Chapter Twenty-Four
June – Monday
I brought the massive box of donuts into my office with me as I stepped into work. Roy really had brought far too many, and I knew that after the amount I’d stuffed myself, with I wouldn’t be able to look at another one again. For once, I was in a good enough mood to share it with everyone else.
“Ooh, you look happy,” one of the other woman cat-called me, as I placed down the box of donuts in the canteen. “And you’ve brought food for us all. Someone must have gotten lucky last night! Tell us all about it – you know you want to!”
I smiled and rolled my eyes at her before spinning around to make my quick escape. I could already feel the red heat creeping up my body, and I didn’t want anyone to see it when it finally reached my cheeks. That would give me away, and I didn’t want any of these vultures to suspect anything; they would dig and dig if they suspected that something juicy was going on in my life for the very first time, and I wouldn’t put it past them to find out the truth. Of course, I couldn’t allow that to happen; if anyone ever suspected me of sleeping with Roy, then I would lose everything.
I got to my cubicle quickly and scanned my eyes over the round robin email with everyone discussing the stories they were working on and the troubles they were facing. We often did this when it got close to certain publication dates because if certain members of staff were finished, they could help pick up the slack for other people. It was supposed to promote teamwork, but I felt like it was more of a trick to try and amp up competitiveness…something that Mike was failing at. No one cared enough to be competitive – they were all too comfortable in their roles. But not me. And, definitely not now.
“Right, everyone,” I suddenly heard Mike’s voice booming out. “We need to have an emergency staff meeting.” When no one moved, and we all glanced at one another in shock, his tone turned from serious to irritated. “Now, please.”
This hadn't ever happened before, so none of us knew what to expect. I half thought someone was about to get fired. Either that, or someone knew the truth about me, but surely that wouldn’t be a discussion that was up for public consumption. I hoped as much. I didn’t feel like a public shaming was the right way to go, however inappropriate I’d been.
We all sat around the table in a stunned silence, just waiting for Mike to speak, and when he finally did he said the words that I was least expecting in the world. “Now, it isn’t public knowledge yet, but the media are aware of it. A dead body has been found at Roy Larkin’s property, and he’s being held in custody.”
What the fuck? My heart stopped dead in my chest. Was this for real? It was as if I was having some sort of horrible nightmare, that I couldn’t wake up from.
“What do you mean?” one of the photographers asked, voicing the question that I wanted to ask the most.
“Well, it means that he is the main suspect. I would like you to go to his property and to take some photographs…whatever you can get. And June,” as his eyes found me, I felt bile rise up in my throat. “I need you to get your ass down to the police station right away to find out what the hell is going on. It’ll be a media circus down there, so you really are going to have to do your best to find out what you can.” He moved by my side and placed his hand on my shoulder. “I believe in you. This is the kind of thing that you’ve been asking for, after all.”
How ironic – he was right. I’d been praying for something this exciting to happen in Florence for me to write about, and now that it had, and I really didn’t want it to be the truth. I could barely wrap my head around it. Roy Larkin, who I was only with a short time ago, is being accused of murder… I couldn’t even begin to process it.
“Yeah…yeah, of course,” I gasped, glancing around the room in shock. Everyone was looking a little stunned that something so insane could have happened in our small, quiet town, but none of their emotions matched mine. I was absolutely petrified, and utterly confused. How could that have happened to Roy? There was no way that he could be a murderer… Could he?
“Well, you better go now then,” Mike continued, indicating towards the door. “This story isn’t going to write itself.”
As I drove down to the precinct, I felt like I wasn’t really there, like my mind and body had become separate things. I just didn’t know how to deal with any of it. I couldn’t get my head around the last time I’d seen Roy, all sweet with donuts and kisses this morning, and now… It seemed absolutely unreal. I had the sensation that I would eventually arrive at the police station to discover that it was all a mistake, and then life could return to normal.
But as I pulled up the car, and I saw the amount of people surrounding it with video cameras, microphones, cameras, and recording equipment, I knew that it was real.
I felt like I should probably call Mike to tell him to get another photographer down here too, but I didn’t really want Roy’s humiliation photographed. Sure, that was my heart speaking over my head, my love life making decisions that could ultimately impact upon my career, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Maybe, if I ever got a chance to see him around here, my sensibilities would kick in and I would snap a picture on my phone. It wouldn’t be the same, but that wasn’t my fault. It was the editor’s decision to send me here alone, after all.
I stepped out of the car with my mind racing and did my best to mingle in with the crowd. I wanted to hear what others had to say, what they’d discovered while I hadn't been here – and it didn’t disappoint.
“Is there any evidence?” I overheard one guy hiss to another. “Is there anything solid we can base a story on?”
“At the moment, the police seem to suspect Larkin because of the time of death.”
My heart raced as I tried to imagine any possible time that Roy could have killed someone. I did my best to calculate the time it would have taken him to drive from my place to his, but I couldn’t quite figure it out.
“And, what time was that?”
I moved closer, needing to hear the answer to that question, too.
“In the middle of the night sometime. I heard around midnight…”
I let out an audible sigh of relief at that point, glad to hear that Roy couldn’t possibly have committed the murder. The guys might not have been able to confirm the exact time of death, but it was obviously someone who’d been dead for a while, rather than someone freshly killed. At least that meant that Roy was innocent, that I hadn't allowed myself to be totally conned by a murderer…
Shit, I shuffled back through the crowds, all of a sudden needing some air. Everyone felt claustrophobic as I realized just what a dilemma I was in. If the murder happened in the middle of the night, when Roy was with me, that made me his alibi. I could prove to the police, and everyone else, that he was innocent…but it would put my career on the line to do so. I would have to risk everything else to set him free.
I fell out from behind everyone and grabbed onto my knees as panicked breaths escaped my body. This was too much, it was such a horrible choice to have to make, and I had no idea how the hell I was going to make it.
“Are you okay?” I heard a voice call out from behind me. I knew that there was someone there, but it felt really distant, that I wasn’t quite there. “Would you like some water?”
I tried to answer, to say anything, but I couldn’t seem to manage it. My voice was strangled, and my lungs went tight. All of a sudden, my body felt far too heavy for my legs to hold up and I felt myself slump to the ground as everything went black…
***
“I’m okay, thank you,” I did my best to reassure the woman who caught me as I blacked out for a second. “Really, I think was just dehydration…and I haven’t slept too well. I feel fine, honest.”
But she didn’t look like she believed me. “I’m not convinced,” she examined me critically. “I think that we might need to get you to the hospital.”
“No, no, I can’t,” I forced myself to stand, just to prove my point, even though I felt really shaky on my feet. “I’m here to write a story. I can’t leave; my boss will kill me.”
“I don’t think anything is going to happen anytime soon,” she started, but I wasn’t about to leave. This wasn’t really anything to do with the story – it was all about me and Roy, and the decision that I had no idea what to do with.
As I moved away from my savior, making it to the back of the crowd, I tried to rationalize my fears. I tried to tell myself that it would all be okay, and that my evidence wouldn’t be needed anyway. I tried to convince myself to have faith in the justice system. If Roy was innocent, they would find that out anyway, no matter what I said or did. But of course, I wasn’t convinced. There was no way of telling which way this could go, and that scared the hell out of me.
Maybe I was wrong anyway; maybe Roy wasn’t innocent. There was no way I could know for sure, after all. I was pretty convinced, but without having all of the details, I couldn’t be certain, and I really didn’t want to throw away everything that I’d spent my entire life working towards, just to have him guilty anyway. There wasn’t anything I could do until I had some more information.
I felt incredibly frustrated, knowing he was inside that building, only a few feet away from me, and I couldn’t even talk to him. I might have only known him a short while, but I felt like we had a strong bond and that I would be able to know the truth just by asking him outright and looking into his eyes. I might not have liked the answer, especially if it went against what my instincts believed, but knowing had to be better than this.
The endless anticipation, the waiting, the just not knowing anything at all…it was absolutely driving me crazy.
I could feel my phone ringing in my pocket, and I felt certain that it was Mike calling me, but I ignored it, focusing only on those doors instead. Unless they had some hardcore evidence, something real to hold him on, then they would have to let him go eventually, and I wanted to be there for that. I needed to see him; I was holding on for that moment. Until then, until I saw him, time was suspended for me, and I wasn’t sure that anything could feel real.