Tessa
I grip the steering wheel as I follow Hawk towards Bianca’s house. Hawk doesn’t know this yet, but Sam and I will be staying with Bianca for the time being. That’s what was decided when I called her yesterday. I didn’t have many other options.
Almost eight years ago, I woke up in a hospital. My only option was to leave Las Cruses and start a new life. Three days ago, I woke up in a hospital, knowing my only option was to leave Los Angeles and head home.
Croy sat at my bedside while I slept for three days straight. He called Sarah and Martha and told them what happened. Croy arranged for Sam to be cared for while I lay unconscious in the hospital. It was Croy who told me he would see me through this. He would be by my side the entire way, and he would be there for Sam when I was too weak to do it. But it wasn’t Croy who I saw, it was Hawk, and that’s when I knew I had to face my demons and go back to where everything started…
My eyes flutter against the harshness of the lights. The feel of a cold cloth glides along my forehead. “Hawk.” My voice is like sandpaper.
“Tessa?”
I flinch at the voice because I know it’s not Hawk’s. It’s Croy. Continuing to blink, Croy comes into focus.
“Did you say something?” He sits back with the washcloth still in his hand.
“I thought you were Hawk.” I try to clear my throat, so he hands me a cup of water. The liquid helps my throat. “I don’t know why I thought that.” I give him a small smile, but he seems annoyed.
“No, Tessa, I’ve been here the entire time. Not Hawk, me. I’ve put my life on hold making sure that your son was cared for while his mother lain unconscious in the hospital. Not Hawk, me.”
“I didn’t know, Croy. I’m sorry.”
He humbles something about Hawk listening to him under his breath.
“What did you say?”
He brings his hardened glare to me. “I said that he listened like a good boy when he came to the club before he left town. I told him that this wasn’t his place. That him being in your life wasn’t good for either you or Sam.” He sits up. “How can he think you would be better back in a town where the father of your son raped you?” His eyes narrow, “Yeah, I’ve known, Tessa. It’s only been obvious. What kind of a man would think you’d be able to live always looking over his shoulder? You know what kind? The selfish kind.”
The last few weeks play through my mind. All the unanswered texts and phone calls from both Sam and me. Croy’s the reason why Hawk never answered. He’s the reason why my son lost the one man that he felt a connection with.
“That wasn’t your place, Croy. You have no right to tell him any of those things. I was better off with him here. I was stronger with him here.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, T.”
My fingers flinch, and I feel something hard in my hand. Bringing it up, I see a clear plastic with a single clover in the center. My heart sinks as a smile spreads across my face.
“What the hell is that?” Croy sits forward.
I drop my hand and ignore his question. “I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, Croy. I’m sorry if I ever took advantage of your generosity. I haven’t had a lot of practice when it comes to friendships, and that’s my problem. But Sam and I won’t be needing your help anymore. I can’t keep doing this to you. I see I’ve been in the wrong for so long, and it’s time to make it right.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Tessa?”
“Croy, I’m going back to New Mexico, I’m going home.”
The street hasn’t really changed in all these years. Bianca’s house looks the same. The clubhouse still sits to the right of her property. There’s a building at the far-right end that I assume is where Fury now builds bikes. From how Hawk described it, anyway. Bianca’s driveway has been widened, probably to house all the bikes. Hawk pulls up next to the others as I pull over in the street.
“Where are we?” Sam asks. He’s been full of questions since we left Los Angeles. He knows his life is changing, he just doesn’t know how drastic.
“We’re at my friend’s house. Remember I told you her name is Bianca?”
I look in the rearview mirror as he unlatches the seatbelt and slides out of his booster seat. The passenger side door opens, and Hawk leans down smacking his hands together signaling for Sam to come to him.
I slam my door close and jump at the noise. I’m a nervous wreck. I’m starting to second guess my decision. When I make my way around the car, Hawk raises his arm, and I settle up next to him as he wraps it around my shoulder. With Sam on his hip and me at his side, I’m sure we look like the perfect family, but I know we’re anything but.
“You don’t need to worry, Tessa. I’ve got you. We’ve all got you.” He drops a kiss to the top of my head and starts to walk forward, giving me no choice but to move as well.
As soon as we both step foot on the porch, he gives my shoulder a squeeze. Without knocking he opens the front door and ushers me in first. I can feel his body right behind mine, but that doesn’t do anything to calm my racing heart as everyone in the living room stops talking and turns their head towards me. I recognize almost everyone.
The movement towards my right has me turning my head as Bianca comes towards me. Tears fall from her eyes as her lip quivers. “Mija, ah mija. Por fin vuelto a casa. Oh, cómo te extrañé.” You’ve finally come home. Oh, how I’ve missed you.
“Hi, Bianca.”
Another sob breaks from her chest as she pulls me towards her small frame. “Tessa. Mi Tessa.”
“Mom,” Cut calls out, “Give her a chance to come in. You’re smothering her.”
She pulls away and turns towards Cut. “I’m smothering her? Lo Siento, hijo. It’s not every day one of her children finally comes home.”
A scrape of a chair makes me jump as Sin stands and heads out towards the backyard, slamming the wooden screen behind him. Hawk places a hand on my shoulder, letting me know that he’s there.
“And who is this handsome man?” Bianca looks over my shoulder towards Sam.
“I’m Sam, and I’m almost seven. In one more month.” He gives his best smile.
Her eyes flit to mine before they go back to my son. “Well, aren’t you just a precious gift. Un Regalo especial.”
Sam laughs. “You talk funny. Some of the kids in my class talked like that.”
“Well, it’s Spanish, and I’ll be happy to teach it to you. My name is Bianca, but you can call me Mama B. All the kids do.”
“There are kids here?”
“Yes, they’re all in the back. They’re all my grandkids, and I’m their Abuela, their grandma.”
Sam’s face is somber as he takes in the information. “I don’t think I have one of those.” He scratches his head.
“Well, you do now.” She smiles and pats him on the shoulder. “Savannah,” Bianca calls “Can you please show Sam where the other kids are?”
“Hi, I’m Savannah.” She gives a little wave. “I’m sorry about Matthew.”
“It’s okay. I understand what he thinks. I know how close he and Sienna were. I know his pain is still there. Mine is too.”
She continues to stare at me. “I’m sorry, but the resemblance between you and Sienna is uncanny.”
I laugh. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone has said that. I guess when you’re both half Hispanic, with brown hair it happens. Her only saving grace was her eye color. She was blessed with Devin’s blue, just like Sin.”
“Do you want to go meet the kids?” she asks Sam. He nods then leans into her.
“He’ll be fine, Tessa. Jenni is outside, and she’ll make sure he’s having a good time.”
“I’m going to get you some water,” Hawk tells me before he heads out the back door, but when it takes him longer than a couple of minutes, I know he’s doing more than finding me something to drink.