A.J

 

As A.J walked back to his house, he thought about Rae. He didn’t know why, but something about this girl had gotten to him. He had seen something in her face the first time he saw her. There was a sadness deep in her soul, and he had no idea how to get passed the wall of steel she had erected around herself.

When he had found her dancing in the studio, he was completely captivated by her. There was no music, except inside her head, yet somehow he could hear the music as she moved. Each fluid movement, each twist, and turn were like a note to the song of her soul.

When he searched for her dancing online, he was completely blown away by what he saw. Her talent was indescribable; yet she seemed angry, even ashamed he knew the truth about her.

Upsetting her was the last thing he had wanted to do, but now that he had, he had an overwhelming desire to reach out to her and try to help her heal.

A.J knew he needed answers, and he knew getting them from Rae was very unlikely. So that left him with one option. When he reached his house, he quickly slipped off his jacket and sat down in front of his laptop.

Once it was booted up, he opened Google, keyed in her name and hit return.

As it had done the last time he googled her, endless links to videos of her dancing filled his screen. As tempting as it was to click on them, and sit and watch her once again, A.J just scrolled down, unsure of what it was he was looking for. He just knew he would see it when he found it.

It took a while, but finally what he was looking for flashed up onto his screen and his heart instantly pounded in his chest, as a sickening feeling settled inside him.

He clicked on the first of several links and the face of Dean McCabe filled his screen, as finally, the mystery of Rae Sullivan became a little clearer.

A.J read of how, in a jealous rage, McCabe had attacked Rae in her dance studio, and how the injuries of the promising dancer were so severe, doctors were unsure if she would make a complete recovery.

Another article told of how McCabe had pleaded guilty in exchange for a lenient sentence and would serve just twelve months out of a five-year sentence.

Suddenly it all became clear to A.J. He recalled her words back in the dance studio, how she tried to keep to herself, to make it easier to move on. It was her way of self-preservation.

After reading a list of her injuries, A.J closed down the laptop, finally having read enough. He quickly stood up and grabbed his jacket. He needed to go and make sure she was okay. He was so angry at himself for leaving her after upsetting her as he had.

Grabbing his keys from the hall table, he hurried out the door. He grabbed his bicycle from his front porch, then quickly headed down the front steps of his small townhouse.

Setting his bicycle down, he swung his leg over it but stopped suddenly when he realised what he was actually doing.

What in God’s name are you thinking? A.J thought miserably as he stood astride his bicycle. What are you going to say to her? I googled you like some crazy stalker once again, and I know all your deepest darkest secrets now!

A.J sighed as he realised how insane and strange all this seemed. There was no way he could go there without freaking her out completely.

He climbed off his bicycle once more and carried it back up the steps to his house. He would just have to take things, one step at a time. He would be the friend she clearly needed, and when she was ready to talk, he would be the shoulder she could lean on.

As A.J walked up the front steps of Saint Mike’s, he glanced down at his watch and saw it was already ten minutes after eight. As he walked down to the office, he thought of Rae as he had done a lot over the weekend.

If he was truly honest, she was all he had thought about since he dropped her home on Friday afternoon. He had considered dropping by her apartment to check on her many more times, but each time he would reason that it was best to wait till he got to work that morning. It would seem more natural, and less intrusive that way.

So he decided he would get to the school early, and casually bump into her, in a friendly kind of way.

Now, as he walked towards the office, he wondered if maybe he was too late. The last couple of weeks, she had arrived at the school extra early and was tucked away in her classroom before anyone seen her. A.J knew that was exactly what Rae wanted, and that this was not going to be as easy as he had first thought.

He had just reached the office when he stopped. He didn’t know why, but he suddenly turned and made his way back down the corridor towards her classroom. He knew if he were ever going to get through Rae’s walls, he would have to make the first move and not leave it to chance.

When A.J reached her classroom, he hesitated before he quietly stepped through the door, and sure enough, he found Rae sitting at her desk, lost in her work.

A.J watched her for a moment, and he couldn’t help but think just how beautiful Rae was. Since he had taken his vow of chastity, he had always been able to compartmentalise his feelings for people. Sure, he would notice a pretty girl, he was still a man; but he was happy with his decision to dedicate his life to God; never once questioning his vows.

That was until right at that moment.

As he stood there and watched her flick through the papers in front of her; he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be the person to put the smile back on her face.

A.J quickly reasoned it was simply his nature to help those in need; fix the broken as it were. It had been in his nature since he was a little boy. Still, there was a quiet beauty in Rae that drew A.J to her like he had never been drawn to another person before and it confused him.

Suddenly she looked up and looked a little startled to see him standing there, but then she gave him a warm smile, and A.J felt relieved. He hadn’t realised just how nervous he was about seeing her again until that moment.

“Hey,” she said as she set her pencil down.

“Good morning, Rae,” A.J said and gave her a bright smile and walked further into the room, then sat down on the edge of the desk in the front row of the class. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Better,” she replied as her face instantly flushed with embarrassment. She stood up, and slowly walked around her desk to the front of it and sat down on the edge, facing A.J. “Listen, about the other day. I want to apologise…”

“There is no need for that,” A.J quickly stopped her. “It’s me that is sorry. You made it clear last week that dancing was a private thing for you. I should have never pushed you…”

“You didn’t push,” Rae corrected him. “It’s just…it’s complicated. Dancing used to be so important to me, but things change…for many different reasons. I’m sorry for how I behaved.”

“Forget it,” A.J replied and gave her a reassuring smile as their eyes connected for a moment, and A.J instantly held his breath. There was something in her eyes, something that spoke to him in a way nothing else ever had before. He could suddenly feel his face flush a little, as the sound of his heart hammered in his ears. He shook his head and tried to clear his mind of the thousand thoughts racing through his head at that moment. He needed to keep things simple between them if he was ever going to get her to open up. He took a deep breath before he continued. “We’re friends, so no need for sorry.”

Rae smiled but didn’t respond.

“We are friends, aren’t we?” A.J asked as he stood up. He was worried that he may have already crossed a line, and that Rae would shut him out for good.

“Of course we’re friends,” Rae replied with a smile. “I’m happy that I can consider you my friend.”

“You can,” A.J replied, this time is voice was softer. Once more his eyes found hers, and he smiled. “And if you ever need to talk. I can always be a good shoulder if you should need one.”

“I will remember that,” Rae said, but she gave A.J a look that told him she was curious about just how much he really knew about her.

“We have another game this afternoon,” A.J said, deciding it was best to change the subject. “It would be great if you could come and cheer them on. I know some of the team is in your classes, and it seems you have made quite an impression on some of the boys. I know they would be delighted if you came; give them someone to show off to.”

Rae couldn’t help but laugh at what A.J said, and A.J liked that he could make her smile so easily.

“I will try and stop by,” Rae laughed and nodded her head, but suddenly her smile faded a little.

“What’s wrong?” A.J asked worried he had upset her once more.

“What will happen with the boy?” Rae asked, surprising A.J with her question. “The one who wants to be a dancer.”

“We will think of something,” A.J shrugged resisting the urge he had to beg her to reconsider helping him. “He has a few weeks before he has the tryouts for Juilliard, so we have time.”

“Wow, he’s trying out for Juilliard!” Rae exclaimed with a smile. “That’s pretty impressive.”

“Well, as I said,” he replied with a shrug. “I think this kid has something special; I think he could go all the way.”

“I wish I could help, I do,” Rae said as her eyes suddenly dropped to the floor. “It’s just so complicated…”

“Like I said,” A.J said as he instinctively reached out and took hold of her chin before he tilted her face back up to his. “You don’t have to explain anything. Honestly.”

“Thank you,” Rae whispered as she looked up into his eyes.

For a moment neither of them said a word and A.J felt something stir inside him. He quickly released her from his grasp and stepped back. He smiled and gave her a nod as his mind raced, searching for something to say.

“How did the blind date go?” He blurted out suddenly, though why he did, he had no freaking idea.

“It wasn’t a blind date, as such,” Rae replied as she blushed once again. “I just met up with my friend and some of her colleagues from the hospital.”

“I thought you said that your friend was playing Cupid,” A.J asked, and for some unknown reason, he felt a little irritated that her friend was pushing her into meeting someone when clearly, it wasn’t what she wanted.

“She tried,” Rae replied with a nervous smile. “But I’m not really looking for someone. I like my life the way it is.”

“So you didn’t fall madly in love with the guy she wanted you to meet?” A.J laughed. He didn’t know why, but he felt completely at ease with this girl. So much so, sometimes words came out of his mouth before he had a chance to engage his brain.

“No,” she giggled, and her face flushed once more. He had no idea why, but he found the fact that she blushed so easily, completely enchanting.

“Maybe next time you’ll meet the one,” A.J replied with a smile, as once more his eyes met hers. He had no idea why, but he felt so drawn to Rae. Like her soul was connected directly to his and there was a tiny voice deep inside him that whispered, ‘maybe you’re the one!’

Suddenly the first bell sounded, and it was like a bolt of electricity to A.J. He quickly stepped back from Rae and coughed to clear his throat, as he quickly pushed these insane thoughts from his head.

“I should be going,” he announced as he took another couple of backward steps towards the door. “Glad to see you’re feeling a lot better today.”

“I am,” Rae nodded, giving A.J a strange look.

“I meant what I said,” he said as he reached the safety of the doorway. “If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me.”

“Thanks, A.J,” Rae replied with a grateful smile.

“And don’t forget to drop by the game today,” A.J added. “I know the kids would like to see you there.”

“I will,” Rae nodded and smiled again.

“I guess I should be going,” A.J said as he nervously tapped on the door frame before he turned slowly and headed out of the room. He walked down the hallway a few feet before he stopped and slumped against the wall. He closed his eyes and scrubbed his face with his hands, before he pushed them through his hair.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? He screamed in his head. Talk about acting like a horny teenager! You need to snap the hell out of whatever stupidity this is!

“Father Alex,” a girl’s voice crashed into his head, startling A.J. “Are you okay?”

“Hey Rebecca,” A.J said when he opened his eyes and instantly recognised the girl standing in front of him. “Yeah, I’m good, thank you. Are you on your way to class?”

Of course, she is on her way to class, Genius, A.J groaned to himself. It’s Monday morning, and you’re standing in a school corridor.

“I’m just heading to English,” Rebecca replied with a broad smile.

“You’re in Ms. Sullivan’s class,” A.J asked, unsure why his interest was suddenly piqued.

“Yeah,” the girl replied with a broad smile. “She is so amazing. I wish she could stay here for good.”

A.J gave the girl a smile before she turned and hurried into the classroom he had just emerged from.

As he turned and made his way along the corridor, he thought about the girl’s words and the only thought that he could form was; I wish she could stay here too.