Chapter Thirty-Two
Emily
The door slammed behind Grant, and I sat there just staring at the space where he’d once been. It took a while for him to leave and I thought he was going to come back, but then I heard the car start, and I knew that he wasn’t coming back. I had a feeling he wasn’t the sort of guy that came groveling back to someone. I remembered how he’d once told me that before he moved to Buffalo, he used to get on to his bike whenever he got angry. It was something that he’d learned from his brother, Gunner. They’d climb on their bikes and ride around until they had calmed down. But that was the problem with being away from Arizona and away from his bike: there was no bike for him to use as a calming method.
I sat there trembling thinking about how scary Grant could be when he was angry. He had a strength and temper within him that seemed to lie dormant for the most part, until something set him off, of course. But why should he be so mad at me, anyway? I was the one that he’d lied to. Arson? Was he telling the truth? And, if so, what did that mean? Why would anyone want to hurt me? The only reason I stopped thinking about it was because I smelled smoke in the air.
“Shit! Oh no, no, no!” I said as I ran to the kitchen.
I took the pot off the stove and stuck a wooden spoon through the mixture, hoping that I’d only burned the bottom. I took a spoon and scooped some up to taste. I spat it right out.
“Gross!”
I turned off the stove, poured myself a glass of water, and went back to the living room. My dinner was ruined, Grant was mad at me, my father had returned from the dead, and someone out there had wanted revenge on me. When had my life gotten so complicated? I felt the tears spring to my eyes, half from the smoke in the air, and half from being so upset. And I’d been so determined to make the perfect meal for Grant. I was so proud to finally get my gran’s recipe right. And now I’d ruined it all. Just like that. I decided to call Terra. I didn’t want to be alone.
“Terra, can you come over?” I whispered into the phone.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I just need some company. I need my best friend.”
“I’ll be right there!”
True to her word, Terra arrived only fifteen minutes after I’d put the phone down. I opened the door for her and gave her a hug. It felt so good, and I almost didn’t want to let her go.
“Thanks for coming so quickly,” I said when we eventually pulled apart.
“It’s no problem at all. Hey, what’s that smell? Is something burning?”
I sighed. “I burned my food.”
“Are you trying to burn your house down again?” she said in jest.
“I didn’t burn my house down the first time!” I said.
She looked surprised by my outburst. “Em, I know you didn’t. Listen, what’s going on?” she asked. She spotted Grant’s wine on the table and smiled. “Oh, is this for me? Thanks, Em.”
“Sure,” I said and decided not to tell her it was Grants.
We sat down in the living room together, and I turned to face her.
“Apparently the fire was ruled an arson.”
“Arson? What do you mean? Someone did it on purpose? Are you serious? Who would do such a thing?”
I shook my head. “That’s the thing; I don’t know. It’s so crazy. I don’t think it’s really hit me until now, actually. And if someone did it to me once, what if they want to do it to me again? I don’t think I realized how scary this all was. Someone out there wanted to do me harm and they actually went to all the effort to burn down my house. Did they want me to suffer? Or were they hoping I was inside? What the hell man? These sorts of things usually only happen in the movies. Not in real life. Not in my life!”
“I can’t believe it. That’s crazy, Em. Are you sure? How did you find out?”
“Grant told me. Apparently he’s known for a very long time. The chief told him. You know that guy? He’s really nice. And he’s not a bullshitter. He wouldn’t have told the guys if it wasn’t true.”
“And Grant didn’t tell you?”
“Nope. He didn’t say a thing. The bastard.”
“Uh oh. Are you fighting?”
“Yeah. Of course we’re fighting. I’m so mad at him right now I can barely even talk about him. Or think about him,” I said. That wasn’t entirely true, though. Grant was the biggest thing on my mind at that moment. “I mean, how could he not tell me something like that? He said when he first found out he didn’t really know me that well. He wasn’t sure if I knew or not. Then, when he got to know me, he didn’t want to be the one to tell me. He didn’t want me to be scared or anything. But that makes me so mad. He should’ve told me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. He should’ve. But it sounds to me like he was only trying to protect you. I don’t think he went about it in any sort of malicious way.”
I didn’t expect Terra to take his side. “Well, maybe. But still. And then, we got onto the topic of my father, and he had the audacity to tell me that I should give my father a chance. What does he know about what I’m going through? How can he just tell me what to do with my life? I thought he was supposed to just be there for me? Not tell me what he thinks is right and wrong. He said I can’t handle anything that’s not perfect, and that I need to realize that life is not perfect. He said my dad made a mistake and that I should at least hear him out.”
“Ooh, heavy talk. And what did you say to him?”
“Well, I told him to get out the house. I couldn’t stand to look at him anymore.”
“He was here?”
“Yeah, he came for dinner. Which, as you can tell, didn’t quite go as planned. The damn food burned, and I was making one of my gran’s meals. Remember the one I messed up the last time? And it was going so well until we started fighting and I asked him to leave. Then I smelled smoke and ruined the whole pot.”
She looked at her glass of wine and back up at me. “This was his glass, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, it was. He didn’t stay very long. Sorry about that. But it’s yours now.”
“Em, I’m so sorry to hear about all of this. I really am. I’m glad you called and you know I’ll always be there for you.”
“It sounds to me like there’s a big ‘but’ coming.”
She sighed. “But, I sort of agree with Grant.”
“You agree with him? You’re supposed to only agree with me!”
“I know. And I love you with all my heart, Em. I’m sure he thought it wasn’t his place to really tell you something like that. Or else he probably figured you already knew. Back then you hardly knew each other, anyway. Looks, I know it’s shitty, but he told you now, and that’s got to mean something, doesn’t it? And the whole thing with your father, well, yeah I agree that he’s a shitty man who did a shitty thing. And you don’t have to forgive him. You don’t. But if you really want closure, then you should hear him out. He’s a man that made the worst mistake of his life, and now he’s trying to make things right. You can’t fault him for that at least.”
I stared at her. She wasn’t supposed to say all that. She was supposed to be angry with Grant, and to tell me that I should have nothing to do with my father. She was supposed to tell me that I was the one in the right. Why had I asked her to come over in the first place? Did I have nobody left in the world that was actually on my side anymore?
“You have every right to be angry at everyone right now, Em. But just know that we’re all here to love and support you. You need to know that,” Terra added when I still hadn’t said anything.
I sighed. “Thanks, Terra. I guess I just want everyone to agree with me. But I know that’s not how life works. Maybe I do just want everything to go my way all the time. I don’t know. It’s just been a tough few months, that’s all.”
Terra took my hand and squeezed it. “I know it has. Look, why don’t we watch a movie tonight? I’ll order takeout, and we can polish off this bottle of wine. That way you can have a night off from thinking.”
“That is exactly what I need right now. Thank you!” I said and smiled gratefully at her.
We watched two movies, ate pizza, drank wine, and did no talking. And even though my mind kept wandering to Grant, the fire, and my father, I kept pushing it away to concentrate on the movie. Both movies were stupid comedies, and the more wine we drank, the funnier we found them. When it was time for Terra to go, I hugged her tightly.
“Thanks for always being there for me.”
“I’ll always be here for you, Em. And . . . so is Grant. He’s not a bad guy.”
Later that night, I lay in bed thinking about Grant. It was easy for Terra to say that he was a nice guy, but she hadn’t seen how angry he’d gotten at me. How scary he had looked towering over me. She hadn’t seen how quickly his temper had flared up. And yet, despite all of this, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Because, even though I knew he had a temper to him, he barely showed it. For the most part, he was the kindest and most loving man I’d ever met. I remembered what he’d said about his father—how he needed a good reason to get angry. Perhaps it was because he cared for me so much. On the other hand, perhaps it was because he didn’t care at all.
I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I was exhausted, but no matter how tired my body was, my mind was wide awake. I tried everything to fall asleep, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Grant. A few months ago I didn’t even know he existed, and now I was unable to sleep because of him. Why did I care so much?
For the next hour, I struggled to fall asleep. Until finally, sleep found me. But even then, as I closed my eyes and drifted off, his handsome face flashed before me.