Tessa
“When’s Hawk going to be back?” Sam asks as he colors at the kitchen table.
My throat tightens as I swallow down emotion. I know that Sam’s missing him just as much as I am and it’s only been two days since he left. “As soon as he’s done doing what he needs to do, he’ll come back,” I tell him as I chop the vegetables I’m using for dinner. The smaller I cut them up, the less likely Sam will complain about having to eat them.
“Why does he have to do anything back there when he’s always here?”
“Because people need him back home.” I dump the cutting board of veggies into the pan instantly hearing them sizzle.
He stops coloring and looks at me. “But don’t we need him here?”
I wipe my hands on the towel hanging over my shoulder. “I don’t think we need him. I think you and me do pretty well on our own, but I think we like having him here.”
I’m not comfortable admitting to my son, or myself for that matter, that my feelings of liking him are turning into more of a sense of want and need. I haven’t, in all of my adult life, been dependent on anyone, and other than Sam, there isn’t a single person who I need in my life.
“I do like having him here.”
Sam goes back to his coloring, which I’m thankful for. I’m not sure what’s going on with Hawk and me. I’m not going to ask him to stay here with us when his life and the club are back in New Mexico–And there’s no way I’m ever going back there. I can’t live with those demons.
I’m setting the timer on the oven when I hear a knock at the door. My body stiffens because I’m not expecting anyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s not Croy. Since Hawk’s been around, I haven’t made the time for him like I usually do. I haven’t needed him to grab Sam at all because Hawk’s been the first one to volunteer when I’ve needed a hand.
“Stay here, baby,” I tell Sam as I pat the top of his head. When I peer through the peephole my heart lodges in my throat when I see who’s at my door. Hawk’s words come back from the other night. The facts, the warnings. The reasons why I should stay away from Phil. I drop down to my toes and squeeze my eyes tight, hoping that he didn’t hear anything, and I can pretend we aren’t home.
“Tessa?” He knocks again, only harder this time. The pounding makes me jump. Of course, he knows I’m home. If Hawk’s right, then he knows. My gaze flicks to the doorknob, and I see that I forgot to lock it once Sarah left today. Stupid.
“Hey!” a man’s voice shouts from outside. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I take a hesitant step towards the door and place my ear to the wood.
“I’m here to see a friend.” That’s Phil’s voice.
“The fuck you are. You need to leave.”
“What? What are you talking about? This is my apartment building. I have every right to be here.”
A cold shiver runs through my body. Hawk was right. Phil owns my apartment complex.
“I don’t give a fuck who you are, or what you own. You need to leave. Now. My buddy isn’t going to take too kindly to you screwing with his woman.”
“Mommy?” Sam’s voice has me spinning around. I place my finger in front of my lips to tell him that he needs to be quiet.
Phil’s voice grows louder because I can hear him even though I’m no longer leaning against the door. “Your friend has no say in what–”
My body tenses when Phil’s voice is cut off. I can hear slight gurgles and grunts from my porch. When those sounds start to drift away, I pull the blinds away from the window that’s next to the front door to see if I can see anything. There’s a large van idling on the street in front of my apartment, but the side door slides closed before I can see anyone or anything. The van revs the engine and screeches down the street.
I stand back from the window and let the blinds fall from my fingers. “Can you grab my phone from the counter and bring it to me?” I ask from over my shoulder. Sam nods and takes off, returning seconds later with my phone in his hand.
After I take the phone, I grab him by the arm and pull him to me. “Why don’t you finish coloring? Dinner will be done soon.” I feel him nod his head against my stomach before going back towards the kitchen. My fingers tremble as I pull up Hawk’s number.
“Tessa?”
“Phil was just here,” I say as I slowly sit on my couch.
Expletives explode from the other end. “Tessa, what happened?”
“He came knocking, or more like pounding on the door, calling my name. But then someone came up to him. They kinda got into it, and then Phil was gone.” I take a breath and swallow. “I couldn’t see what happened, but I heard a struggle. By the time I got to the window to see, a van was pulling away.”
“I need you to make sure every door and window is locked. Can you do that?” His voice is controlled, but I can hear a hint of panic. “I don’t want you to open the door for anyone, do you hear me? I’ll make some calls and have it checked out. Fuck. I hate that I’m not there. I can’t get back there any time soon. There’s too much up in the air. Too much uncertainty and I need to wait it out.”
“Okay. I’m sure we’ll be fine. I’m sure it was nothing. Maybe Phil got spooked or took the other guy’s warning and went home. I–I won’t speak to him if he shows up anywhere. And I’ll let Sam’s school know not to allow him to leave with anyone.”
“Fuck–okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Keep your phone on you, and call 911 if something doesn’t feel right, yeah?”
“Yeah, all right. I will.”
“All right.”
The line goes dead before I have a chance to say good-bye.