Chapter 10
Taking care of her was the farthest thing from my mind for them to do. I want to take care of her. I want to hold her, and tell her I’ll take care of the assholes that did this to her. I want to be there when she cries. But I can’t. I can’t be any of that, because that’s not who I am. That’s not what I was raised to do. I got Angel to agree to wait a few days until the doctor said it was ok to take her. She reluctantly gave in to me. I can hear her moving around in the bed behind me, but I don’t have the heart to make a move first. I don’t want her to go. I lay here, stalling like a fucking bitch. Her hand touches my back and I jump. She giggles only slightly before I feel her body pressed against my back.
“I don’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” She says. I close my eyes tightly. I don’t want to hear her goodbye. I reach up, closing my hand over hers before I sigh.
“I never wanted this for you. I never wanted to push you away,” I tell her. Her lips touch my shoulder and my world melts around me.
“I know. If there was ever a person I was going to miss around here, it’s you.” Her whisper slams into me. My insides tighten up. Everything in me wants to hold her here. Hell, chain her to the bed if I have to.
“I’m gonna miss you, too. If I’m bein’ honest, now is the best time to say this.” I take a deep breath, feeling her hand tighten over mine.
“I don’t want you to go. The selfish part of me wants you to stay right here with me.” I hear her sniffle. I can’t turn around to look at her, though. I won’t do it to either of us.
“I don’t know how to stay, Devil. They were after you. I don’t know why they took me.” They were what? Rolling over, I look her in the eyes.
“What did you just say?” Angel swallows back the tears.
“He said he was looking for you. I don’t know how he connected us. Maybe just because I’m always here.” Me? He wanted me?
“Why me?” Angel shrugs.
“I’m sorry, Angel. If I had known, I would have protected you.” My words stall in my throat.
“You didn’t know, though. I don’t want you to feel like you did anything wrong.” My hand comes to cup her bruised cheek.
“I’ll take you home, Angel. Just don’t give up on me yet.”
***
She didn’t answer me. I asked her to not give up on me just yet, but that too, was selfish.
She needs to give up on me. She needs to forget about me. She needs to live. I sit at the end of her parent’s driveway. My heart slams in my chest. We said our goodbyes and her parents thanked me for bringing her home. I don’t know the back story or why she ended up at Hell’s Fire, but she was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I lost that, too. I lost her. I lost the one thing that I’ve ever wanted, and for what? I close my eyes and try to fill the void with anything but her face. It doesn’t work, though. It all comes back to her.
The anger that I felt when we found out what happened to her is now a ball in my chest. It doesn’t go away, and it doesn’t ease up. In fact, it’s worse than it has ever been. I throw the truck into drive and speed out of there. I saw her standing in the doorway. I knew she was watching me. Still, I couldn’t look back at her. I would turn the fuck around and drag her ass back to the one place that almost killed her. I couldn’t be the reason behind her death. I don’t think even my fucked-up conscience could handle that. Not wanting to go back right away, I drive around town. I’m not going anywhere. As much as I want to, I’m not. I need to find those assholes–and kill every one of them. Stopping at the local bar, I decide to drown her out. Drown out all the pain–all the anger–all the regret. I do fucking regret it, too. I regret letting her near me. I regret fucking her, and ruining her. I knew it would happen.
This world can chew you up and spit you out. It has done it to me.
“What’ll you have?” The pretty little blonde leans on the counter in front of me.
“Vodka. A lot of it.” I say. With her perfect smile, she slides it over to me. I give her a quick nod before heading to the back.
I need to drink it up and let shit go.