Chapter Thirty-Nine
Brady
“I can’t believe it’s been a month since Harold died. It feels unreal still. You know, I still get to the ranch sometimes and think I’m going to see him.”
Sloan sighed. “I feel the same way. For a man that didn’t say much, he had quite a presence about him. And you know, he never asked me about what was going on. I knew that he knew. I could just tell that he had figured it out. I mean, you just had to go on the internet and it was all over the place. But he didn’t once ask me about it. He was so much like you in that regard. In fact, he was so good to me despite what had happened.”
I nodded. “Harold was a man that didn’t judge anyone. He got to know everyone despite what other people said.”
“I’m still so glad I got to meet him. So, how are you feeling about today?”
Today was a day I had been dreading for the past week. Ever since Sloan and I had that conversation about my father, it had been playing on my mind. She had been kind enough not to bring it up again, but it hadn’t stopped me from thinking about it. And so, a week ago, I plucked up the courage to call Ian. I wasn’t ready to speak to my father just yet, but talking to Ian was a big jump for me already. He’d been so surprised to hear from me, and even though it was awkward at first, soon we were laughing like brothers again. We chatted for a long time. I couldn’t believe how much he had changed in the past few years. It seemed that meeting a girl had done him good. He was easy to talk to, and a lot more accepting of things. He’s the one that convinced me to come and see my father.
“I’m nervous,” I admitted to Sloan.
“Well, that’s natural.”
“And a part of me feels bad. I mean, Harold is the one that was there for me these past few years. I feel like I’m betraying him.”
“Are you crazy? Harold would’ve been so happy to know that you were doing this. You know what he was like. He loved you, Brady, but he would’ve wanted this for you.”
“You’re right. Thanks for coming with me by the way.”
“Anytime,” she smiled.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her. If she wasn’t coming along, I knew that I would’ve back out already. The whole morning I’d been thinking of not going, but she wouldn’t hear it.
“Okay,” I said. “Are you ready? I think it’s time we hit the road.”
“I’m ready.”
“You really think this is a good idea? What if we fight? What if we can’t stand to be around each other?”
“Then we turn around and come back home. I’m here for you, Brady, no matter what.”
“Okay, then let’s go before I change my mind.”
When we arrived in Arizona, it was just before lunch the following day. We’d stayed over at a motel on the way just to get a few hours’ sleep and it was good to finally arrive. I’d spoken to Ian on the way and he’d assured me that our father was in his office. I parked the car and saw that my hands were trembling.
“You can do this, Brady,” Sloan said.
“It is so strange to be back here.”
“You grew up here, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “I did. But I haven’t been back for years. I haven’t seen my father since I was eighteen. That feels like a lifetime ago.”
“Come on, let’s go in. Sometimes it’s better not to even think about it. Want me to stay in the car while you see him?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to do this without Sloan. “No, I want you with me. If you don’t mind?”
“Of course I don’t mind.”
We got out of the car, and Sloan immediately took my hand. I saw someone give her a strange look and I quickly ushered her inside. I forgot that people would probably recognize her and that the media would be on her back if they caught wind of where she was. I hadn’t actually realized how much she was risking just to be there for me. I squeezed her hand and smiled at her.
I saw my father’s office in the distance and stopped short just before going in. I had to compose myself and take a few breaths before carrying on. Then I looked at Sloan and nodded. “Let’s do this,” I said.
I walked into my father’s office and couldn’t help but smile at the figure that was hunched over the desk. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and for a few seconds he didn’t even notice that we had walked in. When he looked up, I was shocked at how much older he was. In my mind, I still thought of him as he was the last time that we had seen each other.
“Brady? Brady is that you?” he said.
I nodded. “Hey, Pop.”
“Oh, Brady. I can’t believe my eyes. What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. I . . . well, I just wanted to see you again.”
My father stood up, walked around his desk, and took me in his arms. He was thinner than I remembered but I wasn’t sure if that was because of his age or because of the cancer. It felt strange being in his arms. I couldn’t remember the last time that he’d even hugged me. Not since my mother was still alive. When we pulled away, I saw that he was crying. And I realized, so was I.
“Brady, my boy. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” my father whispered over and over again.
“I’m sorry too, Pop,” I said. I hadn’t expected to hear myself apologizing, so it took me by surprise.
“Don’t you dare apologize to me. I owe you the world of apologies. It’s so good to see you. Wow, you’ve grown so much. You . . . oh, Brady, you look just like your mother.”
I smiled. It was true; I looked a lot like her. Sloan had told me the same thing. It was then that I remembered that Sloan was standing next to me. She looked tearful when I looked at her.
“Pop, I’d like you to meet Sloan. She’s . . . uh . . . .” I trailed off. Sloan and I still hadn’t discussed what we were to each other.
Sloan walked forward and took his hand. “I’m his girlfriend,” she said and flashed me a smile.
My father looked at Sloan and grinned. “His girlfriend? Wow, it’s great to meet you. You’re beautiful. Sorry, I hope that’s not too forward. But you really are beautiful. Brady, you did well here.”
I beamed. “Oh, trust me, Pop, I know. I tell myself that every day. Are you free for lunch?”
“Of course I am.”
We went to say hello to Ian, who was working hard next door on a client’s bike. It was good to see him again, and it was even better introducing Sloan to him. I was proud to have a girlfriend like her to show off to my family. Afterward, we made our way out to lunch where my father and I spent a good portion of the time talking through our problems. It was mostly due to Sloan who seemed adamant that we needed to talk it out before the two of us headed back to Wyoming.
“I still can’t believe that you’re here,” my father said.
“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in the hospital. Are you okay now? What’s going on?”
“Don’t be sorry. When you wouldn’t accept my apology all those years ago, I became so angry at you. I shut you off completely. But deep down, I was always just so upset with myself for what I did. Not seeing you was almost a way to ignore what happened. I’m not like that anymore, Brady. I was so messed up when your mother died. I drank to make myself feel nothing. But really, all I felt was rage. And I loved you boys more than you think. But sometimes, you were too much of a reminder of the fact that she was gone. I’m so sorry. I don’t blame you for not visiting me in the hospital. I really don’t. And I’m okay, Brady. It was a long process, and I’m not completely fine. But I’m getting stronger every day.”
“I’m glad to hear of it.”
“How’s Grant, by the way? I was so angry when he left. But he sounds so happy. And he’s come to visit a few times. I cannot believe how well he fits in your town. He’s not a city boy at heart, that’s for sure.”
I laughed. “He’s not. Will you come and visit us, Pop? Grant and I live right next door to each other, and I have plenty space.”
“I’d love that. So, do you still ride?” he asked.
I shook my head. I used to love riding on my motorcycle when I was younger, and I’d continued with it for a few years even after I stopped talking to my father. But it reminded me so much of my old life that I eventually stopped.
“Not for a very long time. Although, seeing the bikes in the shop did make me realize that I miss it more than I thought I did.”
“As much as some of you boys don’t want to admit it, it’s in your blood. Want to take Sloan for a spin? I’m sure you haven’t forgotten how to ride.”
I grinned. I hadn’t for one minute thought that I’d be riding that day. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. Then again, I also hadn’t thought my father and I would resolve things as quickly as we did. “Yes! Let’s do it.”
We finished our lunch and made our way back to the bike shop. Ian let me use his bike, and we got Sloan an extra helmet. She climbed up behind me and wrapped her arms around me as I took off. My father climbed on his bike and led the way. I followed my father through the streets of Arizona and smiled at the familiar sights, as well as the familiar feeling of being on the bike again. It was incredible. I still couldn’t believe where I was and what was happening. My father was in front of me. My father, whom I had just spent a few hours hugging and crying with. And Sloan was behind me, holding onto me and shrieking in delight.
Later on, when we said our goodbyes and made promises to visit again, we got into the car. I was still feeling elated from the day as I turned to look at Sloan. Her hair was a mess from the bike ride, but it only made her look more beautiful. I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Your hair.”
“What?” she said and quickly pulled down the mirror to look at herself. She gasped and tried to straighten it back down. “How long has it been like this?”
I laughed. “Not long. And don’t fix it. You’re adorable. That’s the way you look when you wake up in the morning.”
“I look like this? Seriously? Poor you.”
“No. Lucky me.”
She smiled. “How are you feeling? That went a lot better than I thought it would.”
“What? You told me it was going to go well!”
“I know. But I didn’t think it would go this well. I’ve never seen a man has happy as your father. You did good today, Brady.”
“I wouldn’t have done it without you. I’ve never been this happy before, Sloan. You’re the missing piece that my life needed. I love you.”
“I love you too, Brady.”
“Let’s head back. I have a sudden urge to get you into bed, and that motel is calling our name.”
She laughed. “With hair like this, it’s where I belong, anyway.”