Chapter 15

 

Opening the door, my heart leaps in my chest. Nessa stands there, rocking Jordan in her arms.  She isn’t looking at me, she’s focused on him. The glow that shines off her is gorgeous. I never knew anyone could look so spectacular.

“You’re perfect, Nessa.” I say. Her eyes come to meet mine, a smile crossing her face.

“He’s perfect.” She says, looking back down at him, she smiles brighter. I walk over to her, wrapping my arm around her. I gaze down at Jordan sleeping peacefully in her arms.

“Did you know you could love somethin’ the minute you saw it, Nessa?” I mean it, I love him. I know it’s weird but seeing him, I love him.

“Yeah, I did. Here.” She tries to pass me Jordan but I shake my head.

“He’s happy in your arms.”

“I like having him in my arms.” Her words burn holes through my heart.

“Let’s lay down darlin’, I’m tired.” Nessa moves toward the bed, lying on her side with Jordan snuggled into her. It’s mesmerizing to see her like this.

I pull my boots and my cut off, climbing on the bed behind her. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I find Jordan’s little hand. As soon as he feels my finger, he wraps his around it. I gasp at the feel of him.

“You’re going to be a great father, Ghost.” She says. Pressing a kiss to Nessa’s cheek, I rest mine against hers. I look at Jordan as he lies there, oblivious to the world around him.  He’s so young and vulnerable.

“There’s a war comin’. It’s not gonna be good, Nessa.” I hear her sigh. She already knows all this.

“We’ll deal with it.” She’s always so sure of everything.

“I need to figure out where to keep you and Jordan. I can’t have you in the middle of it.” Nessa snuggles into me deeper. I love holding her like this.

“I’ll do whatever you say. Don’t worry about Jordan. I’ll protect him, Ghost.” How am I this lucky? How the hell did I get someone like her in my life?

“I know you would.” Snuggling into her hair, I sigh.  

***

We fell asleep together. All three of us. Four, if you include the little one growing inside of her. It was a strange feeling waking up with them both asleep in my arms.  I slowly slide out of bed, careful not to wake either one of them. Standing here, I stare at them as everything begins to sink in.  I have a family. Not just the guys, a real family. A woman that loves me, kids. It’s an amazing feeling.

“I promise to protect you.” Whispering the words, I know no one can hear.  Heading out of the room, I close the door quietly.

Angel stands next to me with a smile on her face. “They asleep?”  

“Yeah, we fell asleep. Nessa and Jordan are still out.” Angel nods.

“I know we don’t talk a lot, Ghost, but if there’s anything I can do to help, I will.” She says softly. I throw my arm around Angel’s shoulder as we walk back toward the front.

“I really appreciate that. I know this war is gonna get bad. I just need to know that Nessa stays calm and takes care of herself.” Angel seems to sense what I’m trying to say without the need for the actual words.

“We’ll take care of her, Ghost. You’ll be fine, too.” She says sweetly.  Bumping me with her shoulder, I nod.

“Hey, stealin’ my woman?” Devil grabs Angel, pulling her in for a kiss. I can’t help but smile at them.

“You know the ladies love me.” I say winking at Angel, she giggles.

“I know you want to talk, Ghost. Let’s do it. Walk with me.” Dragon’s hand lands on my shoulder. Glancing over my shoulder, I nod. Following behind him, we walk out the front door. The cool air hits me and it’s welcomed.

“I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you, Ghost. You’ve really taken on a lot. This shit isn’t gonna be easy on anyone, least of all you. I just want you to know that we’re all here for you. We’ll get this shit worked out.”  I take a deep breath, steadying myself for what I’m about to say.

The thought has been sitting in the back of my mind since Nessa told me she was pregnant.

“I think I should step down as VP.” 

Dragon laughs. He doesn’t look over or say a word. He just laughs.

“I mean it, Dragon. I’ve been fallin’ behind. Haven’t been holdin’ up my end of shit. I feel like I’m lettin’ this club down, brother. Roc would be better standin’ next to you.” I say in all seriousness.  Dragon’s laughter continues.

“Fuck off, Ghost. You think I’d let you step down like that? You’ve been here longer than anyone else. You were a little shit punk when I met your ass. You know me better than anyone here. You’ve always had my ass when it’s been needed. In fact, I don’t know of a time that you didn’t have this club’s ass. I won’t let you do it.” He says with authority. Running my hand through my hair, I sigh.

“I just don’t feel it, Dragon. I’m so wrapped up in this baby stuff.” Shaking my head, it’s the truth. This shit is taking over my life. It’s taking over my thoughts and dreams. I don’t know how to be a fucking VP like this.

“We all have shit happenin’, Ghost. That’s why we’re a fuckin’ club. We hold onto each other. That’s what we’re doin’ now. When shit's done, if you still want to step down, I’ll call it. Just wait it out for me.” I would be a coward and a fraud if I stepped down right now. I can’t do that to this club.

“You’re right. I’ll wait it out.” Passing me a cigarette, I light it up.

“Good lookin’ kid you got there.” Jerking his head toward the clubhouse, I grin.

“Yeah, that he is. I just don’t want to fuck him up.” Chuckling, Dragon looks over at me.

“I don’t wanna rehash my past but put those kids first. Even above us. They deserve a dad that cares.” His eyes suddenly fall. He looks so lost.

A dark haunted look takes over his features, but I don’t have the heart to ask him about it. I can see the look, if he wanted to talk, he would.

“I will, Dragon. Speaking of shit, you want me on that run tomorrow?” Dragon blows out a breath, looking over at me.

“I’d prefer you be there, but with Jordan, I get it if you don’t want to go.” I shake my head. I can’t change all that I am. This is me.

“I’ve been ready for this one. I can’t change who I am or what I do. I’ll go.” Dragon smiles, taking my cigarette from between my lips.

“Don’t you think you need to stop smokin’?” Laughing at him, he’s crazy.

“Hell no! Havin’ two kids might just kill me before the lung cancer.”