CHAPTER 64

ALICIA

I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. There was no way Jared had really just said all that. Only, I’d been standing right there. I pinched myself twice, and I still didn’t wake up. When he turned to me, there was vulnerability in his eyes and what looked a lot like hope.

Roadies swarmed around us now that the dressing room door was open, all rushing to check Jared had everything he needed. The others had already headed out to party. Jared had looked eager to join them before the interview, but now all it really looked like he wanted to do was devour me. Yes, please!

Stalking toward me, he slipped his arms around my waist despite all the people around and bumped his nose to mine. He was doing that a lot lately. It sent flutters through my tummy and made me melt into him.

“I do know you heard it all. I told you I had a plan.”

My heart sank along with my stomach. A plan. That was all this was about. Distraction from Caleb. Wonderful.

I needed to get out of Jared’s arms now. Not because I was angry with him for using that angle to ensure the interview’s focus would remain on Jared—that was kind of brilliant actually—but because I went and did the stupid thing instead of the professional.

I’d bought into his words just like every fan would, which was his ultimate goal, but not only that. I was also convinced, for just a minute, that he had been talking about me. I needed to go find a rock to crawl under. Heat bloomed on my cheeks as embarrassment spread through me like a plague.

Jared frowned, lifting his index finger to place it under my chin and lift my gaze to his. My face was so flushed, I barely felt the heat from his finger. “Look at me, Alicia.”

I did. My shoulders pulled back, and I met his gaze, which darkened with confusion. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.

“No.” He’d protected his brother. He didn’t need to know I’d gone and read into it. “You were perfect.”

“Why do you look like you’re about to burst into tears then? And not the happy kind.” His brow furrowed.

I jumped back from him, mortified he could read me so well. Blinking hard, I willed the flush to recede and tried to school my features. “I’m not.”

Jared crossed his arms. “You could’ve fooled me. Seriously, what did I say?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. “It’s just—”

“I was talking about you. In case you were wondering.” His eyes were unwavering on mine, vulnerability creeping back into them.

One of my eyebrows raised, and I had to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. “You were?”

“Of course.” He stepped forward again and tugged me back into his arms. “Is that okay?”

“Depends.” I stared up at him, wanting to crawl into him and live there.

This man had the power to break my heart lying in his answer to my next question. I could only hope he really did feel the same way about me as I did about him. “Did you mean it when you said there was only one woman?”

Jared answered without hesitation, looking right into my eyes. “Yes.”

It took everything I had not to jump for joy. My subconscious took a few victory laps, and I squealed internally. Outwardly, the only reaction I allowed myself was a smile I couldn’t fight and lifting myself onto my tiptoes to press a quick kiss to his lips. “Then, it’s okay.”

Relief bled into his features, lighting up the golden flecks in his dark chocolate eyes. “Good. Do you have anything left to do here, or can we go?”

“We can go.” Jared gave me a last squeeze, went to grab his duffel from the bathroom, and we walked out side by side, weaving through hordes of people lingering after the performance. Thankfully, everyone back here now was crew, and Jared had no problems getting out.

When we reached the parking lot, a black Escalade was waiting for us. “Have you heard from the guys?”

He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped into his texts as the driver opened the door for me. “Yeah, they’re at a bar. No surprises there.”

“Are you going to go join them?” I wasn’t ready to let go of him for the night, but I wasn’t the clingy type. If he wanted to go hang out with the band, I wasn’t going to stop him. I needed time to process what he’d just said.

It didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it, but the words kept playing and replaying in my mind. She’s the only one I need. I was waiting for her.

I slid onto the back seat of the car, buckling up. Jared followed, his eyes darting to mine. “Thought I would go with them. You wanna come?”

My eyes widened. They’d invited me out before, but it seemed different that Jared was doing it now after effectively announcing to the world he was in a relationship—even if he hadn’t used the word. “I’ve never been out with the band. I wouldn’t mind experiencing it for just one night if you don’t think the others would mind me tagging along.”

“They won’t mind.” He leaned forward when the driver got into the car and gave him the name of the bar, reaching for my hand and holding it all the way there.

The bar Destitute was at was a local kind of hole-in-the-wall with scuffed wooden floors and about a thousand ties hanging from the roof. I would’ve taken them for the kind of guys to visit the more glamorous places, but Jared said they were all in the mood for low-key. Suited me just fine.

They were seated at a table near the back, right next to an old jukebox they seemed to have commandeered. Nick was sitting on the backrest of their booth, singing along to an eighties rock song while flipping through their other choices.

For a Saturday night, the place wasn’t all that busy, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. I wouldn’t have to deal with overly handsy groupies, out of control fans, or a million videos of the guys downing tequila shots on YouTube tomorrow morning. Not yet, anyway. But the night was still young.

They spotted us quickly once we entered, with Caleb waving from the table. “Hey, guys. How was the interview?”

“All taken care of,” Jared assured him, motioning for me to slide into the booth first. The bar was badly lit, with a few grimy lights fixed to the wall every couple of yards. Nick’s music from the jukebox played at the comfortable level, not so loud you couldn’t hear people speak.

I wouldn’t want to see the place in the daytime or when it was well-lit, but I kind of liked it right now. Matt was next to me as I slid my ass along the bench, patting the spot right up against him. “There’s space for you here.”

“Thanks.” I grinned, stopping with a decent amount of space left between us. “But I’m fine right here.”

He released the heaviest sigh like I’d denied him all the fun in the world, and then I saw the mischievous glint in his eye when he looked over to Jared, and I wondered if he knew about us and was just trying to screw with him.

“So Alicia,” Dom said, seated directly across from me, “how do you think the interview went?”

“Good. The fans are going to go crazy over it.” For different reasons than I’d initially thought, but they weren’t bad ones. “It’s going to create a lot of buzz, that’s for sure.”

“Excellent.” Matt’s hand shot into the air to beckon their waitress. “We’re celebrating. We’ll have a bottle of champagne please.”

The waitress looked at him like he’d grown a second head, her eyes darting pointedly around the bar before meeting his again. “I think we have a bottle of wine in the back that’s so old, it may have bubbles in it.”

Nick choked on a laugh and shook his head at Matt before turning to the waitress. “Did he say champagne? He meant more beer.”

“Please,” Dom added, shooting the woman a polite smile. She blushed, making me wonder if she knew who they were and was good at acting cool, or if he was just another hot guy at work who smiled at one of the only women in here.

She nodded and took off, leaving me alone with the band. Nick punched a button on the jukebox and held his hand out to me, pushing a lock of his midnight black hair from his forehead. “Dance with me?”

“There’s no one dancing and no dance floor,” I pointed out, looking around at the people sipping their drinks around us.

His blue eyes sparkled even in the low light as he waggled his brows. “We’re people, so if we dance, there will be someone dancing, and I’m standing on a floor to dance on, so I really don’t see the problem.”

Neither Jared nor Matt, seated on either side of me, moved. Nick ignored them. “I’ll help you over the table if you want.”

“What the hell,” I muttered, figuring I’d come out to have some fun with the band for once. I gave Jared’s thigh a reassuring squeeze under the table and allowed Nick to help me over. “Let’s do this.”

“I knew you’d be game.” Nick grinned and got me safely across the table. I’d kicked off my heels to be able to do it, and barefoot, the top of my head didn’t even reach his chin. It didn’t seem to bother him. He took my hand immediately and spun me, moving his hips to the rhythm of a song I hadn’t heard in years.

Nick was a good dancer, and as I expected, I had fun with him. He kept a respectful distance from me, which seemed to soothe Jared since he stopped glaring about a minute in.

For the next couple of hours, I danced, chatted with the guys, and found myself having a really good time. Jared stayed close by my side, but I didn’t think it was so close, anyone would suspect anything.

We were all drinking, but the guys were taking it slow and weren’t packing away alcohol like I’d seen them do in way too many pictures and videos. Looked like they were taking their promise to the Larsens seriously, which I was happy about.

Caleb, Matt, and I were comparing notes of our first few years of working in Los Angeles when Dom joined in the conversation. “I’m glad you decided to come out tonight. It’s way overdue. I just wish Gerry was here too. He should come next time. I think he’d be pleasantly surprised to see us not acting like a bunch of tools while drinking.”

His offhand mention of Gerry made me feel sick to my stomach. The news of his illness was still raw and hit me like a freight train every time I thought about it. I didn’t know the man that well, but I cared about him, and I wished there was something meaningful I could do to help, something more than what he’d asked of me.

Knowing the guys didn’t know when I did instantly made me feel like a liar. Worry and the feeling that I was betraying them overwhelmed me. Suddenly, I didn’t feel much like being out anymore.

Twenty minutes later, Jared was outside with me waiting for the driver to bring the car around. His forehead was scrunched in confusion. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lied. Again. My stomach constricted as my heart pounded, urging me to tell the truth, but I couldn't. “Sorry for leaving early. I’m just really tired.”

“Want me to come with you?” Sincerity dripped from his voice. A genuine offer, not a ploy to get into my pants or bed and not just an offer he felt he had to make. Jared didn’t do anything he didn’t really want to do.

“No, you should stay. Enjoy the night with the guys. You guys deserve it.” And having him around really wasn’t going to make me feel any better about the whole Gerry thing. Especially since I had to keep it from him.

I really, really hated this.