Chapter 28

Kya

I woke up on Wednesday morning with the ache still in my heart. I hadn’t heard from Leonard since he walked out the day of the conference, and I didn’t expect I’d ever hear from him again. Surely, if he was going to remain professional and do all the things he’d promised us on the case, then he’d show up for the court date.

As I dragged myself out of bed and headed down the hall to wake up Addie, I decided that if I hadn’t heard from him by lunch, I was going to call him. I didn’t want to walk into that courtroom not knowing what I was facing from Whit and his new lawyer, much less be blindsided by my own. If he owed me anything, it was finishing the job he started.

I opened the door to Addie’s room and walked over to turn off her nightlight and switch on her lamp. I took a deep breath and slapped on a happy grin, which was so forced, it was nearly painful. All of my feelings aside, I wasn’t about to let my daughter see me down.

As I flipped the switch and the room brightened, I gave her my usual morning greeting, “Good morning, sunshine. It’s time to get up for school, Addie.”

Addie rolled over and groaned. She opened one eye and then brought her fist to her mouth and coughed.

“No, you don’t. You didn't have a cough all day yesterday, and you are not laying out of school again.”

“But, Mama. I’m feeling really bad. I think my toes are going to fall off.”

“Your toes are not going to fall off, but if you aren’t up and dressed and at the breakfast table in ten minutes, I’m taking away your TV privileges for a month.”

“No more princesses?”

“Nope, I’m not playing around with you. I have too much to do today,” Tears welled in my eyes, and my voice cracked. “You’re going.”

Addie’s eyes widened, and she got up from her bed. “I’m sorry, Mama. I’m going.” She ran to the bathroom, and even though I hadn’t wanted her to think she’d done anything wrong, I’d wait until she was at the table eating before I explained.

I dried my eyes on the way to the kitchen and then washed my hands and had everything ready to pour us both a bowl of cereal.

She rounded the corner and sagged, dragging her little backpack with her. “I don’t want cereal again, Mama. Could we go to the diner today?”

I hadn’t been to the bank in a week and with me not working to bring in any jobs and taking half of our savings to pay Susan Costanzo her retainer fee, things were tight. Sure, I could dip into the vacation fund, the bill money, or Addie’s college fund, but it didn’t seem smart to do that for pancakes I could make myself. And if we lost that case, things would be even tighter until I figured it all out. “Not today, sweetie.”

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

“Life’s hard sometimes, sweet pea. It gets hard and makes me sad. And it doesn’t help when you fight me on school or where we eat breakfast and other things. You have to learn that I know what’s best for you and let me take care of you.” I wiped another tear from my eye.

“I’ll help. I’ll take care of you, too, Mama.” She climbed up to the table and pulled the bowls in front of her. Then, she carefully poured us both some cereal.

“Thanks, sweet pea. I’ll do the milk, okay?” I took the milk and poured, and as she took her first bite, she looked up and winked. “The two of us.” She held out her spoon, and I tapped mine with hers.

“The two of us.” I felt another fresh tear escape and quickly wiped it from my cheek. It had been the two of us for so long now, and even though I wished Leo would be a part of our lives, too, I guessed it always would be. It wasn’t that I needed a man in my life, but it would have been nice to have someone else around to share in the responsibilities and take care of us both for a change.

Without another fuss, Addie ate her cereal and then grabbed her bag up from the floor when it was time for school. And when we walked out to the car, she even held my hand.

“Mama? Are you going to see Leo today?”

“I’m not sure,” I said as I unlocked the car and boosted her into the back. “Why?”

“Just wondering. Maybe he could cheer you up since I’m going to school.”

“I bet he could.” I gave a half-hearted smile thinking of all the ways he’d made me feel good before. But those times were most likely long gone, another part of my life that used to be.

I took her to school, and after I was done driving her, I went to Sadie’s house. She’d asked me to stop over and plan another tutorial, this time on natural looking brows and the sins of over-tweezing. I’d told her I would, but now that the time had come, I really didn’t feel up to it.

She opened the front door before I could knock. “Hey, girl, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.”

“You’ve got tear streaks, Kya, so I don’t buy it. Come on in, and I’ll make us some coffee.” I followed her in and to the kitchen where she offered me a seat at her bar while she made quick work with the Keurig. “So, have you heard from Leo?”

“No, not since the other day.”

“Well, as much as I would love to be mad at him, I guess I can’t blame the guy for being in shock, but he needs to grow a pair and come around.” She passed me my cup of vanilla cappuccino and then started making her own.

I glanced up from my steaming cup. “I don’t know what we’re going to do, Sadie. What if he doesn’t show up for the trial?” I hated to even think about walking into that courtroom alone only for the judge to see our attorney hadn’t even bothered to show up. We’d not only look ridiculous, but we’d lose the case we were a shoe-in to win. “I’m not going to let this go on another day. I plan to call him. I just hope he answers.”

Sadie took a stool at the end of the bar to join me. “Well, Leo or not, we’re going into that courtroom with our heads high and fight.” Sadie raised her fist and bumped mine. “Atta girl. And if he doesn’t come around, it's his loss. You’ve never needed a man in your life to accomplish anything—well, other than becoming a mom, but let’s face it, if you wanted that to happen, you could have gone down to a clinic and paid for that.”

I knew she was just trying to cheer me up, but it didn’t do too much to raise my spirits. All I kept thinking of were all the times I’d missed out on having Leo in my life. It was my own dumb choices that had gotten me in this situation. “I feel like it’s all my fault.”

She shook her head and reached across the bar to hold my arm. “No, he made the choice to leave this time.”

“I mean going back all of those years. If I hadn’t broken his heart the first time or let him go even the second time, then maybe he’d have been around that next morning when Whit showed up.”

“Life is full of maybes, Kya.” She pulled her hand back and raked it through her long, blond hair. “We do the best in making choices when we make them. We can’t go back and wish it was all better and live a life of regret. You did the best with what life you had. Would you give up the songs, the tours, the experience you had by living your dream to be a stay-at-home mom and the wife of a lawyer?” I shook my head. “Or do you think poor Leo would have lasted one minute on the road to help you pursue yours? Maybe it’s meant to be this way. You have a great life and a family, the best, even if I’m a little biased.”

That seemed like it made sense to me, but I couldn’t help feeling like there was more to it. “Why can’t it be wonderful with Leo in it then, and why did he ever come into my life at all?”

She lifted her shoulders and smiled. “To give you Addison. Maybe she’s the only reason.”

I put my hand on my heart and rubbed the tender spot. “No, I don’t think it would hurt this much if that were true.”

“I’m sorry, Kya. I wish it wasn’t so bad. I mean, what the hell is up with this guy? Can’t he call? He obviously cares, or he wouldn’t have come to your house to make sure we made it back. I think he needed to see you. He just didn’t know what to say or do.”

“It can’t be easy. You know the kid never had so much as a puppy growing up. That day at the restaurant, when Addie was drinking her cherry cola, I thought he was going to lose it watching her try to manage the glass. He was like that when he was a kid. Kind of awkward, you know. Now he’s back in my life, insisting I call him Leo and so confident that he’s not the same guy, but I see him. I see the changes, and I like them, but there are other times when that lanky, geeky four-eyed braces-wearing kid rears his head, and for me, that’s okay too. I always loved that kid.”

“That’s because you’re in love with him. I’m jealous of that, you know.”

“Come on. You have that with Stones.”

“No, I don’t. Stones and I probably won’t work out. He’s never home, and to be honest, when he’s gone, the only thing I miss about him is the sex. Honestly, you and Leo have more going on. I’d put my money on the two of you.”

“You really don’t think you’ll make it?” I couldn’t believe she thought that, and suddenly, another dream seemed helpless. I had always seen them as the perfect couple when they were together, and even though I knew they kept an open relationship, I’d never seen her with anyone else. Was love an illusion?

She shook her head. “Nah, but don’t worry about me. I’m good. One day I’ll meet Mr. Wonderful, and he’ll sweep me off my feet. Besides, Stones already has a true love, and her name is Wanda.” She rolled her eyes, and we both shared a laugh. Wanda was Stones’ pride and joy Les Paul. The two had bonded over their instruments, and Sadie’s own precious Sally was her mistress as well.

“I think I’m going to pass on YouTubing today. I’ve got some things to do around the house since I’ve been in zombie mode.”

“No problem. We can wait until Saturday if you want. We’ll either use it as a celebration, or we’ll both be crying through the whole thing.”

“At least we’re doing eyebrows and not lashes. We’re good.” I got to my feet and gave her a hug. “I’ll show myself out. You sit and enjoy your coffee. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Good, and hey, keep your chin up, Kya. It’s all going to work out. We’re going to go down there tomorrow and hope for the best.”

As I gave her one more hug, I knew she was right. It was going to hurt for a while, but everything was going to be all right.