. I was sure it looked like we were holding each other—touching each other—loving each other.
Still, that gave him no right to speak to her that way.
“I’m not apologizing for shit,” he spat.
“She’s your wife, dude. You just called your wife a slut.”
“That’s right! She’s my wife. Mine! You’d do well to remember that, you little shit!”
He pushed at me, giving himself the space he needed to move away from me, and then he was gone, storming through the house and toward the front door.
He was a fucking loser, and I was done. Deloris was gone. I officially had nowhere else to go, but I still hadn’t decided whether I wanted to leave. With Jane’s openness about her feelings toward me, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to leave her side.
Then again, I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to stand by and watch her with her husband either. I was starting to think maybe it was wiser to take my chances on the streets while I tried my hardest not to freeze to death once winter came.
Freezing to death suddenly didn’t sound as bad as sitting around while Darrell touched what I was slowly beginning to feel was mine—while he spoke to her the way he’d spoken to her just then.
I was only sure of two things.
One: if I left, I’d probably die.
And two: if I stayed, he’d probably die.
Jane let out a cry beside me and pushed her face into the palms of her hands.
“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching out to smooth a stray hair from her ponytail.
She looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded, turning away in embarrassment.
“Has he always drunk this much?” I asked. “It seems it’s all he’s done since I’ve been here.”
“It’s stress at work.” She repeated her bullshit lie.
She’d said it once before when I questioned why Darrell was such a douche.
“Yeah, right,” I muttered. “Has he ever hit you?”
I didn’t know why I bothered to ask. Obviously, she would lie for him.
All I knew was if he ever laid a hand on her while I was around, I’d blow his fucking head off.
“No. Never. He’s never been this way.”
If that were true, then something was triggering his behavior, and I knew exactly what that something was.
It was me.
It had to be me.
I was the only thing different in their household.
Maybe he could feel the sexual tension between me and Jane?
“He’s an asshole,” I muttered, running my fingers down the side of her face.
She giggled, her cheeks turning pink.
“Agreed.”
“Then why are you with him?”
It was a question that had plagued me since I stepped foot in their household.
What did she see in Darrell?
She was too beautiful for him—too sweet—too perfect. What in the hell was it about him that made her stay?
The money?
The security?
The sex?
I felt sick to my stomach, thinking of her with him—thinking of his cock inside her warmth when it was the one place in the world I wanted to be.
“It’s complicated.” She shrugged.
“It’s always complicated.”
I stepped away, ready to escape to my room. I wanted to mourn the loss of Deloris without the embarrassment of someone else watching. I also needed to figure out my next step.
Before I could leave her, she grabbed my hand, stopping me.
“I know you’re hurting, Sebastian. Don’t pull away from me. Let me make it better.”
Sex should have been the last thing I could think about, but when she moved into my body, and her warm spread over my skin, all I could think about was her.
Feeling her.
Losing myself in her.
Forgetting all the pain I was feeling and enjoying all the pleasure I knew she could give me.
I closed my eyes and pushed the feelings of loss and pain away, and when she pulled on my hand and told me to follow her upstairs, I went along without argument.
Darrell could have come home at any moment, but that didn’t mean I would stop her when she closed my bedroom door behind us and turned off the light.
It was early morning, and the moon was high, streaming into my window and filling the space with just enough illumination that I could see her lacy bra when she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it to the floor.
“I saw you watching me with Darrell. You came for me. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen in my life.”
My balls tightened.
I’d never had a woman talk so freely to me in all my life.
Girls giggled.
But women … they spoke their minds and could make your dick hard with just their words.
I swallowed as she pressed against my chest, backing me toward my bed.
“Did you like watching me fuck my husband, Sebastian?”
I shook my head. “No.”
Working her hands beneath my shirt, she pulled it over my chest, and I lifted my arms to help her undress me.
“Would you like it if I told you I was thinking about you when I was riding him?”
I nodded, my words becoming lodged in my throat.
“Because I was. I was imagining it was your cock I was riding. You were inside me, Sebastian, and when I orgasmed, my juices flowed down your shaft. Did you feel it? Could you feel it when I came all over you?”
Before I could answer, she pushed me onto the bed and slowly peeled her panties over her hips and down her thighs.
My jeans slid from my hips and down my legs as she pulled them off. The cool air of the room sent chills down my legs, but my dick stayed rock hard, not bothered one bit by the cold.
My heart was racing, throbbing in my ears so loudly I almost didn’t hear her when she said, “I’m so wet for you. I feel the moisture when I rub my thighs together.”
I closed my eyes, feeling like I was coming all over myself with just her words.
She climbed over me, her legs opening, allowing me to briefly see the glistening between her thighs in the moonlight before she straddled me.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
I don’t know why I did. I knew exactly what she was doing. I also knew it was wrong, but I wasn’t sure I could stop her even if I wanted to … which I didn’t.
“Something I’ve wanted to do since you got here.”
She was old enough to be my mother. Technically, in the eyes of the state, she was, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her. And it certainly didn’t stop her from seducing me—from wiping away all the heartache of losing Deloris for a brief time. For taking me and turning me inside out.
Her skilled hands moved down my chest, red fingernails digging into my flesh. My fingertips skimmed her waist, and she pushed my hands to the side before intertwining her fingers with mine. She held me to the bed, and it made me feel as if I would never move again.
Beneath Jane.
It was where I belonged.
I knew that now, and knowing my place meant there was no way I would leave her from that moment on.
Already, I could feel pre-come wetting my tip and rubbing into my boxers, leaving a cold spot.
“I want to be your first, Sebastian. Am I your first?” she asked.
When I didn’t respond, she ran her hot tongue across my erect nipple, making me gasp before she bit down. I jerked, the pain mixing so completely with the pleasure and confusing me beyond belief.
It didn’t make any sense for something to hurt yet feel amazing at the same time, but with Jane, apparently anything was possible.
“Tell me,” she said, moving to the other nipple and doing the same.
I growled when the pain shot through my chest and melted into hot pleasure down my dick.
“Tell you what? I’ll say anything you want me to say.”
I’d never been so willing to please someone in all my life.
Anything.
She would have anything I had.
All of me.
I was hers completely.
“Tell me I’m your first. Tell me my pussy is the first you’ll ever feel.”
A moan slipped from my lips as she brushed lips and tongue over my smarting nipple once again.
“Yes.”
I wasn’t beyond saying more. It took everything I had in me to push that single word from my lips.
“Yes, what?” she asked.
I swallowed, struggling to speak with her mouth on me—kissing me—licking me—biting me.
“Yes, you’ll be my first.”
She purred, the catlike sound moving over my skin and sending yet another shockwave of pleasure down my body before it settled into my balls.
“That turns me on. I want you so bad, Sebastian. Tell me you want me, too,” she said, moving up and running her heated tongue across my lips.
I’d made out with girls.
Actually, I was pretty skilled with girls, but I’d never gone all the way. Also, I’d never been with a girl who knew so much—one so skilled—so mature. My body responded to hers in a way I didn’t know was possible.
“I want you. God, I want you so bad,” I hissed.
She kissed me, her tongue probing my mouth and filling me with her flavor. It was exotic—ripe—nothing like the other girls.
The fabric from my boxers felt rough as she pushed them to the side, exposing me. The cold air rushed over my hard-on before her warm fingers wrapped around me.
“Shit. Oh, shit,” I groaned, trying my hardest to hold back.
I was scared I’d come in her palm—scared I’d finish before things even really started—but she moved slow and easy, teasing me to the point of insanity.
For the first time in my life, I found myself begging for something.
“Are you ready for me?” she asked, rubbing her scorching wetness all over me.
“Yes. So fucking ready,” I panted.
And then she moved, settling her body onto mine until she’d buried me deep within her. Her slickness glided over me, making me lean up and my body go tense. My mouth dropped open at the sheer pleasure of her wrapped around me.
Everything I’d ever known about women was shattered in seconds. She covered my length in her heat, grinding her hips and coating me with more pleasure than I’d ever known.
My hot breaths moved fast over my lips, drying them and forcing me to lick them to keep them moist.
“Do I feel good, Sebastian?”
Rational thought was gone, and I was unable to speak. Instead, I nodded my head.
She slid up my pole all the way to the tip before slamming her body back down in one swift movement.
“Shit,” I hissed.
“I’ll ask you again. Do I feel good?” She rolled her hips, moving up my length and down again.
My fingers dug into her skin—pulling her to me—pressing her down onto my cock. “Yes. Ah, God, so good, Jane. You’re so good.”
She rotated her hips again, moving back and forward and causing me to lift from my pillow. My elbows dug into the bed, and I stared down at the spot where we connected. Watching myself disappear into her depths was slowly sending me over the edge.
Her lips smashed into mine, and the sounds that escaped my lips rushed into her mouth. Muffled groans rumbled between our locked mouths, intensifying every sensation I was feeling. I slid my tongue against hers and guided her hips with my fingers.
Sweet sounds of our two bodies coming together filled the room, and my balls tightened as she worked her body on top of me. I wasn’t going to last long. No way was it even possible with the things she was doing to me.
“I …” I tried to speak, but the words got stuck. I forced them out, choking on them as they worked their way across my tongue. “I can’t.”
“You can’t what, baby?” she asked, speeding up and making my legs shake.
“I can’t control it. I’m going to … I can’t.”
I was stuttering, my words a jumbled mess of letters that made no sense even to myself.
She chuckled, rolling her hips once more before grinding on me.
“Are you going to come?” she asked, picking up her speed and making my breaths come hard and faster.
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled.
“Good. Come for me, baby. Come deep inside me. Fill my hot little pussy up. I want to feel it.”
And I was done.
Her words sent me spiraling over the edge, and I growled as hot desire tightened my balls and shot down my shaft like lightning.
My fingers dug into her hips, sending pain into my knuckles as I pulled her body to mine harder and faster.
I came hard.
I came in a way I never had before. My hips jerked from the bed, begging to be deeper, and I bit my bottom lip until I was sure it would bleed. When I released my lip, words flew from my mouth. Words I meant. Words I had no desire to take back.
“I love you.”
My words were strained like my muscles—tight and full of passion and sensation. They were the same words that made her go tense before, but this time, she looked down at me and smiled softly.
Once I’d emptied myself inside her, she lifted from my body. Cold air rushed over my deflating dick, making me shiver even more than I already was. Her lips were soft when she kissed mine, and then the bed creaked as she stood and began to put her clothes back on.
We didn’t speak. There was nothing I could say anyway. Not when my heart was stuck in the back of my throat, and my balls were metaphorically in her grasp. I’d said all I needed to say, and now, all I could do was wait until she was ready to say it back.
She tugged her dress over her body and adjusted it around her knees. It was as though she couldn’t get away from me fast enough—as if she was done with me completely.
I was young and stupid, but I knew better than to ask her to stay. I wanted her to—I wanted to hold her and relish the moment—but I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I just lay there and watched as she quickly put herself together and left my side.
She moved across the room and stopped at the door.
“Good night, Sebastian,” she whispered.
But before I could respond, she opened the door and disappeared, leaving me in my dark room and shutting the door quietly behind her.
I knew then that she’d ruined me for all other women for the rest of my life. I was just unaware of how badly.