Chapter Five
I went back to work a couple of weeks after “the day with Mitch.” When I got there I thought it was strange because there was no one around. I knew Paul was here somewhere because he’d left my house that morning on his way. I instantly worried that something bad happened. The after effects of everything that happened was that I walked around in a heightened sense of anxiety. I stared to head for the locker rooms before I saw Victoria stick her head out of the back room and I heard loud whispers of “Shh!” and “She’s here!” I smiled to myself then. They were great friends, but the worst at surprises. I stepped into the back and when they all yelled “Surprise” I tried to pull off a shocked expression. They had a big “Welcome Back” banner and the room was filled with balloons. There was a table full of food, a pot-luck extraordinaire. There was also a big cake that said, “Welcome Back Jessie!”
“Aw, thank you guys. This is so nice.” Paul was there and when I looked at him I could feel tears in my eyes. “Thank you all,” I said again. Everyone was there and for the first hour I was at work I caught up on what everyone was doing and ate way too much. When we finally all dragged ourselves away from the party and got to work Paul said, “I’m going to work out in the ring with Sam today after we do some warm-ups. Do you have time to watch and give me some pointers on my form?”
“I can do that. But I don’t know how much help I’ll be since I find your form to be beyond reproach….”
He laughed and said, “Good to know, but I was talking about my boxing form. My next fight is going to be mostly a battle of the fancy footwork from what I’ve seen of Trent.”
“Oh! Those moves,” I said with a grin. “I can help with that, no problem.” He looked around and when he was sure we were alone he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up tightly against him. My ribs were still sore, but I didn’t want him to stop so I willed myself not to flinch.
He leaned down and with his face only millimeters away from mine he said, “If I get the moves down, maybe you’ll give me a little reward later.”
“Hmm, is the one I gave you in the shower this morning not enough?”
“Not even close. No retro-active rewards.”
I laughed and said, “Okay then, you keep track of what I owe you and we’ll settle up tonight.”
“Tonight? I have to wait all day? You know how much I like instant gratification.”
I swatted him on the butt and said, “Go get started on your drills or you’ll never make it to the ring and there won’t be anything to reward.”
He grinned at me and went out to where Sam was waiting for him. I was burning up all of a sudden; just thinking about touching him gave me hot flashes. When I finally cooled down, I went out front too. I helped Mark who was still maintaining his perfect gentleman status. He was benching and I acted as his spotter. I could see Paul doing ladder drills with Sam across the room. It made me happy just to look at him. He was so freaking hot. Mark and I moved on to the biceps machine and I watched as Paul and Sam moved over to do box jumps. I liked watching him jump too. All of the muscles in his thighs and calves stretched and flexed. It was really sexy. Everything he does is really sexy. He was turning me into a pervert.
I was finished working with Mark by the time Paul and Sam were ready to get in the ring. They were wearing their mouth guards and head gear, but I heard Sam tell him “no connecting with the punches.” Today was just about footwork. I stood next to the ring and watched as they circled around each other. Every time Sam came at Paul, his job was to get out of the way. I kept my eyes on his feet for a while and I noticed that he did a lot of plodding forward and running away. That was going to kill his legs and by round three…if he made it that far, he was going to be too tired to go on.
“Hey! The whole point is to use your legs to get in and out of punching range. You’re backing out too far and giving him the chance to rush at you.” He looked at Sam and the big man gave him a subtle nod. I found that a little insulting. “Excuse me. You asked for my input.”
He spit his mouth guard into his glove and said, “And I appreciate it.”
“Good answer,” I told him. “Then don’t run it by Sam. Take it to heart. I’m not a boxer but I did study this stuff. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I know you do, babe,” he said with a grin. It was the first time he’d called me that in front of anyone. I felt my face go hot and I glanced quickly at Sam. He was being polite but I could see the traces of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
I watched again for a few minutes before saying, “Okay, see right there. He was coming forward with his arm. You weren’t moving yet. You were on your toes and going nowhere. Always time your footwork so that when he’s punching, you’re moving.”
Paul spit out the guard again and said, “What about when I’m punching? Won’t he be moving?”
“Yes, and so will you. Use your footwork going in for the punch and moving away from it as well. In other words, never stop moving. Just do it in a way that doesn’t use all your stamina in the first round.”
He winked at me and said, “Baby you know I have stamina to go for days.” He slid his mouth guard back in and left me with a red face, I’m sure. I’ve never seen him so relaxed and playful. I guess having Mitch out of the picture really did do wonders for him. I liked this side of him, a lot.
I shook off my embarrassment and started talking to him as he was moving in and out. “Okay good; create space as he throws the punch. Just back step enough so that you’re out of range. Don’t run, just step back! That’s it. Now, what do you do?”
He didn’t take the mouth guard out that time but I heard him say, “Create space again.”
“Exactly. It’s easy, just keep doing the same steps over and over…not working too hard but making him work harder.”
“Hi Jessie!” I turned around and saw Victor and Marie coming towards us.
“Hey kid! How are you?”
“I’m good. Are you okay?” Victor asked me with a concerned look on his face.
“I’m doing great. Teaching your uncle a few moves.” Marie walked up behind him and I saw a subtle wince when she looked at my face. It looked a hundred times better than it did, but evidence of the cuts and bruises were still there, faded but still evident when I wasn’t wearing make-up.
“Hi Marie.”
“Hey Jessie. It’s good to see you.”
“You too, and you!” I told Victor.
“Hey Jessie…I’m sorry for what my dad did to you.” Victor said it so sweetly that I felt worse for him than I did me. It was the first time since what I’ve dubbed “AM” “After Mitch” that I felt like I wanted to kill that SOB myself. This sweet little boy should never feel like he has to apologize for something that monster does.
I sat on the edge of the ring with the ropes behind me so that we were eye to eye and said, “You have nothing to be sorry for. Grown-ups are supposed to know how to handle themselves without using violence. Unfortunately, some of them don’t learn that so well. You’re a great kid. We can all only be responsible for ourselves. I like you and consider you my friend. I don’t hold you responsible for anything that anyone else has done.”
He smiled at me and his little freckled nose wrinkled as he did. I found myself hoping that someday Paul and I had one just like him. I was beginning to accept that even with all the drama I wanted to keep him around. Kids are so resilient and I saw that in the next instant when Victor said, “Hey Uncle Paul, can I spar the winner?”
Sam laughed and took out his guard and pulled off his headgear. “He already won,” he told the boy. “Come on up.”
I got one of our smaller head gears and a new mouthpiece for him. Then Marie and I watched while the two of them went at it. Neither of them was really throwing punches, but at one point they hooked arms and Paul took him down to the mat.
They wrestled until Victor was on top and he held up his arms and said, “I am the champion!”
Paul reached up and tickled him underneath his arms, knocking him to the mat in peals of laughter. I looked over at Marie and saw the love for both of the in her eyes. She finally looked at peace. I was happy for her…for all of them. If anyone deserved some, it was this little family.
Victor and Paul played for a couple of hours and Marie and I talked, getting to know each other more as I cleaned the machines and finished cleaning up the things from my party. She was like Victor, apologetic and feeling bad about what Mitch did to me.
“I know that I of all people shouldn’t have a hard time believing he did that to you. He gave me a few beatings when we were together that I thought I wasn’t going to see the other side of. I’m just so damned sorry that you got caught up in our nightmare.”
“And I’ll tell you the same thing I told Victor: There is only one person responsible for what happened to me and that is Mitch.” I looked over at Paul and said, “I wouldn’t go back and change any of my choices about letting any of you into my life.”
“We’re lucky to have you in ours,” she said. “You’re good for my brother. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy or so at peace. He’s been wound up inside since he was fourteen years old.”
“Thanks. He told me that his teen years were pretty rough.”
“Yeah they were. A lot of it was or dad, but a lot of it was worry over me too. He couldn’t get his own life on track because of it all. I’m so praying that will all change now that Mitch is going to be out of the picture…at least for a while. The night that Paul told me he was in jail I slept through the entire night for the first time in six years,” she told me.
I shook my head. “I can’t even imagine how you’ve done this for so long. You’re a lot stronger person than me, that’s for sure.”
She laughed and said, “Are you kidding? My ex-creep is a moose. You tangled with him and the fact that you’re standing here today and he’s in jail says that you won. You have to be incredibly strong to walk away from what he did to you and just go back to your usual routine. You look great and again, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“Thanks, Marie. I guess we all just do what we have to do.” I was glad that everyone saw me as strong and brave. I liked that. I never wanted to be seen as weak or incapable of taking care of myself. The truth was though that inside; I wasn’t the same person I used to be. The paranoia I’d been feeling before Mitch attacked me had turned into full blown panic attacks sometimes when I was at home alone. I hadn’t told anyone…I was sure it would pass eventually and again, I didn’t want anyone to look at me like I was a “victim.”