Chapter Thirty-Nine
Adam
Next Day
I woke up smiling widely. I hadn’t even dreamed about anything nice, or anything at all actually it was the memory of my real life keeping me happy. Lindsey, the declarations of love, the offer for her to move into my house… We were moving forward quickly, and I loved every damn second of it. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever particularly been afraid of commitment of I just hadn’t liked the idea of it or even considered it, but now I was all in. Lindsey was my all.
“Good morning,” she said sleepily from beside me. “How are you feeling this morning?”
I pushed myself into a sitting position and I smiled down at her. “I’m feeling really positive actually, like we’ve been through a lot of changes all in one go, you know?”
She nodded but gave me a bit of a curious look as if she wasn’t sure where I was going with this. “Yes, it’s all good, but it looks like you have something else to do.”
“Yes.” I swung my legs around and padded them on the ground. As I stood up I stretched myself out large, raising my arms high. “And it’s all because of you actually.”
“Because of me? “ She furrowed her brows. “Why what are you thinking?”
“You don’t need to look so scared,” I laughed. “It’s fine. It’s good, actually.” I grabbed my cell phone and shook it at her. “I’m going to call my dad now to set up that meeting you were talking about. The one to finally make everything okay again…or as near as it can be.”
She sat up straighter and stared right at me. With her messy bed hair and her slightly flushed cheeks, she looked more beautiful than ever before. My heart flushed with love again – there was no doubt that this was the woman for me. She was perfect.
“You are?” she gushed as she clutched her chests. “Are you really? Today?”
“I am. No point in waiting any longer, is there? I need to start making things right now.”
Mom would have been so proud of me if she could see me now, taking action to make things better. Of course I wasn’t happy with myself that it had taken such a soul destroying tragedy for it to happen, but I didn’t want to dwell on that. I was trying not to let myself get dragged down by anything negative at all, it was a hole that would claim me if I let it. I just wanted to imagine her smiling down on me, encouraging me to do what was right for us.
“That’s amazing…” Lindsey bit down on her bottom lip, looking incredibly guilty. “But I’m filming today. I won’t be able to be there to support you.”
“I know, that’s okay,” I reassured her. “I don’t need you to be there. This is something that I think I need to be by myself while I tackle this.” I kissed her gently. “But thank you.”
She looked a bit blown away, but in a good way. I was impressed by myself, but it was nice for her to feel the same way. I was taking a bit step today, and to be honest, it could go either way, but it needed to be done. “Well, that’s good.”
I stepped away from her and moved into the hallway so I could make the call in private. I wanted to do all of this by myself. Including this part. I also didn’t want Lindsey to see how nervous I was. As the phone rang and I waited for Dad to answer, I paced up and down.
“Hello? Adam, is that you?” Dad still sounded sad and broken which killed me. I should have done this sooner. “Is everything okay?”
“Erm, yeah. Look, are you and Brandon busy today? I was hoping we could all meet up at the house?” All of a sudden I felt like the timing was all wrong. “Unless you’re busy?”
“No, no, we can meet up. Is something worrying you?”
“I think we just all need to talk…clear the air a bit. If that’s okay?”
We were both dancing around the subject like we were too scared to tackle this directly.
“Yeah, that’s fine. Let’s do it. I’m not going into the office today anyway and I don’t think Brandon is, either. Can you make it over here in the next hour?”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll see you in a bit, Dad.”
As we hung up the phone, I felt a smart burst of positivity as things were finally about to move forward. One way or another, things were finally about to change.
***
It felt strange to be sitting across the table from Dad and Brandon, especially when it felt so formal, but this was what we all needed to happen, and I felt certain that once the ice was broken, it wouldn’t be so hard. I just didn’t know how to break it.
“I have something to say,” Brandon said thickly, shattering the tension for me. I gave him a wide eyed stare as I waited for him to continue. “Adam, I’m sorry.”
Woah. I was not expecting that. “You’re sorry?”
“I am.” He nodded and continued. “I haven’t always been the best brother to you, and that’s only gotten worse recently.” His eyes fixed on the ground but I spotted his face going red all the way to his ears. “But that’s because I’ve bee going through some stuff.”
Uh oh, was Lindsey about to be proven right? Did she manage to see something in Brandon that I’d missed out on? I couldn’t believe it! I was the worst!
“It’s…Helen.” Oh God, of course. It would be that horrible woman that he’d stupidly decided to marry. “As it turns out she’s been cheating on me for a very long time, with a guy that I considered to be a friend.” Holy fuck. I didn’t know what to say. Brandon looked like he might be about to cry. “It’s been going on for ages, which just confirms that I made a mistake marrying her.”
The tears started falling, and me and dad both sat their awkwardly. Guys didn’t hug in emotional times, and especially not when it came to family drama. I needed to just stay where I was and let him get over it…
Oh fuck it!
I jumped up and threw an arm awkwardly around him. It wasn’t the best comfort in the world, I knew that, but it was better than nothing. “I’m sorry, Brandon. That really sucks. No one deserves that. She should never have done that to you.” I could believe it though, she was just the type. She clearly never cared about Brandon at all.
“Yeah, son,” Dad joined in, sounding as uncomfortable as I felt. “You can do so much better than her. You don’t deserve that. She was never good enough. I know I might have liked her at the start, but it quickly became obvious that you were leagues above her.”
Brandon didn’t say anything. He just nodded and wiped a tear away, but now I could see a different, more vulnerable side to him. He tried to put me down because he felt so bad himself, he was jealous of me because I wasn’t saddled with his horrible wife, he probably didn’t like what I had with Lindsey because it was much more genuine…even if it started out fake. It didn’t make any of it right, but I felt like I understood him so much better. We’d all done things wrong anyway. In this, we were all to blame.
“I’m sorry, too, Brandon. I’ve been an asshole as well, but that’s why I wanted us all to get together today. I think…”
I breathed loudly as I prepared myself for what I needed to say next. I could understand now why Lindsey didn’t talk about her family much, it dragged up the pain all over again. “For Mom’s sake, we need to try and work this out. All she wanted was for all of this to be over and done with and although it might be too late, we should give it a try.”
Dad and Brandon nodded slowly. They wanted this just as much as I did. Now it was just time to take the rest of Lindsey’s advice and to be honest about myself. It wouldn’t be easy, but this road wasn’t going to be.
“There’s something else.” They both stared at me like there couldn’t possibly be more. “I haven’t been doing nothing all the time, like it seems.” Why was this so difficult? This was something that I was proud of. Why did I feel like a child around these two? “Erm, instead of working for a company or whatever, I’ve been volunteering for an orphanage instead.”
“Volunteering?” My dad looked completely stunned. His hands gripped around the edge of the table so tightly his knuckles went white. I wasn’t sure how bad a sign that was. “Really?”
“Yeah, I work with kids, cooking for them, playing with them… I brought some new equipment for the place.” I felt silly saying all of this now. It wasn’t big stuff was it? Just a bit of help here and there. “Nothing major.”
“I can’t believe it.” Brandon shook his head vigorously. “All this time I’ve been saying these horrible things and you’ve been doing something amazing.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that…”
“Don’t be modest, Adam. You have.” Brandon smiled and patted my arm. “That’s incredible. Maybe I’ll have to come down one day and help out, too.”
Woah. I wasn’t expecting that! As I looked at Brandon I had a feeling that maybe we were going to be able to build something after all. I hadn’t ever been his friend before and I wasn’t sure how to do it, but I was willing to give it a try.
“That is great,” Dad jumped in. “Of course, I wish you had just told us, but that’s fabulous. It’s good to know that you’re giving back. Maybe I will have to donate some money to this charity, too. Help out the kids. I’m sure anything will be useful. Do they need a new playground or something? Maybe a library. I suppose the details don’t matter now, but yes, I’ll definitely do something, if that’s okay?”
I nodded in shock, glad that my family had taken my news so well. Lindsey was right. I should have just told them. It was silly of me to shut myself off for so long. I wasn’t even sure why I’d done it.
We all sat there for a few moments looking at each other. The urge to giggle built up inside me at how awkward we all were, but I didn’t want to wreck what we had just built up.
“You know what?” I banged my hands down on the table as I stood up. “Let’s go out. We should go and hit a bar or something, do something fun together.”
“Yes!” Brandon’s face lit up, he clearly needed that as much as I did. We hadn’t ever gone out for drinks before but we could change that. “That sounds awesome. You coming, Dad?”
He looked hesitant for a moment, but finally agreed. He was cold and shut off, clearly that had only got worse since Mom died, but I hoped this could change that. “Fine. Let’s do it why not.”
It was all thanks to Lindsey and her advice. If she wasn’t around, none of this would ever have happened. I would still be a secret and I wouldn’t know about Brandon. Bit by bit, she was repairing the fracture within us.