Hawk
Sin: Nothing new on Louie Sr. Cut gave Jr., his daughter on the word that he’ll turn his father over once he has sights on him.
The text has me shocked. I can’t believe Cut would give Louie Jr. his daughter without getting what’s owed to us, and that’s Louie Sr. I haven’t heard from Dyke yet on who was involved in the attack. Sin hasn’t once mentioned it to me, so that tells me that Dyke is keeping it to himself. The fewer people who know, the better. I trust my brothers one hundred percent, but I’m sure they’re going to object to what I have planned for the fuckers who took from Tessa that day.
“Everything all right?” Tessa asks from across the table. She suggested a local pizza joint down the street from her apartment so Sam can play games while she and I talk.
“Yeah, just club stuff.” I flip my phone over face down on the table. I’m not about to bring up the Diablos. She’ll never need to know what I’ve got planned for those fuckers. She doesn’t need that shit on her shoulders, and I’m more than happy to bear the weight.
“How is everything going back to New Mexico?”
“You mean back home?”
“It hasn’t been my home for a long time, Hawk. That’s not going to change.”
“What if I tell you that you wouldn’t ever have to live in fear if you came back home? I’d make sure of it.”
“I wouldn’t ask that of you. Besides, growing up, I never once thought I was in danger. I never saw myself as a target. I wasn’t a Sinclair. I wasn’t an old lady, or family to anyone in the club. I was a no one, insignificant in the turf war, but that didn’t matter in the end. I was hurt. I was affected by the club’s life, and I wouldn’t want to wish that on anyone, especially my child. I can never go back, and Sam will never know of that place. He’ll never know of how he came to be. My son will only know love.”
I scoot closer, leaning into her so no one, mainly Sam, has the chance to hear my words. “What are you going to do when Sam wants to know who his father is?” My gaze falls to the little boy in question. He’s still playing a racing game, and I know I’ve given him enough tokens to keep him busy. “What are you going to say? That he didn’t want to stick around? How is that going to show Sam that he was made out of love?”
“He’s almost seven, you don’t think he hasn’t asked? That’s a weekly question.”
“And what’s your answer?”
“That not everyone has both parents, and he happens to be one of them.”
“That’s a very vague answer.”
“Yeah, well it works for now, so I’m not going to change it. Besides, Cory has always been there for Sam when he’s needed it. Sam hasn’t been without.”
“Except for being able to call someone dad.”
“You and I both know that calling someone by ‘mom’ or ‘dad’ doesn’t make them that.”
I sit back, thinking about what she said, and she’s right. Her mother gave birth to her, and when she needed her mom the most, Gloria turned her back on her. How can a mother do that? For most of my life, I’ve thought my mother had done the same thing, but the information I now know suggests otherwise. My father might be the reason why she left me. It might have been him that drove her away from me, and that’s something that I’ll never be able to forgive him for. Dead or not, he robbed me of my mother. How could I still claim him as my father and be proud to be his son if those things were true?
“You’re right.”
“Mom.” Sam comes walking up with that douchebag from the bar Tessa works at.
“Sam?” Tessa’s face pales as she shoots from the booth making me follow right behind her. “Phil, what are you doing?” She reaches out and grabs Sam by the shoulder, placing him at her side.
“I saw him in the other room trying to win stuffed animals from the claw game.”
I swear I just looked at him and saw him playing not ten feet away from us. “He gave me money,” Sam says.
“What happened to the money I gave you?” I ask Sam but keep my eyes trained on Phil.
“I still have some left. I’m going to play some more.” He tries to pull from Tessa’s grip, but she doesn’t allow him to move.
“No,” Tessa says. “You’re sitting down because our pizza should be here any moment.”
I feel Sam’s body brush past mine as he takes a seat. “Listen,” I grit, keeping my voice low. “I don’t know what you’re playing at here.” I take a step towards him, and the fucker doesn’t make a move. He has no clue who the fuck he’s messing with. “But you need to keep away from Tessa and Sam. I’m not going to tell you again.”
He smirks. “Hey, I was only passing by. It was a coincidence, nothing more, nothing less.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
“Anyway…” He completely ignores me and looks at Tessa. “I noticed Sam’s lip. I hope everything’s all right.” His eyes flick to mine and then back to Tessa. Fuck no.
“It’s fine, Phil. Besides, this isn’t your place. Like, at all,” Tessa says.
“Just looking out for a friend and her son.”
“We aren’t friends, Phil. I don’t even know you.”
“I’ve made an effort to change that, Tessa, and you told me you don’t date. Yet here you are, with this guy.” He juts his thumb in my face. “The same guy from the bar, so by the looks of it, you do date.”
Tessa opens her mouth, I’m sure to defend herself, but I’m done with this guy.
“Enough, Phil, we’re done here. You can go now.” I reach my arm between Tessa and Phil, turning her body towards the booth which Sam’s still sitting in, watching us. As soon as she’s sitting down, I scoot my body next to her. I do this for two reasons. One, I don’t want that fucker getting close to her. And two, I want to have my eyes towards the front of the restaurant, so I can see who’s coming and going. Something isn’t right with this guy, and I’ll be damned if he tries to get sneaky with Tessa and Sam.
“Why are you sitting next to my mom?” Sam asks from the opposite the booth.
“Because we’re friends. Friends sit together, don’t they?”
He seems all right with my explanation because he only shrugs his shoulders and leaves the question alone for the moment.
Our pizza arrives just in time, so we don’t have to explain anything more to Sam. The rest of the dinner consists of Sam talking about everything under the sun. I guess Sarah, the gal who watches him, is a marine biology major and she’s been sharing her passion for the ocean with Sam. I learn from the conversation that Sam has never stepped foot onto the actual beach. He’s seen it, been there, but he’s never stuck his feet in the sand. How is that even possible when they live in southern California?
“I think we’ll need to make a plan to get to the ocean.” I watch as Sam’s eyes light up at the idea.
“You don’t have to do that,” Tessa argues.
I turn my head towards her. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”
“That would be awesome. Can we, Mom? Can we go to the ocean?”
I continue to watch as she struggles with my idea. She has a massive issue with letting go of control, and I know why. When something happens to you, like it happened to Tessa, power is the one thing that you feel you always need. It’s been the two of them for so long, and I’m sure she’s struggling with letting me in. The thing is, she’s doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. I can see her desire for me in her eyes. She may not know it yet, but it’s there. It’s the same look she used to give me when we were younger. She thought she was so smart hiding her feelings for me, but there are some things you can’t hide.
I place my hand on her thigh, making her slightly jump. When I give it a slight squeeze, she relaxes.
“All right, baby. We’ll plan a day.”
“When?”
This kid’s relentless. “Your mom and I will figure it out when she gets her schedule next week.”
“But she works the same days and times.”
“Then I’ll make sure I take a Saturday off.”
That seems to pacify him since he doesn’t question it anymore and digs into his pizza.
* * *
“How did you meet my mom?” Sam asks when he drops his spoon into his bowl of ice cream.
We’ve spent the last few hours walking around the small downtown area near Tessa’s house. The entire time I’ve been on high alert, making sure that dickhead, Phil, wasn’t watching. When Sam asked to stop for ice cream before he headed back to their house, I complied.
“I told you, honey, we grew up together.”
“Yeah, but how? Why did you grow up together?”
“We lived in the same town. We had mutual friends.”
“Your mom’s best friend was the sister of my best friend.”
His eyes widen at my news. He looks at Tessa. “Where is she? Do I know her? Is it Shae?” Then he turns his direction to me. “Do you know Croy? Why didn’t you say hi when you saw him?”
“Baby, no, it’s not Shae. She was from where I grew up. In…New Mexico.” Her hesitation tells me that she hasn’t shared much of her past with her son.
“Wow, you’re from Mexico?”
I can’t help but laugh at his reaction.
“Thank you, public school system,” Tessa mutters. “No, Sam, New Mexico is a state. Not far from here.”
“Ten hours by car, to be exact,” I say.
“Do you still live there, Hawk?”
“Yeah, buddy, I do.”
“Why did you leave, Mom?”
I know Sam’s too young, and Tessa’s still unsure as to what to tell her son, so I interrupt, “Let’s get going. It’s getting late.”
As soon as we leave the ice cream shop, my eyes find Phil standing across the street. When our eyes meet, his body visible stiffens then he turns around and heads the opposite direction.
When is this fucker gonna give up?