Three
It never ceased to amaze me how different Boston was from Silver Falls. I couldn’t help but think back to the conversation with my brother when I told him I’d been offered the interview at Logics and he’d told me Boston wasn’t my scene. With all the cars, people and concrete, I thought he might be right, but then I hit the buzzer at Adam’s townhouse and when I saw his face, I thought I could get used to the big city.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing me by the hand and pulling me inside. He quickly shut the door behind us, locking it and then reached for my bag, dropping it on the floor. Then he took my face in his hands and pressed his mouth to mine without warning. I instantly started to melt in his arms as I felt my body bump up against the wall. He’d essentially trapped me and I loved the feeling. I hadn’t even said a word to him, but sometimes words didn’t need to be spoken.
He pushed his tongue gently into my mouth. He tasted good, like mint. He always tasted good though and I kissed him back just as eagerly while his hands moved over my body. I could feel how much he wanted me. I wanted him too. It felt like it’d been forever since we’d seen each other when in actuality it’d only been a couple of weeks. The deeper I fell in love with Adam, the harder it was to be away from him. When we were apart there was always a piece of me that was missing and I never felt right until I was with him again and at this moment, I felt perfect.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he said softly a few moments later, finally pulling away so our mouths still hovered close and I remained trapped in his embrace. He was breathless and his chest heaved against mine.
“I’ve missed you too,” I whispered and he kissed me again, gentler this time, so soft it almost hurt after the assault on my mouth only a few moments before.
He pulled away again, looking into my eyes as he ran his fingertips slowly down my cheek as our breathing slowed.
“Sorry about that,” he said with a grin as he took my hand. “I couldn’t help myself.”
“You don’t see me complaining, do you?” I asked playfully, raising an eyebrow at him and he laughed quietly.
“I’ll remember that for later then.” He winked at me and then led me down the hall and into the living room. “How was the drive in?” he asked as we settled on the couch.
“Not bad. Traffic wasn’t terrible and I dropped Sawyer and Lindsey off at their hotel and then came here.”
“I told him they could stay here. There’s no need for him to waste money on a hotel.”
“You know he won’t go for that and I have to say, I’m kinda grateful for that.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that?”
“Because I want you to myself. I don’t want anyone around that would cause you to hold back in any way.” My voice was soft and sultry as I leaned in, kissing him slowly for a few moments before taking his lower lip in my teeth and biting playfully. I felt him wince in pain, but I knew he liked it.
“You mean you don’t think Sawyer wants to be around when I have his little sister in bed?”
“I don’t think he’d like that at all.” I grinned coyly and I saw the want his eyes.
“And what are you expecting me to do to you?”
“I don’t know,” I said, one side of my mouth pulling into a grin. “Why don’t you show me?”
“Right now?” he asked softly and I nodded.
“Right now,” I answered.
“But we’re supposed to go to dinner soon.”
“In an hour,” I said quietly, cupping his cheek with my palm and tracing the line of his jaw with my thumb. I could tell it was affecting him by the way it clenched and he took in a deep, slow breath. “A lot can happen in an hour.”
His jaw tightened again, but then the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile.
“You know I can’t resist you, Caroline.”
“Then don’t,” I said and I’d barely gotten the words out when I was falling into the couch, the heaviness of his body on top of mine as he started to kiss me again, his mouth moving hungrily over mine as I tugged at his shorts, not stopping until they were gone. I loved it when we made love slow and gentle, but that’s not what I wanted now. It wasn’t what either of us wanted. The weeks apart had been too much and all I wanted was to feel him again. I needed that from him before anything else.
He reached up, grabbing his shirt by the collar and pulling it over his head. I found myself unable to look away from him. Adam had always been fit, but now he was near perfection after all the training he’d been doing. His chest was rock hard and I found myself running my hands over the soft skin while he reached for my jeans, unbuttoning them and then sitting up, slowly sliding the zipper down as he looked into my eyes. His gaze never left mine as he pulled the denim away from my body so I lay there in nothing but my comfortable white blouse. That didn’t last long though because once my pants were gone, he sat up and slowly began unbuttoning my shirt until it was gone too. I loved the way his eyes moved lazily over my body as if I were some masterpiece on display in a gallery. Whenever he looked at me like this, I knew he loved me as much as I loved him. He thought I was beautiful and he’d helped me to realize that I was.
He looked at me once before falling back onto me, kissing me deeply as he gently parted my legs with his knees. His kiss had found its way to my neck then and as his tongue traced a slow line up my throat, I felt him inside of me. I moaned softly as we began to move together. I was finally whole again.
~~~
My mind kept drifting back to that moment as we entered the restaurant. I held Adam’s hand tightly, trying to keep my mind focused on the fact that my brother and Lindsey were waiting for us inside. I was finding it to be a nearly impossible task though, not after the way Adam had made me feel. I knew his mind was back in the apartment too, but I had to get myself focused and when I looked up and saw Sawyer, I pushed the memories of Adam’s hands on me out of my mind.
“Hey, man,” Adam said, shaking Sawyer’s hand and they leaned in for a quick hug. Adam turned to Lindsey then, kissing her on the cheek. “You guys haven’t been waiting long, have you?” Adam asked.
“No. We just got here about five minutes ago,” Sawyer answered.
“Good. I’ll just go check in with the hostess,” Adam said, walking up to the podium where a pretty girl in a tight black dress was standing. I watched her reaction when she looked up and saw Adam. She probably wasn’t even aware of the pink hue staining her cheeks as she looked at him. Even though I felt my insecurities kick in, I didn’t fault the girl. It was impossible not to be affected by Adam. He was a natural flirt, which didn’t help the situation. One smile from Adam DeLain and a woman was helpless.
“C’mon, guys,” Adam said, gesturing us to follow.
He took my hand and we followed the leggy hostess to a table in the back. He thanked her by discreetly handing her a tip. She smiled at him again and then walked away. Even though Adam hadn’t given her a second glance, I was still glad to see her go.
We sat down and I noticed the lighting was dim in the restaurant, which was something I’d learned to appreciate since dating Adam. It offered us more privacy, which was something we weren’t afforded a lot of. I was used to us getting stopped by fans whenever we went out in Boston. We had no anonymity in the city, not in the way we did in Silver Falls. Back home, everyone knew Adam, but they’d known him since he was a little boy, not only as an ace pitcher. The people in town would talk baseball with him on occasion, but for the most part they left us alone, which is why I loved it when Adam came home. Life in the city was very different than life back in Silver Falls or anywhere else we went, for that matter.
The waitress came by and asked what we wanted to drink as we looked through the menus. She came back a few minutes later with our drinks and then took our order.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Sawyer asked, directing his attention towards Adam once the waitress left.
“As ready as I can be,” Adam replied. His voice sounded calm, but I could sense his nerves. He was trying to be a professional about his return to the mound in over a year, but I knew Adam and I knew he was anxious. Sawyer knew too.
“You’re going to do fine,” I said encouragingly, placing my hand over his. He turned his head and our eyes met. I smiled at him and he seemed to relax a little.
“So,” he said a moment later, turning away from me and looking at Sawyer. “How’s the farm doing?”
“Good. We have a lot of new calves this spring and I’ve been looking to buy some land.”
“Land?” I asked, looking over to my brother in surprise. “What’re you talking about?”
“I can’t live in the stable house forever.”
“I know that,” I shot back, my voice sounding harsher than it should. “It’s just that you didn’t tell me anything about it.”
“I don’t run all of my life’s choices by you, Caroline.”
“I don’t expect you to. I’m just surprised is all. Where’s the land?”
“Not too far from the house. Maybe ten miles north. Closer to Montpelier,” he answered and I sat back in my chair, looking at my brother curiously. I couldn’t believe I didn’t notice earlier, but there was something off about him and I folded my arms, my stare going between him and Lindsey, who were looking at each other.
“Closer to Montpelier,” I said softly. “Why closer to Montpelier?”
I watched as Sawyer and Lindsey both started smiling as she brought her hand up to the table, my eyes focusing on the shiny diamond sparkling on her left hand.
I couldn’t say anything. I was literally speechless as I tried to find the words to express what I was witnessing.
“Lindsey and I are engaged,” Sawyer finally said and it went quiet for a few moments as he linked his fingers with hers, resting their knotted hands on the tabletop.
“Wha…When…I mean…wow.” I was stuttering and not making any sense and so I simply shut up.
“Sawyer proposed last weekend,” Lindsey said, smiling at my brother and I felt tears in the backs of my eyes. She made him so happy and my brother deserved happiness.
“Why…why didn’t you say anything sooner?” I asked.
“We were waiting for the right time and we thought tonight was the perfect time.”
He pulled Lindsey’s hand to his lips, kissing it before resting it back on the table. I was out of my seat then, walking quickly to my brother, leaning down and hugging him tightly before doing the same to Lindsey.
“Congratulations,” Adam said, standing up and giving Sawyer and Lindsey each a hug before we all sat back down.
“Do Mom and Dad know?” I asked because I hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary with my parents lately. If they’d known about Sawyer’s engagement, there was no way my mother would’ve been able to keep it from me.
“No. You guys are the first people we’ve told,” Sawyer said and I reached for my napkin to dab at the tears in my eyes.
“This is…this is so great. I’m so happy for you guys,” I said, smiling widely at my brother and then to Lindsey.
“Thank you,” she said. I could sense her hesitation. I didn’t know Lindsey that well. She and Sawyer spent most of their time at her place, which I didn’t blame them for. He may live in the stable house, but it was still only a few hundred yards from the house my parents and I lived in. I knew they needed their privacy. Even though I was still getting to know Lindsey, I’d never seen Sawyer so happy and because of that, I loved her already.
“When’s the wedding?” Adam asked.
“We’re not sure yet. Around Christmas maybe,” Sawyer answered.
“We’re going to keep it small. Nothing big. Just family and friends,” Lindsey said. It sounded like the perfect wedding for them. Neither of them was the kind who wanted to be the center of attention.
“I’m so happy for you guys,” I said, raising the glass of wine I’d ordered. Lindsey and Sawyer did the same, and Adam lifted his glass of water. He rarely drank during baseball season and never the night before a game.
As I took a sip of wine, I found myself looking around the table. A year ago, none of this was even on the radar. Sawyer didn’t know Lindsey and Adam was still a memory, but now we sat together. My brother was engaged and Adam and I were together. It was all a reminder of how fast life can change. You think you have it all figured out. You think you know where you’re headed, but then something happens to change it all and as I turned to look at Adam, I was so grateful that life was in control instead of me.
~~~
We didn’t stay out late. Adam wanted to get to bed early since he had to be ready for a one o’clock start the next day. We’d said goodnight to Sawyer and Lindsey and made our way back to Adam’s place. It was only six o’clock and the sun was just starting to set when we walked through the door.
I’d noticed he’d been quieter than normal on the drive home. I didn’t know if something was bothering him or if it was just nerves about tomorrow. He set his keys on the counter and I reached for him, resting my hand gently on his arm. He turned to look at me and I saw his eyes looked heavy.
“You okay?” I asked and he nodded, but I didn’t believe him and he knew that.
“Game jitters is all,” he said with a smile, trying to reassure me.
“Is it always like this?” I asked him.
“At the start of a season it is. It’s harder now because I was off last year. I’ll be fine.”
He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. When he pulled back, I smiled at him, raising a playful eyebrow. I knew this had gotten his attention.
“How about a soak in the hot tub to relax you?” I suggested and I watched as his nerves started to soften and a grin spread on his face.
“I think that’s an excellent idea, Sweet Caroline,” he said in a low, rugged voice that caused excitement to brew in my stomach.
“I’ll get my suit and meet you on the deck.”
I ran a fingertip slowly down his cheek and I knew he watched me the entire time I was walking away.
I found my way to his bedroom. He’d set my bag on top of his bed, a large king-sized one that I could easily get lost in and had on many occasions. I dug out the bikini I’d brought just in case we decided to visit the hot tub. It was one of our favorite things to do when I’d come to visit him. A couple glasses of wine and the hot water was the perfect way to end our nights. I hoped tonight was just as perfect.
I slid on the black suit that left little to the imagination. I’d never have the guts to wear it in public, but I’d seen it in Florida and on a whim, decided to get it. As I looked at myself in the mirror, the little spaghetti straps doing an excellent job of making my breasts seem larger than they really were and my hair hanging in messy waves past my shoulders, I thought this might be just the thing to calm Adam and help him relax before his big day.
I grabbed a towel from the linen closet, wrapping it around my waist. I took a deep breath and made my way downstairs.
I saw the light from outside glowing into the hallway. I walked towards it and when I stepped outside, the hot tub was bubbling vigorously. Adam was in his swimming trunks, his back to me and adjusting the sound system until the slow sounds of Ryan Star quietly filled the air.
Although he lived in a townhouse, his small backyard seemed isolated and I often forgot he had neighbors. He’d taken great care to ensure his privacy and I was grateful for that when we needed time together.
He must’ve heard me step outside because he turned around as I walked towards him. A slow smile spread on his face when he saw me and I grinned back. A half-smile that teased him.
“Hey,” he said in the rugged voice again.
“Hey, yourself.”
I slid the towel off my waist and draped it over a chair. I watched as his eyes moved slowly over me from head to toe, the grin growing wider on his face with each inch covered.
“I like your new suit,” he said softly, taking a few slow steps towards me.
“I thought you might. I saw it in Florida and decided to pick it up.”
“I’m certainly glad you did,” he said, making the last few steps towards me and sliding his hands around my waist and pulling me to him until my breasts pressed against his hard chest. “No words can do justice to how you look, Caroline.”
I felt my cheeks grow hot as he leaned in, planting a gentle kiss on my lips that left me aching for more when he pulled away.
“Hot tub’s ready. Shall we?” he asked, gesturing to the bubbling water.
I nodded and he helped me up the stairs until I stepped into the water that was almost too hot, but felt amazing at the same time.
Soon, I was seated, my back against the slick lining and bubbles consuming me. Adam was next to me a moment later, his arm around me, holding me close for a few quiet moments as we simply let ourselves take in the relaxation of the water.
“This is exactly what we needed, Care,” he said after a while and I leaned in closer to him.
“I just want you to relax. To just live in the moment. Forget about tomorrow and just be.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and I felt him kiss the top of my head. I closed my eyes for a few moments as he ran his fingertips over the skin of my shoulder. It all felt so good. So peaceful. So calm.
“What do you think of Sawyer and Lindsey?” he asked a few moments later. “Did you see that coming?”
“I knew they were serious. He told me he thought she was the one, but I didn’t think they’d do it this soon. They haven’t even been together a year.”
“You think time is that important?” he asked and I lifted my head from his shoulder, turning to face him.
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I do think it’s important. You have to really know someone before you can commit to spending your life with them.”
“But what if you just know that someone’s the one? Should you wait?”
“I guess not. Not if it feels right, but you have to be sure.”
“And you think Sawyer’s sure?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling as I thought about my brother. “He wouldn’t have asked her if he wasn’t sure. I just hope it all works out for them. Sawyer deserves this.”
Adam nodded and pulled me to him again.
“He does. Your brother’s the best friend I’ve ever had.” Adam’s voice dipped and I turned towards him.
“You sound sad. What’s the matter?” I asked. He shook his head and sighed.
“I’m fine. Thinking about Sawyer getting married is just causing me to get nostalgic is all,” he said with a quiet laugh.
“Reminiscing about the good ol’ days?” I asked with a grin. “Wishing you could live it all over again?”
“A little.”
“You and Sawyer were a couple of hellions, weren’t you?”
“You don’t even know the half of it,” he said, laughing again.
“Maybe it’s better that way.” I smiled at him and he nodded.
“Probably,” he added with a laugh, but it faded quickly. “I missed out on so much when I left Silver Falls.”
“That’s the past, Adam. You can’t dwell on it. You were young and stupid. Anybody would’ve done what you did. You were living a dream.”
“Maybe I thought I was, but it doesn’t compare to what I’m living now.”
He looked into my eyes, hitting me with that intensity I always felt knowing how much he loved me.
“You have no idea what it means to know you’ll be out there tomorrow when I take the mound.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I’m here for you, Adam,” I said, moving closer to him so I was now straddling him as my arms linked around his neck. “Always,” I added softly, pressing my lips gently onto his and then pulling back slowly, resting my forehead against his.
“What if I mess up tomorrow?”
“You won’t. You’re going to be amazing.”
“And what if I’m not?” he asked, the nerves heavy in his voice.
“Then you’ll still be amazing. Nothing you do or don’t do will ever change that fact.”
He smiled shyly, like a little boy might, and I kissed him again.
“You always know what to say, Caroline,” he whispered.
“That’s what I’m here for. To remind you how special you are, Adam, because you are special. The people love you because of how fast you can throw a baseball, but that’s not all you are. I love you because of so much more. You’re kind and loving and I’ve never met anyone like you. No matter what happens out there tomorrow, I believe in you. I always will,” I said, pulling back enough so I could look into his eyes. So he could see that I really meant it.
“Thank you. I love you, Caroline,” he whispered and then gently cupped my face in his hands. “Forever.”
The nerves were gone from his face now. Maybe I’d brought him a little comfort on the eve of one of the most defining moments in his life. I’d shown him no matter the outcome tomorrow, I was here for him and I always would be. There was nothing else I could do.
~~~
I knew sleep hadn’t come easily for Adam. He’d been restless all night, tossing and turning. I knew it was from the anxiety. I’d thought about asking him if he wanted to talk, but I’d remained quiet. There was nothing to talk about and so I remained quiet, praying for him to fall asleep. I’d eventually dozed off and when I woke up around four a.m., I found him lying peacefully, his head on the pillow and one arm draped above it. It may not have been all that he needed, but at least he’d gotten some sleep until his alarm went off at six.
When he crawled out of bed, I knew he was being careful, trying not to wake me. Light was peeking in from the split in the curtains and I watched as he stood up and stretched, the taut muscles in his shoulders and arms flexing as he did so. I felt the familiar feeling in my stomach, a mixture of excitement and arousal, every time I looked at him. It was still strange to me sometimes…the relationship between Adam and I. Sometimes when I looked at him, I still saw the kid I’d grown up with, but mostly, like now as my eyes moved over his body, I saw the man I loved so deeply it scared me sometimes.
He turned around suddenly, his eyes meeting mine, a slow smile spreading on his face.
“I was hoping I wouldn’t wake you.”
He walked to my side of the bed, kneeling at my side and running a hand through my hair, pushing it back out of my face.
“You know I’m a light sleeper,” I said softly.
“I know, but you should go back to sleep.” His fingers went through my hair again and I closed my eyes for a moment, a sea of goosebumps shooting up my neck from his touch.
“I will. I’m glad you woke me though. I wanted to see you before you left.” I smiled at him and he leaned down, brushing his lips lightly over mine.
“Me too.” He kissed me again and when he pulled back, I saw a telling grin on his face. “I’m gonna grab a shower before I go. I know it’s early, but since you’re awake, care to join me?”
His eyebrow raised and I felt myself blush, but when he held his hand out to me, the invitation was impossible to resist, not when my mind flooded with the things I knew he could do to me. I nodded and before I could vocalize my response, he’d scooped me up into his arms. Two minutes later, my worry for him was gone. All I could focus on was the feel of his body against mine as he made love to me while the water spilled over us. I’d nearly forgotten he was about to embark on one of the biggest moments of his life. I only hoped the same had been true for him.