Fourteen
It was strange thinking that my brother was going to be a father. It seemed like only yesterday we were kids on the farm. That seemed like a lifetime ago that only existed in my memories now. In a month he’d be married and by Christmas, there would be a new addition to the Hale family. I couldn’t help but think how good life was as I fell asleep that night.
Erica and I had watched the entire game, just as I’d planned. Sawyer and Lindsey had gone out sightseeing, but got back in the fifth inning and finished the game with us. I was a nervous wreck the whole game, my heart pounding until the third out was called and the camera would pan in as he walked off the field. He stared down at the ground humbly as he walked off the field. I knew he was concentrating on what he still had to do. He’d been relieved in the seventh inning with a two-run lead, but in the bottom of the ninth, the Rays hit a three-run homer for a walk-off win. My heart broke for Adam. He’d done his job, but the bullpen had let him down. I’d waited for him to call. I knew the days he pitched weren’t easy ones and so I was patient. We all went out to dinner and finally, as I was getting ready for bed, the phone rang.
“Hey,” I said gently into the phone.
“Hey, babe.” His voice was low and somber. I knew the loss wasn’t sitting well with him.
“You were great today,” I said, trying to cheer him up.
“Yeah. Not good enough, I guess.” He laughed quietly and I knew it was an attempt to seem like he wasn’t as bothered as I knew he was.
“It wasn’t your fault. You really did great today. You should’ve heard what the announcers were saying about you and you know how much they hate the Red Sox,” I said with a laugh. Everyone in New England joked about that. National announcers always rooted for the teams playing against the Red Sox. They pretended not to be biased, but we all knew better.
“Oh yeah? Joe Buck actually liked me?” His laugh was different this time. A real laugh and I hoped I was making him feel better. I thought about telling him about Sawyer and Lindsey, but it didn’t feel right. News like that should be delivered in person and so I kept quiet about it.
“He did. Said you were pitching like a Cy Young contender.”
“Oh, that’s deep!” he said with a boisterous laugh. “The season’s not even halfway over. Let’s see what he says in a month.”
I laughed too and it grew quiet again for a few moments.
“Are you enjoying Erica and Sawyer?” he asked.
“Yeah. It’s nice having the company. It’s too quiet here without you.”
“I’ll be home soon, babe,” he said and the quiet settled in again. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see you, too,” I said, closing my eyes and pretending he was beside me.
“Are you getting ready for bed?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m actually just about to get in.”
“I’ll let you go then. I’m tired too.”
“Call me tomorrow when you can, okay?”
“You know I will,” he said, his words causing a smile to form on my face. “I love you, Care.”
“Love you too,” I said and then the line was quiet. I set my phone on the nightstand and pulled the covers back, crawling under them. The bathroom door opened a second later and Erica walked out.
“Did Lover Boy finally call?” she grinned as she got in beside me.
“Yes,” I said, reaching for my lotion.
“Is he totally depressed over losing tonight?”
“Well, he’s not exactly thrilled,” I said sarcastically.
“He’ll get over it,” she said nonchalantly and I hoped she was right.
Erica reached up and turned off the light before getting comfortable in the bed. I hadn’t yet told her about my brother. It hadn’t felt right during the game knowing Sawyer and Lindsey could come home any moment, but now that we were alone, it was the perfect time.
“I’m thinking about coming up to Silver Falls in mid-July. Will you be free?” I asked casually.
“I’m always free, Caroline,” she said and even though I couldn’t see her, I knew she was rolling her eyes at me. “Why?”
“Well, Sawyer’s getting married.”
“What?” she exclaimed.
“Yeah. July eighteenth.”
“What?” she exclaimed again. “They just got engaged.” She started laughing and she turned to look at me. “He didn’t knock her up, did he?” I didn’t say anything. I hadn’t expected to tell her like that, not in such crass terms, but Erica being Erica had delivered in only the way she could. “You’re shitting me!” she shouted so loudly I thought Sawyer and Lindsey would hear.
“Be quiet!” I said, shushing her as she sat up, staring at me with her mouth hanging wide open.
“Are you serious right now? Lindsey’s pregnant?” she whisper shouted at me.
“Yes. Sawyer says she’s three months along.”
“I…I…I don’t even know what to say,” she stuttered and I laughed.
“That’s got to be a first. You speechless.”
“Shut up!” she said, swatting me on the arm. “I’m in shock. Cut me some slack.”
“I just don’t want you cheapening this. Lindsey’s not knocked up. She’s having a baby with my brother who adores her. He asked her to marry him before they knew she was pregnant. It’s not like he has to marry her. They want to get married.” I could hear the defensiveness in my voice and I knew Erica could hear it too.
“I know,” she said in a normal voice for the first time since I’d told her. “It’s just so weird to think of Sawyer being a father.”
“Tell me about it,” I said with a quiet laugh. “I’m excited though. It kinda makes me want to move back to Silver Falls.”
“Don’t do that. You can still see the baby all the time.”
“I know,” I said and it grew quiet for a few seconds.
“What’s Adam say about all of this?”
“He doesn’t know. I’ll tell him when he gets home. Doesn’t seem right over the phone.”
She looked at me quizzically before speaking again.
“Why didn’t Sawyer tell me himself? We drove three entire hours together in a car and he didn’t tell me.”
“He probably wanted to avoid the reaction I just had to endure.”
“Whatever,” she said and this time I saw her roll her eyes.
“Don’t make a big deal about it with him or with Lindsey. They’re already anxious enough about becoming parents and any comments from you could send them over the edge.”
Erica huffed and turned to me with her arms folded and furrowed eyebrows.
“I am offended, Caroline. Truly offended.”
“You don’t get offended, so stop trying to be.”
“Whatever,” she scoffed.
“You’re not exactly delicate in your words and this is a sensitive subject. They’re happy, but they’re still trying to process all of this. Just give them a hug and say congratulations and leave it at that.”
“Remember when you told me at your graduation party that you probably wouldn’t be friends with me if we weren’t related?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, the feeling is mutual.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes.
“C’mon. Don’t be like this. I’m sorry, okay?”
She was quiet for a few seconds.
“I don’t mean to say the things I say or react the way I react, but it’s me. It’s who I am. It’s who I’ve always been. You should know that by now.”
I felt badly. She genuinely looked hurt.
“I know. And that’s why I love you. I’m sorry,” I said, reaching over and taking her hand with mine.
“It’s fine,” she said, shaking her head.
“Really. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh.”
“And maybe I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“Let’s just put this behind us and focus on what matters, which is the fact that Sawyer and Lindsey are having a baby and that is awesome.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely awesome,” she said, smiling over at me.
~~~
“Caroline.” The soft voice and the gentle nudging of my shoulder was rousing me from the deep sleep I was in. It sounded a thousand miles away, but then I heard it again. “Caroline.”
Finally, my eyes fluttered open and in the moonlight streaming through the window, I was shocked to see Adam kneeling beside. My heart started pounding when I realized he was there and I thought I was still dreaming. He couldn’t be here. He was in Tampa and shouldn’t be home for four more days.
“Adam?” I whispered, the confusion heavy in my voice.
“It’s me,” he said, reaching up and brushing some hair off my forehead.
“Wh…what are you doing here?” I asked softly.
“I thought I’d surprise you and crawl in bed beside you, but there’s someone in our bed,” he said with a smile and I turned to see Erica sprawled out next to me, her hands above her head and her brown curls splayed out around her.
I sat up, pulling the covers off and taking his hand as I led him into the hallway, closing the door behind us.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, unable to let go of his hand.
“Can I at least get a hug first?” he asked, opening his arms.
“Of course,” I said, falling into them. He held me close for a few moments before finally letting go. “Now, seriously. What are you doing here?”
“Sometimes the team sends pitchers back early to get rested before our next start after road trips.”
“Did you know?”
“I had an idea,” he said with a grin, “but I thought surprising you would be fun. You okay with that?”
“More than okay. I’m just glad you’re here, no matter why or how.” I smiled up at him, resting my hand on his cheek for a moment as I looked into his eyes.
“Me too,” he said and then he smiled. “I just wish I’d known Erica had taken my spot in the bed.”
“I’m sorry,” I winced. “What time is it anyway?”
“Just after one,” he answered.
“You must be exhausted.”
“A little,” he admitted. “I took a flight here right after the game and there was traffic on the way back from Logan.”
“I can ask Erica to move,” I offered, but he shook his head.
“No. Don’t do that. Let’s just crash in the den,” he suggested and I nodded as he led me downstairs to the room tucked away off of the living room. He called it a den, but it was more of a man cave, complete with his awards over the years and framed pictures of his accomplishments. Adam seemed humble now, but I knew he’d once lived for the spotlight and this room was evidence of that.
Aside from his accolades, there was an oversized couch and a TV. He grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and then shut the door to the den behind us, my heart starting its usual heavy beating from being alone with him.
“Man, it’s good to see you,” he said once we were locked away in the quiet of the room. His eyes traveled over my body, which was only covered by a pair of boy shorts and a white t-shirt. I blushed as his eyes rested on my breasts for a moment. I knew the thin cotton was leaving little to the imagination.
“I’ve missed you too, Adam,” I said and he crossed the room, sliding his arms around my waist, pulling me close before his lips landed on mine, kissing me so deeply I swear my knees went weak.
When he pulled away, I was left aching for more. I knew he felt the same way, but he walked over to the couch and spread out the large quilt. I couldn’t look away when he pulled his t-shirt off and then his jeans, leaving only his boxers, which did nothing to help the longing he’d created by that kiss.
He pulled back the quilt, motioning me to come over and soon we were cuddled together in the warmth of the blanket, sprawled out side by side on the soft couch.
“Road trips suck,” he said after a few quiet moments, “but they make me love you even more, Caroline.” He kissed me on the top of the head and began tickling his fingertips over my arms.
“I have to admit the reunions are always nice and almost make the separation worth it.”
I turned my head so I could see him and then kissed him softly on the cheek.
“Do you think Sawyer and Erica will mind I crashed their weekend with you?” he asked and I laughed quietly.
“Sawyer will be especially happy to see you. Erica too,” I added as my brother’s news weighed on my mind. “Are you feeling any better after tonight? You really pitched an amazing game.”
“I’m fine. I had the plane ride up here to collect myself,” he said with a quiet laugh.
“The All-Star Break is coming up,” I began, thinking now was the best time to tell Adam about Sawyer.
“Is that your way of asking if I’m going to be voted in?” He laughed again, but I honestly hadn’t even thought about that.
“No, but is there a possibility?”
“There’s always a possibility. We’ll know in a couple of weeks.”
“If you do get voted in, it’s really only for the Homerun Derby that Monday and then the game on Tuesday, right? You’re free the rest of the week?”
“Yes,” he said, stretching the word out as his voice rose a little in curiosity. “Why are you so interested in the logistics of it all?”
“Um,” I began and then paused for a moment to collect myself. “Well, Sawyer was hoping we could come up to Silver Falls that week…” My voice faded and then I turned to look at him again. “For his and Lindsey’s wedding.”
The room got even more quiet once the words left my mouth and I could see his brows furrowing as he tried to comprehend what I’d just said.
“They’re getting married next month?” he asked and I nodded. “Why so soon? I thought they were going to wait a little.”
“They were, but plans change,” I said and he looked puzzled again. “They’re having a baby.”
If I thought the silence was loud when I’d told him they were getting married, it was deafening when he learned of the baby.
“A baby?” Adam finally asked quietly.
“Yeah. Lindsey’s due in December.”
“A baby,” he said again, his eyes drifting off for a few seconds before coming back to mine.
“I couldn’t believe it either when he first told me, but yeah…Sawyer’s going to be a dad.”
“That’s some crazy shit there,” he said with a quiet laugh.
“Totally,” I agreed. “He seems really excited about it though. They both do.”
“Why didn’t he tell me himself?” he asked, and if I wasn’t mistaken, he seemed hurt by the gesture.
“I don’t know. I guess he thought I might want to tell you.”
He just nodded and was quiet for a little bit as his mind worked to comprehend the barrage of news I’d just given him.
“The wedding is July eighteenth. It’s after the game, so even if you do make the team, maybe you can still make it,” I said hopefully and he nodded.
“I’ll be there, no doubt,” he said and the silence crept in again as I settled back in his arms. I wondered what Adam was thinking about. Sawyer telling me he was getting married was signal enough that the life we’d grown up with in Silver Falls would only live in our memories now.
“It’s hard to think of Sawyer being a dad,” I finally said, interrupting the quiet.
“Yeah,” Adam agreed quietly. “He’ll be a good dad though. He’s always had his shit together. I know it’ll be the same when it comes to kids.”
“It’s hard in a way though,” I continued, my voice trailing off for a few seconds before continuing. “It means we’re all grown up now. We’re no longer kids.”
“We’ve been grown up for a while now,” he said with a soft laugh.
“I know. It’s different this time though. There’s really no going back anymore.”
“Do you want to go back? To the way it was?” he asked me, turning me so I could face him.
“Sometimes I miss the simplicity of being a kid. Of running all over the place without a care, but then...then I think about you and what we have now and I wouldn’t go back. The memories of that time are great, but they don’t compare to now.”
I reached up, resting my palm on his stubbly cheek and looking him in the eyes. I felt his fingertips on my cheek then, a sweet smile curled up on his face.
“Sometimes I still can’t believe it took me so long to find you, Caroline. To see what was right there in front of me my whole life.”
“You found me though and that’s all that matters.” I smiled at him and then we both started drifting towards each other simultaneously, our lips meeting gently for a few perfect seconds.
When we’d parted, I’d settled in beside him, my back to his front, his arms around me as we spooned together. I knew he was tired. I was tired too, despite the adrenaline rush of being woken up unexpectedly to find him with me.
I could feel my eyelids growing heavy and I knew sleep was calling for him as his breathing started to slow. Sleep always came so easily when I was with him and I was almost there when I heard his voice again, soft and gentle in my ear.
“I love you, Caroline.”
“I love you, too,” I answered, before we both drifted off to sleep.