CHAPTER 19

Reagan

 

Sawyer clenched his eyes shut. His back planted firmly against the wall. I had the feeling if he could move through it he would. I probably shouldn’t have kissed him without talking to him first, but something about his lean muscles drew me to him. The way his arms and shoulders tightened as he tried to keep the towel snug around his waist. I couldn’t stop myself. He tasted ten times better this morning.

His hard cock was perfectly outlined in the small towel. My hands itched to drop it to the floor and take him in my palm. Something I’d never experienced and had to understand. “You won’t ruin our friendship.”

He scoffed and looked at me. “Says the man who left in a rage last night.”

Regret filled me. I moved backward and dropped down onto the bed. “We’ve shared everything with each other from the time we were ten. And then you keep something like this from me. I shouldn’t have gotten pissed, but it hurt to think you didn’t trust me. I’m sorry I acted like a dick.”

He opened his eyes and looked at me. “So it has nothing to do with me being gay?”

“Not a goddamn thing. Do you think I would have kissed you if it did?”

He ran a hand through his wet hair. A bead of water slid down the side of his face and onto his chest. “Fine, you have a point.”

“Good. Now come over here.” I moved over, making room for him next to me on the bed.

He put his hands up. “I don’t think so. Let me get dressed and we’ll go have breakfast.”

“No. I want you to come over here.”

He shook his head. “Not happening.”

I spread my legs a little wider, adjusting my still hard cock. I couldn’t help notice the way his eyes zeroed in on my hand. The irony wasn’t lost on me that it was the straight guy trying to seduce the gay guy. Okay, maybe not so straight. But until Sawyer got his ass over here, I’d never get an answer to that question. “Why not?”

“’Cause it’s just not gonna happen.” Sawyer pushed away from the wall, walking toward his dresser.

“I want to understand.”

“Understand what?” He made a big show of pulling clothes from the drawers.

“You sure as shit know what I mean. I want to know why my dick is as hard as steel right now.”

He turned to face me and sighed. “I can’t be your experiment. I won’t be.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Who says you’ll just be an experiment?”

“You’ve never been with a man and I’m supposed to assume you suddenly want to be with me?” He turned his back toward me, tugging on a pair of basketball shorts.

I could have argued with him, but I knew when Sawyer got like this, words wouldn’t be enough. I had to show him I meant it. I stood and walked up behind him, placing my hands on his shoulders. “Last night you kissed me and I’ve thought of nothing else since. There has to be a reason and I want to understand.” Tightening my grip, I spun him around to face me. “You also said you left because you couldn’t have what you wanted. Here I am, waiting for you.”

He laughed, but I could hear the tension lacing the sound. “Think pretty highly of yourself?”

I took a step closer until our bodies were aligned with one another. “Not really. Just stating facts. I know you want me.”

My eyes never left his, and for the briefest of moments, I thought he’d push me away. My fingers itched to grab him and pull him to me. The green of his eyes seemed to grow darker. His breathing sped up. A vein pulsed at the base of his neck. The silence closed in on us.

“Fuck it,” he whispered, slipping his fingers into my hair and dragging my mouth to his.

This time I didn’t wait, parting my lips and letting his tongue slide inside to tangle with mine. My heart hammered in my chest. I gripped his biceps, no fear of hurting him. The kiss was unlike any other, each of our mouths fighting for dominance over the other. Sawyer plundered my mouth, making everything else disappear. I hadn’t realized he walked us back to the bed, until the back of my knees came in contact with it. I dropped down on top, Sawyer landing on me. The weight was welcome.

He lifted his mouth from mine. “Want me to stop?”

I hesitated for the briefest of seconds. Sawyer was a man, I shouldn’t want him, but for reasons that were unclear to me, I desperately did. I pushed my doubts aside.

 “No.” I was shocked to hear the rough timbre to my voice.

Sawyer punched his hips forward, his hard cock rubbing against my own. A tortured groan escaped my lips.

“No?” he asked again, a light to his eyes I hadn’t seen in weeks. The smug bastard knew what he was doing.

“Now who’s cocky?” He did it again and my hips thrust up to meet his. “Fuck, no.”

Sawyer ran his hand down my T-shirt to the hem, fingering the fabric. “Can I touch you?”

His fingers were so close to my aching shaft, I wanted to grab his hand and cover my dick with it. “Yes,” I hissed out.

Sawyer, the damn tease, ran his fingers along the edge of the shirt, skimming the skin right over the waistband of my jeans. Tired of his games, I reached behind me, drawing the shirt over my head. I tossed it to the floor and skimmed my hands down the smooth skin of his back. “Touch me, you damn tease.”

He smirked and lowered his head to my nipple. I sucked in a breath when his lips closed around it. An inferno built inside me from each simple touch. I never imagined something so simple being so erotic. “I want to touch you everywhere.”

“Fuck, if it feels that good, you can touch me anywhere.”

He lowered his hand to the button of my jeans and in the blink of an eye, he had them unfastened and was reaching past my boxer briefs to free my cock. The head bounced off my stomach, pre-cum leaking from the tip. He took hold of my cock, rubbing his thumb over the head.

“God, you’re sexier than I ever imagined.”

When he bent his head and ran his tongue over my crown I thought I saw stars. Nothing had ever felt as good as what Sawyer did to me. He had me tied in knots. He stroked once, then twice. On the third time, I couldn’t hold in the moan of desire anymore. Every nerve ending was electrically charged, waiting for the explosion.

“I need to come,” I begged.

“Your wish is my command.”

He bent his head over my crown and sucked my entire dick into his mouth. I felt myself hit the back of his throat. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. For a moment, I forgot to breathe. Nothing compared to a hot, wet mouth wrapped around your dick, but this was much more. Sawyer knew the exact pressure to drive me out of my mind. A groan left his lips, the vibrations doing even more damage to my tenuous control. The sheet bunched between my fingers of one hand, while I slipped the other into his hair, gripping tightly to the soft strands. At that point, I was along for whatever ride Sawyer wanted to take me on.

He worked my aching shaft like a master, taking deep, greedy pulls and playing with my balls at the same time. When he let my dick fall from his mouth, I almost groaned in response. He lowered his head and sucked one of my balls into his mouth. My hips thrust up, trying to get more friction on my dick.

“Impatient, aren’t we?”

Impatient? The guy was driving me out of my fucking mind. “Make me come,” I ordered.

“Bossy, I like it.”

He lowered his head again, taking my aching shaft back into his mouth and using his hand to jerk me off in this magical flick of his wrist that had my knuckles turning white as I clenched my fist in his hair. My balls pulled tight to my body, the suction increasing until I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Shit, I’m gonna come.”

I expected Sawyer to pull his mouth and jerk me through my release. What I didn’t expect was for him to lower his mouth to the root of my shaft and suck even harder. The climax sizzled up my balls before I had the chance to stop it. Jet after jet of hot come shot into his mouth. Lifting his eyes to mine, I watched as he swallowed down each and every drop of it.

My breath came harder like I’d just run a fucking marathon as he pulled his mouth off me. I dropped a hand over my eyes, trying to get myself under control. I lay there panting. Not a chance in hell would I be able to move anytime in the future. As my breathing settled, I noticed the room was awfully quiet. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I was alone.

Moving my hand, I saw Sawyer sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to me. Not willing to let him put distance between us, especially not after what just happened, I moved to my knees and laid my hands on his shoulders. Was it the right thing to do? I had no freaking clue, but it was the best I could come up with. The moment my fingers touched his skin he flinched.

Something still had him freaked the hell out. A voice in the back of my head yelled that I should be freaked out, but I wasn’t. Even if I was, I’d deal with it later.

When he continued to keep his back to me, I let go and moved to sit next to him. His eyes were focused on something across the room. Wrapping my hand around his bicep, I tugged on his arm, forcing him to face me. He tried to keep his gaze over my shoulder, but I wasn’t letting that happen. “Dammit, Sawyer. Look at me.”

His eyes slowly moved to mine. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why the hell not?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I’d just had the best orgasm of my life and he was the one regretting the decision?

“Because it was a bad idea. I knew it, yet I did it anyway.”

He ran a hand through his hair and tried to turn away again. I cupped his cheek with my hand and brought his face back to mine, pressing our lips together. For a moment, he sat frozen, his lips unmoving against mine. The second his mouth parted, I slipped my tongue inside, only for him to jerk backward out of my reach. I would have thought his ass was on fire with how quickly he jumped from the bed.

“Stop,” he said, backing away from me. “This is wrong.”

“Why is it wrong?”

“This is gonna fuck everything up for us again. I’m not sure I can handle it a second time.”

I stood up and moved slowly toward him again. I reached out to take his hand and lead him back to the bed, but at the last second pulled back. Instead, I gestured toward the bed. “Would you please come sit down and talk to me?”

He shook his head. “That might be an even worse idea.”

I scoffed. “You talk about ruining our friendship, but you can’t even sit and talk to me. I’d say that alone isn’t a good sign.”

He rolled his eyes. It was good to see Sawyer coming back to himself. “I can talk to you, just not in my bedroom.”

“Bullshit. We’ve talked plenty of times hanging out in one of our bedrooms, sitting on the bed.”

“That was different.”

“Why was it different?”

“Because…”