Chapter Thirteen
Ian
I woke up on Sunday morning feeling more excited to see Eliza than I was to go to the motorcycle club meeting. The previous one had been canceled, so I was worried that this was going to end up being a long and drawn-out affair. I hoped there’d at least be some food or beer to keep me entertained. But when I arrived, I could see that it was going to be all business and no play. I made my way around, saying hello to all the members that had come. I was surprised by how many of them had made the effort. I spotted Grant and groaned. Grant always seemed to pop up when there was something important going on, but didn’t seem to come to anything else. He was barely part of the club, but he came to the fundraiser, and he came to the meetings. And he always pretended like he cared. Because of that, I was sure that my father thought he was perfect. I might not smile or tell my dad things that he wants to hear, but at least I was honest and hard-working. I’d never let anyone in the club or in the shop down. At least you always knew where you stood with me. And yet, it was obvious, that Grant was my father’s favorite son.
“Hey, Patriot,” I said as I got near.
“Gunner, hey. Nice to see you.”
“Sure. Any of the other guys coming?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I spoke to Shotgun the other day, and he said he was going to come. He said he’d try to convince Knuckles to come with him. But you know what they’re like. Shotgun is so busy with that damn ranch, and Knuckles is probably training for his next MMA fight. I doubt they’ll come.”
Ryan, or Knuckles as we called him, was a professional MMA fighter, and he practically lived and breathed that scene. And Brady, or Shotgun, owned his own ranch, and spent more time with his real horses than with his iron ones these days.
“Yeah, I doubt they’ll come. The meeting is about to start, anyway. How about ol’ Moneymaker? He coming?”
“He prefers being called ‘Reed’ these days,” Patriot said.
I was about to ask why when my father walked in and called everyone to attention. As usual, I was impressed at how well everyone responded to my father. He commanded respect without having to raise his voice. I always wondered how he managed to do it.
“Thanks so much for coming, everyone. I know it’s hard to get away on a Sunday sometimes. As much as we all hate responsibility, it’s impossible not to have any. And some of us aren’t as young and carefree as we used to be. Obviously, I’m not talking about myself,” he said, and everyone laughed.
For a while, he took everyone through club matters and highlighted upcoming events and over issues. He opened up the conversation for discussion, and everyone came forth with their own ideas. Even when the ideas were ridiculous, my father listened and showed interest. How he didn’t laugh, I had no idea.
“Okay, and now, to end off, I’d like to announce the person who I am going to choose to take over from me. I was lying before; I’m definitely not young and carefree anymore. And it’s time for new blood to take over this club. Of course, as usual, this person doesn’t have to say yes, and a final decision will be made in a week or two.”
Everyone leaned in to listen. I saw Patriot’s eyes light up and I knew that my father was going to announce his name. I was almost sure that it was why Patriot had come in the first place. My father had probably told him that he was going to be announcing his name. The whole thing was probably all set up in advance. He’d always been the favorite amongst all the brothers. In my father’s eyes, Patriot could do no wrong.
“Of course, I’m sure this doesn’t come as a surprise to many of you. But the person that I’m choosing is one of the hardest working men I know,” my father was saying. I scowled at Patriot. He wasn’t hard-working. Where did my father get that from? “Ian, it would be an honor if you took over my job.”
Everyone burst into applause. I was still scowling at Patriot, waiting for him to go up and shake my father’s hand. But everyone was looking at me. And then I realized what my father had just said. He’d chosen me. Not Patriot.
For a while, I just stood staring at everyone while they all stared back at me. Then I blinked, walked up to my father and shook his hand. Thankfully, he didn’t ask me to say anything, and once I’d walked back to my place, the conversation moved onto the date for the next meeting. The moment the meeting came to a close, I hurried out before talking to either my father or Patriot. I didn’t know what to do with my thoughts, and I was scared that if I opened my mouth, I’d say something I regretted. So I got on my bike and quickly rode off.
Instead of going home, I decided to go straight to Eliza’s. It was an hour earlier than I had planned but I didn’t quite feel like being at home alone. It was only when I knocked on her door that I realized I probably should’ve given her a heads up. Thankfully, Eliza didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Gunner! Oh no! Is it time already?” she said.
I smiled at her. She was wearing little denim shorts, which frayed ever so slightly at the bottom. I felt like reaching over and pulling on the threads. Perhaps her entire pair of shorts would come apart. I wondered what she was wearing underneath. I blinked to stop my thoughts from heading that way. With the shorts, she had on a pretty yellow shirt, and, as usual, she was wearing sneakers. This time they were blue and white.
“Cute,” I said and eyed her up and down. “And you’re not late. I’m early. Hope you don’t mind.”
She grinned. “Not at all. Let me get my coat.”
She grabbed her coat and walked outside with me. I looked down at her feet and chuckled.
“Why are you laughing?” she asked.
“Do you always wear sneakers?”
“Pretty much. Why? Is that a problem?”
I shook my head. “No, not at all. I like it. It suits you.”
“Good. I know I’m a bit on the short side, but heels feel ridiculous to me. I like to be comfortable.”
She was the most interesting girl I’d ever met. I handed her a helmet. “Comfort is good. Hop on. We’re going for a ride.”
I didn’t feel like taking her out to eat again. I wanted her to wrap her arms around me while I drove through the streets of Arizona. I wanted her to feel what it was like to be on a bike for that long. There was nothing in the world that could clear my head quite like a bike ride. We rode for about an hour, and then, I found a small clearing to stop. It was my favorite place to sit, and it was the first time that I’d ever taken a girl with me. But I didn’t tell her that.
“I bet you take all the girls here,” she said and looked out. “I don’t blame you. It’s wonderful.”
“Yep, it’s my number one spot to make my first move,” I lied.
She laughed. “Must work like a charm. Lucky you’ve already made your first move on me. So now you can just sit back and enjoy the view.”
“That’s what I’m doing,” I said and looked at her.
She groaned. “So cheesy.”
“Ah, don’t lie. You like it.”
“Actually, I do. So, how did the meeting go today? I’d love to be a fly on the wall at one of those things. Goodness, the testosterone must be high.”
I laughed. “We do have women members too, you know.”
“You do?”
“Well, not too many. They’re outnumbered. But I have a feeling that’s going to change one day. Most of the women members have only joined in the past few years. It’s cool, though. They’re badass.”
“I bet they don’t look anything like me,” she said.
I looked at her, in her bright yellow shirt, her little shorts, and her tiny heart necklace and laughed. “Nothing at all like you. You’re one of a kind, Lashes.”
“So, who runs the club?” she asked.
“Well, it’s funny you say that,” I said. “My father has been head of the club for a very long time. The main reason for the meeting today was for him to announce the person he has chosen to take over. I assumed it was going to be my brother, Patriot. I mean, he’s my father’s favorite son.”
“And it wasn’t?”
“Nope,” I said. The reality of the situation still hadn’t sunk in. I shook my head. “It’s me.”
“What? That’s amazing! Wait, you don’t look like this is amazing news. Aren’t you happy with the decision?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t expect it. And the whole thing is so confusing to me. I know you like my dad. Most people do. But he’s tough on me. And for the most part, I get the impression that he doesn’t really like me all that much. He’s always complaining about the things that I don’t do, rather than praising the things that I do. He said my name, and it took me a while to comprehend that he meant me.”
“Are you going to accept?”
“Honestly? I have no idea. I haven’t even thought about it. I pretty much walked out of the meeting and came to get you.”
“You didn’t speak to your father?”
“I didn’t know what to say.”
“You know, you should consider talking to him the way you talk to me,” she said.
“I don’t know, Eliza. I find it easy to talk to pretty girls.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, flirting comes a lot easier to you than everything else. Trust me, I’ve noticed.”
What I didn’t tell her was that she was the first woman that I’d ever truly opened up to. The first woman that I’ve ever spoken candidly with. I’d always been a closed book, with guys and girls alike. I thought it was simply a part of who I was and that I’d never change. So why then did I find it so easy to talk to her?
“So,” she said. “Exactly how many brothers do you have?”
I groaned. “Four.”
“And they’re all part of the club?”
“Hmm. They’ll tell you that they are. But they’re never there. I also have five cousins who are in the club. For a family this big, it’s a little sad that I’m the only one that truly gets involved.”
“No wonder your dad chose you. So, you’re Gunner. What about the others? Do they all have nicknames?”
“Oh yeah, wanna hear them?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, let’s see. Ryan is Knuckles, Brady is Shotgun, Grant is Patriot and Reed is Moneymaker. Those are my brothers.”
“Moneymaker?”
“He’s a doctor. And trust me, he’s not in the business to save people. Okay, and I have six cousins in the club, too. Josh is Bulldog, Max is Maverick, Xavier is Fireball, Silas is Country, Dominic is Maddog, and Axel is Renegade. And, of course, you’re not in the club, but you’re Lashes.”
Eliza clapped her hands in delight. “I love this. Oh, I have so many questions.”
I chuckled. My mood had instantly improved since being with Eliza. “Bring it on.”
Chapter Fourteen
Eliza
I stood outside my office and looked up at the derelict building. Not so long ago I’d stood at that exact spot and worried that I was about to be scammed. But now I smiled every time I saw the building. John had told me that he was not responsible for the upkeep of the building and that he’d been fighting for years to get someone to come and paint it. But there was something about the run-down building that I was growing to love. It reminded me to not judge a book by its cover. Because all someone had to do was take a few extra steps and walk inside. Then they’d discover a beautiful office with bright, cheery colors. I almost hoped the outside never got renovated.
I walked in and saw that Mae was sitting with John inside his office. I could swear she was bending over so that he could see her cleavage and I couldn’t help but chuckle. I wished I could come right out and ask him if he liked her, but it wasn’t my place. They would have to do that on their own accord. And I didn’t want things to get awkward in the office. The last thing I wanted was for Mae to leave. When she came out, she was all smiles.
“Hey. Good meeting?” I said and winked.
“Great meeting,” she said and pulled up a chair. “John said he’s working on something big. He didn’t tell me what it was but he said it’s going to be huge, and he wants you and I to work on it together. He reckons we make a good team.”
“He’s right. I totally agree.”
“That’s what I said. I can’t wait. I don’t know when we’re going to hear about it, but I’m hoping it’s going to be soon. Anyway, he said he sent you an email. He wants you to work on some small project for him today. It’s a quick thing. I think he sent one to me too.”
“Okay, cool. I’ll check it out. I looked at my emails not so long ago, so he’s probably only sending it now.”
“Yeah, he was going to do it as soon as I left his office. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were free tonight?”
“Tonight? Yep, I’ve got nothing on.” Other than spending time with Ian, I actually didn’t have much of a social life. I still didn’t really know anyone in the city. Which was fine by me. I was enjoying things as they were.
“Good. How about we go for some drinks after work? There’s this new wine bar that’s opened up, and I’m dying to try it.”
“I’m always in for wine. Sounds good.”
“Great. Well, I better get to work. I’ll see you later,” she said, and then I laughed as she pushed herself off from my desk and wheeled all the way to her desk. She crashed against Paul, one of the other workers who sat right behind her. He just grinned. Mae was always doing things like that in the office, so it came as no surprise.
I checked my email, and sure enough, there was a message from John. He had a list of things that he wanted me to look up and price, and it was enough work to keep me going all day. Both Mae and I pretty much kept our heads down throughout the rest of the day. And just before the day finished, I was able to send John everything that he had asked for. I switched off my computer, gathered my things, and walked up to Mae. She held up her hand when she saw me, quickly typed out a few more sentences, and then pressed send on her email. She looked at me and grinned.
“Just in time.”
“Got it all done?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yep. I work well when I know there’s wine in my future. Come on, let’s go.”
Paul looked at us and sighed. “Is this an all-girls thing?”
I laughed, “No. Of course not. Sorry, I just assumed you’d be busy. Do you want to come? You’re more than welcome.”
“Yes. But I can’t. I have baby duty tonight.”
“Only tonight? Shouldn’t you have baby duty every night?” Mae asked him.
Paul’s wife had just had a baby, and while Paul complained all the time about how tired he was, it was clear that he was overjoyed by their new arrival.
“Don’t remind me,” he said and groaned.
“Liar! You love it,” I said.
He grinned. “Yeah, but only because I get to be a child all over again.”
I laughed and made my way out with Mae.
“Think we’ll ever be as happy as Paul is?” she asked.
“Are you kidding? We’ll be even happier. And when things get tough, we’ll just help each other out. And by that, I mean our husbands will look after the kids together while we go to wine bars.”
Mae giggled. “I like the way you think, Eliza,” she said. I wondered if she was thinking about John when she was thinking of her husband. I wondered who I was thinking of but realized that I didn’t have anyone in mind at all. That was both a sad thought and a good one. There was a time when I was certain that I would marry Raymond. The thought made me feel a little ill inside. “
“Well, this is the place,” Mae said. It had only taken us about ten minutes to walk from the office.
I looked up and grinned. The wine bar was everything that Mae had promised it to be. It was cozy and romantic, with concealed lights and brick walls. “Wow, this is very romantic,” I said. “Are you sure you want to be here with me and not with John?”
“I’d rather be here with John,” she admitted. “But you’re definitely first runner-up.”
“I guess you’re honest,” I said.
We decided to do a wine tasting so that we wouldn’t have to concern ourselves with which wine to get. The waitress came over with five different glasses, all poured halfway with wine. She explained which each one was and then left us to drink on our own.
“Wow, they’re quite generous with their portions,” Mae said. “Usually you get only a tiny little taster. I think we may have found our regular haunt.”
I looked around and grinned. “I can deal with that. And it’s right by work!”
“Walking distance from work and home. Well, a bit far from home, but walkable. We’ve definitely found our place.”
“I love that I have already found a place and I’ve hardly been in the city for long.” I thought back to California. I’d never had a place there. And I hadn’t realized how much of life I had been missing out on since being with Raymond. I’d lost a lot of friends over the years who didn’t take kindly to me never being able to go out with them. If Raymond even caught a whiff of the idea that a man would be there, then he’d find some excuse for me to rather stay home. Eventually, it just got easier to not try and go out at all. I pretended that home life with Raymond was the only thing that I needed.
“Yeah, you’re doing well. So, how are you finding Arizona by the way? Do you ever miss California?”
“No, this is my home now.” I said it with so much certainty that it even took me by surprise.
“Seriously? You’re not going back?”
“You sound surprised.”
“I guess I always just thought that California was this amazing place. It’s actually one of the places I haven’t been to, but I always hear good things. I figured this was just some sort of stopover until you go back again.”
“It is a cool place. I suppose. But a home is not really about the place, and more about the people. I love this job, and I love you. And quite frankly, I feel more at home here than I’ve ever felt anywhere in my whole life. Maybe this was the place that I was meant to be in. Right now, I have no intention of going anywhere. We’ll see, though. I’ve learned that in life you can’t make too many plans. Sometimes things just happen. But right now, I don’t see myself moving back. I’m happy here.”
“That’s good to hear. I don’t want you to leave. I’d be super upset if you left. I haven’t found someone that I’ve connected to so quickly in a very long time. And Chandler is amazing. The more you get to know it the more you fall in love with it. I’ve lived here my whole life, and even though I’ve traveled to so many places, I’m always happy when I come home.”
I smiled. “That’s nice to hear.”
“Tell me about Raymond. Have you heard from him since moving here?”
I sighed. Raymond had been calling me on and off for several days now. Part of me wanted to tell Mae that I didn’t want to talk about him, and part of me wanted to tell her everything. I knew I couldn’t ignore my life with him forever. I had to accept what had happened, and be open and honest about it. That was probably the only way that I could fully move on from it. “Yep. He called me. I didn’t tell him where I was, though. He threatened me and told me that he was going to find me.”
“What? Are you serious? You should’ve told me. You know you can talk to me anytime, Eliza. Okay? Have you told the police?”
“No, there’s nothing to tell. He’s just talk. I mean, what is he going to do when he finds me? We’ve broken up. It’s not like we were married or anything. I’m sure he’ll forget about me eventually. And yeah, I know that I can come to you. I guess it was easier to just . . . not think about it.”
“Was it really that bad between you?”
I picked up my second wine glass and took a sip. The first glass had gone down so fast.
“He used to hit me. Look, he wasn’t a bad guy when I met him. I wouldn’t have gone out with him if he was. But he became very possessive. I guess that side of him was always there, but I didn’t see it until after we’d moved in together. Before that, it was all sunshine and roses. But it didn’t take long for me to start seeing a side to him that I really didn’t like. He used to check my phone, and he always wanted to know where I was at all times. At first, I thought he was just being protective. But there’s a fine line between protective and possessive. I found that out the hard way.”
“Oh, Eliza. I’m so sorry. You said he was a charmer, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I mean, if he walked in right now you’d probably wonder what on earth I was talking about. I sound like I’m lying when you meet him. I guess that’s what made it so hard. Because nobody else could see what I saw. And then he started hitting me. It wasn’t a lot at first. But it started becoming more and more frequent. He also started drinking more. And when he drank, he didn’t try to hide the abusive side of his personality. In fact, he seemed to embrace it. I guess one day, I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I don’t blame you. I’m glad you got out of there when you did.”
“Yeah, leaving without telling him was the only way that I could see myself getting out of it. A clean break. The best thing that I’ve ever done.”
“How are you so upbeat about all of this? I’d be a mess. Yet here you are. New city, new job, and you’re really kicking ass at it all. And I never see you upset. How do you do it?”
“Oh, trust me. I get upset. But I think I’m just more relieved than anything else. Every time I find myself getting upset or angry, I just tell myself that I’m better off without him. I look around at my apartment, or I come and talk to you, and I feel better every time. I did the right thing. And I’m going to keep on doing the right thing.”
“I’m proud of you, Eliza. You know, you should just leave guys alone for a while. You’ve got an awesome job now, and you finally have your own apartment. You should just enjoy being by yourself for a while. Learn to love yourself and all that. I know it’s a cliché. But it’s true. And when you’re ready, the right guy will come.”
I nodded and reached for more wine. I still hadn’t told Mae that I’d slept with Ian. Or Gorgeous Gunner as I’d taken to calling him in my head. Mae was right of course. I really did need to be by myself for a while. But it wasn’t going to be easy with a man like Ian in the picture. He was very hard to ignore.