CHAPTER 21

Reagan

 

My hands shook as I walked into the recording studio after court. I knew I’d done all I could to get my client the best judgment possible. That wasn’t the problem. This would be the first time I spent time with the rest of the band since Sawyer and I had become more than friends. A decision I’d never regret. My life had already been completely entwined with his. I was actually surprised I hadn’t felt the connection before. I guess it had to do with always seeing Sawyer as being straight. Either way, I still had to spend a few hours with the band and somehow pretend I hadn’t crawled out of Sawyer’s bed earlier that morning. I’d probably have to shove my hands in my pockets to keep them to myself.

Since we’d gotten together, we spent most of our time at Sawyer’s since Heath already knew. It was easier than trying to deal with Harrison at my place. It was frustrating having to hide, but I knew there was no way around it. Not if we both wanted to keep our jobs. The partners at my firm were definitely not going to be supportive.

When we went to the movies or the bar, we made sure to keep a safe distance from one another. Didn’t mean I liked it at all. By the time we got home, all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off.

When we were alone we had a hard time keeping our hands to ourselves. Each time, I felt a little braver, a little more daring to try something new. I hadn’t worked up the courage to fuck him yet or for him to fuck me. I figured it was only a matter of time before that happened. Not once in my life had I imagined finding a man’s body attractive. All the smooth lines and hard planes called to me. Begged me to touch his golden skin.

In the back of my head I wondered how I would keep my hands off him today. Last night he asked if I’d come watch him record the songs he finished. Being the inspiration for one of those songs, there was no way I could miss them recording it.

After I parked in the garage, I sent a text to Sawyer. Getting backstage of the arena had been easier than getting past the gates of this fortress. He’d already warned me I’d have to go through at least two security checks and that was with him escorting me back to the room.

I stepped out and leaned against the hood of my car to wait. The elevator sat directly across from the space I’d parked in. What I really wanted was to see him emerge from this elevator on his way toward me. The way his jeans would hug the lean muscles of his thighs with each step, and the sexy smirk would pull up the right corner of his lips. And if I was being honest, I wanted a chance to get my lips on his before we went inside for a few hours and had to follow a hands off policy.

The ding of the elevator caught my attention and I looked up right in time to see the door slide apart to reveal Sawyer lounging against the back rail as if he didn’t have a care in the world. He looked around until his gaze connected with mine. There was that smirk. He’d always had a warm smile, but this one was different. It was full of lust and desire. From the first moment he turned it on me, I couldn’t stop the blood from rushing south.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he said the moment he reached my side.

“I could say the same thing about you.”

He nodded toward my car. “Let’s sit and talk for a second before we go inside.”

With the garage full of cameras, I couldn’t blame him for wanting to make us kissing less obvious to anyone who might be watching. I sat back in the driver’s seat and watched him move around the front to the passenger seat. I didn’t give him more than a second after the door closed. I fisted my hands into the front of his shirt, yanking him forward and capturing his lips with mine.

I pushed my tongue past his lips and swallowed down his groan. The taste of cinnamon invaded my senses, making me dizzy. Or that might have been the fact there was no blood left in my head. Sawyer slipped his hand up my chest and around the back of my neck to tighten his fingers in my hair, holding my mouth to his. Eventually, breathing became a necessity and I moved back. His chest heaved with each panting breath and I suddenly had the desire to strip him naked in the backseat and have my way with him.

Luckily, the rational part of my brain still had enough control to rein me in. Fucking around in the backseat of my car in the garage of his music studio was sure to get us both caught. On top of all that, I still hadn’t talked to him about telling the rest of the band about us. Mari and Heath knew, and if I was ready to tell my parents, he needed to be ready to tell his friends.

I couldn’t stop my eyes from following his hand as he reached down and adjusted himself in his pants. “The things you do to me,” he whispered.

“I could say the same thing about you.” My eyes were still fixated on the hard-on in his jeans. “Now let’s go inside before I forget where we are and maul you in the middle of the parking garage.”

“Give me a minute to calm down.”

I chuckled. “You and I both know there’s no way either of us are calming down while sitting in this car. Now get out and let the fresh air clear your head before the rest of the band comes looking for you.”

That seemed to sober him up pretty quickly. It made me a little sad that he still wanted to keep us hidden from everyone. One of these days, we were going to sit down and talk about that.

By the time we made it to the floor where the band was recording they were restless. Sawyer hadn’t been kidding about the security. I was surprised they hadn’t asked for my first born child to get inside. The upside was now that I’d passed security, as long as my name stayed on their list I wouldn’t have to deal with as much the next time.

“Where have you been?” Monty whined when we stepped through the doorway. “If we don’t get this song done soon, my stomach might eat itself to keep from starving to death.”

“Please. You just shoved a pack of Twinkies down your throat. You should be good for at least an hour,” Heath said, getting to his feet. “Reagan, good to see you again.”

He glanced over and Sawyer gave a brief, yet subtle shake of his head. The second the smile hit his face, I knew he’d forced it. Whatever might be bothering him, I’d have to wait until dinner to find out.

I dragged my attention away from Sawyer. “Glad I could get a chance to see you guys record. I’ve always been curious about the process.”

Mari practically jumped in my hands, wrapping her arms around my neck for a hug. “I’m super excited you’re here.”

After almost squeezing all the air from my lungs, she stood back and gave me a wink. Mari had known about us from day one.

Sawyer and I had only crawled out of bed long enough to order a pizza. We were enjoying each other’s naked company when a knock sounded on the door. Thinking it was the pizza, I tugged on my basketball shorts and went to open the door. What I didn’t expect was to find Mari on the other side.

“Reagan, what are you doing here?”

“I was hanging out—”

“He’s hanging out with me.”

Mari glanced over my shoulder and after taking in both of our states of undress, it was pretty obvious what we’d been doing.

Mari screamed and bolted for Sawyer. She jumped into his arms, planting kisses all over his face. I had to admit I was a little jealous.

“I’m so happy for you.”

He set her down and suddenly she was in my arms. “I’m so glad you gave him a chance.”

The green-eyed monster faded away. Mari was happy we were together. She glanced over her shoulder. “Why did you decide to tell him?”

“Well, that’s a little more complicated.”

In the end she forced us to give her the story. Afterward, she told Sawyer I told you so and made me promise not to hurt him.  

Jackson smirked. “Sawyer says you work in contract and business law. Who knows, maybe someday you be here all the time dealing with our shit.”

“Yeah, and hopefully it’s not bailing me out of jail.” Monty practically doubled over at his own joke.

Not everyone had the same reaction, at least not immediately. From what I gathered, Monty was a bit of a daredevil. More than willing to jump in any situation, consequences be damned. I couldn’t blame them for taking something like that seriously. One by one, they realized he’d been joking and laughed along with him.

I lifted my hands up. “Not my area of expertise, but I’m sure a few of my friends might be able to help you out.”

Heath walked over and clasped him on the shoulder. “How about we keep our shit together and never have to find out who can and can’t help? Besides, I thought you wanted to play so you could eat.”

Suddenly, Monty forgot his joke but kept holding his stomach, whining about hunger pains.

“For fuck’s sake, Monty. Pull yourself together.” Sawyer took hold of his shoulders and marched him back over to where his guitar sat on its stand. “You wanna play? We’ll play.”

Sawyer reached behind him to pull the drumsticks from his back pocket. Maybe I shouldn’t have stared, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from the way the muscles of his arms flexed with the movement. Slowly, everyone moved into position and I found myself sitting on the small couch in the room, getting my own private concert. I watched the way Sawyer’s whole body moved with grace as he switched from skin to skin while he played.

Every once in a while, I’d catch his eyes on me. Unlike the other times I watched him play, he was close enough for me to see the raw heat and desire in his eyes. What I really wanted was to stand behind and run my hands over his sweat-slicked skin. Before, I never would have imagined those thoughts. Now I knew exactly how smooth each inch of him was. The way his skin tasted on my tongue.

I shifted in my seat, hoping to hide my growing erection. Pushing away thoughts of Sawyer’s body, I tried to focus on the song they were playing. The words jolted me out of my fantasies.

We’re on a collision course

Reaching for each other

Time and circumstances keep us apart

A love I know is there

A love we may never share

They were like an electric shock to the system. My eyes snapped to Sawyer’s and I knew by the light flush on his neck and the way he avoided my gaze, that song was about me. When the music ended, I dipped my head slightly, letting him know I heard his words. Words that were no longer true and held no meaning between the two of us.

For the hour, I sat and listened to song after song before it was their turn in the recording booth. Sawyer convinced their musical director to let me sit in the booth while they recorded two songs. By the time they finished, Monty was having a full-blown meltdown about food and I was more than eager to get Sawyer alone and ask about that song.

They finished packing up their equipment, when I heard a voice next to my ear. “He needs to tell them.” I looked around to see Mari standing next to me, her hands linked behind her back.

I checked to see where everyone else was. When I realized we were alone in the booth, I said, “It’s not my news to tell. You need to convince him.”

She sighed. “Heath and I’ve been trying.” She laid her hand on my arm. “But I’ll be honest, with the way you two were looking at each other, you won’t be able to keep the secret for long. Monty and Jackson didn’t know what they should be looking for, but eventually they’re going to figure it out and things aren’t going to go well when they do.”

I closed my eyes. “I know. I’ll talk to him tonight.”

She leaned up on her toes and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You’ll have better luck than we did.”

“I hope so.”

She went to leave the room and stopped. “Don’t hurt him, okay?”

There was a slight tremble to her voice, that I knew it happened to be fear for her friend. “I promise I won’t.”

She nodded and left the room. Sawyer stepped in a few minutes later.

“What did Mari want?”

For the briefest of moments, I wanted to lean forward and press my lips to his. With more willpower than I knew I possessed, I kept my feet firmly rooted to the ground

“Let’s talk about it over dinner.”

He narrowed his eyes at me and I waited to hear what argument he’d make to get me to tell him now. This time he didn’t push.

“Give me five and we’ll head out.”

I left it up to Sawyer to explain why we weren’t going out with everyone else. The restaurant wasn’t far from the studio.