Chapter 18

Sadie

I walked around the house gathering the laundry and tidying up. Trash day was approaching, and I liked to have things in tip-top shape on that day. By the time I got to the bathroom to empty the small wastepaper basket, Darek was standing in the doorway holding it.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping.” He gave a shrug. “I’m feeling much better, so I thought I’d get up and move around a bit for a change.”

“It’s my job, though. If you start cleaning up after yourself, I’m going to be out of a job.”

“I doubt that. I am always going to need you.”

“Yeah?” I searched his eyes, and he pulled me in for a quick kiss.

“Yes.”

“I meant to ask, did you have a good chat with James and Maya?” I’d been upset to miss the visit, but I was glad to get my last weekly test over with. One more final, and I would be done.

“Yes.” He got a strange grin on his face.

“What? You look like the cat that ate the canary.”

“Well, they told me something. I’m sure Maya would want to tell you, though.” He shrugged it off, but my mind went crazy with guesses.

“They moved the date up?” I followed him down the hall, and he shook his head.

“No. The dates the same as far as I know.”

“They are moving away?” I really hoped she’d not go anywhere. It was nice to have a friend and even though we hadn’t gotten terribly close, I knew our friendship would grow.

“Nope, they’re staying put as far as I know.” He wasn’t budging to give anything away.

I was about to give up when he took me into his arms from behind and patted my tummy. “I’d like to have similar news someday. With you.” He kissed my neck.

“She’s having a baby?”

“Yes, she let me hold her pee stick. It was definitely positive.” I was so excited to figure it out that I hadn’t registered what he’d said until a moment later when his hand moved against my tummy again.

“Wait. Do you want to have a baby someday? With me?” I narrowed my eyes and felt of his forehead.

“Yeah, I mean. I do think we’d make great parents, but it’s not like I want it anytime soon. Not even in the next few years. But you know, someday.” He did a fair amount of backpedaling, so I blew it off.

“Right. Someday.” I went about my cleaning, and he followed me around the house, helping out a little, but mostly watching me to see what I was doing next.

“Well, what do you think about it?” He seemed eager.

“It’s wonderful news. I’m so happy for them.” I wasn’t sure what else he wanted me to say, but he rolled his eyes.

“Not about that. I mean, you know. Do you want children someday?” I wished he would have asked if I wanted his children because I’d have given him a quicker response and thrown out all of our condoms. But since what we had, wasn’t defined or declared, my answer had to be different.

“I’d like to have a relationship first, I suppose. I mean, it might help.” I gave him a sassy look.

He pulled me close and spun me to face him. “I want a relationship with you if you haven’t noticed. That’s what this is, right?”

“I guess. I mean, however undefined.” I threw him a look over my shoulder, and he crossed his arms for a moment. Being honest, it was more like a fling with my boss, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him think that’s all it meant to me because I had certainly fallen for him. No going back.

“Oh, so you want to slap a label on it, huh? Well, how about I take you out to dinner tomorrow night, and we talk about what kind of labels we have to choose from?” He gave me a pat on the ass as his phone rang. He went to the room to take it.

I got out the furniture polish and dusted the living area, then I went room by room, leaving him his privacy in his bedroom, while I dusted mine.

I didn’t mind having my own space, but really wanted to share a room with him, instead of having a separate room. I had been sleeping with him and moved my things into his bathroom, but it still didn’t feel official.

I wanted everyone to know about us, not just a few. I wondered what his fans would think of him having a girlfriend or a fiancée. I wondered if I’d have to compete with all of his admirers when we were out on the road and beat them off with a stick. That idea was a bit tempting, too.

I still felt like just his employee at times. I know it wouldn’t be much different. If I was his girlfriend, his fiancée, his wife, I’d still have to clean the house and fold his laundry. Only I wouldn’t get paid to do it. Maybe I was better off? No way.

I wasn’t sure what would happen to my job once things were official. If he’d still want me on his team, or to explore my ideas. He’d seemed interested, and like he really wanted to make them come to fruition.

There was nothing more exciting than seeing my ideas put to use.

I went into his office and dusted his bookcases, and by the time I made my way around the room, I heard the shower cut on in the next room.

He must have finally decided to get dressed in case we wanted to go to lunch or perhaps he had a meeting with someone. Either way, I would try and finish up quickly. I went to dust his desk, and the yellow highlighted circle stuck out and caught my eye.

I leaned over and read the name, Doug Lord, and beneath it a small note which I mumbled to myself, “Meeting for Manager’s spot.” He hadn’t told me about a meeting. Sure, he didn’t have to check in with me to go and do anything, but I had thought if there was something like this about to happen, he’d have at least let me know.

A quick look around and I noticed other things too.

Sticking out from under the edge of the calendar, as if to be hidden, was a printout of ski lodges and their pricing. I opened his top drawer and found he’d also done some research on cruise ships.

My heart was about to beat out of my chest as I quickly ran to my room and threw a few things in a bag. He was going to hire someone else and use my ideas. I didn’t want to be his housekeeper forever, and even if I was his girlfriend, I wanted a job to support myself as long as I could. He’d said we’d explore those ideas together, but he’d gone behind my back and searched them out without saying a word. There were stacks of papers, yet he’d said nothing. Instead, he’d tucked them away so I couldn’t see them.

I wasn’t going to sit by while he stole my ideas and gave someone else the job I deserved.

I was out of the house before his shower was done, and I grabbed the first cab back to my mother’s house.

I cried on the way. He’d done just what I’d asked him not to do; he’d broken my heart. I couldn’t believe I was back at this place in my life; letting a man get to me like this. But it wasn’t just any man. It was Darek. He was something special, someone special, and millions knew it. Maybe I was better off.

As I rode across the city, with my stomach in knots, I knew that wasn’t true. I’d never be okay again. I’d never trust anyone enough to give away my heart, or at least what I had left of it.