Chapter 2

 

“Hey little man,” I say as I lift Jordan into my arms.  Jordan is Nessa and Ghost’s little boy. Holding him fills me with a sense of peace. I love seeing the kids. I love having the kids around. They are indeed angels.

Jordan chews his fingers when Nessa runs into the lobby screaming, “Damn it he’s fast. I was giving Marissa a bath, and he ran.” Holding her daughter in her arms, I smile at her. She’s beautifully perfect with her kids.

“He ain’t goin’ nowhere. I put alarms on the doors and shit.” Nessa glances at me with a strange look on her face.

“What? I baby proofed the whole club,” I say with a shrug. It’s no big deal, but she laughs. I want these kids safe.

“You are the biggest baby of them all. Such a softie,” she tells me as I lean down, pressing a kiss to Marissa’s clean baby scented head before tickling Jordan.

“Nah. These kids deserve the best. Hey, do you think you can help me out with Thanksgivin’ shit?” Nessa looks at me strange which is nothing new.

“You’re serious?” She asks unsure of my intentions. Nodding, I set the wiggling Jordan on the floor and watch him walk around the room.

“You guys deserve it. We need somethin’ good around here. We’ve had so much shit lately. I want you girls to feel at home here, too.” Amber slides her hands around my waist before I even saw her coming.

“That’s because you’re amazing, Dragon,” Amber snickers. I pull her hands away and slowly slide her off me.

“And why are you in my conversation? Take a fuckin’ walk.” Amber huffs. She is the most disrespectful club whore I’ve ever seen in my life. In fact, now that most of the guys are with someone, I’m thinking about cutting them off also.

I watch her walk away; then she says, “Remember that when you want something!”

“I think it’s sweet, Dragon. Of course, I’ll help.” 

***

  I wander the halls watching everyone outside enjoying their time off.  It does them good to have some free time and just be together with their family.

It makes my heart hurt, though. Being honest with myself, I miss Maggie. I miss what we had, and what we used to be.

The accident. Shit! That was my fault. Not really, but in my mind I blame myself. I shouldn’t have argued with her. I shouldn’t have pushed her to the point that I did. I regret it every day of my life. I press my hands against the glass window, watching the guys. Many years ago that was me. I was happy, smiling. I enjoyed my life.

The day my father was killed stole a piece of my innocence. I followed in his footsteps. I was what he wanted me to be. I did everything I could to make him proud of me. He was, too. I followed club rules. I did what was expected of me. I miss him. I miss the man that made me. The man that I should have been following to this day.

I miss my mom also. We grew apart after dad died. It was mainly my fault, though. She tried to be there for me; she tried to be a mother. I wouldn’t let her. She said that I was the miracle. I was the only thing that saved her. I don’t see it that way. I never did.  I saw me as the one thing that pulled her away from her happiness with my father. She always said they’d die together, but I ruined that.

She left the club that night to come home and check on me. If it weren't for me, she would be happy now.

Now, she’s a mess of a woman. A mess that I was responsible for making. 

“You look off,” Devil states the obvious.

“I’m fine,” I grumble. Devil watches me knowing I’m not ok.

I suppose it’s the holidays that always have me feeling off.

“Sorry, brother. My head’s just off. I’ll be alright,” I tell him not knowing if that’s true or not. Devil gives me a nod when the other guys filter out toward the bikes.

I throw on my helmet ready to get this run over with. I want to start getting this Thanksgiving shit in order. I think the girls will like it.

“Rev ‘em up, boys!” Roc hollers with a cigarette hanging between his lips.

“Someone’s overly happy to go sell some dope,” I say as Roc smiles at me. He pulls his cigarette from his lips and says, “It’s a goddamn good day to be alive, Dragon. Look at it. The Sunshine, no clouds. It’s a great fuckin’ day!” I haven’t seen Roc this happy in a long fucking time.  To be honest, it’s a little scary.

“He must have got his dick sucked this mornin’.” Ghost chuckles, pulling his helmet on.

“Don’t you worry about my dick.” The two share a laugh, but I can’t get enough of this.

“We don’t need to know about any of your dicks. We ready to handle this drop?” I ask, looking around at all the guys, I have to say I’m damn proud of them.

“Hell yeah! This is a big drop. We need to have our heads straight once we get on those bikes. We might know who we’re deliverin’ to, but that means shit, and we all know it,” Ghost announces. Ghost has really kicked up his game after Nessa and the kids. It’s a relief, too.

There for a while, I thought he was losing his touch, but I’m happy to see that it’s back and in full effect.

“Ghost’s right. We know these fucks, but that doesn’t mean shit. We need to be clear-headed and keep our eye on everything.”