The drive to the winery is always a beautiful one. This has been my home. I was lucky to grow up surrounded by hills, vines, grapes, and wine. Not to mention some of the nicest, most passionate and hard-working people I’ve ever known.

I guess that’s why I’ve stayed in the business of wine. I get the best of both worlds. I work in the city doing the corporate side of distributing wine, but I also get to visit with the people who make it. I have freedom to get out, interact and not be stuck inside an office.

My car approaches my old house. My sister lived there until she got married. We talked about keeping the house, but I just wanted to sell it. The memories were too painful and I just wanted to move on with my life.

As if my car has a mind of its own, I pull over to the side of the road. Looking at it shows me a different appearance. It’s still painted the same color but the sunlight has faded it. The mailbox is new and not the old dented one that would never stay shut.

Seeing both reminds me of my parents. It’s amazing how outer appearances are much different than inner ones. There was so much emptiness on the inside, yet hidden by a bright sunshine yellow color outside. We were broken and in many ways I still am. My life has become a similar form of empty and I hate it.

It’s always hard coming back because it forces me to deal with my reality. I don’t want to do it but I know it’s needed. My life can’t just keep existing. I want more. I deserve more.

Closing my eyes tightly, I force myself to think of a happy memory. The first thing that always pops into my head is the smell of my mom baking chocolate chip cookies. I remember running in the house and watching her take them out of the oven. I stole them right off the pan and she swatted my sneaky hands with the spatula.

Whenever I feel the sadness creep in, I mentally pull that one out. It brings me peace and happiness. She always loved to bake and her cookies were the best. I miss her more than ever lately. I wish she was here to help me sort through all of this mess. She would have guided me and made me a better man.

Opening my eyes, I feel calmer and put the car in gear. I continue to Moon Dance. I drive on autopilot to my home away from home. The long driveway is a comfort to me. Seeing the barn in the distance set up for dinner makes me smile. I’m holding out some slight hope, that Jenny will have a smile on her face when she sees me tonight.

Pulling into the rounded driveway I put the car in park. The last time we saw each other, she was giving me shit about my latest girlfriend, Ally. Believe me, I needed to hear it. Ally was by far the fakest girl I ever dated, but she had an amazing body and loved fucking. Those are the things I cared about. I laugh recalling how Jenny called me on my shit.

“Seriously Jack? I mean seriously? I can spot the fake boobs and tan a mile away.” She approached me with such fierceness that my feet walked backward into the wall. The piss and vinegar in her eyes made my whole body jerk. I had never seen her eyes like that and it intrigued the hell out of me. “Did you hear what I said Jack?”

I shook my head no, because honestly, I kind of got lost in her eyes and that damn ball cap she was wearing. Lame…I know.

She continued with her fiery tone. “I mean really Jack. You could do so much better. She’s as plastic as they come. She doesn’t get any of our jokes and can’t keep up with our clever banter. Why do you subject yourself and us to these transparent women?” I could only stare at her. She was determined and on a clear mission. I was fascinated with her.

It was impossible for me to come up with something witty to say, a rarity for me.

She approached me, getting even closer, filling me with the softest scent of jasmine. Her eyes softened, and her lips opened the slightest bit. I couldn't help but look at them. It was like seeing them for the first time. But I knew about them; knew how good they made me feel.

My mind drifted back to years earlier when I experienced them on mine. How right and how wrong they were.

My eyes refocused on them and I took note that they were soft, pink, and full. Then her tongue peeked out and licked them. I immediately felt my cock harden. I knew I was in serious trouble there. This was not supposed to happen.

Shit.

This was Jenny. I forced my eyes to look up at the ceiling while thinking about last night’s football game.

Gently, her warm soft hands touched my face and pulled my gaze back down to hers. She had my mind and body in awe at that exact moment. Right then and there, I knew my life would never be the same.

Her voice softened as she stepped in closer to me. “Jack, please don’t fall in love with someone like that. You deserve better. I know who you really are and that bimbo in there’s not it.” She paused while her gaze left mine for a moment but her hands stayed . When her eyes returned, I could see pain masked in them. “We’ve all had shit occur in our lives but how we make it to the other side defines us. Don’t let what happened to your parents define who you are and how you love.”

She took one more step toward me. I faintly heard her talking still but I couldn't listen to a thing. Fuck. I was having trouble focusing on anything but her mouth right now. I was certain those luscious lips were about to land on mine. They were what I wanted and needed to feel. In that moment, I felt like a kid in a candy store, finally getting another taste of the sweetest sugary treat.

Her breath tickled my lips as she whispered my name. “Jack…Jack I…”

My hands made their way to her waist, closing the last few precious inches before our lips touched . “What is it Jenny? Tell me, or better yet, show me.” Her breath caught as if she was surprised by my words. Her body was now flush in line with mine. I whispered to her while she licked her lips, teasing me again. “Show me. Help me.”

And then, for the briefest moment, our lips connected . And in that split second, I knew what I wanted. What I was missing from my life. She had been right there all along. In that brief intimate connection, my life was beginning to appear.

I was fairly certain Jenny saw it too. And it scared the hell out of both of us.

“Jack! Jack! Where are you? You left me all alone in there with that crazy family!” Ally’s screechy voice interrupted and ruined everything. Both our bodies jerked to attention and I watched her jump next to me. My eyes still gravitated toward hers, pulling me in. I could see hurt on her face. I saw it once before, a long time ago. I didn’t like it then and I certainly didn't like it now.

“Jack. What the hell?” My trance was interrupted by Ally. I hated the loss I felt. I tried clearing my throat, tried to buy some time while I figured out what to say or do.

Looking between these two women, I had a defining moment. I could continue down my same path or I could forge a new one. Jenny’s fingertips grazed mine and the brief current of shock was all I needed. She was right. I couldn’t let my parents define how I lived and loved.

I want love and to be loved. Jenny was a chance for me. Now what the fuck was I going to do about it?

Things had been crazy and fiery since.

Getting out of my car, I can’t help the sudden wave of nerves that course through me. The reality is we have never talked about what happened between us almost a year ago. Christ, we haven’t even talked about five years ago. In order for me…us…to get anywhere, we need to fix this shit.

Today.

I will not accept anything less until it’s sorted out.

Jenny has done her best to avoid me, but all that is about to change. She will not ignore me and I will finally finish that kiss. This is going to happen. My ego gets the better of me. Jenny will be mine. I sound like a caveman. If in the process of winning her over, she falls in love with me, then even better. Honestly, I just need her to shut the fuck up for more than two seconds. As I step toward the house, I laugh at the thought. “Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen.”

It’s go time.