Rae

 

“Homework for the weekend is to read through chapters one to five,” Rae said as she walked down the centre aisle of her classroom, handing out sheets of paper. “Then I want you to answer the questions on these sheets.”

Her comment was met with a chorus of groans, just as she expected it would be, and Rae had to resist the urge she had to laugh.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she smiled to herself. “Didn’t I give you enough to do?”

She got no response, not that she was expecting any. The final bell sounded, and Rae headed back to her desk.

“Have a great weekend,” she called out to the kids as they filed out of her classroom. She felt a little bad about giving them homework for the weekend, but the teacher she was covering for had left a detailed work timetable for the class, and Rae was trying her hardest to stick to it.

She checked her watch and sighed. She needed to get home and get changed because she was meeting Daisy after her shift for drinks, even though she really didn’t want to. She knew that Daisy was going to try and fix her up with one of the doctors from the hospital, and Rae wasn’t really sure she wanted to be fixed up.

Daisy had insisted that the best way to get over the whole ridiculous incident with A.J, was to get back into the dating scene. Rae wasn’t really interested in dating anyone, but she knew Daisy would never let it go, so she agreed to meet her for drinks with some of her friends from the hospital.

Rae sighed once more and scrubbed her face with her hands as she pushed up from her seat.

“Is now a bad time?” A.J asked from the doorway of her classroom, startling Rae. She looked up and smiled at him, ignoring the feeling of longing in the pit of her stomach.

It had been a couple of days since her talk with him in the dance studio, and though she was beginning to feel a little more comfortable in his company, there was still a tiny part of her that liked him a little more than she knew she should have.

“What? No!” Rae replied with a smile as she pushed her feelings back down inside her. “It’s just I have this thing I really don’t want to go to; it’s a long, boring story.”

“Well,” A.J said as he walked over and sat down on the edge of her desk and smiled. “I’m going nowhere if you want to tell me.”

“It’s just my friend, Daisy,” Rae replied unsure why she was even telling him this. “She wants me to meet her this evening for some drinks.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” A.J laughed, and Rae hated how much she like the sound of his laughter. “Spending time with your friends is important.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugged as she tried not to dwell on the fact that A.J was completely gorgeous. “But it’s more than just meeting my friend. She is trying to play cupid with one of her work colleagues…”

“And you’re not interested?” A.J finished her sentence with a question.

“Not really,” Rae replied as her face flushed a little with embarrassment to be talking to A.J about this.

“I see,” A.J said with a nod.

“I mean, I’m sure that the guy is nice and all,” Rae continued for some reason that escaped her. “It’s just; I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”

“Did you tell your friend this?” A.J asked, as his eyes searched Rae’s face.

“So many times,” Rae laughed, as she pictured her friend right at that moment. “But Daisy is… Daisy is different. She looks at things differently to most people. Her heart is in the right place.”

“And you don’t want to hurt her,” A.J added with a smile.

“I could never hurt her,” Rae smiled as she shook her head. “Not Daisy.”

“It sounds like Daisy is lucky to have you as a friend,” A.J replied.

“Actually, I’m the lucky one,” Rae admitted honestly. “Daisy saved me at a time in my life when I didn’t even know I needed saving. She is the one person I know that I can be myself with.”

“She sounds like someone I would like, too,” A.J said and he gave Rae a smile.

“I think you would,” Rae replied as she let her eyes meet A.J’s for a moment, and once more her face flushed with embarrassment. Why did she have to like him so damn much? “So, was there something I can do for you?”

“Actually there is,” he said as he stood up and pushed his hands into his pockets. “I need a favour. It’s kind of a big one.”

“Okay,” Rae replied with a nervous laugh. “What is it you need?”

“I have this kid,” A.J began, and Rae could see he was unsure about asking her for help. “On the basketball team, I mean. He is a really awesome player; a really great kid.”

“Okay,” Rae replied, having no clue where this conversation was going.

“Thing is, basketball isn’t really where his heart lies,” A.J continued. “But you know kids these days, image is everything, and he is worried about what his teammates would say if they knew where his heart truly lay.”

“That’s awful,” Rae said, feeling bad for the kid, even though she had no idea who he was. “But how can I help him?”

“Well,” A.J replied, and Rae could see the nervousness in his eyes. “That’s the thing. After our talk the other day, I got to thinking. And I did a little research. You would be surprised what you can find on the internet these days.”

“I guess so,” Rae said, suddenly feeling a little nervous too, but she had no idea why.

“Calum is very talented,” A.J continued. “But he needs help, and I believe you are exactly what he needs.”

“Me?” Rae asked, surprised by his comment. “Why me?”

“Because I’ve seen you dance,” A.J replied as a sickening feeling settled in the pit of Rae’s stomach, the moment he said the words. “And I don’t just mean the other day. I have seen all the videos that are online, and there isn’t a word big enough for how talented you are. Calum could be almost as good, but he needs help. He needs a teacher, but he is afraid that if he went to a class, his friends would find out.”

“You want me to teach him to dance?” Rae said as her stomach clenched deep inside her.

“He is really good,” A.J continued, and Rae could hear the excitement in his voice. “But if you were to help him, he could be great.”

“I…I’m sorry,” Rae said as she tried to focus on what she was saying, but the sound of her heart pounding in her ears made it impossible. “I don’t know what videos you have found online, but I can’t help you. Not anymore.”

Rae suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe and she needed to get out of the classroom. She didn’t know why, but she knew she was going to cry, and she knew there was nothing that would stop the tears. She just needed to get out of there before they won their battle, and broke free.

Rae quickly walked to the set of shelves in the corner where she had left her handbag and grabbed it. She stopped for a moment and closed her eyes, as she tried to calm herself a little before she turned back to A.J, but instead memories of Dean raining punch after punch, kick after kick filled her mind and she couldn’t push the memories from her thoughts. She could feel her chest grow tighter, as if all the air was being sucked from her lungs.

PLEASE DON’T FALL APART! She screamed in her head, but it was no use.

“But you can, you have the experience,” A.J pleaded, unaware of the effect his request had on Rae. “You know what it takes to be the best; you are the best…”

“I’m not anything,” she snapped impatiently as she turned back to face A.J. “I don’t dance anymore; I don’t teach. The other day, what you saw…it was a mistake. I’m sorry, but my answer is no.”

“But…” A.J went to argue his point, but he stopped as if he knew that she was not going to change her mind. He looked at her and Rae could see the same look in his eyes that she had seen from everyone she knew after Dean assaulted her. It was a look she detested; a look of pity.

“I need to go,” she said as her voice cracked. She didn’t wait for his response; instead, she turned and hurried towards the door.

“Rae, wait!” He called after her as she rushed out of the classroom. “I didn’t mean…”

Rae didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence. Instead, she hurried down along the corridor, pushing past a group of kids as she headed straight for the exit.

By the time she reached the front steps of the school, her chest was burning, and her eyes were blurred with unshed tears. She sucked in a long, deep breath, but it was like her lungs had forgotten how to work and her chest tightened.

Rae knew she needed to stop and try to calm her breathing, but she needed to reach the safety of her car first. She hurried to the parking lot, heading straight for her car.

When she reached her car, she searched her handbag for her car keys, but she couldn’t seem to find them. The panic that was building inside her grew as finally the tears she was holding back trickled down her face.

“Where the hell are they?” She cried out as she continued to rummage through her bag, but it was no use. She couldn’t find them. “FUCK!!”

“Here,” A.J’s voice said softly from behind her. Before Rae had time to respond, A.J stepped closer to her and pressed the central locking button on the keys in his hand. “You left them on your desk.”

Rae just nodded as she turned to A.J and reached out her hand for the keys.

“You’re in no state to drive,” A.J said closing his hand around the keys. “Let me drive you home.”

I c…can dr…drive myself,” she stuttered without looking up at him.

“Let me take you home,” A.J pleaded, and this time his voice was softer and quieter.

Rae looked up at A.J and sighed. She wanted to snap the keys from his hand and tell him that she didn’t need his help, but right at that moment, she could barely breathe much less drive a car.

She stared at him for what felt like forever, before finally she nodded her head, and turned back to the car. Without saying a word, she climbed into the passenger seat, closed her eyes, and sobbed quietly.

After a couple of moments, the driver’s door opened, and A.J climbed in. Without saying a word, he slid the key into the ignition and started the car.

They drove in silence as Rae focused on trying to calm her breathing down. As her heart slowed a little, she wiped her face with the back of her hands. Then she slowly opened her eyes, as she blew out a deep, steadying breath.

She couldn’t believe that she had totally freaked out in front of A.J like she just had. She was beyond mortified. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, much less talk to him, so instead, she turned her focus to the window and the world outside the car.

It wasn’t until they passed by the front of Saint Mike’s for the third time that Rae realised they were driving around in circles.

“Are you just driving around the school over and over again?” She asked as she sat up straight in her seat.

“Well, I don’t actually know where you live,” A.J replied with a nervous laugh. “And I wasn’t sure you were ready to talk to me yet, so I just thought I would drive until you were.”

Rae couldn’t help but smile at what he said. He was sweet and funny in a dorky kind of way. She gave him her address, and settle back down in her seat, as once more silence settled between them.

“I’m sorry for freaking out,” she finally said after a few minutes. “And I’m sorry that you had to drive me home.”

“It’s no big deal,” A.J shrugged and smiled, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

Rae watched him for a moment before she turned her attention back to the road ahead too, and silence fell once more.

It wasn’t until they were just a couple of blocks from her home that A.J spoke again.

“So, do you want to talk about what got you so upset?” He asked, and this time he gave her a brief sideways glance.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Rae replied quietly, as once more her whole body tensed.

“Well, I find that a little hard to believe,” A.J sighed without looking at Rae. “For someone as talented as you to walk away from something you clearly loved, it definitely wasn’t nothing. But if you don’t want to talk about it…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Rae said quickly, cutting him off mid-sentence.

“Okay,” A.J replied and nodded his head. “And Calum?”

“Calum?” Rae asked, unsure what he was talking about.

“The kid that needs your help,” A.J replied as he pulled up outside Rae’s apartment building.

“I already told you,” Rae sighed. “I can’t help him, I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I just can't.”

“And that’s your final word on it?” A.J asked, but there was something in his voice that told Rae he didn’t believe it would be her final word. She turned and looked at him, and he instantly gave her a warm smile.

“That’s my final word,” she said looking him straight in the eye.

“Okay,” he replied, giving her a knowing smile.

“Thank you for driving me home,” Rae sighed knowing in her heart that A.J was not about to let this drop; not just yet.”

“It was my pleasure,” A.J replied, and his smile widened. “It’s not often I get to escort a beautiful young lady home, so it’s nice when I get the chance.”

Rae could feel her face instantly flush at his words.

“Are you surprised that I think you’re beautiful?” He asked as he held her gaze with his.

“I suppose I am,” Rae replied. “I mean, you’re a priest and all.”

“I’m still a man,” he said giving her a warm smile. “I still have eyes.”

Rae just smiled but didn’t reply.

“I can see what’s in front of me,” A.J continued as yet again Rae could feel her cheeks flush under his gaze. “And I can also see when someone is hurting. I can see when someone thinks that running and hiding is the answer.”

Rae opened her mouth to argue, but to her surprise, A.J pressed his finger against her lips and smiled.

“I don’t want to argue with you,” he said as his smile widened. “I want you to go into your home, get yourself ready, and go meet your friend. Hiding away is never the answer Rae. You’re a young woman. It’s time to start living your life again.”

“Okay,” Rae replied with a nod, completely stunned by what he had said.

“Good,” A.J smiled as he reached for the door handle and pushed open the door.

Rae climbed out of the car and watched A.J as he walked around the car to where she was standing.

“Thanks again for driving me home,” Rae said as he handed her the car keys.

“Anytime,” he replied and gave her another grin. “Go have fun. I will see you Monday morning.”

“Okay,” Rae nodded. With one last smile, A.J turned and made his way down the street. Rae stood and watched him until he finally disappeared around the corner.

She smiled as she turned and made her way into her apartment building. There was something about that man that just got to her. She didn’t know why, but she knew that like it or not, A.J would be the one thing that would make her face her past, and maybe even look to her future.