Chapter 8

 

The clubhouse is silent as I make my way inside. The guys were going out to the local bar to hang out for a while, but I have no need to be there.  Too many things agitate me to be around everyone right now. My mind isn’t settled.

“You really hurt her.” Aria’s voice slams into me. I drop my head, turning to look at her.

“I know I did. I didn’t mean to,” I say in honesty.  She nods her head, knowing me better than most of the guys here.

“Doesn’t change things, Devil. The past never changes things. You have to do it. You have to make it right, at least for yourself,” Aria says coming closer and pulling me into a hug.

“I wish I could. It’s not that easy to let all that go, Aria. I’ve tried.” Aria sighs into my chest before pulling back, looking up at me.

“I know that, Devil. I’m sure that shit eats you alive most days, but you have something good in front of you. You have people that care.” Looking down at Aria, her eyes beam with light. She’s a good girl, Roc did good with her.

“I’ll talk to her,” I promise her. Aria smiles before pushing up and kissing my cheek.

“Now,” She demands. I let out a chuckle. Letting her go, she heads back down the hallway.  I run my hand through my hair. Dropping my head, I don’t know what to say to her. I head down the hallway the same way Aria went, when I see Angel in the main room.

“Can I talk to you?” I ask.  She doesn’t turn to look at me. I can’t say that I blame her either. I was an asshole. Walking closer to her, I can smell her perfume. Shit, I don’t know what to do here.

“I need to talk to you, Angel.” She slowly turns to face me, her eyes red from crying.

“We don’t need to talk. It is what it is. I messed up by overthinking things.” My mouth hangs open while she talks. Maybe I was the one overthinking things. Maybe she doesn’t feel shit for me; like I do for her.

“I’m sorry for what I said, Angel. It was wrong,” I apologize. She shakes her head, forcing a smile.

“It’s why I’m here–Devil.” She starts to walk away when I grab her arm.

“Angel.” Shaking her head once more, she turns to look up at me.

 

“It’s ok, Devil. I get it.”  She says. She doesn’t though. She doesn’t get it.

“I feel things for you–Angel. I don’t like it. I don’t like feelin’ anything! You don’t fuckin’ understand what this is doin’ to me!” 

***

  I couldn’t take it. I had to walk away. Regardless of if I got it all out. I couldn’t handle anymore. It’s been a week. A week of bullshit. A week of torment. I can’t stand it.

“So, what we know is, Throwers didn’t like that their old Prez didn’t want in on the takeover. He was too proud to fight back when Devil and Trick went in there full blast. We don’t know who the hell the new Prez is, or where they are now,”  Dragon says as we sit around the table listening to him fill us in on the latest on the Throwers. None of it is new.

“We sit back and wait for them to show up, or make the first move?” Ghost talks, but I tune him out. That little fuck has been pissing me off for weeks now.

“I don’t know what we do! We don’t have any idea where the fuck they are.” Dragon’s pissed. Much like the rest of us. It’s never good to be left outside the loop.

“We go huntin’ these motherfuckers.” I grumble.  I’m the only one to voice that option. I want some blood, I need it.

“We could do that.” Dragon says as he slides his phone out as it rings. His brows furrow as he looks at the screen.

“Keep quiet. I don’t know this number.”  Dragon growls. The room grows silent.

“Yeah?” I watch his face for anything. Any sign that it could get good.

“Angel?” When he says her name, my heart sinks. Shoving out of the chair, I head straight toward him. I grab the phone out of his hands, bringing it to my ear.

“Angel? Sweetheart? It’s Devil. What’s happenin’?” I knew by the tone in Dragon’s voice that something wasn’t right, aside from the fact, that we haven’t seen her in days.

“Devil. Oh God. Please help me. I’m so sorry.” Her crying is shredding me.

“Where are you, darlin’?” I can hear a commotion in the background. I don’t fucking like it, either.

“I don’t know, Devil. Please! They took me.” Her voice sounds softer now, like she’s hiding from someone.

“Listen to me, Angel. I am gonna come get you. Don’t you dare give up on me.” Her cries kill me. It hurts more than anything I’ve ever felt before. I can hear some noise on the other end before she screams.

“Angel? ANGEL?” Breathing from the other end comes over the line.

“I will kill you motherfucker. Give me one fuckin’ piece of information as to where you are, you’re dead.” The laughter that erupts from the other end pisses me off. The guys are all on their feet right now. 

The line went dead, so did what was left of me. I pass Dragon back the phone as something unknown filters its way through my blood. Hatred isn’t anything new to me. I’ve always had it in me. My parents instilled it in me. With every hit, every broken bone, every drop of blood I shed.

“Didn’t hear anything useful?” Dragon asks. Shaking my head, his tone has calmed. It could be the fact that my hands are balled up so tightly, my fingers are turning white.

“They’ll hurt her, Dragon. I will fuckin’ kill every one of them.” The tone of my voice is deadly. I’m deadly.

“Calm down, Devil. We need to figure out where they have her,” He says. Turning to him slowly, I look him in the eye.

“Calm down? They took somethin’ that belongs to me. Whether I wanted to see it or not–that girl is mine,” I growl with rage. The only way to describe what I’m feeling right now is lethal.  Dragon doesn’t speak, and neither does anyone else. They all look at me, though.

I don’t think that over all the years of being a part of this club that any of them have ever seen the rage that lives inside of me.

I’ve kept it closed off, showing only pieces of it when needed.

“Motherfucker’s gonna lose his shit,”  Ghost mumbles. I heard him. I didn’t turn to look at him, though. Instead, I crack my neck from side to side.

“I’m gonna make some calls.” Dragon leaves the room in silence. No one says a fucking word. It may be wise of them not to. I see Roc out of the corner of my eye texting someone. Not my problem who that is right now. Mitch and Trick start up a soft conversation, leaving me to stand in the corner contemplating who is going to die soon. The door opens behind me but I don’t turn to see who it is. I don’t give a fuck who it is. It’s not her. It’s not, Angel.

“Walk with me.” Aria’s hand lands on my forearm.

“Not a good time, darlin’.” I’m trying hard here. I don’t want to lose my shit on her, too.

“Now–Devil!”  She snaps. I glance down at her. My muscles cording tightly.

“Walk the fuck away–Aria!”  I growl. She visibly jumps before Roc’s on his feet. Aria just brushes him off though.

“You kept me sane once, Devil. I owe you this.” Swallowing hard, I let her take my hand in hers. I follow behind Aria, as she walks us out of the building. I follow behind her all the way to the edge of the lawn.

“I don’t know what to say to you right now.” I admit. I don’t though. Aria doesn’t let my hand go either. It’s almost calming to me.

“You don’t need to talk. Only listen.” Blowing out a breath, I let her talk.

“When I was little, all I wanted was my mom. It hurt to know she was gone. My dad started looking at me differently as I got older.”

“Aria, your life story isn’t helpin’ right now,” I snap. Her little giggle stings me.

“Fine, what I’m trying to say is, without this club–without Roc–without you–I would be nothing. I was meant to be nothing. You guys have taken me in, brought me to a good place in my life. Let them do the same for you. Let her do the same.” Looking down at her, I sigh. She may be right but I can’t handle having, Angel. I can’t afford to be that weak.

“She laid with me that night. She made me cake, a fuckin’ cake–Aria. No one has ever done that for me before. I was in awe of that girl. I ruined her in the same night. As much as I want to let her have all of me, there isn’t anything to have. She took it all. She already has it. Does that make sense?” I ask her. Aria looks up at me with a tear in her eye.

“It makes sense to me. Aria, give us a minute?” Ghost says from behind us. Aria kisses my cheek before walking away from me.

“I know that this last week, I’ve been shit. I’ve had my own shit goin’ on. I took it out on you. Look, brother. Angel has somethin’ inside of her that you want. Go get it. Don’t let that shit go like I did,” He says. Turning to look at Ghost, I know all about what he lost.

“It’s not the same, man.” He was with his girl for a long ass time before she left.

“It is the same. You’ve known Angel a long fuckin’ time. She’s always been here. You see somethin’ more in her?” He asks me. I nod my head but, I don’t like talking about this shit.

“Don’t let it go. You’ll regret every fuckin’ second of it. You think I haven’t killed myself over Mel all this time?” He says. Shit! I never thought about Ghost missing Mel. I know it kicked his ass when he lost her. I saw it. I watched him spiral out of control.

“I need time–Ghost. I need to get her back here, but I can’t do it all just yet.” Ghost nods as if he understands. Hell, maybe he does.

“I get that. Don’t let shit get out of hand, though. We’ll get her back.”