CHAPTER 27

Reagan

 

I couldn’t have heard him right. My mind was fucking mush. Every glide of his dick against mine sent me closer and closer to a place where the only thing that mattered was coming. Forcing myself to focus, I lifted up onto my elbows, knocking him to the side of me.

“Did you just say you want me to fuck you?”

My balls pulled tight to my body at the thought. I’d wanted to fuck him for weeks, but being new to the whole sex with men game I wasn’t exactly sure how that worked. Okay, I knew how it worked. What I didn’t know was who got fucked and who did the fucking.

“I did.” He reached down and grabbed me, sliding his hand up and down my shaft, making it harder to think. “I want to feel you deep inside me.”

“I…” Words were escaping me as my brain melted from the heat right then and there. My eyes rolled into the back of my head.

Sawyer started to move away. I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back. He shook me off and sat on the edge of the bed. Flashbacks of that first morning together hit me.

“Where are you going?”

He shook his head. “I pushed you too fast. I’m sorry.”

This time, I held tight as I gripped his shoulder and tugged him down to the bed. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He kept his eyes averted. “You’re not ready. Who am I kidding? You may never be ready for that.”

I straddled his lap and took his chin in my fingers, forcing him to face me. I gave my hips a quick punch forward and almost groaned at the sensation that shot up my spine. Fuck, if I didn’t come soon, I might lose my mind. “Does that feel like I’m not ready?”

“No, but why else would you lie there staring at me?”

It was there in his eyes. Nothing had changed in the years we’d been apart. I could still read every emotion that crossed his face. The wide-eyed stare facing me said it all. He was still afraid I’d leave him for a girl. That I didn’t want to fuck him because he was a guy. What he didn’t realize was that I wanted him more than my next breath.

I bent down and kissed his lips, drawing a path with my tongue up to his ear. “Stop thinking I’m comparing you to screwing a girl. I don’t want them. I want you.”

“I never—”

I covered his lips with my fingers. “You don’t have to say it. It’s written all over your face.” I ran my hands down his chest, grazing my thumbs over his nipples, and watched as his skin rippled at my touch. “I’ve wanted to fuck you for weeks.”

His eyes flashed. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m new at this whole thing. I wasn’t sure…”

He started to laugh. “You weren’t sure who would fuck who.”

I gave him a quick pinch to the ass, making him squirm below me. His stomach glistened with the evidence of both our desires. “Don’t laugh at me, asshole.”

He reached up and cupped my cheeks with his hands. “Right now, I want you to fuck me, but make no mistake that I’m going to want to fuck you too.”

I squashed the fear that rose up in me with the thought of the pain I’d feel. Right now, the only thing that mattered was getting my dick inside Sawyer. “That I can do.”

Standing, I moved around the end of the bed to the table next to it. Exactly like Sawyer said, there were condoms and lube. A brief spurt of jealousy hit as I wondered who he might have purchased it for. Then I realized it didn’t matter because now Sawyer was mine and I had no plans on letting him go. I grabbed them from the drawer and turned to find Sawyer lying in the middle of the bed stroking himself. His eyes were fixed on me.

I crawled across the edge of the bed and batted his hand out of the way. “That’s mine.”

“Yes,” he groaned, thrusting up into my hand.

I captured his lips, sucking his tongue into my mouth. The heat from a moment ago went molten. My skin tingled. I reached down, cupping his balls, loving the feel as he seemed to grow harder in my hand. I kept my hand moving backward, running my finger along his taint and up his crack, until I finally found the small pucker. He was hot there. As if all his heat and passion were centered in that one spot.

“Show me what to do,” I begged, our lips only millimeters from each other.

I’ve had my fair share of sex, but never had to stick my dick in anyone’s ass. The only thing I could imagine was the pain. Then again, I knew he wouldn’t be begging me to take him if the only thing he would feel was pain. Little noises left his lips the longer I ran my finger down his crack. My own dick begged me to take him, to bury itself in that warm, tight hole. I held back and removed my finger. His eyes snapped to mine.

“Don’t stop.” A raspy edge had taken control of his voice.

I thrust my cock against his thigh once again, showing him with my body I didn’t want to stop.

“Trust me, babe. I don’t want to. You have to tell me what to do so I won’t hurt you.”

The words seemed to register. He stopped fucking my hand. “You’ve never had anal sex.”

It wasn’t so much a question as a statement. “No. So tell me.”

“Fuck,” he moaned. “I do love being your first for things.” He picked up the bottle of lube and handed it over. “Coat your fingers and use them to stretch me open.”

What am I getting into?

When I kept looking at the bottle in my hand, he covered it with his own and popped the cap. He poured some of the cool liquid, first in his own hand and then in mine. Shutting the lid, he tossed it on the other side of the bed and reached down between his legs. And everything left my head in a rush. Never in a million years would I have believed that a man fingering his own ass would be hot. Shit, had I been wrong.

“Holy hell,” I breathed. I clamped my hand around the base of my dick to keep myself from coming before I got inside his tight hole.

His teeth sank into his bottom lip. I wanted to be the man who caused that look on his face. I rubbed the lube around my fingers to heat it up and pressed my hand down, batting away his. My fingers caressed his crease, feeling the slick path to his entrance.

I circled his hole until he begged me to penetrate him. “Do it,” he cried out.

Careful not to hurt him, I slid my first finger up to my knuckle. “Fuck, you’re so tight. I’m never going to fit in there without splitting you in two.”

“You will,” he panted. “Now move your finger slowly, in and out.”

I did as he told me, pushing deeper each time I went in. He began to bear down on that single digit and all I could think was this was the hottest thing that had ever happened to me.

“Give me another one and scissor them when you pull out.”

The next time I slid two fingers inside. The snug fit was more than I could imagine on my dick. I separated my fingers as I pulled out and quickly shoved them back in. His lower body shifted.

“Crook you finger.”

I didn’t understand what he wanted until his ass bucked off the bed. He fisted one hand in the sheets and gripped the base of his cock like he was holding on for dear life.

“Are you okay?”

“Mmm…that was my prostate. Pleasure central.”

Loving the blissed out expression on his face, I thrust my fingers in and out a few more times, then did it again.

“Oh fuck. If you don’t stop that, I’m going to come before you get inside.”

He held the condom out to me. Besides Sawyer telling me no, nothing would have stopped me from rolling that condom on and burying myself deep within his body. I tore the package with my teeth and pushed the latex down my shaft.

“Do you need to turn over?” I asked when he still lay on his back facing me.

“No, I want to see your face while you’re fucking me.”

My dick twitched. Showed you how much I knew about gay sex. Was there a book I could read to catch up? I had to admit, it was even more exciting knowing that I could take him face-to-face. Sawyer wrapped his hands under his knees and pulled his legs to his chest, giving me the perfect view of his ass. I lined my cock up and looked at Sawyer.

“Now,” he mouthed, gripping my ass and forcing me forward.

I pressed into the tightest, hottest hole I’d ever been in in my entire life. If I could have, I would’ve stayed there forever. Slowly, I pushed forward, hoping not to hurt him.

His fingers dug into my ass cheek. I looked down, afraid I’d caused him pain. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he breathed. “Too slow. I told you I wanted you to fuck me.”

“My pleasure.”

Without any other warning I slammed into Sawyer, our identical groans echoing off the walls. I froze. Who knew I could feel this way? If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up coming before I got to really have him.

“Move, damn it.”

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on either side of his head. “Give me a minute. Otherwise, I’m coming before I’m ready.”

“You better not,” he warned.

When I felt like I had my body back under my control and the shock of the moment wore off, I pulled back and shoved my hips forward. Sex had never been like this. Sweat beaded on my back as I kept thrusting into Sawyer’s body, taking my pleasure and giving him his own.

“Harder,” he begged, taking hold of his dick and stroking feverishly.

“As you wish.”

I sat back on my knees and holding his thighs against my shoulders, I pounded into his body harder than I’d ever had before. He jerked his cock even harder, leaking everywhere. I lifted his hips slightly and thrust. And holy shit, Sawyer erupted. White jets of fluid landed all over his chest and stomach. That wasn’t the only thing I noticed. As his ass clenched around me, all my attention was centered on my own dick. A tingling sensation ran down my spine. My climax hit out of nowhere. I had orgasms before.

Not like this.

My entire body shuddered. Pins and needles ran down my arms and legs. Black spots danced in my vision. Unable to hold my weight, I collapsed onto Sawyer’s chest, his arms banding around me, holding me tight as we both panted for breath.

“I’ve never come like that in my life.”

Sawyer chuckled. “That’s the point, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think I can move,” I said, my body still tingling.

“Then stay here. I don’t mind.”

The tone of his voice had me lifting my head to look him in the eye. It was different than the moment before. More serious. The experience of being with Sawyer had eclipsed every other sexual experience in my life. Hearts pounded against each other, syncing together. My connection with Sawyer grew in that moment. With my sex-addled brain, I almost let three words slip that I didn’t think either of us was ready to hear or say. I bit my tongue and kept them to myself.

As our breathing settled and my dick softened, I pulled out of Sawyer, missing the heat of him immediately. I tossed the condom in the trash next to the bed. When I turned back, Sawyer had moved to one side of the bed, his arms behind his head. I lay down next to him and gave in to the impulse to cuddle up next to him. His one arm came down, holding me tight to him.

“Is this okay?”

“It’s better than okay.”

As I lay there curled up against Sawyer’s side, reality began to settle in. Tonight had changed things with Sawyer. Whether or not he realized it, the time had come for me to admit maybe for the first time to myself that I was bisexual. Not really an epiphany. I’d been with Sawyer for weeks, but lying there with my head resting on his chest, I knew the time had come to admit that to more than me.

Sawyer’s fingers drew light, lazy circles over my back.

“I’m bisexual.”

His fingers stopped moving and I felt the slight vibration in his chest. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I figured that one out.”

“I know, but that’s the first time I admitted it out loud.”

Sawyer hooked his knuckle under my chin, lifting my face to his. His eyes held mine. “Are you okay with it?”

I reached up and cupped his cheek. In no way did I want Sawyer to think my own inner turmoil was a reflection of him. “I really think I am.”

“Okay, so what’s wrong then?”

“I’m not sure I can keep hiding from the world, living in secret.”

Sawyer’s entire body went rigid. “You know I can’t. I mean, I wish I could, and what about your—”

I covered his lips with a finger. “Relax. I don’t mean I’m ready to tell the world. But I think my parents should know the truth, especially since we’re together.”

He let out a breath on a rush, like he’d been holding it from the moment I mentioned living in secret. A shy smile, something very rare from Sawyer, came across his face. “You really want to tell them?”

Leaning up on my elbows, I pressed my lips softly to Sawyer’s. “I do. I think they deserve to know.” He nodded and I took advantage of his encouragement, asking for something he didn’t need to do. “Would you come with me to tell them?”

He cupped my face and brought it to his, our mouths connecting in a kiss full of so many promises. God, I never imagined how much he could mean to me. Those three little words floated through my head again. Not that I was anywhere close to ready to say them. But they were there anyway, waiting for the right time.

“For you I’d do anything.”

I didn’t need to hear the sincerity in his voice to know the truth. Sawyer would do anything for me just like I’d do anything for him.

“We can go this weekend, unless you have a last-minute show.”

He brushed the hair from my forehead. “Actually, we have nothing this weekend.”

“You don’t?” I couldn’t remember the last time the band didn’t have something on a Friday or Saturday night. “How did you manage that?”

Suddenly, Sawyer’s expression dropped. “Well, Tom came to see us today.”

Tom was the band’s publicist. Other than that, I knew nothing else. I’d never met the guy. I held him tighter to me, wanting to absorb whatever bad that happened today and protect him from it. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He covered my hand with his. “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just they want to send us on a PR tour for the next two weeks. Hit all the major broadcasting markets on the East Coast.”

I sat up so fast, I dislodged his hand from my face. “Really? That’s awesome.”

“It is, but I’m torn. I really don’t want to be away from you for two weeks.”

I hadn’t thought about that. If it pushed his career further, it would be worth it. “That will suck. It’s not like that couldn’t happen if they decided to send you on tour and that would be much longer.”

He groaned. “I don’t even want to think about that.”

“Okay, so let’s focus on this one. We can get through two weeks. It will be a good practice run for later. Besides, you can video chat me.”

“Oh, so now you’re into phone sex.”

I winked. “Maybe. I’m into a lot of things you don’t know about.”

He rolled so I was under him. “Well then, I guess it’s time to find out.”

He lowered his head and did his best to figure out what other things I might like and I wasn’t going to complain.