Tessa
I submerge the dirty glasses into the soapy water, making sure the brushes attached to the sink scrub them clean. This is something I do every night before we open. I’m not dumb. I know there are bugs all around. This is a bar, in Los Angeles, so I clean the glassware that was just cleaned the night before.
“You know, I can do that for you?” Croy says as I pull the glasses out and drop them into the next sink of running water.
“It’s not a problem,” I tell him, and I continue on with my task. “You can always head in the back and pull the bottles we’re low on here.”
“You’re getting out of breath, Tessa. You don’t need to be doing all the manual labor.”
“It’s fine, and it’s part of my job.”
He grabs my hand, stopping my movement. “Maybe you need to cut back on some hours. I think you’re burning the candle at both ends. You’ve lost weight, you’re pale. I mean, you’re flushed from washing glasses for crying out loud.”
He’s right. I haven’t been able to kick whatever I’ve caught. It’s not your typical cold or flu. I’m just fatigued, a constant dull headache, and sometimes even dizzy. I pull my arm from his grip and turn to face him. “Yeah, cut my hours? I have two weeks, Croy. Two weeks to come up with the money to put down as a deposit on the apartment I found.”
I’ve been looking for two weeks for a place for Sam and me. After seeing dump after dump, I finally found something. It’s three towns over, but it’s in my price range, and I don’t fear for my life in the neighborhood. I’ve taken on an extra shift at both of my jobs because the apartment complex that I’m vacating informed me when I called the next day that I had lived there too long, so I wasn’t able to get my full deposit back—money that I was counting on to help with the new place.
“I told you that I’d give you the money, woman. Christ, Tessa why do you have to be so thick-headed all the time? You don’t need all this.”
“I don’t want your charity, Croy. You’ve given me enough. I’d like to keep some of my dignity.”
“Then move in with me. Move back. I’ll charge you what you’re paying now.”
That’s another thing about this new apartment: when I said I could afford it, I meant barely. It’s one hundred dollars more a month. I’m losing a bedroom, so Sam and I will have to share for a while, and I’ll be spending more money in gas getting to and from my jobs and Sam’s school since I don’t want to move his district. Plus, Sarah is still okay to watch Sam, but only at her place.
“I can’t do that.”
“You can’t or won’t?”
The night Hawk left flashes in my mind as soon as those words spill from his mouth. “Croy, I wouldn’t want to do that to you. Do you know how guilty I feel for everything you’ve done for me since before Sam was born? I can’t keep leaning on you.”
He takes a step towards me and lowers his voice. “What if I want you to, Tessa?”
“Croy.” I take a step back. I don’t feel right. He looks so far away even though I can tell he’s standing right next to me. Cold sweat rolls through my body. My mouth waters like I’m going to be sick.
“Tessa?” He takes another step towards me, lifting his arm towards me.
Before he reaches me, spots cloud my vision, and everything goes black.