Hawk
I rush towards the nurse's station, worried that something more is going on with Sam. “What happened to Sam?”
Martha closes a clipboard before she looks at me. “I’m not sure. Tessa didn’t say anything. She was upset and told me that she had to go. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that.”
“What can you help with me?”
She points towards Rose’s room. “She’s awake, and I think it’s time. I’m due for my break, so I’ll go in with you.”
A lumps forms in my throat. I’m not sure I can take another incident.
“Come on, big bad biker dude. Let’s go see your mama.” She gestures for me to lead, so I walk towards my mother’s room.
“You’re certain about this?” I ask.
“Yes, sir. She’s ready. She knows it was you that was here yesterday.” She steps forward and pushes the door open.
The room is brighter than it usually is. The television is on low. Rose lies in her bed, with her head turned away from the door, looking out the window. When she doesn’t respond to us entering the room, I grab Martha’s arm.
“I don’t want to disturb her,” I say in hushed tones.
“You can’t disturb me if I’m not doing anything, Hawking.” Rose turns her head in my direction, giving me a small smile.
“How are you doing today, Rose?” Martha asks as she enters the room, leaving me just inside the room.
“I’m good as to be expected. Detox is a bitch.”
Martha shakes her head while she chuckles. “You gave Hawk quite a scare yesterday.” She raises Rose’s bed, so she’s sitting up more.
“Well, think of it from my perspective,” she says matter of factly. “I’m not going to bite, son.” She looks at me with a lifted brow.
I’ve spent the better part of my life hating this woman. Thinking that she didn’t love me enough to either stick around or take me with her. It’s crazy how a few pieces of information can change that viewpoint. Now, I don’t feel any judgment towards her.
Martha takes a step back, allowing me enough room to stand next to Rose’s bed. “Let me look at you,” she says. She grasps her hands together, bringing them to her mouth slightly to cover a smile. “Wow, you’re bigger than I remember,” she jokes, but it makes my heart stop.
“It’s the alcohol, sugar,” Martha whispers in my ear as Rose continues to smile at me. “Her brain isn’t fully functioning. It’s called alcohol dementia. Studies show that she’ll get better as long as she continues to stay sober. If she doesn’t, it’s like feeding the dragon.”
“How’ve you been? Tell me what you’ve been up to?” She pats her blanket as she adjusts herself in the bed.
I look at Martha for guidance. “He’s well, Rose. Aren’t’cha, Hawk?”
“Yes,” I answer as I look at my mother. “I’m doing great. The MC is good.”
“The MC? What are you talking about? You’re not old enough to be in the MC.”
“He’s old enough, Rose. You seem to have forgotten how old Hawk is, sweetie.”
Rose looks confused. She starts to adjust in her bed more, her mouth gasping for air as panic shines in her eyes. “Mom,” I say as I place my hand on her arm. She looks down at our connection and then back to me. “I’m twenty-eight.”
She wrinkles her eyes as she continues to stare at me. “Of course, you’re twenty-eight. I know how old my firstborn child is. Speaking of which, have you seen your sisters?”
I roll my lips together, not knowing how to answer. “They'll by later, Mom,” I tell her.
“Good. That’s good.” She brings her other hand over and pats it on top of my hand that’s still gripping her arm.
“That Loa, she’s a smart cookie. Doesn’t take no one’s shit. But Rhea, my sweet baby Rhea.” She shakes her head and sighs. “She needs the guidance of the Lord, that one. She dances with the devil too much. Your daddy would tan her hide if he knew what she’s been up to. Partying and drinking, breaking all kinds of laws, that one. Wild child if I ever saw one.” She stops and yawns. “She needs her big brother. You’re the only one who can straighten that girl out.” She turns her head and looks at me, the stressors of life etched in her face. “You’ll do that, right? You’ll be there for her?”
I swallow and nod. Unable to make out words.
“That’s my good boy,” she says with another sigh. “I love you, Hawking.” Her hand falls limply from mine as her chest rises and falls in steady breaths.
I stand, pushing the chair from beneath me. “Jesus, Christ.” I grab the back of my neck as I pace. “What was that shit?” I ask as I gesture to the now sleeping Rose.
“That’s dementia, 101. Alcohol dementia isn’t unlike normal dementia. She has her good days and her bad. There could be times where she knows what day it is or times when she thinks she’s somewhere else in time. Like now.”
“That’s some freaky shit,” I confess.
“That it is. But your mother should get better. With every day that passes, her mind should become clearer. Her brain scans show no permanent scarring, which is lucky in her case since she’s been a heavy drinker for over twenty years.”
“Fuck, Martha, I told her that I’d look after a sister that I’ve never met.”
“Don’t take that stuff too much to heart. She may not remember asking you to look after her. Hell, she may not remember this entire conversation. You’ll just have to come back and see.” She checks her watch. “Baby, I gotta get back to my rounds. You all right in here?”
I slide my hand in my back pockets. “Ah, I think I’ll head to Tessa’s and check on her and Sam.”
“Can I ask you something?” Her brows crease, and when I nod they don’t seem to let up. “You okay with everything you know in regard to Tessa?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I know what happened to that sweet girl all those years ago, and I know what she’s been through to get to where she is today and how hard she struggles to keep everything together for her and that boy. He’s a miracle.” She places her hands on her hip. “No matter how he came about, that boy is a miracle.”
“I’m glad something good came out of something so terrible.”
“Honey, nothing was supposed to come out of that. You know Tessa was told her entire life that she wouldn’t be able to carry a child. Not after her cancer when she was born.”
I feel the color drain from my face. What the fuck? Then it hits me, the comments that Bianca was making about it not being possible.
“Oh dear.” She touches my shoulder, making me jump, “You didn’t know? I thought you knew. Lord have mercy, I thought you knew.”
I pull my shoulder from her grip, allowing my feet to carry me to my truck because there’s only one place I need to be and that’s with Tessa.