Chapter Twenty-Five
Mark
Saturday
“Thank God that’s over!” Holden declared with an eye roll. “I thought that was going to take much longer. It means we can leave to get home sooner if you want…” He suddenly seemed to remember the conversation that we had in his office before we came on this trip. “Unless you are still trying to avoid home? I’m sure we can stay if you want to. It saves the hassle of changing the plane tickets anyway if you aren’t ready to return…”
“No, don’t worry.” I sighed and shook my head. There was no point in putting off the inevitable. “I need to get back to Justine anyway; she’ll be pleased if I’m back a day early. She keeps nagging me.”
“It’s such a change in you,” Holden noted. “You being under the thumb of Justine. A good change, but still…”
“I know.” I couldn’t get into it in too much detail with Holden. Not because I didn’t trust him but because it hurt me to go over it again. Thinking of all my past mistakes was just too much. “I’m trying to let her know that I’m there for her, you know? She lost her mom and now… well, now my mom. I have to be around for her.”
“Mmm, and I suppose the nanny won’t stick around forever.” I shot my eyes up at him, wondering what he was on about. Those words felt painful, like a steel dagger to the heart. “What?” Holden declared in shock. “She won’t, will she? Even if you hadn’t complicated things by sleeping with her, which since you’re hiding away in Tokyo, it seems like you definitely have, then she’ll move on eventually. Nannies don’t stick around forever. Someone will offer to pay her more, or Justine will get sick of her. Maybe she’ll even meet someone and start a family of her own.” Seeing my crestfallen face, Holden clearly felt the need to explain himself. “I’m not trying to be a dick, I just mean it isn’t like family, is it? It isn’t ever a straightforward bond.”
His words made my blood run cold. Of course, Holden was right. There was no chance that Olivia would want to stick around forever and by sleeping with her, I’d sped up that process. I was already aware that she had hunted for other jobs and even if that was a tactical move, it had worked. Others wanted her. If I wanted Olivia to stick around in my life for as long as possible, then I had to do something drastic. I had to make her want to stay.
Sleep with her again, the little devil on my shoulder said to me. That’ll make her want to stay. Remember how good it felt; think about how happy she looked during and afterward. Send her wild; she likes that…
Instantly, I shook that thought from my brain. That didn’t solve anything. The only condition in which Olivia agreed to stay was if I left her alone; that was why I came here. The distance was supposed to dull my feelings for her, not make them grow so much stronger. This was growing increasingly complicated by the moment.
“Do you want to hit a bar?” I asked Holden spontaneously. Maybe some booze would help dull everything. “The Golden Gai isn’t far from here, is it? I haven’t ever been to that strip of bars before…”
“Oh no, I can’t.” Holden shook his head mysteriously. “I have plans. Sorry.”
“You have plans?” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “In Tokyo? At night? What plans?”
It couldn’t be business related, which left me curious. Of course, there were millions of things that could happen in this exciting city, the nighttime was filled with activity, but it wasn’t like Holden at all. I didn’t get it.
“Yeah, so erm…” Yeah, he definitely wasn’t meeting my eye. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Right, sure.” I paused and waited for him to explain anything else, but he wouldn’t. With his red-stained cheeks, he turned his back to me and took off quickly, leaving me with nothing but questions. I had to assume that this was something that he would tell me in his own time. Just because I kept blurting thing out, didn’t mean he had to be the same way. “See you later then!” I called out to him, but I got nothing back.
Feeling a bit like a deflated balloon, I made my way to my own room, my brain spinning the whole time. My thoughts darted from the meeting that we just had, one that thankfully turned out to be very successful, to Justine and her endless video calls where Olivia was nowhere to be seen, not even in the background. From Holden and his mystery, all the way to Olivia. Holden had put the idea of her leaving in my mind, and I really didn’t like it.
It wasn’t just for Justine either; my dislike for her going ran so much deeper, down to my core. I had a funny feeling that it was starting to get to a point where I would have to admit that my feelings were more than just physical. If I still couldn’t forget her even when I was miles away, then what hope did I have?
I sighed loudly as I unlocked my hotel room and I headed straight for the mini bar. I grabbed the strongest drink that I could find, and I made my way out onto the balcony to look out over the city. I had the best view of Shinjuku, and I could see Tokyo Tower out in the distance too. It was an awesome view and if anything could take my mind off of the confusion I felt inside then this was it. The look of Tokyo always made my mind blank.
Maybe I should bring Justine here one day, I thought to myself as the warm night air washed over me. She would love Japan; it’s so different from absolutely everything that she’s used to.
I pictured her walking the streets, marveling at everything the city had to offer and it made me smile to myself. Before Olivia came along, the idea of bringing my daughter along for a work trip would have been nothing more than a hassle. I definitely wouldn’t have wanted to do it. But now, the idea of her soaking up the Japanese culture appealed to me. I thought it would be very good for her, and maybe something that we could do alone as well.
I sipped my drink, half debating going out alone for a drink at one of the bars, but I quickly gave up on that plan. If we were headed home tomorrow, then maybe the best thing for me to do would be to grab a shower and get some rest. I wasn’t great at warding off jet lag, but I could give it a go with an early night. Still, I wanted to get a private jet, but Justine’s derogatory comments about being rich and flashing the cash put me off. The thought of her face as I told her that I had bought a plane, even if it was for the company and not just me, put me off.
I chugged back the rest of the small, overpriced bottle and I made my way back inside. I tossed a few things into my suitcase, getting myself ready as quickly as humanly possible, then I took my aching body into the bathroom. I flicked the shower on and waited for it to come to life and heat up enough for me. As I did, I smiled to myself at the idea of Justine seeing the crazy toilets that had all sorts of bewildering functions on them. Now that was something that she would love, even if I didn’t really know how to use them!
Once the jets of water were hot enough, I peeled off my suit, glad to be out of its restrictive clutch, and I took my aching muscles inside. I cocked my head to one side, cricking my neck, trying to loosen myself up. As the strain on my body subsided, my brain darted off in another direction once more. The only direction that it really wanted to be in… Olivia, the woman that I was supposed to be forgetting. Why couldn’t I get rid of the image of her from my brain? Why wouldn’t her writhing, sexy-as-hell body go away? I had a feeling that I could stay away for months on end and not get over this feeling. Sex with Olivia was something else, and that intensity was damn near impossible to forget. Those soft hands of hers, her plump lips, the gorgeous look in her eye as she orgasmed… damn, that was an image I wouldn’t ever forget. Even thinking about it now caused a stirring.
I glanced down and groaned at the sight of my rock-hard cock. What was she doing to me? Now that I was turned on the images got thicker and faster, I just couldn’t stop them. This time I knew how good she was in bed as well; it wasn’t like last time when it was simply a fantasy. I could put real feelings to it which somehow intensified everything. I lowered my hand, unable to resist the image that was building in my mind.
The Olivia of my imagination kissed me everywhere; she ran her hands down my body and brushed her fingers all over my torso and abs. I could almost hear the gasping of her ragged breaths as she slid down my body, touching me, feeling me, kissing me. My body lit up like a damn Christmas tree as the sensation of her imaginary lips sent tingling sensations all over me, as I pictured her grabbing onto my erection with her delicate little fingers and wrapping those tight little lips around me. I grunted loudly, grabbing onto the side of the shower as I fisted myself harder and faster. The bliss was burning, the power of it screamed through my body, I felt like I was rapidly losing control. I lost everything and became a slave to the sensations that Olivia made me feel.
“Oh, Olivia,” I gasped, not even caring how loudly I yelled her name. “Oh fuck, Olivia.”
My heart thundered against my rib cage; my lungs felt tight and squeezed; there was an intense tension in my body that was desperately waiting for a release. And it was coming, chasing me, any minute now…
As the pleasure exploded from me, soiling my body, I felt like I was flying high as a kite. Thinking about Olivia, being so free with my feelings, was liberating. It made me want to zoom home right now, to scoop her up into my arms, and to just fucking hold her tight. I wanted to grab her, to throw her down onto the bed, and to tell her to forget about right and wrong and to just succumb to how amazing it felt.
Hey, maybe I would. Perhaps I was tired of pretending that I didn’t totally crave every damn inch of her and that I actually maybe a little wanted even more from her. I wasn’t sure what, but something for sure.
I staggered from the shower with only thoughts of her in mind, and I collapsed onto the bed in a heap. This whole thing was driving me insane; much as I wanted to do this for Justine, I wasn’t sure that I would be able to carry on like I was. Something was going to give eventually, and I didn’t want it to all fall the wrong way.
Urgh, I was back home tomorrow, back in New York City; I could worry about it then. For now, I simply needed a whole lot more sleep. Luckily, that one drink pushed me over the edge and I pretty much passed out.