I FOLDED.
After two weeks of her staying in the condo just up the stairs from me, I needed to see her face. I wanted to be close to her. It was too much—being away from her—knowing she was just few feet away from me.
Sleeping naked in our bed.
Wanting me.
Needing me.
I couldn’t handle being away from her for another second.
So I sent Mac to collect her, and when she walked into my office, I broke. I couldn’t even look at her. She was too beautiful—too precious—and I was breaking her. I could see it in her sad green eyes—in the way she held herself stiff and smiled with force.
I hated myself for the way I treated her when she came to me, and after she so sweetly begged for me, I knew there was no way I could do it. I couldn’t be in the same building with her and not go to her—not hold her and kiss her—be with her.
So I’d done the stupid thing and I’d pushed her away. I should have known treating her like one of my girls wasn’t going to work, but I needed her in a comfortable place where I could keep an eye on her. I needed her to go to the condo I’d bought for her and Kyle when she was just my Jessica and not the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I needed her to do it while making her think I didn’t care.
The second she knew how badly I wanted her—how badly I missed her—I knew she would make my life a living hell. She’d continue to throw herself at me. She’d continue to love me, and I wasn’t sure how long I could push that away. Not when I wanted it so badly.
But just like I knew it would, it backfired. And instead of her going to the condo and giving me peace of mind, she ran to Trish’s apartment. I couldn’t keep an eye on her there. I didn’t know if she’d be okay there, and I hated feeling like she wasn’t safe.
It took all the control I had to keep my ass in my chair when she left my office, and it took even more effort not to go to her and collect her from Trish’s tiny apartment. But I knew I had to do it.
For her.
Always for her.
I woke the next morning prepared to go get her and settle for her living in the condo above Clive’s. I could control myself if it meant she wasn’t living far away in an apartment that was most likely unsafe. However, not long after I entered my office, Mac was bringing in another mysterious letter.
And after reading the letter, I knew her staying with Trish was safer than her staying with me above Clive’s. And as much as I hated it, I had to leave her there until I could somehow convince her to stay at the condo I’d purchased for her and Kyle.
“What do you want me to do?” Mac asked when I looked up from the letter.
I hated it.
I hated losing control.
I hated that some asshole was dictating my life through a fucked-up piece of paper.
“Don’t leave her side. Follow her. Park outside of the place she’s staying. Don’t let her out of your sight for even one second.”
Mac nodded. “But while I’m doing this, who’s going to cover your back, Black?”
“Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.” I stood from my chair and made my way around the desk. “This isn’t a permanent situation, but until I can get her settled in the safety of my second condo, I need your eyes on her at all times. Understand?”
“I understand, but how exactly do you expect to get her to leave her friend’s place? Rosslyn doesn’t like being told what to do. She’s hardheaded that way. It might be easier to inform her about the letters.”
He had a point, but I wasn’t going to do that.
“You’re right. She’s as hardheaded as they come, but I can’t tell her about the letters. I don’t want her to worry about something I can take care of.” Snatching my cell from the desk, I put it in my pocket. “And as far as getting her out of Trish’s place and into mine, I have my ways. Watch and learn.”
MY PLAN WORKED TO PERFECTION, and it wasn’t long until I was sitting in my office and waiting for Rosslyn to come and chew me out for calling Trish’s landlord.
I hated to go behind her back and be deceitful, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
It was about eleven in the morning when my office door finally flew open and Rosslyn was standing there shooting daggers at me.
“I can’t believe you would stoop so low,” she snapped as she slammed the door behind her. “You called her landlord? Really, Sebastian? That’s playing it a bit dirty, don’t you think?”
I chuckled even though laughing was the last thing I wanted to do.
“Come on now, Rosslyn. You’ve always known what a beast I was. You also know that when I want something, I get it.”
“But you said yourself that you don’t want me anymore!” She threw her hands up in aggravation before falling into the chair in front of my desk.
“No. I don’t.” The words burned my tongue and my heart broke when pain streaked across her expression. “But I still want you where I can get to you in case I change my mind. I also don’t like the idea of you being in unsafe places. The condo is paid for. It’s yours. It’s safe. Just stay there until we find a better solution.”
I opened the drawer to my desk and pulled out the keys I’d offered her days before. Tossing them into her lap, I turned away and rested my hip against my desk.
“Why do you care, Sebastian?” Her voice softened. “I hate you so much for this. For doing this to me.”
And then she stood with the keys in her hands and defeat etched into her expression. I swallowed against my emotions when she turned her back on me and started toward the door to leave without saying good-bye. Her spirit was broken—her spark gone—and I hated myself for altering her.
“Rosslyn,” I called out, stopping her before she could leave.
She didn’t respond. Instead, she turned my way with narrowed eyes and an angry frown.
“The restaurant opening,” I started. “I think you should be there. Actually, I want you there.”
I hated admitting that out loud, and I knew it wouldn’t make any difference, but I needed her to read between the lines. I needed her to know how much I still loved her—that I was only doing this to protect her, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t tell her about the letters. It was too dangerous. She’d fight for me, just the way I was fighting against her for her.
“No thanks,” she muttered.
And then she turned and left my office.
The door shut behind her with a click of finality, and I had a sickening feeling that I’d never get her back. Even once I found the person threatening her life. Even after I admitted the truth to her and explained my atrocious behavior to her. I had a feeling she’d never come back to me, but it was a chance I had to take.
If it meant she would live to see another day, then I’d do it.
For her.
Always for her.