BUCKED #3
Chapter Fifteen
Laci
Waking up is never an easy task, but waking up next to Noah made it a little easier than usual. That is until I realized that we had spent the night in the bed of his truck and I immediately started to freak about the hell I was sure I would catch from Aunt Sara. Of course, that was the shocker of the century. Instead of getting chewed out, all I got was something along the lines of, “Oh, you two lovebirds have fun!” I mean, what the heck?
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t going to argue. Actually, after we had talked to her and eventually hung up, I was doing my best to take her advice—have fun. Fifteen minutes later, we were in the middle of a good morning making out session when my phone went off again. I kind of expected it to be Aunt Sara needing to tell me something she’d forgotten. That was not the case.
I slipped it out of my pocket and looked at the screen which displayed the name Marky H and a photo of Mark dressed as Harry Potter from last Halloween. I looked at Noah, who was wearing an expression that may as well have shouted, “Don’t do it.” Part of me didn’t want to, but I was torn. If I didn’t, wouldn’t that make it seem like I was trying to hide something? But if I did, would that make Noah uncomfortable? It wasn’t an ideal situation, to say the least. When it came down to a split second decision, I couldn’t help myself. I had to. Mark had promised to answer my calls even at three in the morning—something I’d actually taken him up on a few times—so what kind of friend would I be if I shunned him at seven in the morning?
“I’m sorry, but I have to take this,” I told Noah as I tapped on the green button to answer the call.
“Hey, Lace! What are you up to?” Mark’s chipper voice greeted me.
“Um, nothing much, just hanging around,” I said as Noah’s lips found my neck and he kissed me gently. There are very few things that affect me so quickly and turn me on more than that one gesture, so I swatted him on the shoulder and continued. “What’s up, Mark?”
“Just so happens, I’m just hangin’ around, too—at Sara’s ranch, as chance would have it. Where are you?”
“Wait. You’re here? Like, here here?” I asked, stunned. Noah instantly ended his attempt to keep me distracted with his neck kisses and looked at me with an inquisitive expression. He mouthed something I couldn’t quite make out. It was either “He’s here?” or “ass hair,” I wasn’t entirely sure. I’m awful at reading lips. Making the educated guess that it was the former, I nodded just as Mark laughed.
“Yeah, I’m here here! I wanted to surprise you, so I called and had your Aunt Sara pick me up in Chattanooga. So, are you gonna answer my question? Where are you?”
“I’m up on a mountain,” I told him. “I’m gonna head back to the farm now.”
“Cool, I’ll see you soon then,” he said before he hung up.
Just what I need, I thought. Don’t get me wrong, I fully expected Mark to follow through on his promise that we’d spend some time together this summer, but I didn’t expect it to be a surprise visit in Alabama, especially when I’d just started something up with Noah. I clicked the lock button on my phone and shoved it back into my pocket. I looked over at Noah, feeling a little guilty that I was about to cut our morning together short, and asked if we could head back.
He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, then nodded. “Yeah, of course we can,” he responded. The expression on his face was a stark contrast from the spirited look he’d had only moments before. Deflated came to mind. He instantly started picking up the blankets and rolling them up into a messy ball. He climbed through the window and slid his too-perfect butt into the driver’s seat, then flung the blankets behind him in the extended cab area. “You coming?” he asked, holding out a hand to help me through the window.
I took his hand and crawled into the cab of the truck. I tried not to lose my balance as I sat down in the other seat and buckled my seat belt. He started the truck and put it into gear, then started to drive. I studied his face and noticed he was chewing on the inside of his bottom lip like his life depended on it.
“I’m guessing that’s nervous tick, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Huh?” he asked, snapping his eyes over to me. “What is?”
“Chewing on your lip.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess you could say so.”
“Well, what are you nervous about?” I asked, putting a hand on his knee. He draped his left hand over the steering wheel and put his right one on top of mine, curling his fingers around mine. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it, then interlaced his fingers between mine.
“Because, I just got you. I don’t want to lose you to him,” he confessed.
I have to admit; I wasn’t expecting him to be so upfront. The boys I’ve been involved with have been just that: boys. Not a one of my ex-boyfriends ever made me feel like I was something they didn’t want to lose or important enough to worry about another guy. Noah, on the other hand, wasn’t a boy. And so, he wasn’t behaving like a boy would, I suppose. He was treating me like a man should treat a woman by being open about how he felt. I guessed I had his mother to thank for that. Maybe his being a mama’s boy wasn’t so bad, after all because he really did behave like a Southern gentleman. I smiled at the comment. I couldn’t help it, it made me feel good.
“If it makes you feel better, you can hold my hand the whole time he’s here.”
Noah’s eyes darted to me three or four times while he tried to keep an eye on the road, too. “What if I keep my arm around you? What are you gonna do then?”
I sighed. “I suppose I’ll manage,” I declared sarcastically which elicited a crooked half-grin from the mama’s boy.
For the next ten minutes or so, we drove in comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s presence and the sight of the trees whipping past. By the time the truck tires crunched to a halt on the gravel in Aunt Sara’s driveway, Mark was standing beside her on the porch, practically bouncing with excitement. I couldn’t deny that I was excited to see him, too, but I hoped, for Noah’s sake I wasn’t showing it more than was appropriate. I also found myself hoping that Mark would keep a lid on the whole “I’m in love with you” thing.
Noah turned off the truck and the moment I stepped out I was swept up in one of Mark’s famous pick-you-up-and-spin-you-around hugs. When he let me down, he just looked at me for a moment until Noah cleared his throat, catching Mark’s attention. Mark walked over to Noah on the other side of the truck and stuck out his hand. Noah eyed it. For a second, I thought he might not take it, but then he broke out into a huge grin and shook Mark’s hand and then pulled him into a hug.
“I guess they really mean it when they say Southern hospitality, don’t they?” Mark chuckled.
The tightness in Noah’s jaw told me he was still slightly suspicious of Mark, but he wasn’t going to show it, for my sake, I think. It was sweet, really. It was almost as if he didn’t want to make this weird for me, even though, if I was reading his body language right, he was incredibly jealous—something I must concede I was finding to be unbelievably adorable.
“So, you’re the famous Mark Hannon, are ya?” Noah said as he stepped up close beside me.
“Last I checked, I was!” Mark replied with a wink. “And you are?”
“Noah. Noah Tucker.”
“Bull rider extraordinaire,” Aunt Sara added from the steps of the porch.
Taking off his hat, Noah swept it in front of him in a grand bow.
“Ah, well then, how extraordinary to meet you, good sir!” Mark countered with a bit of amusement. He then turned his attention back to me. “Lace, did you see the sunrise? It was almost as beautiful as you are.”
“D’awh, stop it, you!” I cooed. “Yeah, we saw it on the way back from the mountain,” I began just as Noah slipped his hand in mine. Mark’s eyes flickered down to our hands for a minute, and his smile faded, then quickly returned upon him bringing his eyes back up to our faces. A pang of guilt settled in my gut. It was harder for me to see that sadness in his eyes than I had thought it might be, even if it only lasted for a second. Knowing him as well as I did, I could tell that the sincere joy that had been present five seconds before wasn’t there anymore, but he shook it off and continued his façade.
“So, do I get the grand tour or what?” he chirped.
“Yeah, of course!” I beamed. “How long are you gonna be here?”
“Just today and tomorrow; I start filming a movie on Sunday in Atlanta, so I figured I might as well fly in a few days early and come see you. I wanted to make sure I could keep that promise of spending time together this summer. I never want to break a promise to you, ya know. I’ll be filming until August, and that’s when you start your movie, so this was our only shot. Surprise!”
Just then, Jack bounded outside. The moment he laid eyes on Noah, it was all over. “Noah, I was on my way over! Come on! I was practicing my balance yesterday, and I wanna show you what I can do now!”
“Uh, umm, okay, I guess I’m going this way!” Noah said as Jack dragged him away by the arm. “It was nice to meet ya, Mark!” he called, flicking his wrist in a quick wave.
“You, too!” Mark shouted back. “Alright, I guess this means you can show me around now!” he grinned.
“I’m just going to be in the kitchen making my famous lasagna,” Aunt Sara spouted our way. “If you two need anything, just give me a shout. Lunch should be ready around noon.”
I gave her a quick nod before Mark and I proceeded into the house. I took him through the downstairs, which was pretty self-explanatory, then we went upstairs and after I had shown him Aunt Sara’s, Jack’s, and my bedrooms, I took him to the guest room that he’d be sleeping in which he’d actually already seen since his bags were sitting just inside the door. He took a seat on the bed and patted the spot next to him, so I sat down. He leaned into me and bumped his shoulder to mine playfully.
“Soooo, what’s new? We haven’t really had much of a chance to have a good chat since you got here.”
I could tell he was hinting at the new relationship between Noah and me, but I skirted the subject as best I could in my reply.
“Not much, really. I’ve been riding a lot. It was really difficult to do at first because it made me think of Mom, but I’m glad I managed to get back on a horse. It’s nice now, relaxing. Makes me feel closer to her.”
“I’m glad you get to do what you love,” he said, smiling and gazing at me in an expectant manner.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You aren’t going to tell me about Noah?”
“What about him?”
“Oh, come on, Lace. He grabbed your hand and Sara told me you guys spent the night at the top of a mountain together. I’m not a moron.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“I know you didn’t. I’m just saying that I can tell something’s going on, so tell me about it.”
“We’re together,” I said quickly. Maybe he expected me to lie or hoped that what he saw was nothing but a friendly hand squeeze; whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that.
“That happened fast.”
“Yeah, it did. In the last few days, actually. If it helps, we hated each other at first.”
“Honestly, that makes me feel a little worse. But as long as he makes you happy, beautiful. I don’t want to make this visit awkward for you…or for Noah.”
“I think it already kind of is,” I chuckled. “You might not have noticed, but Noah’s insanely jealous of you. You should’ve seen the face he made when you called and said you were here. Honestly, I think he feels intimidated. He thinks he’s going to lose me to you since we’ve known each other for so long and we’re already so close.”
“Well, I’m not planning on trying to insert myself where I don’t belong,” he said simply. “As much as I wish that were me, like I said, I just want you to be happy. You are happy, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
He studied my face for a few seconds and then clapped his hands against his thighs. “Well, then. I guess that’s that! Why did Jack just drag him away like that?”
“When Aunt Sara said that Noah was a ‘bull rider extraordinaire,’ she meant it. He’s like, one of the best in the biz, apparently, so Sara hired him to give Jack lessons.”
“How the hell is he going to teach Jack how to ride a bull when you don’t own any bulls?”
“I don’t have the slightest idea, so don’t ask me. So far, it’s all been a bunch of mundane little exercises and tests that are supposed to teach him skills like balance and control and stuff.”
“Alright, fair enough.” His gaze caught mine for a quick moment and he shifted his weight a little. I could tell he still had something on his mind.
“Spit it out,” I instructed.
“What?” he tried to look clueless, but I knew better.
“I know you have something else you want to say.”
He shook his head and smiled. “You can read me as well as I can read you,” he stated. “I just… Can you tell me your real story? Like, how you guys got involved?”
The earnest look in his eyes was more than I had ever been able to say no to. And as well as Mark could read me, I knew it would be best not to lie or even withhold part of the story.
“Well, Potter—the dog, in case you haven’t met him yet—swallowed something less than normal and had to go to the vet the day my flight got in. So, Aunt Sara sent Noah to pick me up at the airport. I have to say, my first impression was less than stellar. I thought he was an annoying, pompous ass at first. He’s not always particularly delicate, and his bluntness kind of pissed me off initially. He made a few cracks about the fact that I was wearing heels and makeup to go to a ranch, and with my frame of mind when I arrived, I was pretty much a bitch to him in return.
“The first week or so I was here, I refused to get on a horse. I would barely go near them, much less ride because it made me think of Mom. Because of that, Noah jumped to the conclusion that I was a spoiled city girl, which he isn’t particularly fond of. And since I wasn’t giving him the chance to prove my theory that he was just a stubborn hick, I wasn’t particularly fond of him, either. There were a few moments here and there where I saw a different side of him, but I was a little too stubborn to admit I might have been wrong and done the same thing he did, jumped to conclusions.
“Then, last week, Jack got stuck in a tree and was surrounded by a pack of coyotes; I jumped on a horse to scare them away, and Noah immediately followed to help. It was kind of intense. Made me see that there was more to Noah than I had given him credit for. I apologized for how I’d been behaving and treating him. He swore that he was the one who should be apologizing, and ever since then, I think we just saw each other in a different light. We started talking more and more after that. It didn’t take too long to clear the air. Next thing I know there’s this chemistry, he kissed me, and as they say, the rest is history.”
Mark just sat there for a long moment, as though he were processing the story. Then, with a long, deep sigh, he broke the silence. “Wow. Sounds kind of intense.”
“Yeah, I guess when I think about it, it kind of was.”
Mark took my hand in his and offered me a soft, half-hearted smile. “I told you before, I’m not going to get in the way. Besides, I’ve always heard it said that relationships formed in times of crisis can be pretty formidable, and we all know how that love hate thing can go,” he said with a wink. “But just know that I’m still here if things ever go awry. I meant it when I said my feelings for you aren’t just going to go away. If it came down to it and I thought he wasn’t good to you or for you, I’d be willing to fight for you, Lace. I would fight for you. But unless Noah shows me that he isn’t treating you right, I’m not going to put all of that on you. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”
That’s when I realized that, even though he’s a couple of years younger, Mark is just as much of a man as Noah. He’s the kind of person who is mature enough to step back from a situation and see it rationally. His words and his actions not only made me realize he was such a strong man, but also showed me just how much he really loves me. They say that loving someone means you want them to be happy no matter the cost, and he had just told me that he wanted me to be with Noah if it made me happy, even if it shattered his own heart. Hearing those words come out of him simultaneously made my heart happy and crushed it.
“You can’t possibly know how amazing you are, Mark Hannon. You have a heart of gold; you know that, right?”
He smiled that dazzling, better-than-Hemsworth smile of his. “Nah, I wouldn’t say that. I’m just looking out for my best friend.” He stood up, pulling me up with him. “Now, I want to meet these life-saving horses you speak of.”
Relieved that he wanted to change the subject, I gratefully agreed and pulled on his arm as I led him out of the room. “Come on, I’ll take you to the barn. We can continue our tour there.”
We walked into the stables and approached the horse’s stalls. “Hey, Lisa! How’s it going, girl?” I greeted the filly as I ambled up. I began to stroke her neck and continue my conversation with her as I usually had, like she was a person.
“Are you really talking to a horse?” Mark asked, laughing lightly. I smiled over at him, feeling a little less awful about the whole situation with me and Noah. One of the things that had drawn me to Noah was the fact that he talks to horses, too. And while I know Mark didn’t mean anything disrespectful by his question, the fact still remained that he didn’t understand horses the way Noah did, the way I did. Because of that, it meant Mark didn’t understand a part of me. The moment reassured me that I was doing what made me happy and I was with someone who understood me in a way many people never had.
For some odd reason, I could suddenly almost hear Emily’s sassy tone in my head saying, “Girl, do your thang!” in her best impersonation of Rosie Perez. Then, it dawned on me that I hadn’t actually told her about all of this yet. The last time I had talked to her was the day before the whole saving Jack from coyotes situation had happened. One of the great things about my relationship with Emily is that we can spend every waking second together or not talk for a week and things will always be the same between us. I made a mental note to call her so I could get her caught up on the latest happenings. My thoughts jumped back to Mark and his questions, so I gave him “the look.”
“Yes, I’m talking to a horse; got a problem with that?”
He eyed me like he was just seeing me for the first time and threw his hands up as though he were going to back off. “No. No problem. I guess I just think it’s a little odd, that’s all.”
“You used to talk to your dog all the time. How is talking to a horse any different?”
He shook his head. “Well, my dog was there all day, every day. He was a regular part of my life. These horses, on the other hand, I mean… You’ve only been here a few weeks. They’re just horses.”
“They may be ‘just horses,’ but they’ve been here all day, every day for me. And they’re better listeners than dogs. Dogs just run off and leave you talking to yourself when a car or cat comes along,” I joked.
“Alright, fair enough. So, can we ride them?”
“These two, sure,” I said, pointing to Greg and Stella. “But Rosie just gave birth to little Lisa there like a week and a half ago, so obviously neither of them can be ridden yet.”
He smiled. “Lisa, huh? That your idea?”
“Nope. Jack’s, actually. But suffice it to say, I was pretty happy he suggested it.”
“I don’t blame you; I would be, too.” He paused for a brief moment before his eyes caught mine. “How are you holding up? I know I’ve asked on the phone, but now I can see for myself when you answer.”
I shuffled my feet a little. “Better.”
“Better? Is that all you’re gonna give me? Your best friend of eleven years and all I get to an emotional question is a single word answer?” he teased.
“Actually, Em’s my best friend, but you’ll do in a pinch, I guess.” I winked before continuing. “I guess I just don’t know what to say. It’s still not easy. I still cry sometimes. But things have gotten easier over the last couple of weeks. But what can I expect? I lost my parents. It’s not like I’m going to ever fully get over it. Riding helps.”
“Well, then, I say we saddle up!”
“Aww, you guys are gonna ride?” We both turned to the voice behind us and saw Noah and Jackson walking toward us. “We wanted to ride,” Jackson pouted.
“Well, it’s not like we can’t still ride, Bud. Let’s just go get Simon and Ella,” Noah suggested.
“Or, we could double up,” Mark suggested. “Me and Lace can take one and you and Jack can ride the other.”
Noah’s jaw tightened again, so hard I was shocked he didn’t crack something. But he held it together and put on a strained smile. “No, that’s alright. Simon’s probably itching to stretch his legs; he hasn’t been ridden in a couple of days.” He looked at me for what I assumed was confirmation, so I jumped right on that bandwagon.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Greg’s probably not ready to be doubled up on, anyway,” I offered.
“We’ll head over to get Simon and Ella. Meet us there?” Noah asked.
“Yeah, sounds good,” I replied. Noah stepped forward, cupped his hands around my face, and kissed me—gently, but with enough passion to get the point I was certain he was trying to make across. Jack let out a snicker. When Noah was done turning my legs to jelly, he turned and started to walk away, then paused and motioned for Jack to follow him. Jack glanced back and forth between us, then snickered again and trotted away after Noah.
As we watched their retreat, I could feel Mark glaring at me with a sideways stare.
“What?” I questioned, looking at him.
“What the hell was that all about?”
“What, the kiss?”
“Uhh. Yeah.”
“I guess he just wanted to kiss me. Don’t read into it so much.” I knew well and good it was more than that, but I didn’t really want to get into the underlying reasons.
“I take it you missed the look he gave me after he kissed you? Before he walked away?”
“What look?”
“He gave me a ‘she is definitely mine and don’t you forget it’ kind of look. I just feel like it was pretty passive-aggressive, that’s all I’m saying.”
I rolled my eyes and headed over to grab the saddles. “Okay, maybe it was a little. But try putting yourself in his shoes. Imagine how you’d feel. Say you just met this girl,” I started, handing him Stella’s saddle. “Things were a little uneasy at first, then something happens and you start to click and it all seems to start falling into place. But right as that happens, in walks her best friend of eleven years-”
“You just said I’m not your best friend,” he interrupted.
“Oh hush,” I said, swatting his arm playfully. “So, in walks her best friend, and he’s super hot, super funny, just an all-around great guy, and he has the same interests as her. Do you mean to tell me you wouldn’t feel the slightest bit intimidated? Especially, when he suggests things like ‘we should ride a horse together, where we will need to have our arms wrapped around one another?’”
He stopped fiddling with the saddle and looked at me. “So, you think I’m super hot, huh?” He grinned.
“That is not the point.” I finished putting Greg’s saddle on, then reached over and showed Mark how to tighten Stella’s saddle.
“Okay, fine. You’re right,” he admitted. “I guess I can’t really deny that I’d be pretty upset. Especially, if this best friend were super hot.” His smile widened again playfully.
I laughed. “Exactly. Now, you’re too dense to figure out how to put a saddle on, but do you know how to ride so we can get over there?”
“For your information, Miss I-Can-Do-It-All, I’ve never put a saddle on a horse before, but I have ridden one, thank you very much.”
“Well, show me what you’ve got, Saddle Boy.”
Much to my surprise, he actually did know how to ride. He mounted correctly then gave a short whistle and got Stella to obey his command to move with no problem. The only issue was that he took off in the wrong direction. I sped up, cut him off, and told him that their ranch was the other way. With a laugh, he said, “I know. I just wanted to make sure you did.”
“Hah, nice try. Keep up if you can,” I gave him a mischievous grin before breaking out into a gallop. I don’t know what it is, but getting a horse at an all-out sprint is pretty thrilling. Unsurprisingly, I beat him there, and we arrived just in time to see Noah and Jack leading Simon and Ella out into the warm sunlight. After helping Jack onto the mare’s back and climbing onto his stallion, they trotted over to us.
“Where are we riding to?” Jackson asked.
“No idea,” I told him. Looking to Noah, I asked, “Thoughts?”
“Wanna go to the lake? There’s a field right next to it that we can let the horses graze in and keep an eye on ‘em while we go swimming.” He looked at Mark. “You got a pair of swim trunks with you?”
Mark nodded and flashed his pearly whites. “Yeah, of course, I do.”
“Alright, you guys go get your swimsuits, and I’ll get mine and meet you guys at Sara’s.”
“Okay!” Jack chimed in, starting to ride and beckoning Mark and me to come along. A few minutes later, I had put my purple and blue bikini on underneath my tank top and shorts, Jack and Mark had put on their trunks, and we were waiting for Noah to come over so we could head out. After what felt like forever, Simon trotted into sight; there were saddle bags attached that normally weren’t there.
“What’s with the saddle bags?”
“Lunch,” he replied with a smile. “You guys ready?”
After a group nod, we set off at a slow pace, Jack in the lead because he “knows this place better than the rest of us.” What a little ham. I assumed Mark wanted to keep a bit of distance from Noah—probably to keep him from getting too jealous—because he was sticking close to Jack instead of back with Noah and me, which gave us the chance to talk.
“You know, you’re really weirding Mark out,” I mentioned.
He glanced at me. “That’s not my intention, but don’t you think I have the right to be a little weirded out by him?”
“I’m not saying you don’t, but that doesn’t mean you should be so passive aggressive. He is still a very close friend of mine, you know. Just because you’re a little jealous of him doesn’t mean you have the right to be a dick.”
“Woah, that’s taking it a little far. Why would I be jealous of him? Is he getting something I’m not?”
I cut my eyes at him. “You know I didn’t mean it like that,” I hissed. God, men, can be so defensive sometimes. There may have been a touch of attitude in my tone because, frankly, I was kinda irritated. Okay, I was pissed. Not because he was jealous—even though he said he wasn’t, he definitely was—it was what he insinuated with his question. “Is he getting something I’m not?”
“What ‘something’ are you referring to, Noah? Sex? Because if you think I’m the type of girl who will date someone and have sex with someone else behind his back, why the hell would you want to be with me?”
He sensed the attitude and responded in turn.
“How am I supposed to know that? I’m just a dumb bull rider, anyway.”
“Noah, quit being ridiculous. Mark and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. Don’t you think I can tell that makes you feel threatened? Every damn time he says two words to me, hugs me, or calls me ‘Lace,’ I see the way your jaw tenses up like you’re trying to hold back from kicking his ass. Pardon me if I don’t want the drama. Or if I don’t want to have to tiptoe around the subject that one of my closest friends came to visit me.”
As far as I was concerned, nothing I said was out of line or wrong in any way. Apparently, Noah disagreed because he blew his top. His face got all red and he pulled Simon to a complete halt. “Are you kidding me right now? What is your problem, Laci?” His tone changed from the hushed murmurs we had been using to avoid being heard into a full-out bark. “I have had nothing but bad experiences with women—especially with city girls! So, pardon me if it’s difficult for me to trust random strangers that stroll into my life and make me feel like my newfound relationship is about to go down the shitter!”
“Noah,” I said, my voice shaky. I may have a sassy mouth and the ability to shoot it off at the worst possible times, but I’m not one to air my confrontations where others can hear. It can be rather uncomfortable, and at the moment, I was exactly that. “Noah, please stop raising your voice at me.” Tears sprang to my eyes, and I suddenly wanted to gallop off somewhere nobody could see me. Crying in front of people has never been my favorite thing to do.
I didn’t realize that Mark and Jack had come back to us until I heard Mark’s voice: “Woah, man, there’s no need to talk to her like that. I’m not trying to cause any trouble here. Lace and I have already dis-”
“Oh for Christ’s sake, drop the good guy act, pretty boy! Anyone with eyes can see that you’re in love with her. I mean, you don’t even attempt to hide it, do you? The very first thing you saw when you got here was that we were together and holding hands. And, you still did everything in your power to make me feel threatened! Well, guess what? It’s working! You happy?”
He finished his tirade and slid off the horse, panting in anger. I sat there, completely dumbfounded at what he’d just said. I knew he tried his hardest to keep up the tough guy ruse and tamp down the jealousy, but he just admitted that he was feeling threatened by Mark—and directly to his face, no less.
I dismounted and walked over to him. I tried to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off angrily. This type of angry confrontation was more than I knew how to handle. The blind fury he was demonstrating was more than just uncomfortable, it was terrifying. “Noah,” I started hesitantly. “Noah, you’re scaring me.”
When he heard those words, his whole demeanor changed from fuming and practically smoking at the ears to a look of utter defeat. “I’m scaring you?” he whispered, rubbing his jaw—no doubt from the extreme tension that was built up in it. “I…” He shook his head without saying another word. Then, in one swift motion, he mounted the horse and rode away. I stood there in stunned silence, crying as I stared after him. A moment later, I felt a small hand on my shoulder.
“Laci, come on, let’s go to the lake. It’ll make you feel better. Don’t worry about Noah. Take it from somebody who knows him—he’ll get over it,” Jack insisted. “Just give him some space. Let’s go.” How did my little cousin get so wise? I wondered.
Numbly, I crawled back onto the horse and followed behind Jackson until we got to the lake. Mark rode silently beside me. Jack used his favorite trick to keep the horses where they belonged when we arrived: he took out three heavy-duty carabineers and clipped the reins of each horse onto a small guard rail nearby. The guys tried to get me to jump in the water as soon as we got there, but I told them to go ahead and enjoy themselves. I just wanted to lie in the heat of the sun for a little while.
After reassuring Mark that I was fine what felt like a hundred times—I could tell he still didn’t completely believe me, but didn’t want to press the subject—they both peeled off their shirts and shoes and went sprinting for the cool water. A bunch of splashes later, and I was finally able to tune out all of the noise and lie back on my towel in an attempt to loosen my tense muscles. I shimmied out of my shorts and t-shirt and lay there, soaking in the warmth.
Then, my mind drifted to the oh-so-lovely Noah Tucker—or, as I saw him at the moment, the not-so-lovely Noah Tucker. I couldn’t make any sense of what had just happened. Granted, I may not have known him for particularly long, but I hadn’t thought he’d have such a hot temper. From the way he interacted with his mom and with Jack, he had always seemed to be gentle in nature, even if he had a dickish act to hold up. But in reality, it was just a tiny little thing that took him from mildly irritated to full-on Hulk-smash, and that scared me.
If he couldn’t handle a challenge as small as my best friend giving me a hug and calling me by a lifelong nickname, how was he going to handle being several states apart while I acted and probably had to kiss other men for my job? Was he going to come barging in stage left and land a right hook square on the other actor’s jaw? Whether the second question was serious or not, the fact that it ran through my head at all raised a red flag. I still believed that Noah would treat me right. I had no reason to believe he’d ever lay a hand on me; after all, as angry as he seemed, he never made a move toward physical violence, but if he had a temper like that normally, how long could we expect things to stay intact before they totally imploded?
That brought another important question to mind: if things, by some miracle, didn’t implode, where was this relationship going? I was by no means looking to get married and settle down in the near future, but I am at a point where I definitely don’t want to be in a relationship if I don’t see it going anywhere. Considering how close my career was to taking off, a serious relationship was the only kind I wanted. Some people may say that’s counterintuitive because a relationship might be distracting if I want to focus on my career. They would suggest I date around and keep my options open. No strings. However, that’s just not my style. I want to be with someone who’s going to support me through all of the challenges of the business and wants to stick with me.
Call me entitled for thinking that way, but my parents always told me to never settle when it comes to a man; now more than ever, I wasn’t going to disregard their advice.
Speaking of advice, there was one person I could definitely get advice from that I still hadn’t spoken to. Emily. I reached under the towel I was lying on and grabbed my phone, going right for my favorites tab to click on the name “Emmy-Wemmy.” (She hates when I call her that, so naturally, I saved her number under that name in my phone.) After four rings, a breathless Emmy-Wemmy answered.
“Well, long time, no hear,” she huffed.
“Why do you sound like you’re exercising? You never exercise!”
I heard her gulping water before she answered. “Yeah, and this is no exception. I just carried a shit ton of groceries in from the car. I didn’t realize that I could be so out of shape and still fit into a size four.” She sighed. “Anyway, to what do I owe the pleasure, ranch girl?”
“Can’t I just call my Emmy-Wemmy to chat?”
“Shut the hell up with that nickname and tell me what’s going on. I can hear it in your voice.”
“I need advice.”
“Well, lucky you, because I’m a treasure trove of advice. Shoot.”
“It’s a long story. Are you sitting down?”
“Woman, do you know me at all? My ass met the couch the second I plopped the groceries down. Mother Langer is putting the groceries away herself.”
“You’re so classy. Tell her I said hi!”
“Mom, your second daughter says hi!” A second later, I heard her mom saying something in the background, then Em’s voice said, “She says hello and she loves you. Anyways, get on with the story.”
“Alright, here goes nothing. So, you remember how I told you about Noah, right? How he’s an asshole, and I wanted to punch him in the face?”
She gasped. “Did you do it? Please tell me you did it!”
“No. Actually, it’s the opposite. I…umm…kissed him in the face, instead. We’re kinda sorta together now.”
“What the hell? How’d that happen?”
I rattled off the first part of the story in what I swear was one breath.
“Well, I wasn’t expecting that. But alright. What do you need advice about?” she said.
“That’s the tricky part,” I told her. “Mark’s here.”
“Oh boy.”
“Yeah. And, you know how he is. Let’s just say that Noah is less than thrilled about him being touchy-feely. At first, I felt like a total ass for turning Mark down only to end up with a guy I just met a few weeks later, but there’s just a spark there, you know? Like, I gotta do what makes me happy, right?”
“Girl, do your thang!” she said in that Rosie Perez way of hers.
I smiled. I knew she’d respond like that.
“Good, I’m glad you agree. But Mark, Noah, Jack, and I were all riding to the lake when I mentioned to Noah that he was kind of weirding Mark out, and he flipped his cap. He got loud, saying that he wasn’t jealous, and he implied that if I thought he was jealous, I had to be doing something behind his back to make him jealous. So then, he blew up on both me and Mark, and you know how I am about that; it freaked me the hell out. I told him he was scaring me, and he just completely deflated and went home without another word. Now, I’m laying out in the sun while Mark and Jack are in the lake, and I have no idea what to do. Like, I can’t just discount the relationship because I feel like there’s something there, but what he did was really shitty, y’know?”
“So, tell him that. Tell him that you think you guys could have something, but what he did was really shitty. I don’t know why you insist on making things so complicated.”
“But it makes me question things. Should I really be with someone whose temper freaks me out like that? Mark has never done anything like that to me. He’s never scared me or made me worry that things might not work out. It just feels like I’m being unfair to him. Dad always told me not to settle.”
“Huh. That’s a sticky situation. What’s your gut telling you?”
“I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking you, damnit! Help!” I begged.
“I know what you mean as far as feeling like you’re being unfair to Mark, but you said no to him in the first place for a reason, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I told him it was because I wanted to focus on my career. Now, it feels like no matter what I do, I turned him down for no reason because part of me wants to be in a really solid relationship to help myself get through the stresses of the business. And nobody understands them better than Mark because he lives them daily. And, since he’s loved me for who knows how long, the reality is he’d be willing to tough it all out and stick with me. But I can’t shake the feeling that there’s just something there with Noah, there’s just this spark. I don’t know him nearly as well, but the fact that I don’t want to forget about him in comparison to Mark feels like it means something. What do I do?”
“Honestly, I think you should pick Noah.”
“Well, that was blunt. Why?”
“You said it yourself; you can’t get yourself to forget about him, even up against someone you’ve known for over a decade. And, if things don’t work with him, Mark will probably still be there in the end.”
“So you’re saying that Mark should essentially be a backup plan?”
“Kind of sounded that way, but not really. I’m just saying that if Noah is this important to you, you shouldn’t just forget about the relationship you guys have. Talk to him, see what he has to say for himself. Things might work out. If they don’t, he’s not the only fish in the sea, is what I really mean. I’m a firm believer in what’s meant to be will be. If by some chance Mark is the one you’re meant to be with, that will come back around. If it’s Noah, you don’t want to write him off before you give him a chance.”
Just as she finished saying that, Mark and Jack started out of the water toward me. I told Emily she was a genius and that I’d call her later and hung up.
“Who were you talking to that you had to hang up so fast?” Jack questioned.
“Well, Mister Nosey. It was Emily, if you must know.”
He eyed me suspiciously and then said, “I’m starving, and since Noah left with the food, our only option is to go home to eat.”
“So soon? We’ve only been here like twenty minutes!”
“Food comes first,” Mark cut in. They both stood there, dripping wet and staring at me.
“What are you looking at me like that for? Get your towels and get on the horses, then!”
A few hoots and hollers later, and we were all mounted and riding back to the ranch. I wasn’t looking forward to dropping Ella off at Noah’s ranch, but I didn’t intend to actually see him, just let Jack put her in the stable then go.
Along the way, I thought about what Emily had said. “Mark will probably still be there in the end.” Did it make me a terrible person that I took solace in that? It was nice to think that even if things didn’t work out with Noah, I could still have someone to lean on when all was said and done.
I guess I had my answer.