CHAPTER 36

Sawyer

 

I stared at the menu, unable to decide what I wanted for dinner. “I can’t choose.”

Reagan rolled his eyes. “It’s not that hard. What do you feel like eating?”

I grabbed my stomach with both hands. “I’m starving. Right now, I want everything on the menu.”

Things had been a nonstop whirlwind of activity. More interviews. More time in the studio. More interviews for Reagan to handle. He had plenty of offers, but he chose the one I’d been most excited about. The studio wanted to hire him for their legal department. Our popularity as a couple was so high, they wanted us together at shows. I should have been pissed at the cheesy PR move, but I couldn’t be. Not when it meant Reagan would come on tour with us and still get paid.

The last two months had been absolute chaos. Even though Reagan and I were out, it seemed that lately we saw less of each other than before the world knew about us. I couldn’t remember the last time we had the chance to sit down and have dinner together. Most of the time we had takeout, unless I got home early to cook before crawling into bed together. It didn’t matter whose place we stayed at. Especially after the fucker who lived with him moved out.

We came home after the Joni Taylor show to find him packing all his stuff up. The ironic part was he didn’t give a shit if we were gay, he was more worried about the paparazzi that surrounded the building and how they were interfering with his foreign film blog. Whatever. The guy was completely insane and neither one of us was sorry to see him go. Reagan had been paying the entire lease and I knew he was worried about finding a roommate. I had another idea and I thought a dinner out with just the two of us would be perfect.

Not that it was ever just the two of us anymore. Like Mari and Cole, each of us found ourselves being regularly followed by the paparazzi. We both ignored them since no one had pushed too far yet. If they did, Reagan talked about filing injunctions, whatever that meant. I’d leave the legal shit to him.

“Now you’re being dramatic. Choose a burger. And I’d choose it quick ’cause we’re about to have company.”

His eyes moved to the left and I followed his line of sight. A group of three teenagers were walking slowly toward us. One had a marker in her hand. That was another thing I’d had to get used to. No longer could I hide behind a hat and mostly get away with it. Ever since being on the Joni Taylor show, everyone recognized my face and they had no problems asking for autographs when they saw me. I didn’t mind it in the least. It proved how far Jaded Ivory had come, but more than that, it showed me that these people supported me no matter what my sexual orientation.

“Fine. When the waiter comes, I’ll have the bacon double cheeseburger.”

Reagan lowered his menu. “See, was that so hard?”

“Very funny.”

I turned just as the girls reached us.

“Oh my God, it really is you,” one of them practically shouted. “You’re Sawyer Alason.”

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Reagan’s shoulders shaking. He found it amusing when they had to tell me who I was.

“That’s me. How are you ladies today?”

Two of them turned a bright shade of pink, while the other stepped forward, marker extended.

“Would you mind signing my shirt?” She gestured behind her at the other two. “They’re hoping you’ll sign something for them too, but they’re too shy to ask.”

“Amanda!” One of the girls in the back smacked the other one.

I held out my hand and smiled. “I’d be happy to. Do you have a favorite song?” I asked when she turned around, and I scribbled my name across her back.

“I love Midnight Dream.”

I nodded when she turned back to face me. “One of my favorites too.” The other two handed over their cell phone cases to sign. I handed them back when I was done, loving the smiles on their faces. Reagan took a picture of the four of us with Amanda’s phone.

“Thanks,” Amanda said, shoving it back into her pocket. “I’m so glad we got to meet you. I have the ticket sale set in my calendar. There’s no way I’m missing your show.”

“I love hearing that. Thanks for coming over and enjoy your dinner.”

I waved as the girls walked back to their table, practically bouncing up and down on the way there.

“You’re good at being a rock star,” Reagan said, drawing my attention back to him. He lifted the bottle of beer to his lips.

“Oh, really. Do you think I’m good at being a roommate?”

He set the bottle down and narrowed his eyes. “Are you having a problem with Heath?”

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. I know you’re worried about the rent payment on your condo and it seems stupid for us to keep two places…”

He reached across the table and covered my hand with his. Something that three months ago would have made me yank my hand back in fear. Now I could enjoy the feel of his touch.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“What would you say if I was?” As much as I knew Reagan and I were forever, I also had a healthy dose of fear of rejection, which happened to be sitting at the surface for the moment.

He leaned back in the booth and rested his arm along the back. “I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to ask me to find out.”

I sighed. “You aren’t going to make this easy on me, are you?”

He scoffed. “When have you ever made anything easy on me?”

“Fair enough.” I turned my hand over, allowing us to hold hands. “Would you move in with me?”

“What about Heath?” The two of them had become closer the more time we spent at my place. I knew he wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt that friendship.

“Well, we’ve been looking at new places. Bigger places. I figured you and I can move into one room and Heath into the other.”

“And Heath’s okay with this?”

I shrugged. “I figured we could talk to him tonight, if you said yes.”

“I don’t know, Sawyer.”

My heart dropped.

“I would love to live with you and come home to you every night, but I don’t want to mess up the plans you were making with Heath.”

“So, you’re saying you want me to live with another man?” I used the joke as a deflection.

“Don’t do that. You’re only making jokes ’cause you think I’m saying no.”

I shouldn’t be surprised how well he could read me, but sometimes I was. “You’re not saying no?”

“What I’m saying is, if Heath’s okay with it, then I’d love living with you.”

“He’ll be fine with it. He asked me not long after Harrison moved out if I was moving in with you. At the time, I don’t think either of us was ready, but we are now.”

The corner of his mouth lifted. “Look how far you’ve come. Hiding who you are to talk about moving in together.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I’d only do it for you.”

“It better be only me.”

“It’s only ever been you since I was sixteen.”

Heat lit his eyes and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning over the table and stealing a quick kiss.

Paparazzi be damned.