Rae

 

Rae stretched out slowly on the bed, and still the moment she felt A.J next to her. She had believed for a second that the night before had been all just a dream, but now feeling his naked body lying next to hers, she knew it was all very real.

She slowly rolled over in the bed, taking great care not to wake him. She lay there and watched him sleep. He was gorgeous; there was no denying it. She took in every line and every crease of his face; committing it to memory.

Part of her was afraid that when he woke, everything would seem different in the cold light of day. She was beyond terrified that he would regret sleeping with her and that he would never want to see her again, much less speak to her.

“Why are you watching me sleep?” A.J asked suddenly without opening his eyes.

“I wasn’t,” Rae replied but blushed with embarrassment for being caught.

“You’re freaking out again,” A.J said as he suddenly opened his eyes. “Aren’t you.”

“I’m just afraid,” she replied honestly, knowing that there was no point in lying to him now.

“What are you afraid of?” A.J asked giving her a worried look.

“That you would wake up and realise what a giant mistake you made,” Rae sighed, suddenly unable to look him in the eye. “I know this whole thing can’t be easy for you.”

“No it’s not,” A.J admitted, surprising Rae with his honesty. “But that doesn’t mean I regret a single thing. Last night was amazing, and I don’t have one single regret.”

“Oh,” Rae replied, and she couldn’t help but smile at his answer.

A.J leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Just as he did, a loud bang came from somewhere else in the apartment, He instantly froze and gave Rae a worried look.

“RACHEL CATHERINE SULLIVAN!” Daisy’s voice echoed through the apartment, and Rae knew that she was about to come barreling into her room. Without thinking, she jumped up from the bed, and grabbed the throw from the chair next to the bed, then hurried out into the living room. “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

Rae hurried along the hallway, stopping Daisy in her tracks. She had no idea how Daisy would have known about her and A.J already, but clearly, she did.

“I can explain,” Rae said as she took a deep breath, but before she could speak, Daisy continued her rant.

“I was mortified when Kyle arrived at the hospital this morning and told me that you had walked out of the restaurant,” Daisy said, surprising Rae. She had completely forgotten about her disastrous date with the asshole doctor. “He said that you said you would rather be having a milkshake and a hamburger, than sitting there and listen to the crap that was coming out of his mouth.”

Rae couldn’t help but laugh. She had totally forgotten that she was so horrible to him, but he had deserved it if she was being honest.

“It’s not funny!” Daisy exclaimed as she gave her friend an exasperated look. “I had the crappiest night last night; then I had to spend an hour this morning calming Kyle down.”

“Kyle is an arrogant asshole,” Rae sighed, unable to feel sorry for the pathetic excuse for a man that looked down his nose at her. “But I am sorry that it came back on you.”

“What’s going on here?” Daisy said suddenly, as she raised her eyebrows and she gave Rae a questioning look. “Why are you apologising so quickly? I was sure you would freak out at me for fixing you up with him, and I was expecting you to give me hell; why aren’t you more upset? What has happened?”

Rae opened her mouth to argue, but before she could, Daisy looked down and immediately spotted A.J’s clothes on the living room floor.

“What have you done?” Daisy asked giving her friend a questioning look.

“I don’t want you to freak out,” Rae quickly replied, but her heart pounding in her ears made it hard for her to form words, much less a full sentence.

Suddenly her bedroom door opened, and A.J made his way into the living room, draped in just a sheet.

“HOLY FUCK!” Daisy exclaimed and quickly added. “No pun intended.”

Rae groaned and rolled her eyes as she turned back towards A.J, who much to her surprise was chuckling at her friend's comment.

“You had sex with him?”  Daisy asked, turning her attention back to Rae.

“I know you think I’m crazy,” Rae said, hating she had to have this conversation in front of A.J. “I know this is complicated…”

“No shit it’s complicated,” Daisy sighed. “He’s a priest.”

“I know he’s a priest, Daisy. I am painfully aware of that fact,” Rae shot back, unable to hide the irritation from her voice. Rae believed if anyone understood how they felt about each other, it would be her best friend, but her reaction had thrown Rae. “And stop talking about A.J like he isn’t here. He is standing right there.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but holy fuck,” Daisy said yet again, and groaned before she looked at A.J once more. “Again, I’m sorry, no pun intended.”

“Maybe I should go and leave you girls to talk,” A.J said as he cautiously moved across the room, collecting his clothes and being careful that the sheet hid his dignity the whole time.

“You don’t have to leave,” Rae said as she gave A.J an apologetic look. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be here.”

“Actually, I do,” A.J replied, and his face flushed a little with embarrassment. ”I have to do eleven o’clock mass. Stan asked me to fill in for him today with a funeral.”

“I see,” Rae said feeling a little stunned by his reply. Of course, she knew that performing mass was part of what he did, but he had just spent the night with her; he had said he loved her and wanted to be with her. Rae assumed that meant he was picking her, choosing to be with her over being a priest. She had no idea what to think now.

She watched him as he turned and disappeared back into the bedroom.

“Are you okay?” Daisy asked, instantly picking up on her friend sudden uncertainty.

“Yeah,” she replied and forced a smile, but inside she really didn’t know what she was feeling.

“No you’re not,” Daisy said as she walked to her friend and wrapped her arms around her. “It’s okay, Silly girl, I’ve got you.”

Rae didn’t say a word. She just closed her eyes and allowed her friend to hold her tightly, while her mind raced with so many questions.

A few minutes later, Rae heard her bedroom door open up, and she quickly pulled back from her friend. She forced a smile on her face to mask how she was feeling, before she turned to face A.J.

“Do you have everything?” She asked as she tried her hardest to seem okay with what was happening.

“I think so,” he replied, and gave her a nervous smile before he glanced at Daisy.

“I think I am going to go get changed,” Daisy said, before she gave A.J a warm smile. “It was lovely to meet you finally, A.J.”

“You too, Daisy,” A.J replied with a smile. But the moment she disappeared into her bedroom, so did the smile. He took a step towards Rae but stopped before he reached her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she replied simply, not trusting herself to say another word.

“You seem upset,” A.J said as he took another tentative step.

“I’m not upset,” she lied, as she suddenly became aware that she was still just wearing a blanket. She instinctively pulled it tighter around her, as she lowered her eyes from his, unable to look at him anymore.

“Are you upset because I’m leaving?” He asked, and Rae could feel hot tears instantly burn her eyes. She quickly blinked them back, as she shook her head.

“I’m okay,” she replied as she walked past A.J, and headed towards the door. She had opened the door before she turned back to face him. “You should go, or you’re going to be late.”

“I don’t want to leave you like this,” A.J said as he followed her to the door, then stopped in front of her. He reached up and softly took hold of her chin, then tilted her face till she was finally looking at him. “I don’t want to leave you at all.”

“But you have to go,” Rae replied as tears trickled down her face. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” A.J sighed as he gave Rae a worried look. “But I can’t let Stan down. He is counting on me.”

“I understand,” she whispered as she pulled her face from his grasp, and quickly brushed away her tears. The truth was she didn’t understand. If anything she was even more confused now than she had been before their night together.

“Can I come back later?” A.J asked, and Rae was surprised by the uncertainty in his voice.

“I would like that,” she replied and offered him a smile as she allowed her eyes to meet his.

“Then I will see you later,” A.J said as he stepped towards her once more. “And we will talk.”

“Okay,” Rae nodded and smiled once more.

A.J stared down into her face, and Rae knew his mind was working overtime. He leaned down and softly brushed her lips with his.

“Everything will be okay,” A.J assured her. “I promise.”

“I know,” Rae replied as she forced another smile. “I will see you later.”

A.J kissed her once more, then hesitated for a moment before he turned and slowly walked out of the door. Rae took a deep breath before she closed the door behind him. When she did, she pressed her head against the door, as she finally gave into her tears.

She jumped with fright when Daisy suddenly slipped her arms around her and pulled her into an embrace.

“Everything is going to work out,” Daisy whispered as she held Rae tightly. “I promise. Whatever happens, you will get through this, and I will be with you every step of the way.”

“Thanks, Daisy,” Rae sniffed as she looked up at her friend and gave her a grateful smile.

“Now,” Daisy said as she held Rae at arms-length. “Why don’t you go get showered and changed? I will make us both some breakfast, and then you can tell all the juicy bits about you and the good father.”

“Okay,” Rae nodded, and this time her smile was a genuine one, as she turned and hurried towards her bedroom. “I won’t be long.”

When she emerged from her room twenty minutes later, she felt better and ready to talk to her friend.

They both sat at the small table in their kitchen and tucked into their breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon.

Rae was surprised how hungry she was, but then she realised that she hadn’t eaten in almost two days. In fact, she had eaten very little over the last week, and now she felt famished.

“So,” Daisy said as she picked up her tea and took a long sip. “Are you going to tell me how you got from being on a date with asshole Kyle to sleeping with A.J, all in one night?”

“I’m sorry if I made things difficult for you at work,” Rae sighed as she remembered her disastrous date with Doctor Kyle.

“I don’t care about him,” Daisy said as she gave her friend a sad smile. “You’re the one I worry about.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” Rae replied as her appetite suddenly vanished once more.

“But I do,” Daisy sighed as she set down her tea and looked at her friend. “Since you met this guy, you’ve been so unhappy. And now that you’re finally with him, you’re still upset. Talk to me.”

“I just don’t know what to think,” Rae shrugged. “Last night was…it was amazing. He told me that he loved me and that I was what he wanted. The way he made love to me… I have never felt that way before. I don’t know… I guess I thought that meant he had chosen me, but then he has to go…”

“And do the Holy God thing,” Daisy finished her friends thought.

“Am I wrong for being upset?” Rae asked, giving her friend a questioning look. “I mean, how can we be together, and he still be a priest? Does he want to keep me as his dirty little secret, because I don’t know if I can be one? If he loves me, shouldn’t he want to just be with me?”

“Only he can answer that, Sweetie,” Daisy sighed and gave her friend a sad smile. “But I think that you’re right to be upset. You deserve more than to be his mistress and I would make that very clear.”

“Thanks, Daisy,” Rae replied and gave her friend a grateful smile.

“Now tell me,” Daisy said as she leaned forward in her seat and grinned. “How hot was the sex?”

“Oh my God!” Rae groaned and rolled her eyes.

“I bet he made you say that a lot,” Daisy laughed out loud. “Though maybe that was a little weird for him. You know, you’re having sex with him, but you’re shouting out his boss’s name.”

“You’re really not helping, Daisy,” Rae cried, and she dropped her forehead down to the table.

“Oh come on,” Daisy laughed. “You have to see the funny side.”

“You are not nice,” Rae sighed, but she couldn’t hide her smile.

“Then tell me,” Daisy continued. “I want details. Did he make you confess your sins before he slipped it in? OH, MY GOD! Did he bless your vagina before he banged your brains out?”

“Okay, I am done talking to you,” Rae laughed as she stood up from the table. “Go and get some sleep. I am going to go for a walk.”

“You’re no fun,” Daisy sighed as she stood up from the table too and walked around to her friend. “But seriously. If you need to talk, you know I am always here for you.”

“I know,” Rae sighed as she hugged her friend. “And I am so grateful to have you.”

“Right,” Daisy yawned. “I’m off to sleep; I am back in tonight. God, I hate working nights.”

Rae watched her friend as she disappeared down the hallway.

Rae’s smile faded, and once more she thought about A.J. She needed to clear her mind, so after she cleared away the breakfast dishes, she grabbed her keys and headed for the door. She just needed some time and space to clear her mind.