Chapter Eight
Ian
I went home after I dropped Kristie off, feeling bad all over again. I felt bad for asking her out when I was desperate for company. I never really wanted to see her. I wanted an escape and what I got was the same old miserable deal as I had gotten in the past. Only now, I had led her to believe that I wanted to pursue something with her again. The fact was I couldn’t imagine now why I had ever been with her in the first place, or why I had stayed with her so long. She was so superficial and vain and bitchy. If I was the waitress I would have dumped the salad on her head. I left the poor woman a fifty dollar tip. I hoped that made her night a little better.
What I needed was to clear my head and decide what I really want. All I can think about is Alexa. Part of me is still pissed about how judgmental she was and part of me wants to call her and talk to her about it so she can see that I’m not that guy any longer. I wouldn’t even mind arguing with her a little bit. I like her spunk even though it pisses me off when it’s directed at me. It’s a lot better than that fake shit Kristie gives me. I loved just hanging out with her. We didn’t have to go anywhere or do anything. I loved when it was just her and me. The sex is…unbelievable, but it’s not even about that. I’ve never experienced before, missing someone the way I miss Alexa.
I wonder sometimes if maybe the feeling is intensified because I’m missing my little sister so badly at the same time. Maybe I have my emotions all tangled up and being with Alexa seems so right because she’s such a strong connection to Emma. I’m not sure, but I do know that I need to figure it out because it was making me crazy. Did I actually want to be with someone who was holding things I did years ago against me? If I decided that I did, would she want to be with me? We’d only known each other a little over a month and we’d already had two fights. Those odds weren’t great either. The fact that we got together just after my sister and her best friend died caused a lot more stress than an ordinary new relationship would have, so I had to factor that in too. I fell asleep that night with all of this on my mind and woke up the next day with a whopper of a headache. I suppose it could have come from Wreckin’ Ralph’s well-placed right cross to my temple…but I think it was more likely the other stuff.
I forced myself out of bed and shook several Tylenol out into my hand. I washed it down with a protein drink and then after a quick shower, I headed to the gym. Maybe some exercise would clear my head. If it didn’t, maybe it would make me look like Wreckin’ Ralph when I grow up.
I did my day one workout. Usually the day after a fight I rest and start my day one the next day but if I stayed home this morning there was going to be no rest. I started with the bench press and I did fifteen reps times two. I had a guy named Leonard spotting for me and he was chatty. Sometimes that annoyed the hell out of me, but today it was a nice distraction.
“I got me a new truck,” he was saying.
“Five…Oh yeah,” I grunted out, “Six…What did you get?”
“I got a Ford F-450.”
“Seven…Damn…Eight…Nice. Big truck…Nine.”
“Yep and I put a six-inch lift on her,” he said.
“Very nice…Ten…What…Color…Eleven…”
“She’s a royal blue with a lot of chrome. She’s a beauty.”
“Sweet…Twelve…I always wanted…Thirteen…a truck.”
“You should get one. I’ve been going to your fights man, you’re awesome. You have to be making some good money, right?”
“It’s okay…Fourteen…I’m saving up…Fifteen….”
“For what?” He asked as I put the bar down.
“You just never know what’s going to happen, you know. I don’t want to find myself unable to fight someday and broke, you know?”
“True, smart kid.”
Dumb kid who let himself be kicked out of school his sophomore year. If I’m ever not able to fight, the best I’ll be able to do in the job department is flipping burgers.
“Yeah, I guess,” was all I said out loud. “Thanks for the help.”
I finished my workout and stopped by to check on my mom and dad on the way home. Mom said that Dad went to work so I hoped that meant he was feeling better. Mom looked a little better. She wasn’t dropping and spilling things. She was knitting and watching an old movie on television…I guess that was a start. I made a run to the grocery store to make sure they had the basics and then I headed home.
I was doing great until I was back home alone. Every time that happened lately I felt like the walls were closing in on me. It was weird, because I used to prefer being alone. Alexa was the first person I ever met that I actually wanted to see every day. In the past, even when I was in a relationship for a long time, I was good with a couple days a week.
I spent the rest of that day obsessing and the next day was pretty much an exact duplicate. Finally on the third day after my disaster of a date with Kristie I called Alexa, pushing the button quickly before I could change my mind. She picked up on the second ring, “Hello?”
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking about calling you all week.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I went to your fight the other night. You were awesome.”
My mind went to Kristie and I automatically began to sweat. It was stupid. I didn’t do anything wrong. “Oh yeah? Why didn’t you say hi?”
“I didn’t think it was the time or place to talk to you. I wanted to apologize about that last night we were together. I don’t have any right to judge you. Everyone makes mistakes. I think my emotions are just on such high alert lately because of Emma.”
“Yeah, mine too. I miss her like crazy. But thanks for the apology. I appreciate it.”
“I mean it,” she said. “I’ve felt so bad since that night.”
“You should have called me,” I told her.
“Yeah, I should have. I’m stubborn like that.”
“Can I see you?”
“I’d like that,” she said. “When?”
“Tomorrow afternoon? Maybe I can order a pizza and we can talk, watch a movie, play a game…whatever. I just want to see you.”
“I want to see you too,” she said. “I’ll be there.”
I hung up and mentally kicked myself for not calling sooner. Oh well, I finally have something real to look forward to. I couldn’t wait to see her.
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