Chapter Two
Eliza
“It’s nice to see you, sweetheart. I didn’t know you were coming. Did you tell me? It’s not on the calendar.”
Since when was my coming over an event that had to be put on her calendar? “No, I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry to spring it on you like this. I was driving, and I suddenly realized I was close to your house. I thought it would be nice to come in and chat.”
My mother smiled at me, and once again I was taken aback at how beautiful she was. I hoped that I could age as gracefully as she had. People used to say that we looked more like sisters than mother and daughter. My mother just reached a point where she seemed to stop aging.
“You’re always welcome to come by and talk to me. You know that.” The statement sort of went against the whole calendar conversation, but I let it slide. “Now, let me get you a drink. Coffee? Tea? Vodka? Wine?”
I chuckled. “Coffee would be great. It’s a bit too early for wine.”
My mother raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. “It is? Not for me. But I’ll get us some coffee. I got myself this fancy new machine that makes cappuccinos.”
“Ooh, that sounds nice. Thanks, Mom.”
I followed her to the kitchen to watch her make the coffee, which ended up being her just placing a cup under the nozzle and pressing a button. I sighed with contentment as she handed it to me and quickly took my first sip. It was exactly what I needed.
“Delicious.”
“It is, isn’t it? You need to get yourself one of these. It makes all sorts of coffee, and it tastes just like the ones at a café. Even better sometimes. Get one; you won’t regret it,” she said.
I nodded. “Oh trust me, I’d love to get one. But first, I need a job. I have a feeling those things don’t exactly come cheap.”
“No, they certainly don’t. Something to save up for, then. How is the job hunting going? I tell you what, it’s tough being young these days. The jobs don’t come as easily as they used to.”
I sighed. “Tell me about it. It’s not easy. I was thinking of starting up my own business, actually, but I want to get a bit more experience before doing that. Get my name out and all of that. I went to a job interview last week, but I really didn’t like the place. And the pay was terrible. I could see how miserable everyone looked, and I had a feeling that it wasn’t the sort of place I could move up in. The whole thing just felt stagnant, you know.”
“They were miserable? But aren’t they party planners? Isn’t that supposed to be a fun job?”
“Yeah! That’s exactly what I thought. I wouldn’t want someone like that planning my party. Anyway, I didn’t have to worry, though. Someone else go the job. They chose this woman who was super grumpy. I guess that’s the look they’re going for. I suppose it’s a good thing, because I’m getting so desperate that I just might have taken it.”
“Well, never mind that. You don’t want a job like that, anyway. Yes, it’s good that they chose someone else. You left your last job because it wasn’t what you wanted, and your boss was awful, so don’t do that to yourself again. The right job is out there. So, what’s next?”
“There’s another job actually, but it’s in Arizona. I had an interview yesterday over Skype, and they loved me. And frankly, I loved them. The guy actually took the computer around the room so that I could see the place. And it’s exactly the sort of job I’m looking for. I got all giddy just talking to him.”
“In Arizona?”
I sighed. “Yeah, that’s the thing. I mean, I love California. I’m not sure I really want to move. But at the same time, it’s such a great opportunity. Anyway, they offered me the job. They said I need to call them by the end of the day with an answer.”
“You know, darling, it’s good to move sometimes. You grow a lot when you move, and this job sounds wonderful.”
“So, you think I should take it?” I asked. I knew that I wanted the job, and that I wanted someone to tell me that it was a good idea. Hearing her say so made me feel good. It was just the sort of push that I needed. I’d been worried that she was going to tell me that I was being foolish to move to a whole new city—out-of-state, even—just for a job.
“I think it’s a great idea, Eliza. But what about Raymond? Will he come with you? Because a long-distance relationship is never a good idea. Although knowing Raymond, he’d probably follow you everywhere. Or is there a way you can do this job from here? Telecommuting—isn’t that what they call it?”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. There was so much about Raymond that my mother didn’t know. I’d thought about telling her on many occasions, but it was always too hard to bring up. It also didn’t help that Raymond had managed to charm the socks off my mother. I suppose he’d done the same to me, once upon a time. And once you were under his spell, it was hard to get out of it. The only reason that I had been able to do so was because I now knew the truth. Raymond was great in many ways, but the moment he had a few drinks, he turned into a whole new person. Someone that didn’t think twice about knocking me around.
“I don’t think he’ll come with. And the job is definitely an in-house one. They need me there, and all the assignments are going to be in the area. It’s a very hands-on job.”
“So then, you’re not taking it, I assume?” she said.
I sighed. I had expected this conversation to come. It was part of the reason why I’d gone to my mother’s house. I knew I had to at least some of the truth. To prepare her for the fact that I didn’t want to be with Raymond anymore. “To be honest, Mom, Raymond and I have been drifting apart for a while now. I don’t think that the two of us are going to work out. We’ve tried, but I just don’t think that it’s meant to be. I don’t think that he’s the one.”
‘Drifting apart’ was putting it mildly, but it was the only thing that I could think of to say at that moment. These all still felt like safe words.
“Really? I didn’t know that. The last time I saw him, he said that things were going great between the two of you. I thought that you would end up marrying that boy.”
“Marrying him? Seriously?” I knew she liked Raymond, but I didn’t know she wanted me to marry him.
“Well, yeah. You seemed so happy.”
It occurred to me then that my mother didn’t really know me at all. I shook my head sadly. “No, we’re definitely not going to get married.”
“That’s a pity. I really liked that boy. So sweet and charming. Well, maybe a break will do you good. Go to Arizona, get the job, and see what happens. Who knows, maybe the two of you will find your way back to each other.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I lied.
I finished my coffee and made my way back home. I had a lot of thinking to do, and not much time until I had to tell them whether or not I was taking the job. I was sitting in front of my computer, contemplating the email, when Raymond came home. I knew that he was drunk the moment I locked my eyes onto him. It was always easy to tell with Raymond. He had a different swagger, and his eyes battled to focus. He looked me in the eyes, and I watched as his gaze shifted to my ear, and I felt my blood run cold.
“Hey, Raymond. Have a good time with the boys?” I asked casually. Raymond was always going out with ‘the boys’—a group of men who I was not very fond of.
“Oh, I had a great time. So much great,” he said. His sentence structure was out of whack, and I wondered just how much he’d had to drink. I hoped he’d had enough that he’d want to pass out, and not just enough to make him want to stay up and fight. I saw him stumble and I figured he’d on the sofa soon enough. I just had to stall.
“That’s great. So, tell me about it, who was there?”
“Who was there? There? Girls, you mean?”
“What?”
“You want to know what girls were there? You’re jealous, aren’t you? You hate me going out. It was just the boys! The boys!”
“Raymond, you’re not making any sense. I just wanted to know if you had a good night. That’s all. I want you to go out and have a good time. And I’m not jealous.”
“You should be.”
I looked at him then, and wished that my mother could see this side of him. His once-charming smile had changed, and he looked more like the villain in a movie than the handsome protagonist he painted himself to be. I wondered when he’d changed so much. But it had happened so gradually, and so seldom at first, that I hadn’t seen it coming. His father was a drinker, and he’d assured me that he never wanted to go the same route as him. But clearly, nothing could be further from the truth. I realized not so long ago that he loved alcohol more than he loved me. I would never be enough for him.
“Well, I’m not. And you shouldn’t talk to me like that,” I said bravely.
I’d always been the sort of person to stick up for what I believe in. I was headstrong, positive, and happy. It’s how I’d always been described. But since being with Raymond, I’d lost a part of me. I’d been holding onto a part of the relationship that no longer existed. I tried to remember the last time that I’d been happy, and it occurred to me that it was when I was having that Skype interview. I’d been happier in an interview than with my own boyfriend.
“I shouldn’t talk to you like that?” he boomed. His voice got louder as he walked toward me. “And you shouldn’t talk to me like that! Who do you think you are?”
I tried to take a step back, but he slapped me across the face before I had the time to move away. I pushed him in response, and he fell to the sofa. He tried to get up, but he stumbled. And I watched as he passed out right in front of my eyes. The idiot! He was snoring within seconds.
My cheeks burned from where he’d hit me. I stood there for what felt like forever, just staring at this man in front of me. A man that I had once thought I loved, and I knew at that moment exactly what I was going to do. Thankfully, Raymond looked like he was going to be out for a long time. That gave me plenty of time to gather my things and throw them into the car. I didn’t have much, anyway, and I was more than happy to leave quite a lot behind. There were some things that would only make me think of Raymond when I looked at them, and the last thing that I wanted was to be reminded of him. I grabbed my handbag and my coat, took one final look at Raymond and the apartment, and then I left without looking back again.
I got into the car. My hands were still, and I felt as if I had finally gained a bit of control back over my life. I was doing the right thing. I quickly got out my phone and opened up my email.
I’d love to accept the job! I typed. I put the phone back into my bag and drove toward my freedom.