Rae

 

A little after four, Rae climbed onto the bleachers and found a seat among the screaming crowd. The game was already underway, and Saint Mike’s were six points ahead of the other team. Once Rae was seated, she scanned the huge crowd in the gymnasium for A.J.

The moment she spotted him, she smiled to herself. He was at the far side of the court, running up and down, shouting instructions at his team.

It struck Rae as fascinating that the man who had taken her home the week before; the same kind and caring soul that seemed so determined to take care of her and be her friend, could be the same man that was now almost jumping out of his skin on the sideline.

Suddenly the buzzer sounded that signalled the end of the first quarter. A.J quickly gathered his team around him and began to talk excitedly, and very animatedly. Once more this made Rae smile to herself.

“I see you made it to the game,” Father Stannis said as he sat down next to Rae on the bleachers. “It’s good for the teachers to show their support to the kids; helps build a better morale in the school.”

“Some of the team is in my class,” Rae replied as she continued to watch the team huddle around A.J. “I thought I would come and check them out.”

“I’m sure they will be grateful,” Stan said, and Rae could hear the amusement in his voice.

She turned and looked at him, unsure of what he found entertaining with what she had said. A sudden sickening feeling settled inside Rae as the thought occurred to her that maybe Father Stannis could somehow sense that she liked A.J, or at least she had before she realised that he was a priest too.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a smile as he leaned into her, clearly sensing her uncertainty. “It’s just you seem to have made quite an impression on a lot of the kids in your class. You are quickly becoming one of their favourite teachers. You may even knock A.J off the top spot.”

“I’m sorry… I…” Rae struggled for what she should say.

“There’s no need to be sorry,” Stan quickly cut in and laughed. “I think it’s great. A lot of these kids come from homes where both parents have careers, and quite often they are left home alone, some are almost forgotten about. Well, until their report card comes in, then the parents become super involved, demanding to know why Junior is flunking a class or two.”

“That sounds awful,” Rae sighed as she turned and looked around the gymnasium at the faces of the many kids sitting there, happily supporting their team. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to learn to take care of yourself at such a young age. Growing up, her mother had always been waiting for her and her brothers when they arrived home from school. If she was completely honest, it was something she had just taken for granted, but over the years she had come to realise just how fortunate she was.

“It is awful,” Stan sighed and nodded. “That’s why teachers like you, or A.J down there…”

Rae turned and followed Stan’s gaze to where A.J was standing, and as if on cue, he looked up and when his eyes met Rae’s, he smiled.

“Teachers like you are so important to these kids,” he continued. “They need people who care and take an interest. Teachers that will go that extra step.”

Rae instantly thought about the kid that wanted to be a dancer. She certainly wasn’t going that extra step for him. But A.J was. A.J was trying to help him even though he knew there was very little he could actually do.

Rae dropped her gaze to her hands as a wave of guilt washed over her. She hated that she was so weak; she hated what Dean had done to her.

“Are you okay, Rae?” Stan asked, clearly sensing a change in Rae’s demeanour.

“Yeah,” she replied as she looked up at Stan and forced a smile on her face. She wondered if A.J had told him about her dancing, and also that she had refused to help the boy that wanted to go to Juilliard. “I was just thinking…”

Before she could finish the sentence, the buzzer sounded once more, and another huge roar erupted, as once more the crowd was back on their feet.

The rest of the game passed by quickly and Rae was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. But it was more than just the basketball game. It was the atmosphere, the feeling of belonging to something bigger. It was something Rae hadn’t felt in such a long time.

When the final buzzer sounded, the roar in the gymnasium was deafening. Saint Mike’s had won by ten points, and the whole place seemed to buzz with excitement.

Rae stood and watched A.J as he and his team celebrated, and she couldn’t help but smile at just how happy he looked. When his eyes finally met hers, his smile widened and Rae could feel a pull in the pit of her stomach.

He’s a priest; she admonished herself in her mind. We’re friends, that’s all. That’s all I need, anyway.

“What a game!” Stan exclaimed from next to Rae, pulling her from her thoughts. Rae turned and smiled once more when she saw the look of pride on his face. “This is our year, I can feel it.”

“The team is pretty amazing,” Rae agreed as Stan gestured for her to walk down the steps of the bleachers before him. As they both reach the hardwood floor of the gym, they were joined by a very happy A.J.

“You made it,” he said as he reached Rae. “The kids will be thrilled.”

“I’m glad I did,” Rae replied honestly. “The team played amazingly.”

“They really did,” A.J beamed before he turned his attention to Father Stannis. “So, Boss, what do you think?”

“I think this is our year, A.J,” Stan replied with a broad smile. “You have really taken them so far, son. I’m very proud of you all.”

Something in the way Stannis spoke to A.J piqued Rae’s curiosity. There was an interesting relationship between the two men; almost like a father and son. Rae couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew there was definitely a connection between the two men, more than employee and employer.

“I should be going,” Stan said as he looked down at his watch. “I have a board meeting tonight, and I can’t be late again.”

A.J laughed, and Rae knew there was a joke she was missing.

“Well done again,” Stan beamed at A.J. “Tell the team they have done the school, very proud.”

“I will,” A.J replied before Stan disappeared into the crowd. A.J turned back to Rae and smiled. “So, did you enjoy the game?”

“I did,” Rae replied and gave him a warm smile. “The team is pretty awesome. I think you guys are going to go far.”

“I’m taking the team for milkshakes in a little while. It’s kind of a tradition now,” A.J replied, then the smile widened on his face. “Why don’t you join us, I know the guys would love you to come.”

“Oh I don’t know, I…” Rae began to protest, but A.J stopped her.

“Please,” he pleaded with her. “I think you will enjoy it. They are good kids, and I know they would be thrilled if you came along. It’s good to get to know them better. Well, I think so, anyway.”

Rae looked at him for a moment as her mind raced. She knew she should just politely say no, and make some kind of excuse. She needed to keep some distance between them, even if A.J seemed determined to make that impossible. But there was something inside her that stopped her. Something in A.J’s eyes that she simply couldn’t say no to.

“Okay,” she replied and smiled, even though she knew it was the wrong thing to do. She tried to reason that she was going to support the team, but she knew in her heart it was way more than that. She liked the idea of hanging out with A.J. It was that simple.

“Great!” A.J exclaimed happily and gave her the biggest smile she had ever seen.

Rae agreed to give a couple of the kids a ride to the diner. She told A.J she would wait in her car for them, before she headed to the parking lot, still asking herself what the hell she was doing.

While she sat there, she asked herself a thousand times if she had lost her mind completely. The more she thought about, the more she realised that nothing about this was a good idea. She was breaking every rule she had about getting too involved with students or other teachers. This was not going to end well; she knew it.

Rae had just about talked herself out of going when there was a soft tap on the window. She looked up and was surprised to see A.J standing there alone.

“Hey!” He said as he pulled open the car door and sat in the passenger seat. “The boys all have a ride to the diner, so I guess it’s just you and me.”

“Okay,” Rae replied and gave him a smile as she started the engine and tried her hardest to ignore that her heart was now almost pounding out of her chest.

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR FREAKING MIND! She screamed silently to herself.

A.J gave her directions to the diner, then chatted away happily for the whole journey, but Rae didn’t hear a word he said. Her mind was racing with so many things, and she just wished she had stuck to her guns when she had said no in the first place.

When they arrived at the diner, Rae followed A.J in through the doors and was hit with a wall of noise. The team had taken up the back half of the diner, and they were in celebration mode.

“Father Alex!” One of the boy’s exclaimed when he spotted A.J making his way towards the table, and the rest of the group began to cheer and chant when they turned and seen him too. It was still weird for Rae to hear someone call A.J that, and it was a sharp reminder that she and him could never happen.

“Okay, okay,” A.J said with a grin. “Settle down, or you will have us thrown out.”

This comment was met with louder cheers, and A.J laughed.

“Hey, Ms. Sullivan,” one of the kids said as he stood up and gave Rae a smile. Rae recognised him from her English class, and she was almost positive his name was Reece. “You can sit here.”

“Thank you,” Rae said as she reluctantly slid into the booth next to another boy she recognised, but whose name she wasn’t sure of. She was suddenly aware she was surrounded by a lot of tall young men, and she had no idea what she should even say to them.

“Ms. S,” the boy that was sitting across from her said as he leaned forward in his seat. “What did you think of the game?”

“I thought you were all amazing,” Rae replied with a smile as she looked around the group. “That other team never stood a chance.”

Her comment was met with a loud cheer, and Rae couldn’t help but smile.

“Right,” A.J shouted over the noise. “Hamburgers and shakes all around? Who’s going to help me?”

“I will,” two of the boys said in unison, as they both stood up.

“How long will you be at the school, Ms. Sullivan?” The boy next to the boy in front of her asked.

Rae didn’t recognise him from her class, but she remembered him from the game, and he was a pretty awesome basketball player.

“Till the summer, I think,” Rae replied and smiled. “I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“I’m Calum,” he replied and offered her his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Calum,” Rae replied as a tiny stab of guilt pierced her heart as she shook his hand. This was the kid.

“Cal is our star player,” Reece said from next to Rae. “He is going all the way. NBA baby.”

This was greeted with a loud cheer, and to the casual observer, you could have taken Calum’s reaction as just modesty, but Rae could see in his eyes that it was more than that, and she knew exactly what it was.

Before she could respond, A.J and the other boys returned to the table with Milkshakes and burgers for everyone.

Despite her initial reservations, Rae found she enjoyed herself with the team. They were a good group of kids, and she liked them all. By the time it was time to leave, some of the kids were calling her Sully, and despite A.J’s disapproval, Rae actually thought it was funny.

“That was more fun than I had thought it was going to be,” Rae said as she walked back to her car with A.J. “They’re a great bunch of guys.”

“They are a handful,” A.J laughed and nodded his head. “But they are good kids.”

“Yes, they are,” Rae smiled as she glanced sideways at A.J. “You mean a lot to them.”

“They mean a lot to me too,” A.J said as he looked over and let his eyes meet Rae’s. “I don’t have a family, so these kids are all I have.”

“They are lucky to have you,” Rae said and gave him a sad smile. She thought of her own family, and her heart longed to see them all. She missed them every day; she just couldn’t live back in Dublin.

“Are you close to your family?” A.J asked as he watched her closely.

“Yeah,” Rae replied as she pulled her keys from her pocket and unlocked the car. “It’s hard being so far away from them. I talk to them regularly, but I needed to do my own thing. It’s complicated.”

“I can understand that,” A.J said as he stopped next to the car. He gave Rae a look that almost took her breath away. There was a sadness in his eyes that almost broke her heart and she wondered if he knew more about her past than just her dancing.

 “Can I drop you home?” Rae asked as she turned and opened the car door, suddenly feeling very exposed and vulnerable.

“I think I will walk,” A.J replied with a smile as Rae turned back to him. “It’s a nice evening.”

“I don’t mind,” Rae said feeling almost relieved that he had declined her offer.

“I know,” A.J shrugged, then smiled again. “I’m glad you came tonight. The boys enjoyed having you here.”

“So did I,” Rae replied honestly. A.J smiled and nodded, then said goodnight, before he turned and began to walk away.

“I’ll help him,” Rae called out after him, not only surprising A.J but herself too. “Calum, I mean. I will teach him.”

“I knew you would,” A.J replied as he turned back and gave her a knowing smile.

“Did you now?” Rae laughed.

“You have a good heart, Rachel Sullivan,” A.J replied matter of factly. “And it’s bigger than whatever darkness that fills your soul.”

“You don’t want to know what’s in my soul,” Rae sighed sadly.

“Maybe I do,” A.J smiled as he raised his hand in a wave. “Goodnight, Rae. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you then,” Rae said with a smile.

She watched him as he walked away before she climbed into her car. She sighed to herself as she started the engine. Rae had no idea why A.J got under her skin the way he did, but she knew she was playing with fire, and if she wasn’t careful, she was going to get burned.