Rae

 

“Do you want me to go through it one more time?”  Calum asked a very distracted Rae as he climbed from the floor of the dance studio once again. “Or should we just call it a day?”

“Hum?” She sighed, but she was miles away. She looked up and saw Calum standing there staring at her, and she blushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, Calum. I guess my mind is elsewhere today.”

“Ms. Sullivan,” he sighed as he walked towards her, and sat down next to her. “Is everything okay; with you and Father Alex I mean?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Rae asked, surprised by the boy’s question.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It’s just, you seem sad all the time lately, and so does he. Plus, he was supposed to come by this morning, and once again he hasn’t shown up.”

“It’s complicated Calum,” Rae replied honestly knowing there was no point in lying to the boy. “I think that maybe, for the time being, it will be best if it’s just us two here.”

“If that’s what you think is best,” Calum shrugged, but Rae could see the disappointment on his face. “Just please, don’t stay angry with him. I don’t like it when you two aren’t friends.”

“I promise I won’t stay angry,” Rae assured the boy. She just hoped that she could keep her word to him.

As if on cue, the door opened, and A.J walked into the room. The moment Rae saw him, she knew something was off with him, but she didn’t know what that was. He looked like he had barely slept, and his two eyes were a little bit bloodshot.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he croaked, as he rubbed his tired eyes. “I slept through the alarm.”

“We were just finishing up,” Rae replied as she stood up and walked to the iPod. She disconnected Calum’s iPod from the dock, then unplugged the doc and slipped it into her bag. The whole time she could feel A.J’s eyes burning into her back.

She had thought he would want to talk to her again, but something about his body language told her that he was not there to talk, and Rae felt a little uncomfortable.

“Ms. Sullivan said she is going to teach me a new routine,” Calum blurted out, and Rae knew he was trying to make the uncomfortable atmosphere a little easier, and it made her feel awful to have put such a sweet boy in that position. “She thinks it will keep things fresh for me; you know, to try new things.”

“Ms. Sullivan seems to be trying a lot of new things these days,” A.J said with a hint of irritation in his voice, and Rae was stunned to see a mean side to this sweet man.

She turned and gave him a questioning look, and was surprised to see the unreadable expression on his face staring back at her.

“Well, we are going to start working on it next week,” Calum continued, but Rae could still hear the discomfort in his voice. “I even get to pick the song. It’s going to be awesome.”

“I can’t wait,” Rae said, giving Calum a warm smile. “And you did amazingly today. You should be very proud of yourself.”

“Thanks, Ms. Sullivan,” Calum replied and gave her a grateful smile. “Will you be at the game today?”

Rae opened her mouth to reply, but before she could get the words out, A.J answered for her.

“I don’t think so, Cal,” he replied coldly without even looking at Rae. “Ms. Sullivan has a prior engagement. As I said, she is trying a lot of new things lately. We should be lucky she still wants to be here.”

Rae’s heart pounded in her chest, as she gave A.J a hurt look as his eyes met hers.

She couldn’t believe that the sweet man that drove around the school while she cried was the same man standing in front of her. She never thought that he could be as cold and cruel as he just was to her.

Rae knew she was going to cry, but she knew she shouldn’t break down in front of Calum.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, as she turned back to where she had left her bag and picked it up before she turned back and smiled at Calum.

“I will see you on Monday, Calum,” she said and coughed softly to clear the emotion from her voice. “Good luck with the game today, I will be thinking of you all.”

“Ms. Sullivan,” Calum said as she walked towards the door, stopping her before she left. Rae turned back towards the boy, and avoided making eye contact with A.J. “I’m sure that Father Alex didn’t mean…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, and Rae knew that the boy was just as surprised with A.J’s behaviour as she was.

“I’m sure Father Alex knows exactly what he means,” Rae replied and gave Calum another smile, before she turned back towards the door, and walked out without looking at A.J.

“Rae!” A.J called out as he followed her from the dance studio, but Rae just ignored him. “RAE!”

This time she spun around and closed the distance between them instantly and pinned him with a look that told him she meant what she was saying.

“You don’t get to talk to me like that,” Rae growled at him as she looked up into his face. “I have given you enough chances, but you blew them every time. So I am moving on.”

“I’m sorry…” A.J began to say, but Rae cut him off before he could finish.

“No! Do not say you’re sorry,” she whispered as she stepped closer to him. “You do not get to ease your conscience this time. I want you just to stay the hell away from me. You are no longer welcome in my dance studio, Father Parrish.”

Before A.J could reply, Rae turned and headed off down the corridor towards her classroom. By the time she reached the safety of her class, tears were trickling down her face, but she refused to cry. She pushed her emotions back down inside her. She was not giving Alex Parrish another moment of her time.

She quickly wiped away her tears and focused on preparing for the day ahead.

“Would you like to select the wine,” Kyle asked as he sat across the table from Rae.

“Sure,” she replied and offered him a smile that she really didn’t feel. Kyle seemed like a lovely guy, but Rae would have loved to be anywhere but there.

When Daisy came home from work on Wednesday evening and told Rae that she had arranged a date for her on Friday, her first instinct was to cancel. She knew that she had no real interest in dating anyone, but she also knew that her friend would have been upset if she blew the guy off, so she agreed to go through with it. Now she wished she had listened to her gut instinct and cancelled, but it was too late now.

After her run in with A.J earlier that day, the last thing she wanted was to have to go on a date, but part of her was determined to show him that she could date whoever she wanted.

However, now that she was sitting there in front of this perfectly lovely man, all she could think about was A.J, and her heart was breaking all over again. She was hurt by his behaviour, and completely thrown too. She had never imagined that he could have ever been so cold towards her. Still, there was something deep inside her that knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her, and that maybe he was hurting too.

But none of that changed the fact he was someone that she could never have, no matter how much she wanted him. Rae just wished that she could push him out of her mind, even for just one evening.

She hated that she couldn’t even go to the game that afternoon. When she was leaving the school, she could already feel the buzz building, but she just couldn’t go and face A.J. She had told him to stay away from her, so she felt that she needed to do the same thing for him.

“Rae!” Kyle said, and Rae blushed when she realised that he was still waiting for her to select a bottle of wine.

“Sorry,” she replied, as she returned her focus to the wine list and quickly picked a bottle.

“Are you okay?” He asked once the waitress had left them alone once more. “You seem a little distracted.”

“Yep,” she replied and forced a smile on her face, as she tried to push all thoughts of A.J from her mind. “It’s just been a long day.”

“I can imagine,” Kyle said, as he sipped his glass of water. “I don’t know how anyone works with kids. Horrible creatures.”

“You don’t like kids?” Rae said a little thrown by his comment.

“I suppose they’re okay,” he shrugged as he set his glass back down. “I mean maybe I would feel differently if it was my own child, but to be honest, I can’t imagine spending every day with someone else’s snot nosed kids. When they come into the emergency room, I try my best to avoid them.”

“I actually work with teenagers,” Rae replied, completely unimpressed with Doctor Kyle and his small minded attitude. She thought about the conversation she had with Stan the night of the basketball game; about how kids needed people that would go the extra mile for them. A.J always went the extra mile. Despite everything that had happened between them, she knew that he was still a good man. A better man than the pitiful excuse that was sitting in front of her right at that moment.

She imagined A.J sitting in the diner with all the kids from the basketball team. She wondered if they won their game.

“God!” He exclaimed with a laugh as the waitress arrived back with the wine. “How can you stand it?”

“I think some of the kids are actually pretty damn awesome,” she replied before she turned to the waitress who was about to open their wine. “I think you’d better take that back. I don’t think we will be drinking it tonight.”

“Miss?” The waitress said, giving Rae a confused look.

“What are you talking about?” Kyle asked, as he too gave Rae a look of confusion.

“Look,” Rae said as she set her napkin down and pushed her chair back a little. “I could sit here and pretend to enjoy myself. Let you pay for a meal that is way too overpriced and a bottle of wine that is really not worth eighty dollars. But we both know that this night is going to end with you dropping me home and me promising that we would do this again, when the truth is, I don’t think you and I would ever work.”

Kyle opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again without saying a word.

“The truth is,” Rae said as she stood up and picked up her handbag. “Right now, I would rather be having a milkshake and a hamburger, than sitting here and listen to the crap that is coming out of your mouth.”

“I see,” Kyle said as his face flushed with embarrassment as he set his napkin down too. “I will take you home…”

“It’s okay,” Rae said quickly before he could stand up. “I think I know my way home.”

Without saying another word, she turned and headed for the exit, feeling more than a little shocked she had just done what she had.

When she left the restaurant, a rumble of thunder told her that rain was on the way.

She walked to the kerb and waved down a passing cab just as big, heavy drops of rain began to hit the pavement.

She quickly climbed into the cab, and ten minutes later; she had no idea why, but she was climbing out of the cab outside the diner, just as the rain began to fall heavier.

“Do you want me to wait?” The driver asked as Rae paid him his fare.

“No, thank you,” she replied as she pushed open the door and climbed out of the car. “This is where I am meant to be.”

She closed the door and hurried towards the building in front of her. As she reached the glass, double doors, she spotted A.J sitting at one of the tables in the middle of all the kids from the team, and she watched them for a moment.

The kids were all full of energy, clearly celebrating and Rae smiled knowing that the team had won again. Her eyes, however, were drawn to A.J, and even though he was smiling, she could see that his smile didn’t reach his eyes. He looked a little lost sitting there, and she knew that she was the reason he was the way he was.

As another flash of lightening lit up the night sky, Rae knew that being there was a mistake. She needed to talk to A.J, but she couldn’t do that here, in front of the whole team.

Rae watched A.J for a few more moments before she turned and began to walk away. She had no idea where she was going; she just needed to walk and clear her head.

By the time she finally got back to her apartment over an hour later, she was completely soaked, but she really didn’t care. She pulled her keys from her pocket and was just about to make her way up the steps when she looked up and saw A.J standing there, looking as wet and miserable as she was.