I’ve only been home for a few short hours but it feels like I never left. My room is exactly the way I left it. I look around at the posters and trophies and smile at the memories. I had a happy childhood and enjoyed every moment of my time here on the vineyard.

I followed my brother and Jack around like an annoying sister should. Ben acted like it bothered him, but he always relented and allowed me to tag along. We did everything together and, whatever he did, I did it too. I had plenty of scrapes, bruises, and a few broken bones to prove it.

Scanning my eyes around the room, I look at a photo on my side table. A picture of Ben, Jack and I out on the tractor covered in mud. Our arms draped around each other, not caring that we were a mess.

Reaching for another one, I trace the outline of my favorite picture. It was from when Ben and I were younger and we’re sitting on the large oak barrels. We are sampling sips of our Petite Syrah. My dad’s face looks at us with both love and pride as we sample our family’s legacy.

The next two are more difficult to look at. One is of Ben, Beth and I. Beth was so vibrant and alive in that photo. They had just gotten engaged and they were beaming. A few months later, she would be gone.

I can feel my eyes water up. The tears are for her memory but they are also for my brother. Ben’s grief and guilt eat away at him and won’t go away. Tapping the glass frame, I say a silent prayer that I can help him move on with his life now that I’m home.

My eyes drift over to the last picture. It’s of Sam and me on our hiking trip. I laugh to myself thinking of the fun we had. Besides Ben, she is the one other person I feel like I can count on. She’s my soul sister and we would do anything for each other. It’s been hard telling her about Jack. I wish I could say more, but it’s become an open wound again. The bleeding is happening all over again. I’m afraid if I say it out loud, the scab that tries to form will never cover it up.

Looking at all my pictures closely, my eyes shift back and forth between Ben, Jack and Sam. They start to dart so much that my head begins to ache. But there is something about the pictures that has me thinking…well, more like wondering. At first I think it has to do with Jack, but the more I look it becomes clear I’m fixating on Ben and Sam.

Hmmmmm…interesting.

That could be a possibility.

A project!

My body hums with excitement at the prospect of bringing together the two people I cherish most in this world. Plus, it will be an excellent distraction from Jack. Ben and Sam would be fantastic together. Laughing out loud, my mind begins to devise a plan. It will all be set in motion the day Sam arrives. Feeling satisfied, I let my body lie down and close my eyes. Having something else to occupy my brain space is a good thing.

I let my fingers touch my mouth while I inhale and exhale. I’m hoping not to be filled up with all things Jack and his perfect fucking lips. My anxiety is steadily building as my head imagines finishing our kisses. Mom said Jack would be here, and it will be the first time I’ve seen him since that all too brief connection.

Slowly and deliberately, I outline the edges of my lips. It’s as if each small trace resurfaces the impression he’s left. My eyes shut tight and remember the jolts that burned my mouth. It’s a painful pleasure only he made me feel. As my fingers map the course again, my body responds with tingles that shoot straight down to my core. I wish I could make it stop, but with him they never do.

My mind is telling me no but my body is screaming yes. As much as I don’t want to let Jack turn me on and get me off, it just happens. Always. All it takes is letting my guard down the slightest bit and I ache in response. My body floods with sensations and desire for him.

Opening my eyes, I move swiftly to close and lock my door. My mind ponders for a moment, wondering if this is the best idea. He will be here, in the flesh, later today. I quickly shake those logical thoughts out of my head, convincing myself that if I just play for a little bit, I could work off my nerves and get a better handle on seeing him.

Taking in a long deep breath, I allow my fingers to leave my lips and glide down to my neck. My other hand proceeds to my low cut neckline. My adept fingers move and tickle along my breast line. My breathing changes as each tickle sends sparks to my core. I carefully remove my shirt and shorts, only leaving my pink polka dot panties and matching bra.

With both hands working together I run them across my breasts and stomach, making a slow rhythmic pattern as I visualize Jack in my mind. His full lips, strong jawline, blue eyes that sparkle when he smiles, his messy blond hair that I just want to grab while he goes down on me.

Allowing the fantasy to take over, my fingers slip into my panties while my other hand slides inside my bra and finds my nipple. Taking it in my fingers, I gently twist and tug in a circular motion. My fingers make fast work over my clit as my hips begin to roll in unison with my hands.

As I picture Jack slipping two fingers inside me, mine do the same. It carries me further toward my release. My silent moans increase to a louder cry that needs to be shouted. My hips thrust and I clench my legs together to clamp down on my clit. Just a few more thrusts and rubs and I will be over the edge. I visualize Jack urging me to come and that’s all I need. One…two…three, and then finally the vibrations that begin in my lower belly make their way to my core as my body convulses in sheer pleasure from my intense orgasm.

My breath evens out as my body slowly comes back down from its high. My euphoric state is overwhelmed with relaxation and calmness as I keep Jack’s mouth and face in my mind. I allow myself to close my eyes and imagine his hands and lips on my naked skin. This only turns me on more. I always want more. Fuck. That didn’t help at all. It just wound me up even tighter. I grab hold of my blanket and roll over frustrated. Sighing heavily, I attempt to shake his lingering tease and drift into the darkness of sleep, but I know he will be there. He always is.

* * *

A soft knock wakens me from my deep slumber. I roll around onto my backside trying to get my bearings. The knock occurs again only this time louder. Looking at my clock on the nightstand, I’m startled by how long I’ve slept for.

“Jenny? Jenny…its mom. Are you all right?” Picking my body up off the bed, I reach for my shirt and pull it over my head while trying to answer her with my groggy voice. “Yep. Sorry, Mom. I guess I fell asleep. Just a second.” Reaching down for my shorts, I drag them up and over my ass. I’m in the process of snapping them when I open the door.

“Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

“I was just a little worried about you. Everyone is downstairs and we’ve been waiting for you.” My eyes open wide in panic. “Oh don’t worry dear, take a moment and get yourself freshened up. It’s no problem. We will be out back.” She reaches out and places a loose strand of hair behind my ear. My head leans into the familiar comfort this act brings me.

“Thanks, Mom. I will be down in a few.” Taking her hand away from my face, she turns and exits my room. Closing the door behind her, I lean my back into it and slide down to the floor. Resting my head on my knees I try to figure out what the hell I’m going to wear and, more importantly, what I’m going to say. I can’t remember a time when I haven’t argued with him. It’s like our thing. It can be a complete turn-on one minute and exhausting the next.

I look over to my half unpacked suitcase, hopeful that an amazingly drop dead sexy outfit will appear. I really want Jack to see me differently. Not who I used to be but who I am now. I’m a grown up and attractive woman that deserves to be treated like a goddess and worshipped as a sexy temptress. “Jesus, Jenny. Get with the program. You sound like a female heroine out of one of your books.”

Crawling on the floor to my suitcase, I begin to unload its contents all over the rug. Everything I touch looks like a wrinkled ball of crap. When I make it to the bottom, I finally see what I think will catch Jack’s attention. I can’t help the wry smile that forms across my face. “Oh yeah, Jenny, this is the one.”

With renewed self-assurance, I grab my makeup bag and head into the bathroom. Just a few hours ago, I was moaning to the image of him and now he will be in front of me. My body will respond like it always does, but will my mouth shut the fuck up? More importantly, what will he have to say to me?

We never discussed what happened the last time we saw each other. In fact, we haven’t talked about us at all. Blinking my eyes at my reflection, I ponder this truth.

Shit.

The reality is, this could be exceptionally good or extremely bad. Sadly, I suspect the latter.