Chapter 19

 

My mind spins into overdrive. Who the hell would have been there? Anyone out of place would have been noticed. Hell, that’s how I saw Aria. She was out of place.

“I don’t know who the hell it would have been.” I ramble to myself before my phone rings

“Yeah?” I can’t focus, I didn’t even look to see who it was. I’m too busy trying to focus and recall who might have been there, pull a face from the crowd so to speak.

“I assume the job has been handled.” Mouthing the word, Tomlin to Dragon, he perks up.

“You always assume things, Tomlin. What if it isn’t?” I ask,  his laughter grating on my nerves.

“Then you would be dumber than I originally thought. She has the power to ruin you, Rocland. It isn’t just about me anymore.” The line goes dead, and so does my mind. What the hell does that mean? Dropping the phone to the bed, I look at Dragon.

“What would you say if I told you I was takin’ Aria away for a while?” I ask as he looks at me confused.

“Like a vacation?” His tone is hilarious. It wasn’t like I was thinking of it as a vacation exactly, but I suppose it could be looked at it that way.

“She has knowledge of things that might be useful to us. She isn’t the type to just blurt it out. We don’t have any club shit that’s high up on the list of things to do. Tomlin clearly knows I haven’t killed her yet. Maybe this is what we need to figure shit out.” Dragon seems to consider this for a few minutes. I go back to looking through the papers that litter the bed. I drop the papers back onto the bed.

“Suppose it wouldn’t hurt,” Dragon says with a yawn. I think this is needed. I think we need some time away. I need to know what Aria knows without pushing her too hard. There has to be something that she knows about her father and this C person.  Too many things don’t make sense. The one thing that does make sense though is what Ghost said to me.  I can’t push her away. I thought having her gone would make it easier on all of us. I thought I could figure out what else Tomlin had, and make the rest disappear.  What I didn’t realize, was how much of an ache I’d have in my chest without her being here.

Without holding her. Without seeing her.

Without hearing her voice.

I can’t do it.

***

 

My chest is tight from tension. My mind wanders to places it shouldn’t go.  I called Devil to let him know the plan. We have a meet up spot about an hour from where he has her right now. I don’t know what makes me more nervous. The thought of her knowing something that makes this dangerous, or the thought of seeing her again after everything I said to her. I know I told her it was better this way. I know I pushed her away but deep down, I know I was wrong about all of it. The ride out here is a little unsettling. Being on my bike calms me, if only slightly. I’m a little nervous about all of this. I’m afraid of what I might find out. I’m afraid that she may be in over her head in this mess. But most of all, I’m afraid that now that I’ve pushed her so far, I won’t get her back.

The closer I get, the more my anxiety pulls at everything in me. It’s overwhelming. I spot the convenience store from the highway. My insides twist and turn in ways I’ve never felt before. Pulling off the exit, my chest tightens even more. I spot Devil’s bike parked off to the side with no one on it. I asked him not to tell Aria what was going on until I got here. I didn’t want her to freak out and run. I pull up and park next to his bike, cutting the engine before climbing off. As soon as I take my helmet off, I see him walking toward me. With a grin plastered across his tattooed face, he makes me smile, too.

“How’s shit?” He asks, pulling me into a hug. I slap a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, brother. Shit’s crazy,”  I tell him before pulling back. Devil nods before looking around.

“She’s in the bathroom. She hasn’t said much since we left. She’s hurtin’, Roc.” He sounds sincere. I nod my head knowing that I messed up a lot.

“I know, I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have,” I tell him. Devil looks around before taking a step past me.

“I’ll let you surprise her. I’m out.” Before Devil can walk to far I holler at him.

“Hey, Devil. Thanks for takin’ care of her, brother.” I mean it too. The nod of his head is all I need.

“We’re family. It’s what we do.” Devil yells over his shoulder.  I watch as he climbs on his bike before taking off. A part of me wishes he would have stayed, and helped me calm the storm that rages inside of me.

In the end, this is my mistake. I need to fix it. 

I stand outside the women’s bathroom for what seems like forever. When the door finally opens, my heart leaps into my throat.

“Roc? What are you doing here? Where’s Devil?” She asks, sounding a little mad. She looks around but she doesn’t seem too happy to see me here. I can’t blame her after the things I said to her.

“He’s gone. We’re leavin’. We need to figure some things out, and it isn’t the best idea for us to be so close to home,” I tell her, but I can see the confusion all over her face. I can see the hatred in her eyes when she speaks.

“I was fine with Devil.” She stomps past me before I blow out a breath. I knew she wasn’t going to be happy with me. Her arms are crossed over her chest, the look of defiance in her eyes. I follow behind her like a whipped puppy. She grabs a bottle of water and sets it on the counter before glancing at me. I can’t stop the little laugh that escapes me. I pull my wallet out and toss some cash on the counter. Aria grabs her water before storming out the door. I can’t help but smile. It may not be the reaction I wanted, but at least I’m getting something out of her. When I find her already straddling my bike, my heart stops. Her head's tilted back as she takes a drink from her water.  A droplet runs down her chin, sparkling in the light. Aria reaches up, wiping it away as I stare at her in awe. She must feel my eyes on her. She turns her head, the light catching her just right. So, beautiful.

“Where are we going?” She asks as she recaps her water. I walk toward her before I say, “Somewhere away from people.” She watches me with little concern. It’s a big change from the girl that assumed I would kill her not so long ago. I grab my helmet, pulling it on before climbing on the bike in front of her.

“Is this trip optional?” She asks with an attitude from hell.  Passing me her water bottle, I slide it into my inside pocket.

“Nope. You don’t have a choice in the matter.” I take a little too much pride in telling her that. Her huff is a welcomed relief, though. It’s better than her hateful attitude I was getting.

Her hands wrap around my waist when I reach back, knocking my knuckles on her helmet making sure she has it in place. Once I’m satisfied, I rev the bike.

Maybe this will be helpful. Maybe she will open up, and we can finally get the information we need to take Tomlin out.

 

***

I love having Aria wrapped around me. She may not be happy about it, but I am. We’ve driven for hours and I can imagine she’s tired of being on the bike. Lucky for her, we’re close to our destination. I called ahead and rented a cabin out in the woods. No one will look for us out there and I had food brought in. Everything should be stocked up by now. We drive down the dirt road, slowing down since we’re on the bike. I take it slow until the cabin comes into view. Aria’s grip tightens around me; she must see it now, too.

I pull up and cut the engine right in front of the place. It’s perfect. Just like I pictured it to be. Throwing my leg over the side, I climb off and offer my hand to Aria. Surprisingly, she takes it. I help her off before grabbing the bags out of the saddle bag. I toss the bags over my shoulder before heading toward the door. I don’t stop until I realize Aria isn’t following me. I glance over my shoulder watching her as she looks around. A look I can’t place is etched across her face. Fear, maybe?

“You’re safe here,” I tell her. Her eyes move to meet mine, something’s unsettling in them. She doesn’t say anything, just walks toward me slowly. After I unlock the door, I usher her inside.

“This is cute.” The first words that leave her mouth. At least she’s talking.

“I had food and stuff brought in. There should be snacks or I can cook if you’re hungry.”  I say as I drop the bags onto the small loveseat. I turn to face her. Tears fill those beautiful eyes of hers and my heart sinks.  I move toward her slowly with a new intent. I need her to feel safe around me again. I want her to just feel. My hands come to rest on her cheeks and she doesn’t push me away.

“I messed up, Aria. I didn’t want to see what I had, even when it was slappin’ me in the face.”  Aria blinks rapidly trying to control the tears that fill her eyes.

“Is that why we’re here?” She asks me. I swallow hard before I answer that.

“There are things I need to know from you. There are questions that need to be answered.” Aria pulls out of my grasp before taking a step back.

“So, you don’t mean it? You didn’t mess up; you just need information.”  She says. I can hear just how mad she is right now. Taking a step toward her, I pull her body against mine.

“You didn’t let me finish, darlin’.” She won’t look at me. She keeps her eyes down.

“I need you, Aria. I need you in more ways than you know. I’ve never felt so lost or alone when you weren’t there. I can live with you havin’ your own life and bein’ on your own. I could handle that because you were close by and safe. I could see you whenever I wanted−but the thought of actually losin’ you−it killed me.”  

The questioning in her eyes hurts. I can see her assessing everything that comes out of my mouth. I know what I said hurt her.

“This time is somethin’ I need. Do I need information from you about your dad? Yeah, I do, but it’s only to keep you safe. He wasn’t the only one after you.” Her face changes as the words leave my mouth. That last part came out before I could rethink it. I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have let that slip.

“What do you mean someone else is after me?” Her body shakes with fear. My fingers find their way to her hips, holding her tighter.

“We broke into your dad’s office. He has information on me and the club. I needed it to disappear before I can kill him.”  I tell her in honesty. I didn’t miss that flinch. I saw it.

“You have to realize that I will kill him, Aria.” She swallows hard before nodding slightly.

“Anyway, I saw a picture of you on his desk. There was a note with it. Someone else wants you dead, Aria. Someone with the initial C.” I can see her mind go into overdrive as she tries to recount everything in her past. Her eyes dart around as she tries to play this out in her mind.

“Don’t even try to figure it all out right now.” I tell her. Her eyes come back to mine and that’s where they stay. No words are spoken, just silence. Her hands come up to cup my cheeks, her warmth flooding me.

“Why are you doing this for me?” She asks. Her question is so real. Does she not see it? Can she really not feel what I feel for her?

“I think I love you, Aria. I can’t explain what I feel for you. It all happened so fast. It was like a slap to the face. As soon as you were gone, I was, too.” Her thumbs rub small circles on my cheeks.

All that I feel for her is sitting on the tip of my tongue. The only way to tell her is to show her. I lean down and take her lips with mine. I kiss her slowly, letting her feel everything that I feel. I give myself to her in this moment. There is nothing in the world that could compare to this.  I rest my forehead to hers letting our breath mingle.

“I want you, Roc. From the moment, I saw you. You challenged me. I liked that about you. That day you told me I had to leave, it broke me. I hated you for it.” Tears stream down her cheeks.

“I know. I messed up, but this time, here with you; I want to fix that. I want to fix whatever I broke.”