CHAPTER 5

JARED

The piano’s keys were smooth under my fingers as I let them sail across the keyboard. Head bent and eyes closed, I soaked in the sound and tried to let it guide me where it wanted to go. New songs always started out like this, just me and the piano and a notebook.

I was by myself in the studio. After getting back from my early lunch, the place had been empty and I took advantage of the solitude. Too often, with all five of us in here with the other four playing their hearts out and the microphone amplifying my voice, it was too loud to think. Let alone focus or create.

Since the guys were all still off only God knew where, it was good to have to place to myself for a change. Calming.

I could tune out all the bullshit and focus only on the music that wanted out while it was just me here. This was what it was all about for me. Well, this and the adrenaline of performing. Two things so totally opposite but yet managed to bring it all into perspective for me all the same. It was what I loved and what I would keep doing until my voice faded and my fingers refused to play the way they did now.

Caleb knew how I felt about this, so did Dom. Or at least they used to. They never would’ve accused me of all that crap they’d been flinging my way earlier if they still believed that.

Fact that I wanted to have some fun while we were at it didn’t change shit. In here, I was still me. Still as serious as ever, I just didn’t think we had to push as hard all the time anymore. Wasn’t a crime.

The door to the studio opened, the sounds flowing from the piano coming to an abrupt stop as my hands stilled and I opened my eyes to see who had come to disrupt my flow. The guys knew better.

If any one of them had looked in on me, they’d have known to leave me alone while I was trying to get this out. Turned out, our manager either hadn’t known or didn’t care.

“We need to talk.” Gerry shut the door behind him and perched on the windowsill to the sound booth on my left. He undid the button on his suit jacket and braced his hands beside his hips, smoothing his tie as he pierced me with his glare. “What’s going with the band?”

“What do you mean?” I turned on the stool, my back to him as I grabbed my notebook and scribbled out the lyrics that were starting to take shape in my head just before he interrupted.

Gerry wasn’t deterred by my unspoken fuck off signals. “I mean I had you slated to meet Alicia today and to get her all caught up with you guys and the sound of the new album, but you came storming out of the session looking like you wanted to rip someone’s head off and the others seem to be missing in action.”

“It’s nothing you have to concern yourself with, Gerry.” He wasn’t our babysitter. We paid him to do a job, which wasn’t to question us or interfere with our business. “When the guys get back, they’ll have their heads cleared and we’ll carry on as planned.”

“Not as planned.” Gerry said firmly. “I’ve told Alicia you won’t be meeting with her today.”

“Why?” The feisty blonde seemed like fun. I’d put her out of my head when I’d hit the studio and found it empty, but since he brought her up the intriguing girl was back in my head space. I wondered if she’d agree to dinner after she’d met the others. She said she thought it would be best if she met with all of us together, she never said no to meeting with only me after.

Gerry sighed. I didn’t see him move since my back was still to him, but I heard the muted footsteps of his polished shoes crossing the studio, then he was standing on the other side of the piano. Right in my line of sight.

Asshole.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea for her to meet you while you working out whatever spat you boys are having.”

“Spat?” I scoffed. “We’re not ten. We can handle a meeting with our P.R despite our… differences. Where is she?”

“Gone.” Leaning forward, Gerry planted his elbows on the piano and laced his fingers together.

I lifted my eyes from the notebook, keeping my tone light. It came out with a mocking edge to it I hadn’t necessarily been going for. “Gone where? We have a meeting.”

Skin reddening at the tips of his ears and his hands clasped so tightly his knuckles went white, I could see I getting to Gerry.

What else was new? I always got to Gerry, not always intentionally though.

The man was wound tighter than Caleb and Dom put together. If anyone bothered to extract the sticks the three of them and Brad, our apparently ex- P.R guy, had up their asses and combined them I was sure said stick would reach all the way to China.

Here’s to hoping the new chick’s not as stuck up.

“I told you.” Gerry said, his tone not nearly as serene as I could tell he was trying to force it to be. “You’re not meeting with her today. Not anymore. I don’t want you ruining things with her and with the moods you’re in, one of you were going to do just that.”

“Don’t think she could handle a couple of moody rockers?” I cocked my head. “Isn’t she in the wrong business if she can’t deal with that?”

A valid question from my point of view, but from the way Gerry’s face was getting redder in some places and paler in others, I knew he thought I was goading him. Splotchy Gerry meant angry Gerry. He was too easy, really.

“I didn’t say she couldn’t, I said I didn’t want her to. She’s going to be a good addition to our team, Jared. A valuable resource I don’t want to lose because one of you is too immature to let whatever happened between you stay between you or because she’s a skirt you can chase to fuck your frustrations out.”

He was easy, but damn if he didn’t know us well. Didn’t mean I didn’t still want to make that play to fuck her, but I had plenty of time. Looked like Gerry was intent on keeping her around for a while.

I saluted him just as the door slammed open again and the guys sauntered back inside. “Aye aye, Captain. Crew’s all here, see? Told you not to worry about it.”

“Worry about what?” Dom’s eyes flicked between Gerry’s and mine as he came to stand between us at the piano.

I waved him off, flashing him an innocent smile. “Nothing. Isn’t that what I just said? Ready to get back to work?”

Dom and Caleb, who was hot on Dom’s heels coming inside and had taken up position next to him, exchanged a look that set my teeth grinding together. I pushed my annoyance with the high- and- mighty duo back and stood up from the piano, closing the lid with more force than necessary but nothing as much as what I was feeling inside.

Caleb’s eyes were hot on my back as I walked over to the mic- stand and lifted it out of the cradle. Giving him a pointed look, I dropped my chin and raised my eyebrows. “Well?”

Eyes narrowing, he looked like he was about to say something but dropped it when Dom cleared his throat. “Let’s get to it.”

Matt and Nick were standing at the door, watching us. When Caleb and Dom moved across the studio to their instruments, Nick shrugged and both he and Matt followed suit. Gerry clearly wasn’t done with me, but he lifted his arms from the piano and strode to the door while the others got into position.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow. Lay down at least one track for me this afternoon, okay?”

Dom grunted something I couldn’t hear under his breath while Matt shot Gerry a thumbs up and a goofy grin. “Sure thing, Ger. Try our best, anything for you.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help it when my lips twitched up into a smile at Matt’s fake sincerity. Nick’s shoulders shook in silent laughter as he adjusted his guitar’s strap on his shoulder, but Caleb remained impassive. He never used to be so damn serious all the time, but my brother was changing. Not for the better, in my opinion.

“Let’s take it from the top.” Dom said when everyone was ready. Gerry shook his head disdainfully and disappeared out the door without another word.

I waited for Dom to count to us in, absorbing every chord the boys played of the intro to what I thought should be the title track of the album. Another thing we couldn’t agree on.

Tapping my foot to the rhythm they were setting, I launched into the first verse right on cue. Goosebumps raised my skin as I belted out the words I’d written somewhere over the Atlantic ocean months ago, around the middle of our last tour. The plane had been quiet, the cabin lights dimmed as we jetted to our next destination. I could picture the scene so clearly, I’d-.

“Jared!” Caleb’s loud growl yanked me from that place only my music could take me to and since I’d been so thoroughly immersed, the impact was jarring.

“What?” I snapped, blinking the studio back into focus. I could almost still smell the stale coffee in the cabin’s air and the tequila I’d been drinking with Nick on the plane, that was how completely the song had taken me back to its origins.

“You’re lagging.” Caleb bit out. “Again.”

I snorted. “Bullshit.”

“He’s right.” Dom rose from his stool, shoving his hands through his hair as he paced. “But it wasn’t just you this time.”

“Oh thanks.” I said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “So kind of you to acknowledge it might not be me throwing this off for you.”

“It’s you, all right. I just said it wasn’t only you.” He stopped pacing and turned to glare at me. “Something’s off.”

“Guys,” Matt chimed in. “Let’s just start again, okay? I was trying something on the bridge, didn’t mean to throw anything off.”

“It wasn’t that.” I told him. Much as I hated to agree with Dom, something was off. The lyrics might’ve transported me away, but as I replayed the last few minutes in my head, I could hear what he meant. “I think we should call it a day.”

“An unproductive one.” Nick muttered, but he didn’t look worried about it. No surprise there.

Caleb stared at me, then he lifted his strap over his head and set his guitar down. “I agree.”

“We’ll pick it back up tomorrow, but we’re wasting each other’s time today. Everyone go do whatever it is you need to do or deal with. Get laid, drink ‘til you pass out, cry, call your mom. Whatever, just be back without all this shit tomorrow.”

One unproductive day where we couldn’t get it together was one thing, another would start a pattern I didn’t want us stuck in. I was after fun and getting stuck in rut recording, that didn’t sound like fun to me at all.